THE COUP DE GRACE.
In the long watches of the winter night, when one has awoke from some
evil dream, and lies sleepless and terrified with the solemn pall of
darkness around one--on one of those deadly, still dark nights, when the
window only shows a murky patch of positive gloom in contrast with the
nothingness of the walls, when the howling of a tempest round chimney
and roof would be welcomed as a boisterous companion--in such still dead
times only, lying as in the silence of the tomb, one realises that some
day we shall lie in that bed and not think at all: that the time will
come soon when we must die.
Our preachers remind us of this often enough, but we cannot realise it
in a pew in broad daylight. You must wake in the middle of the night to
do that, and face the thought like a man, that it will come, and come to
ninety-nine in a hundred of us, not in a maddening clatter of musquetry
as the day is won; or in carrying a line to a stranded ship, or in such
like glorious times, when the soul is in mastery over the body, but in
bed, by slow degrees. It is in darkness and silence only that we realise
this; and then let us hope that we humbly remember that death has been
conquered for us, and that in spite of our unworthiness we may defy him.
And after that sometimes will come the thought, "Are there no evils
worse even than death?"
I have made these few remarks (I have made very few in this story, for I
want to suggest thought, not to supply it ready-made) because Charles
Ravenshoe has said to me in his wild way, that he did not fear death,
for he had died once already.
I did not say anything, but waited for him to go on.
"For what," he continued, "do you make out death even at the worst? A
terror, then a pang, more or less severe; then a total severance of all
ties on earth, an entire and permanent loss of everything one has loved.
After that, remorse, and useless regret, and the horrible torture of
missed opportunities without number thrust continually before one. The
monotonous song of the fiends, 'Too late! too late!' I have suffered all
these things! I have known what very few men have known, and
lived--despair; but perhaps the most terrible agony for a time was the
feeling of _loss of identity_--that I was not myself; that my whole
existence from babyhood had been a lie. This at times, at times only,
mind you, washed away from me the only spar to which I could cling--the
feeling that I was a gentleman. When the deluge came, that was the only
creed I had, and I was left alone as it were on the midnight ocean, out
of sight of land, swimming with failing strength."
I have made Charles speak for himself. In this I know that I am right.
Now we must go on with him through the gathering darkness without
flinching; in terror, perhaps, but not in despair as yet.
It never for one moment entered into his head to doubt the truth of what
Father Mackworth had set up. If he had had doubts even to the last, he
had none after Mackworth had looked him compassionately in the face, and
said, "God judge between us if this paper be not true!" Though he
distrusted Mackworth, he felt that no man, be he never so profound an
actor, could have looked so and spoken so if he were not telling what he
believed to be the truth. And that he and Norah were mistaken he justly
felt to be an impossibility. No. He was the child of Petre Ravenshoe's
bastard son by an Irish peasant girl. He who but half an hour before had
been heir to the proud old name, to the noble old house, the pride of
the west country, to hundreds of acres of rolling woodland, to mile
beyond mile of sweeping moorland, to twenty thriving farms, deep in
happy valleys, or perched high up on the side of lofty downs, was now
just this--a peasant, an impostor.
The tenantry, the fishermen, the servants, they would come to know all
this. Had he died (ah! how much better than this), they would have
mourned for him, but what would they say or think now? That he, the
patron, the intercessor, the condescending young prince, should be the
child of a waiting-woman and a gamekeeper. Ah! mother, mother, God
forgive you!
Adelaide: what would she think of this? He determined that he must go
and see her, and tell her the whole miserable story. She was ambitious,
but she loved him. Oh yes, she loved him. She could wait. There were
lands beyond the sea, where a man could win a fortune in a few years,
perhaps in one. There were Canada, and Australia, and India, where a man
needed nothing but energy. He never would take one farthing from the
Ravenshoes, save the twenty pounds he had. That was a determination
nothing could alter. But why need he? There was gold to be won, and
forest to be cleared, in happier lands.
Alas, poor Charles! He has never yet set foot out of England, and
perhaps never will. He never thought seriously about it but this once.
He never had it put before him strongly by any one. Men only emigrate
from idleness, restlessness, or necessity; with the two first of these
he was not troubled, and the last had not come yet. It would, perhaps,
have been better for him to have gone to the backwoods or the diggings;
but, as he says, the reason why he didn't was that he didn't. But at
this sad crisis of his life it gave him comfort for a little to think
about; only for a little, then thought and terror came sweeping back
again.
Lord Saltire? He would be told of this by others. It would be Charles's
duty not to see Lord Saltire again. With his present position in
society, as a servant's son, there was nothing to prevent his asking
Lord Saltire to provide for him, except--what was it? Pride? Well,
hardly pride. He was humble enough, God knows; but he felt as if he had
gained his goodwill, as it were, by false pretences, and that duty would
forbid his presuming on that goodwill any longer. And would Lord Saltire
be the same to a lady's-maid's son, as he would to the heir presumptive
of Ravenshoe? No; there must be no humiliation before those stern grey
eyes. Now he began to see that he loved the owner of those eyes more
deeply than he had thought; and there was a gleam of pleasure in
thinking that, when Lord Saltire heard of his fighting bravely
unassisted with the world, he would say, "That lad was a brave fellow; a
gentleman after all."
