_Celia_.--Here comes Monsieur Le Beau,
_Rosalind_.--With his mouth full of news.
AS YOU LIKE IT.
"You strike dreadful hard, Missa Gladding. If you can't write, I guess
you can make you mark," said the General, rubbing his shoulders.
"I was larned to do one, and t'other come natural," said Tom,
laughing; "but I didn't lay it on a bit too hard. You see I had to
bring him a pretty good polt, so as to lay him flat, else he might ha'
found it all out, the good-for-nothing son-of-a-gun, to go to sarve a
warrant on an old man, just for speaking his mind in meeting. I go
in for liberty. And then to insult you and me, Prime, by asking us
to help him! But I didn't mean to strike you, except in the way of
friendship."
"You friendship too smart for me, Missa Gladding, and s'pose I break
my neck in de fall, what you friendship good for den?"
"But you hain't broke nothing but your leg, and I see you've got
another rigged, and the half dollar Basset give you will more'n pay
for that; though, if I was you, I'd come down upon him in damages for
the loss--'twas in his sarvice--and then his digging his head right
into your stomach, when he come thundering into the boat, I call a
regular assault and battery."
"How you like you cold duck wid sea-weed saace, Missa Gladding?"
retorted Primus; and here the two united in peals of laughter.
"Cunning fellow, dat Basset," said Primus. "He kill two bird wid one
stone--knock me into de bottom ob de boat, and chuck you oberboard,
all at once." And the merriment was renewed.
"Do you think he has any suspicions, Prime!" said Tom.
"Dat question acquire some reflexum," answered the General. "Whedder
it was old Holden or de fisherman ghost dat gib him de strike on de
back?"
"No, I don't mean that. I mean whether he thought you or me had
anything to do with it."
"I guess not," said the General, doubtingly. "If sich an idee git into
his head, somebody will put it dere."
"Well, what did he say coming home?"
"Not much; dere he set in front, wid his back to me, rowing, and his
head all tie up wid my bandanna, and he seem sort o' snarl up, as if
he want a night's rest to take de kinks out ob him. He was not much
'cline to 'greeable conversashum. I feel kind o' sorry when I see him
so mellancholliky like."
"You needn't be so liberal with your sorry. The scamp desarves it all
and more, too. The cretur's cheated us out of half our fun." How I
should ha' liked to leave him, as we intended, alone with old Holden
on the island! The chicken-hearted booby would ha' half died o'
fright, and then 'twould ha' been worth nuts to see how he looked when
the old man caught him in the morning, and asked after his business."
"He nebber stay till dat time. He would hab swum 'cross de channel,
and run home."
"Well, he'd found out, then, how a fellow likes to be soused in the
water, as the blundering blunderbus did me, darn him."
"O, nebber bear no malice. I 'scuse Basset 'cause he don't know no
better, and you must forgib him."
"As to that, you needn't fret your gizzard. But how did you git home,
Prime, with your broken leg?"
"Dat is a secret atween me and Basset; but I didn't walk."
"Then, I vow," said Tom, bursting into a laugh, "he either trundled
you along in a wheelbarrow, like a load o' pumpkins, or else carried
you on his back."
"Nobody roll me in a wheelbarrow," said the General, drawing himself
up, and affecting to be offended.
"I would ha' given all my old shirts to see a darkey riding Basset,"
said Tom, whose merriment increased the more he dwelt on the idea.
"A colored pusson as light complexum as a white man in de dark,"
exclaimed Primus, grinning.
"Well, old Prime, you're the cleverest nigger I ever did see," said
Tom, slapping him on the back, and still laughing; "but take care you
don't feel too proud after your ride. Put a nigger on horseback, and
you know where he goes. But what have you got there?" he inquired,
seeing the General draw a paper out of his pocket.
"Dis paper fall out ob Missa Basset hat when de ghost strike him last
night, and I pick him up."
"Golly! if it ain't the warrant. Prime, you're the ace o' clubs. I'm
gladder of this than if I found a good dinner."
