Just outside stood the young girl, leaning against the frame; pale, and
with a hard, determined gaze, she looked abroad beyond the man at her
side into the empty air,--she _would_ not see him.
He recoiled at sight of her, then stood for one moment speechless before
her motionless figure. "Kitty!" he called, softly, in the anxious,
hesitating tone of one who seeks to arouse another from some heavy,
troubled dream.
She drew herself up to her full height, and slowly descended the steps.
"What do you wish, Doctor Bruck?" she asked, over her shoulder, when she
stood upon the grass below. She might have been some automaton, but for
the indignant light that flamed in her eyes.
He blushed like a girl, and approached her. "You heard--" he asked,
with hesitation, but with intense eagerness.
"Yes," she interrupted him, with a bitter smile, "every word. Another
reason why you should rid your house of intrusive strangers,--the walls
have ears." She moved away from the steps, as if to be quite clear of
the threshold she was no more to cross.
Meanwhile he had recovered himself; he threw his hat upon a garden-table
near, and stood erect before her, no longer blushing, but with an air of
relief, as if matters had taken a wished-for turn, and chance had come
to aid him. "Fear of being overheard has no part in what I have been
telling my aunt. This quiet home has no secrets, and those which one
must imprison in his own breast will not escape, even where the walls
have no ears," he said, with calm gravity. "You heard every word,--you
know, then, that only the desire for present rest induces me to ask for
undisturbed quiet. Unfortunately, I must resign any attempt to justify
my rude egotism. You certainly cannot conceive that there are those who
are perpetually fleeing from thoughts and--images; but perhaps you may
more easily imagine the angry pain, the torture of a man so fleeing,
who, hurrying exhausted to his home, finds there just what he seeks to
escape."
As he spoke, he had approached her more nearly, and she now looked him
keenly and inquiringly in the face. Yes, he was in earnest; he not only
described this torture, he felt it at this very moment; his strangely
disordered glance, the pallor that overspread his countenance, left her
no room to doubt it; but--he did not flee from his future wife, or from
the innocent children; and none others frequented his room, except
herself. It was really true, then, as she had frequently told herself,
that she had become utterly distasteful to him since she had several
times been the witness of scenes between himself and Flora; he did not
wish to see her in his house, and he had begged his aunt to put a stop
to her afternoon classes, that her further intercourse there might
cease. As this conviction crept over her, her lovely features lost
their usual mobility, and their expression grew stern and hard.
"There is no reason why you should justify your proceeding; you are
master here,--that suffices," she replied, icily. "But what an unbounded
esteem you must entertain for the Baroness Steiner, since you sacrifice
your coveted repose to her, and wish to receive her spoiled grandchild
and his governess beneath your roof!" It was a harsh reproof to come
from girlish lips which were wont to be frank and outspoken, but which
had never hitherto uttered words to show how sharp and cutting the
clear, bell-like voice could be. "No, no; do not speak!" she cried,
with sudden passion, as he opened his lips to reply. "I would not have
you stoop to frame a false excuse for courtesy's sake, and say what you
do not think. I know too well what motives influence you!" She
evidently struggled to keep down angry tears. "I have most
inopportunely crossed your path on several occasions, and entirely
understand the irritation with which you exclaimed, a moment ago,
'Always that girl!' I cannot forgive myself for my awkwardness,
although upon one occasion only did I wilfully interfere. But you judge
me still more harshly,--you persecute me in consequence."
Doctor Bruck did not contradict her, but it seemed as though he had a
struggle to resist the temptation to speak. He looked down upon her with
eyes full of an inexplicable expression, and his right hand leaning upon
the garden-table was tightly clenched. As he stood thus, every
lineament of his handsome face showed the strength and resolution that
would to the last resist being forced to an explanation.
"It cost me much to return hither," she began again. "The Frau
President"--she pointed towards the Villa Baumgarten--"poisoned my
childhood with her pride of rank whenever it was in her power to do so,
and I can never forget the bitter tears which her perpetual insolence
wrung from my poor Lukas. You know how, upon my arrival, I shrank from
meeting my clever sister Flora, and how, in sight of the villa, I longed
to turn back and flee to my Dresden home. Would that I had done so! In
addition to pride of rank and of office, the arrogance of wealth is now
rampant in the villa. In that air, filled with pretence and gold-dust,
no healthy thought or feeling can survive. By my very nature I am
incapable of striking root in such a soil; but here,"--she extended her
arms towards the house and garden,--"here I was at home; here I could
even have forgotten my dear Dresden; why,--I do not know myself!"