Marston? Would this terrible business, which was so new and terrible as
to be as yet only half appreciated--would it make any difference to him?
Perhaps it might. But, whether or no he would humble himself there, and
take from him just reproaches for idleness and missed opportunities,
however bitter they might be.
And Mary? Poor little Mary! Ah! she would be safe with that good Lady
Hainault. That was all. Ah, Charles! what pale little sprite was that
outside your door now, listening, dry-eyed, terrified, till you should
move? Who saw you come up with your hands clutched in your hair, like a
madman, an hour ago, and heard you throw yourself upon the floor, and
has waited patiently ever since to see if she could comfort you, were it
never so little? Ah, Charles! Foolish fellow!
Thinking, thinking--now with anger, now with tears, and now with
terror--till his head was hot and his hands dry, his thoughts began to
run into one channel. He saw that action was necessary, and he came to a
great and noble resolution, worthy of himself. All the world was on one
side, and he alone on the other. He would meet the world humbly and
bravely, and conquer it. He would begin at the beginning, and find his
own value in the world, and then, if he found himself worthy, would
claim once more the love and respect of those who had been his friends
hitherto.
How he would begin he knew not, nor cared, but it must be from the
beginning. And, when he had come to this resolution, he rose up and
faced the light of day once more.
There was a still figure sitting in his chair, watching him. It was
William.
"William! How long have you been here?"
"Nigh on an hour. I came in just after you, and you have been lying on
the hearthrug ever since, moaning."
"An hour? Is it only an hour?"
"A short hour."
"It seemed like a year. Why, it is not dark yet. The sun still shines,
does it?"
He went to the window and looked out. "Spring," he said, "early spring.
Fifty more of them between me and rest most likely. Do I look older,
William?"
"You look pale and wild, but not older. I am mazed and stunned. I want
you to look like yourself and help me, Charles. We must get away
together out of this house."
"You must stay here, William; you are heir to the name and the house.
You must stay here and learn your duty; I must go forth and dree my
weary weird alone."
"You must go forth, I know; but I must go with you."
"William, that is impossible."
"To the world's end, Charles; I swear it by the holy Mother of God."
"Hush! You don't know what you are saying. Think of your duties."
"I know my duty. My duty is with you."
"William, look at the matter in another point of view. Will Cuthbert let
you come with me?"
"I don't care. I am coming."
William was sitting where he had been in Charles's chair, and Charles
was standing beside him. If William had been looking at Charles, he
would have seen a troubled thoughtful expression on his face for one
moment, followed by a sudden look of determination. He laid his hand on
William's shoulder, and said--
"We must talk this over again. I _must_ go to Ranford and see Adelaide
at once, before this news gets there from other mouths. Will you meet me
at the old hotel in Covent Garden, four days from this time?"
"Why there?" said William. "Why not at Henley?"
"Why not at London, rather?" replied Charles. "I must go to London. I
mean to go to London. I don't want to delay about Ranford. No; say
London."
William looked in his face for a moment, and then said,--
"I'd rather travel with you. You can leave me at Wargrave, which is only
just over the water from Ranford, or at Didcot, while you go on to
Ranford. You must let me do that, Charles."
"We will do that, William, if you like."
"Yes, yes!" said William. "It must be so. Now you must come downstairs."
"Why?"
"To eat. Dinner is ready. I am going to tea in the servant's hall."
"Will Mary be at dinner, William?"
"Of course she will."
"Will you let me go for the last time? I should like to see the dear
little face again. Only this once."
"Charles! Don't talk like that. All that this house contains is yours,
and will be as long as Cuthbert and I are here. Of course you must go.
This must not get out for a long while yet--we must keep up
appearances."
So Charles went down into the drawing-room. It was nearly dark; and at
first he thought there was no one there, but, as he advanced towards the
fireplace, he made out a tall, dark figure, and saw that it was
Mackworth.
"I am come, sir," he said, "to dinner in the old room for the last time
for ever."
"God forbid!" said Mackworth. "Sir, you have behaved like a brave man
to-day, and I earnestly hope that, as long as I stay in this house, you
will be its honoured guest. It would be simply nonsensical to make any
excuses to you for the part I have taken. Even if you had not
systematically opposed your interest to mine in this house, I had no
other course open. You must see that."
"I believe I owe you my thanks for your forbearance so long," said
Charles; "though that was for the sake of my father more than myself.
Will you tell me, sir, now we are alone, how long have you known this?"
"Nearly eighteen months," said Father Mackworth, promptly.
Mackworth was not an ill-natured man when he was not opposed, and, being
a brave man himself, could well appreciate bravery in others. He had
knowledge enough of men to know that the revelation of to-day had been
as bitter a blow to a passionate, sensitive man like Charles, as he
could well endure and live. And he knew that Charles distrusted him, and
that all out-of-the-way expressions of condolence would be thrown away;
and so, departing from his usual rule of conduct, he spoke for once in a
way naturally and sincerely, and said: "I am very, very sorry. I would
have done much to avoid this."