"Well, what shall I do wid him?"
"Why, man, burn it up; it's the constable's sword and gun, and
baggonit and cartridge-box; he can't do nothing without it; why,
without the warrant, he's just like a cat without claws. He daresn't
touch a man without a warrant."
"If Missa Basset trow de paper away, I 'spose he don't want him, and
he ain't good for noting, and nobody can find fault wid me for burning
up a little piece ob waste paper, just to kindle de fire," said
Primus, throwing the warrant into the flames, where it was immediately
consumed.
"There, we've drawn Basset's eye-teeth now," said Gladding. "Holden's
as safe as you or me. And, Prime," he added, rising, and, as he took
leave, making a peculiar gesture with the thumb of his right hand
touching the end of his nose, and his fingers twinkling in the air,
"you're too old a fox to need teaching, but it will do no harm to say
I advise you to keep as dark as your skin."
Such was the conversation that, on the morning after the adventure of
the island, took place at the cabin of Primus, and the reader will now
perfectly understand (if, indeed, he has not before discovered it) the
relation which the associates bore to the constable. Yet, there
was some difference in the feelings of the two: Gladding felt only
unmitigated contempt for Basset, while the good-nature of the negro
(proverbial of the race) infused some pity into the sentiment.
"Tom Gladding hab no manners," said Primus to himself, after the
departure of his friend. "It is bery onpleasant to hear sich pussonal
inflections. But, probumbly, arter he keep company wid me a little
longer, he larn better."
How it got out, nobody could tell. Tom and the General both declared
they had said nothing about it, and Basset was equally positive he had
not opened his mouth. It is, therefore, singular that, before twelve
o'clock the next day, rumors of the adventure had reached the ears of
more than one-half the inhabitants of Hillsdale. True, none were very
accurate, nor did any two agree; for, as is apt to happen, in such
cases, each one who told the story took care, most conscientiously,
it should lose nothing in the repetition. Hence, before noon, it was,
like most of our modern literature, "splendidly embellished."
It was not strange, then, that the doctor, in his morning round among
his patients and friends, should get some inkling of it. Divested of
ornaments, enough remained to satisfy him that an attempt to arrest
Holden had been made. For the cause, he was at first at a loss; for,
though he had heard of the disturbance at the conference, he hardly
supposed that an offence which he regarded as so venial, would
have drawn along such serious consequences. But when he heard that
generally assigned as the reason, having no words of his own to
express his astonishment, he was obliged to resort to his unfailing
treasury--
"'Can such things be,
And overcome us like a summer cloud,
Without our special wonder?'"
The quotation did not seem fully to answer the purpose, and he
added, "Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun: it shines
everywhere." This gave him relief. It acted more soothingly than
his own anodyne drops; and, having thus recovered his equanimity, he
determined to ascertain if the Armstrongs had heard the news.
He found Miss Armstrong at home, but not her father.
"You have heard the news, Faith, this morning. I suppose?" said the
doctor.
"No; we are not much like the Athenians. Neither my father nor myself
are accustomed to get the first edition. What is it, doctor?"
But the doctor did not relish being called, by the remotest
implication, an Athenian. As inquisitive as the most prying Yankee is
said to be, he stoutly repelled the imputation of inquisitiveness, as
applied to himself or to his countrymen. "It was," he was in the habit
of saying, "a slander invented by your porter-guzzling Englishmen and
smoking Dutchmen. What can you expect of people who are involved in
a perpetual cloud either of their own raising or of the making of
Providence? They are adapted to circumstances. It never was intended
they should have more than one idea a week; it would be too much for
their constitution; and therefore they ask no questions. No wonder,
then, they feel uncomfortable when they get into a clear climate,
where they can see the sun, and hear ideas buzzing about their ears
like a swarm of bees."
The doctor appeared to have forgotten his own question, and not to
have heard Miss Armstrong's.
"You are looking remarkably well," he said. "You ought to be ashamed
to meet me: if everybody else were like you, I should starve."
"All your own fault, dear doctor. Your presence brings cheerfulness
and health."
