CAPTAIN CRANKY.
I was received with considerable kindness by Captain Cranky, who,
with all his roughness and tyranny, was not without some redeeming
points of character. He conveyed me at once to his cabin, furnished
me with proper refreshments, clothing, and with that which was of
some importance in the days when George III. was king, shaving
apparatus, for of all these items I was greatly in need.
After living so long in the open air, I had a sensation of oppression
and suffocation in his cabin, and the combined odours of the ship
were also overpowering. Afterwards, when at lunch, the captain and
Mr. Percival, heard the relation of my adventures on the island, and
detailed for the information of Admiral Jervis my account of the loss
of the _Etna_.
I was then informed of the events which had taken place at Guadaloupe
in my absence.
The brave old General Dundas--that sturdy specimen of a Scottish
gentleman and soldier of the old school--had died there of yellow
fever, and my regiment, the Fusiliers, had suffered considerably by
that scourge of the Antilles.
The general was scarcely interred, when a French expedition
consisting of several sail of the line, with frigates armed _en
flute_, and transports with two thousand troops on board, had
suddenly arrived and assailed fort La Fleur d'Epée. Landing in
thirteen boats, they stormed the works, after a hard struggle driving
out our 43rd light infantry, under Colonel Drummond, who, finding his
strength reduced to only _one hundred and fifty_ rank and file,
abandoned the place, and embarking them in two large boats, set sail
for Basse Terre, leaving the foe in possession of one half of the
island, which is divided in two by a narrow channel. The French in
following them up, had nearly captured the Earl of Kildonan and his
young countess, who had arrived from Britain, and both of whom had
been on a visit to Colonel Drummond, when La Fleur d'Epée was so
unexpectedly attacked and retaken. In crossing the Riviere Salee the
two boats were exposed to a fire of grape from the French galloper
guns, and the countess had her dress torn by the balls, and her face
covered by the blood of a corporal who was killed by her side.
All this had occurred on the 5th of June, and Sir Charles Grey was
now taking measures to drive these temporary victors into the sea.
"We shall haul up for Guadaloupe to night," said Captain Cranky, "and
rejoin old Jack Jervis--for we know there were at least nine large
ships in the squadron which retook the fort, and I would not, for a
thousand guineas, miss the chance of overhauling the parleyvoos, d--n
them! Take some more wine, my good fellow, or would you prefer grog?
D--n my eyes! to think of living on greens and cold water for nearly
two months. I consider our ship-biscuits bad enough, when full of
these maggots and weevils that whirlwind Tom--'tis a name we have for
the devil aboard ship--is always putting into them; but sink me! even
a week on that island--a week of banyan days, would have been the
death of old Tom Cranky."
While the captain ran on thus, and forced me to drink glass after
glass of wine, I could scarcely repress a smile, on remembering the
terror I had of him when on board the Leith pressing-tender.
As soon as the party came off from the island, which they did with
their boat laden with yams, tortoises, and fruit, we set sail for
Guadaloupe, and, to my surprise, my oldest friend could not have
exceeded Captain Cranky, in his continued kindness and attention to
me.
After the squadron left the West Indies, he served with great
distinction in the Mediterranean, and afterwards in the Baltic. When
in the latter sea, with the combined fleets of Britain and Russia,
then under the command of Admiral Viscount Duncan, a curious anecdote
was related of him, which was well known in those days.
The _Adder_, requiring to be refitted, was put into the harbour of
Memel, where the Emperor of Russia, the hapless Paul I. (who was
strangled in 1801) was then residing with the King of Prussia,
Frederick William II., as they were in alliance with us against
France.
It happened that the two monarchs, attended by a few gentlemen, were
walking along the mole to survey the new fortifications, when they
met Captain Thomas Cranky; and his peculiar aspect, his battered
visage, and old cocked hat, his periwig, pea-jacket, and brass-hilted
hanger, attracted their attention. Then Paul I., perceiving a
Russian military order dangling at his lapelle beside a boatswain's
whistle, which Cranky was never without, inquired politely when he
got it.
"Last year, for my services at the blockade of Ancona," replied
Cranky briefly, and was moving on, as he hated all foreigners with a
hearty old English hatred, viewing them as a Skye terrier does rats.
"Oh, you served with the allied Russian, Turkish, and British
squadrons?" continued the emperor.
"Belay, you lubber, and overhaul your speech again; don't name the
British fleet _last_," said Cranky, totally ignorant of whom he was
addressing; but the Emperor Paul laughed heartily.
"Take care, sir," said Frederick William, smiling; "you are
addressing His Imperial Majesty the Emperor of all the Russias."
Confounded on hearing this, Cranky drew back, blushed very red, and
taking off his rusty cocked hat, made a profound sea bow.
"And _this_ gentleman," added the emperor, who was very much amused,
"is his Prussian Majesty, Frederick William II."
On hearing this, Cranky conceived that they were bantering him; so he
stuck his cocked hat fiercely over his solitary eye, and sputtered
out,--
"'Vast, you lubbers! I don't choose to be made game of by you, or
such as you,--so sheer off, or I'll trounce you both, for insulting
the captain of a British frigate!"
And so he swaggered off, with his left hand upon the brass hilt of
his old hanger.
Poor Tom Cranky has long since been at rest from his labours by sea
and land; but he lived long about Greenwich, where he was a great
authority upon all matters pertaining to ships and salt water,--the
lion of a little naval club, and was wont to boast,--
That enjoying
Half-pay for life made mankind worth destroying.