MRS. H. It really was.
CAPT. G. Anything about it, I mean.
MRS. H. What has upset you today? All these days? You haven't been near
me for four whole days--nearly one hundred hours. Was it kind of you,
Pip? And I've been looking forward so much to your coming.
CAPT. G. Have you?
MRS. H. You know I have! I've been as foolish as a schoolgirl about it.
I made a little calendar and put it in my card-case, and every time the
twelve o'clock gun went off I scratched out a square and said: “That
brings me nearer to Pip. My Pip!”
CAPT. G. (With an uneasy laugh). What will Mackler think if you neglect
him so?
MRS. H. And it hasn't brought you nearer. You seem farther away than
ever. Are you sulking about something? I know your temper.
CAPT. G. No.
MRS. H. Have I grown old in' the last few months, then? (Reaches forward
to bank of flowers for menu-card.)
PARTNER ON LEFT. Allow me. (Hands menu-card. MRS. H. keeps her arm at
full stretch for three seconds.)
MRS. H. (To partner.) Oh, thanks. I didn't see. (Turns right again.) Is
anything in me changed at all?
CAPT. G. For Goodness's sake go on with your dinner! You must eat
something. Try one of those cutlet arrangements. (Aside.) And I fancied
she had good shoulders, once upon a time! What an ass a man can make of
himself!
MRS. H. (Helping herself to a paper frill, seven peas, some stamped
carrots and a spoonful of gravy.) That isn't an answer. Tell me whether
I have done anything.
CAPT. G. (Aside.) If it isn't ended here there will be a ghastly scene
somewhere else. If only I'd written to her and stood the racket--at long
range! (To Khitmatgar.) Han! Simpkin do. (Aloud.) I'll tell you later
on.
MRS. H. Tell me now. It must be some foolish misunderstanding, and you
know that there was to be nothing of that sort between us. We, of all
people in the world, can't afford it. Is it the Vaynor man, and don't
you like to say so? On my honor--
CAPT. G. I haven't given the Vaynor man a thought.
MRS. H. But how d'you know that I haven't?
CAPT. G. (Aside.) Here's my chance and may the Devil help me through
with it. (Aloud and measuredly.) Believe me, I do not care how often or
how tenderly you think of the Vaynor man.
MRS. H. I wonder if you mean that! Oh, what is the good of squabbling
and pretending to misunderstand when you are only up for so short a
time? Pip, don't be a stupid!
Follows a pause, during which he crosses his left leg over his right and
continues his dinner.
CAPT. G. (In answer to the thunderstorm in her eyes.) Corns--my worst.
MRS. H. Upon my word, you are the very rudest man in the world! I'll
never do it again.
CAPT. G. (Aside.) No, I don't think you will; but I wonder what you will
do before it's all over. (To Khitmatgar.) Thorah ur Simpkin do.
MRS. H. Well! Haven't you the grace to apologize, bad man?
CAPT. G. (Aside.) I mustn't let it drift back now. Trust a woman for
being as blind as a bat when she won't see.
MRS. H. I'm waiting; or would you like me to dictate a form of apology?
CAPT. G. (Desperately.) By all means dictate.
MRS. H. (Lightly.) Very well. Rehearse your several Christian names
after me and go on: “Profess my sincere repentance.”
CAPT. G. “Sincere repentance.”