"To say nothing of the medicine. Of that (in confidence between us),
the less the better. If I should ever become crazy enough to prescribe
any other than bread pills, be sure to throw them out of the window.
There, you have the secret of medical success; though if I pursue the
system much longer, I think I shall be obliged to adopt the Emperor
of China's plan, and require a salary for your health, on condition it
shall stop when you are sick."
"I admire the Emperor's plan, so let it be understood that is the
arrangement between us. I have the best of the bargain, for I shall
secure a greater number of visits."
"You provoking creature! smothering me with compliments, and
pretending you are not dying with curiosity. This is always the way
with your tormenting sex:
'Let Hercules do what he may,
The cat will mew'"--
"And girls will have their way," interrupted Faith, laughing, and
finishing the quotation to suit herself. "But, doctor, you have
conquered, and please now 'unmuzzle your wisdom.'"
"Methinks," cried the doctor, "'sometimes I have no more wit than a
Christian or an ordinary man; but I am a great eater of beef, and
I believe that does harm to my wit,' else I should not allow you to
tease me. But," added he, in a more serious tone, "there is a report
in the village that an attempt has been made to arrest Holden."
"To arrest whom?" exclaimed Faith, turning pale, "father Holden! For
what?"
"He is not taken yet, and, were one to believe all the stories one
hears, not likely to be. According to them, his enchanted castle on
Salmon Island is protected, not only by his own stalwart arm, but by
legions of ghosts and hobgoblins; and, since that is the case, he
may safely defy the _posse comitatus_ itself, with the sheriff at its
head. But, for the cause--
"'It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul,
Let me not name it to you, ye chaste stars,
It is the cause'--
Why, because he made the most interesting speech at conference the
other evening."
Miss Armstrong, whom the jesting manner of the doctor somewhat
re-assured, begged him to give her all the information he had
obtained; but, throwing aside what he considered the embellishments of
fancy, it was no more than what he had already imparted.
"What would be the punishment for such an offence?" inquired Faith.
"I am more learned in pills than in points of law; but I suppose some
trifling fine."
"It would be of no great consequence, were it any one else," said
Faith; "but it would grieve me to have Mr. Holden subjected to an
indignity he would feel sensibly. It was through my father's and
my entreaties he attended the meeting, and if censure is to fall
anywhere, it ought to alight on us, and not on him, who certainly
supposed he was performing a duty, however much he might be mistaken.
Dear doctor, I shall trust in you to watch that no harm befalls him. I
should forever reproach myself as the cause, if any did."
"You may rely on me, my dear. It is not so much on account of the old
fellow, who richly deserves to be fined and shut up a week for
running about the country and frightening the children with his long
beard--why my horse started at it the other day--but because you take
an interest in him, and I am above all jealousy; therefore, command
me,
'Be't to fly,
To swim, to dive into the fire, to ride
On the curled clouds; to thy strong bidding task
Ariel and all his quality."
"My commands will not be so difficult to perform, I trust," said
Faith, smiling.
"Understand me metaphorically, parabolically, poetically," cried he,
taking leave.
After he was gone Miss Armstrong sat musing over what she had heard.
The idea that any annoyance should happen to the Solitary, growing
out of a circumstance with which she was in some manner connected,
distressed her exceedingly, and, dissatisfied with the meagre
statement of the doctor, she determined to go over to Judge Bernard's,
to try to procure more satisfactory information.
"He will, at least," she said, "be better acquainted with the law than
Doctor Elmer, and there is no favor he will refuse me."
But the Judge was unable to add anything of importance. He had heard
the same rumors, but could not vouch for their truth. With regard to
the issuing of a warrant for such a cause, he could not say but that
persons might be found malignant enough to get one out, and justices
of the peace foolish and ignorant enough to be made their instruments,
but if it came to the worst, the penalty could only be a fine, which
he would gladly pay himself.
"He cannot be imprisoned then?" inquired Miss Armstrong.