How lovely she was, standing there in spotless white, thoughtfully
inclining her head with its crown of heavy braids! "I think your dear
old aunt has cast a spell upon me," she added, with a bright look; "the
simple, noble beauty of her character helps me to a true balance of
mind; she goes her way calmly, noiselessly, and never yields one iota of
what she holds to be just and right, although no word of contradiction
or self-assertion ever passes her lips. It is refreshing indeed, in
contrast with such unjustifiable pretensions, such deceitful
appearances, and--yes, such pitiable weakness assailing even the strong
masculine intellect." She tossed contemptuously aside a spray of
blossoms with which she had been toying as she spoke.
The gesture evidently irritated the man who stood before her. A gloomy
fire shone in his eyes; he understood her. "You have forgotten to
enumerate one virtue possessed by my 'dear old aunt,'--caution and
gentleness in judgment," he said, reprovingly. "She never would have
uttered such condemning words as those you have just spoken, for she
knows how easily we may be mistaken, and that often--as, indeed, in the
case to which you so evidently allude--what looks like weakness demands
every possible exertion of strength." He spoke with exceeding
earnestness; the calm demeanour, which had never forsaken him even when
there had been such wonderful and sudden changes in his career, had
vanished entirely.
In her first surprise, Kitty's eyelashes drooped upon her hot cheeks,
but she felt that she was right: he was utterly weak towards himself in
his love, as in his dislike. Had she not had proof of the latter?
At this moment the children in their play came running round the corner
of the house. As soon as they saw Kitty they rushed to greet her,
shouting with joy. They paid no heed to the doctor's stern face, and in
a second the young girl was surrounded and almost overborne by the merry
throng, in their eagerness for some kind word or caress from their "dear
Fraeulein."
In spite of her agitation, Kitty almost laughed outright, for the wild
onslaught of the children in their affection fairly made her stagger;
but the doctor became more angry than she had ever before seen him. He
harshly reprimanded the little ones, and ordered them to return behind
the house and stay there until they were dismissed.
Confused and frightened, the children retired.
Kitty looked after them compassionately until they had all disappeared.
"I should like to go with them to comfort them, but I cannot again seek
the spot which I have left forever," she said, half in pain, half in
anger.
"'Comfort!'" the doctor rejoined, almost derisively. "Confess that you
would now like to stamp me monster as well as weakling. Be consoled:
children carry their comfort with them, their smiles and tears are
closely akin. Do you not hear them laughing already?" And he pointed
over his shoulder with a fleeting smile. "I'll wager their merriment is
at my expense. I sent them off on your account; I could not endure----
How could you bear such an attack? They are uncouth, rude----"
"Because they are fond of me? Thank God that it is so! There at least I
may still have faith!" she cried, pressing her clasped hands to her
bosom. "Or would you perhaps persuade me that this exhibition of
affection is also due solely to my money? Oh, no, here I stand firm; I
will not be defrauded of this satisfaction, rely upon it!"
He recoiled in amazement. "What strange idea has----"
"Ah! is it really so surprising that at last I have been aroused from
the state of childish confidence in which I have lived, imagining that
true honest feeling was worth something in this world? It has taken a
long time, has it not, to induce my clumsy German comprehension to open
its eyes and see how unspeakably ludicrous were all its old-fashioned
ideas of right and wrong, truth and falsehood?" She grew pale and
shuddered. "There is something horrible in the sudden conviction that
one has no existence as a genuine human creature, with a right to be
happy after one's own fashion."
He turned away his eyes, and she continued: "At our first meeting you
asked me how I liked my sudden accession to wealth; now for the first
time I am able to answer your question. I seem drowning in this ocean
of money; many hold out a hand to me, to be sure, to rescue me, not for
my own sake, but for the golden waves that surround me."
The doctor interrupted her. "In heaven's name, what induces you to take
such a view of your life?"
"Can you ask? Am I not forced to accept this view with every draught of
air that I inhale, every drop of water that I drink? In my dear Dresden
home I am cajoled as the 'heiress,' my teachers exalt the faint spark of
musical talent which I possess for the sake of the high price I pay for
my lessons, and the guardian wooes his ward because he knows better than
any one else--how rich she is."
As she spoke, her gaze had wandered aimlessly over the distant hills;
now she looked at the doctor; he started as if from an electric shock.
"Has it gone so far?" he stammered, passing his hand over his eyes as if
overcome by dizziness. "And you of course are pained to think that such
thoughts should influence Moritz," he added, after a moment's pause.
She listened in wonder, his voice sounded so faint and broken. "It
wounds me still more deeply that every one seems to feel justified in
having a voice in the matter," she replied, as, standing erect, she
looked the personification of a protest against unwarranted assumption
of authority. Then, shaking her head gravely, she continued: "Such an
unfortunate heiress as I must be on her guard lest she become a pitiable
plaything in the hands of egotism; and this I will not be, absolutely
will not. And you, Herr Doctor,--you too are one of those who think
that an orphan girl should submit herself, her will, her goings and her
comings, to the convenience of others. Here you would exile me, there
you would fetter me to the spot. I should like to know what justifies
you in this despotism, or--no"--her lips quivered in the struggle to
keep back the tears,--"I would ask, with Henriette, 'What have I done to
you?'"
The last passionate words died upon her lips: the doctor grasped her
wrist with fingers that were like cold iron.
"Not a word more, Kitty," he said, in a whisper that terrified her.
"Did I not know that there is not in your nature a trace of falsehood, I
could not but believe that you had devised this torture to wring from me
a secret which has been strictly guarded,"--he dropped her hand,--"but I
too say, this shall not be, absolutely shall not!"
He folded his arms, and walked away for a few paces as if to go towards
the house, but suddenly, turning, he said, "I should like to know how I
would fetter you to the villa." His tone was calmer, and he came again
and stood before her.
Kitty blushed crimson; for one instant maidenly timidity delayed her
reply, then she answered, firmly, "You wish me to be--mistress of Villa
Baumgarten----"
"I?--I?" He laughed again the hard, scornful laugh that had startled
Kitty awhile before in his conversation with his aunt. "And upon what
do you base this accusation? Why should I wish to see you mistress of
Villa Baumgarten?" he asked, controlling himself with difficulty.
"Because, as Flora says, you would not have Henriette left alone," she
replied, with frank decision, born of a determination to leave no point
unexplained. "You see how fond I am of my poor invalid sister, how
gladly I undertake the care of her, and you would like to have her
future home and comfort secured by my becoming--the wife of the
councillor."
"And you believe me to be at the head of this family scheme? You
seriously believe this? Have you forgotten how I protested long ago
against your sacrificing yourself and remaining longer in Roemer's
house?"
"Since then much has been changed," she replied, bitterly. "In
September you will leave M---- forever; it will then be a matter of
indifference to you who rules in the villa; your comfort will no longer
be disturbed by an unsympathetic presence there----"
"Kitty!" he gasped.
"Herr Doctor?" She calmly met, with head proudly erect, his glance of
fire. "The excellence of such an arrangement is plain, and no one who
was not as dull of comprehension as myself could have been blind to it
for so long," she added, with apparent composure, and with a gravity of
tone and manner that seemed to come of suddenly-added years of knowledge
and experience. "Then no strange element would intrude upon the family
circle; every domestic arrangement could remain as it is; the habits of
all in the villa, as well as in the tower, need not be disturbed;
nothing, not even my iron safe in Moritz's 'treasure-chamber,' would
have to be moved from its place. Oh, it is all so sensibly
contrived----"
"And is so natural, that you have not hesitated for a moment to remain,"
he completed her sentence, breathing quickly, and with a look which in
its impatience seemed to chide the lips that delayed confirmation of his
words.
"No, Herr Doctor, you exult too soon," she cried, with a kind of triumph
in her tone. "The obstinate heiress refuses to be led in chains. I am
going, going this very day. I came here only to take my leave of your
aunt, and should have laughed at your decree of exile awhile ago, if it
had not pained me. My sisters have at length opened my blinded eyes,
and revealed to me in a dazzling vista the 'happiness' to which I have
been destined. At the moment of revelation I felt as if there were but
one path open to me from the Frau President's drawing-room,--the road
leading directly to the railroad depot,--and I should have pursued it
immediately, had I not remembered the duties here which I had undertaken
to fulfil. I am not going to stay away longer than will suffice to
convince Moritz that he can never be more to me than my legal guardian,
and that he arouses my dislike as soon as he attempts to assume any tone
towards me except that of a fatherly friend and adviser."