"No; they would not dare," he said, to himself in a tone so low
that Faith could catch only a word or two here and there, "send
him--disorderly--no settlement--no, no--too bad--might be done. No,
Faith," he said, "you need anticipate no serious trouble about your
_protégé_."
"Cannot we prevent his being arrested? It would mortify him
exceedingly."
"For that, perhaps, there is no remedy, but we will see. We are all
equally amenable to the laws. But after all, the thing may not be
noticed. These may be only rumors put out by some mischievous person
to keep Holden away from the village."
"They can have no such effect."
"No: and yet the rogue who invents them may think they will."
"I should not be at all anxious, Faith," said Anne. "Here are my
father, and yours, and my chivalrous brother, and--"
"And Mr. Thomas Pownal," said Faith, smiling, observing she hesitated.
"Yes, and Mr. Pownal; I am sure they would all be happy to spend a
great deal of breath and a little money in your service. They will
protect Father Holden. What are the gentlemen good for, if they cannot
grace a fair lady thus far?"
"And Mistress Anne, should they fail, would, like another Don Quixote,
with lance in rest, charge the enemy, and release the captive knight,
herself," said her father, pinching her cheek.
"Like Amadis de Gaul, father, and then would I present the captive of
my sword and lance to you, Faith, though what you would do with him I
do not know."
"Do not let us hear of swords and lances from you, Anne," said her
mother. "Thimbles and needles become you better."
"If I had been a man," exclaimed Anne, "and lived in the olden time,
how I would have gloried in such an adventure! You, Faith, should have
been the distressed damsel, I the valorous knight, and Father Holden a
captured seneschal. How would I have slashed around me, and how
would you have blushed, and hung about my neck, and kissed me, when I
appeared leading by the hand your venerable servitor!"
"What! what!" cried her father, "before the seneschal?"
"He would be so old he could not see, or, if he was not, tears of joy
would fill his eyes so that they would blind him," said Anne.
"An excellent idea, my dear," said Mrs. Bernard: "hand me my
knitting-work."
"What! a knight hand knitting-work?"
"Certainly," said her father. "It is a knight's business and delight,
to be employed in the service of the fair."
"Here is your knitting, mamma. I am an enchanted knight, changed
by some horrible incantation into a girl," said Anne, resuming her
needle.
"Worth twice all the preux chevaliers from Bayard down," said the
Judge, kissing her blooming cheek.
"Who is in great danger of being spoiled by the flattery of her fond
father," said Mrs. Bernard, smiling.
"Dear mother, how can you speak so of an enchanted knight?"
"I will crave your aid in the hour of peril, Sir Knight," said Faith,
rising. "Meantime, accept this kiss as guerdon for your good will."
"Or retainer," said the Judge.
Faith left her friends in better spirits than she had met them. The
assurances of Judge Bernard had relieved her mind of a weight of
anxiety. It was evident, she thought, from the manner in which the
subject was treated by the family, that they felt no apprehensions.
The gaiety of Anne, too, had not failed of its design. It was, indeed,
scarcely possible to be in the presence of this sweet girl without
feeling the charm which, like the sun, radiated light and happiness
about her. It was the overflow of an innocent and happy heart, and as
natural to her as light to the sun, or fragrance to the rose.
Faith found her father in the house on her return. She communicated to
him what she had heard, and asked his opinion. He knew, he said, that
while there were some--probably the majority--who, regarding Holden's
conduct as only an impropriety, would be disposed to overlook it;
there were others who would desire to have him punished, in order
to prevent a repetition of such scenes. "Such," said he, "are the
feelings of the world, but they are not mine. So far from deserving
censure, Holden is entitled to all honor and praise, for he spoke from
the inspiration of conviction. Nor, whatever may be the attempts to
injure him, will they succeed. As St. Paul shook the deadly viper from
his hand, so will this man rid himself of his enemies. There are more
with him than against him, and the shining ones are the stronger."
The confidence of her father harmonized so well with the hopes of
Faith, that it was easy to participate in it, nor in the excitement
which she felt, did his language seem other than proper for the
occasion.