She drew a long sigh of relief, and, although she had crimsoned to the
roots of her hair with maidenly shame at speaking such words, it was
easy to see that she was now fully determined that all should be plain
and clear between herself and the man who, as she spoke, seemed to
become more erect and elastic in form, as if some oppressive weight were
suddenly removed from his shoulders.
"Since the day when Henriette was carried fainting into your house, a
strong tie has been formed between the Frau Dean and my poor sister,"
Kitty continued, more quickly, "and I can go away with an easy mind,
leaving Henriette to your aunt's care. I wished to bespeak her kind
services in this matter, and came hither for that purpose. I shall now
write to her from Dresden, for you must be aware that she whom you have
banished from your house will never again intrude upon your domain."
With these words she turned to go. "Good-bye, Doctor Bruck!" she said,
with a slight inclination, and walked towards the bridge. As she
reached the poplars that grew on the other side of the river, she turned
once more to take a last look at the dear old house. Around the corner
the children were peeping curiously, but the doctor still stood by the
garden-table, both hands resting upon the top, and leaning heavily
forward, while his face, which was ashy pale, was turned to her with a
wild expression of despair.
Oh, mystery of a girl's heart! Without thinking what she did, she flew
back across the bridge, over the path she had thought never to tread
again,--she would have traversed the world to come to his aid.
"Ah, you are ill!" she stammered, laying her warm supple hands anxiously
upon his own.
"No, not ill, Kitty, only what you declared me to be a while ago,
although in a different sense,--a pitiable weakling!" he replied,
impatiently, shaking back a lock of hair that had fallen over his brow.
"Go, go! can you not see that in my present condition every word of
sympathy, every kind look, is like a dagger-thrust?" he cried, harshly,
while quick as thought he stooped and pressed his lips for one instant
passionately upon the white hand that lay upon his own.
Startled though she was, for a moment Kitty's heart throbbed fast and
loud with an indescribable sensation of happy tenderness, and the words
hovered upon her lips, "No, I will not go,--you need me." But at the
same moment he stood erect before her, mute and pale, and pointed
commandingly towards the bridge. She turned once more, and fled as
though the angel with the flaming sword stood by his side.
A few hours later she noiselessly descended a back staircase in the
villa, her travelling-bag in her hand. She went as she had come,
suddenly, unexpectedly. Henriette, although shocked and distressed at
her departure, had acquiesced in her remaining away for a time, since
Flora's thoughtlessness had made such mischief. She consented that
Kitty should leave thus privately, and write what she thought best to
say from Dresden, she herself engaging to inform the household of her
departure. One condition she strictly exacted, however, and that was,
that Kitty should instantly return whenever her invalid sister needed
her support and care.
Henriette stood at the top of the staircase with arms extended in
farewell, while Kitty drew her veil down over her swollen eyelids.
Every hall and passage of the house was bathed in light, and carriage
after carriage rolled up to the door. For a moment Kitty was obliged to
take refuge in a side-corridor, whence she saw ladies in full dress
rustle by to the drawing-room. Footmen threw open the folding-doors,
and, within, Flora appeared in light-blue silk and white lace, beautiful
and gracious as a princess, to receive the guests assembled in her
honour. The councillor was celebrating her birthday by a large ball.
As she looked, Kitty's heart ached to breaking. There stood her haughty
sister, the favorite of fortune that dogged her footsteps although she
had thrust it from her, and here cowered hopelessness like crime. Why
should every gift of heaven, all the wealth of love, be heaped upon this
one head,--that did not prize them,--while a weary life of
self-sacrifice lay before the other sister in the midst of her hoarded
gold?
The doors were closed, and Kitty hurried out into the park, filled with
such despair as alone can assail a young and ardent nature; and while
the maid awaited her in her room to dress her for the soiree, she was
knocking at the door of the mill to request Franz to accompany her to
the railroad depot.