Then Mary came in and the Tiernays. Cuthbert did not come down. There
was a long, dull dinner, at which Charles forced himself to eat, having
a resolution before him. Mary sat scared at the head of the table, and
scarcely spoke a word, and, when she rose to go into the drawing-room
again, Charles followed her.
She saw that he was coming, and waited for him in the hall. When he shut
the dining-room door after him she ran back, and putting her two hands
on his shoulders, said--
"Charles! Charles! what is the matter?"
"Nothing, dear; only I have lost my fortune; I am penniless."
"Is it all gone, Charles?"
"All. You will hear how, soon. I just come out to wish my bird good-bye.
I am going to London to-morrow."
"Can't you come and talk to me, Charles, a little?"
"No; not to-night. Not to-night."
"You will come to see me at Lady Hainault's in town, Charles?"
"Yes, my love; yes."
"Won't you tell me any more, Charles?"
"No more, my robin. It is good-bye. You will hear all about it soon
enough."
"Good-bye."
A kiss, and he was gone up the old staircase towards his own room. When
he gained the first landing he turned and looked at her once more,
standing alone in the centre of the old hall in the light of a solitary
lamp. A lonely, beautiful little figure, with her arms drooping at her
sides, and the quiet, dark eyes turned towards him, so lovingly! And
there, in his ruin and desolation, he began to see, for the first time,
what others, keener-eyed, had seen long ago. Something that might have
been, but could not be now! And so, saying, "I must not see her again,"
he went up to his own room, and shut the door on his misery.
Once again he was seen that night. William invaded the still-room, and
got some coffee, which he carried up to him. He found him packing his
portmanteau, and he asked William to see to this and to that for him, if
he should sleep too long. William made him sit down and take coffee and
smoke a cigar, and sat on the footstool at his feet, before the fire,
complaining of cold. They sat an hour or two, smoking, talking of old
times, of horses and dogs, and birds and trout, as lads do, till Charles
said he would go to bed, and William left him.
He had hardly got to the end of the passage, when Charles called him
back, and he came.
"I want to look at you again," said Charles; and he put his two hands on
William's shoulders, and looked at him again. Then he said, "Good
night," and went in.
William went slowly away, and, passing to a lower storey, came to the
door of a room immediately over the main entrance, above the hall. This
room was in the turret above the porch. It was Cuthbert's room.
He knocked softly, and there was no answer; again, and louder. A voice
cried querulously, "Come in," and he opened the door.
Cuthbert was sitting before the fire with a lamp beside him and a book
on his knee. He looked up and saw a groom before him, and said,
angrily--
"I can give no orders to-night. I will not be disturbed to-night."
"It is me, sir," said William.
Cuthbert rose at once. "Come here, brother," he said, "and let me look
at you. They told me just now that you were with our brother Charles."
"I stayed with him till he went to bed, and then I came to you."
"How is he?"
"Very quiet--too quiet."
"Is he going away?"
"He is going in the morning."
"You must go with him, William," said Cuthbert, eagerly.
"I came to tell you that I must go with him, and to ask you for some
money."
"God bless you. Don't leave him. Write to me every day. Watch and see
what he is inclined to settle to, and then let me know. You must get
some education too. You will get it with him as well as anywhere. He
must be our first care."
William said yes. He must be their first care. He had suffered a
terrible wrong.
"We must get to be as brothers to one another, William," said Cuthbert.
"That will come in time. We have one great object in common--Charles;
and that will bring us together. The time was, when I was a fool, that I
thought of being a saint, without human affections. I am wiser now.
People near death see many things which are hidden in health and youth."
"Near death, Cuthbert!" said William, calling him so for the first time.
"I shall live, please God, to take your children on my knee."
"It is right that you should know, brother, that in a few short years
you will be master of Ravenshoe. My heart is gone. I have had an attack
to-night."
"But people who are ill don't always die," said William. "Holy Virgin!
you must not go and leave me all abroad in the world like a lost sheep."
"I like to hear you speak like that, William. Two days ago, I was moving
heaven and earth to rob you of your just inheritance."
"I like you the better for that. Never think of that again. Does
Mackworth know of your illness?"
"He knows everything."
"If Charles had been a Catholic, would he have concealed this?"
"No; I think not. I offered him ten thousand pounds to hush it up."
"I wish he had taken it. I don't want to be a great man. I should have
been far happier as it was. I was half a gentleman, and had everything I
wanted. Shall you oppose my marrying when Charles is settled?"
"You must marry, brother. I can never marry, and would not if I could.
You must marry, certainly. The estate is a little involved; but we can
soon bring it right. Till you marry, you must be contented with four
hundred a year."
William laughed. "I will be content and obedient enough, I warrant you.
But, when I speak of marrying, I mean marrying my present sweetheart."
Cuthbert looked up suddenly. "I did not think of that. Who is she?"
"Master Evans's daughter, Jane."
"A fisherman's daughter," said Cuthbert. "William, the mistress of
Ravenshoe ought to be a lady."
"The master of Ravenshoe ought to be a gentleman," was William's reply.
"And, after your death (which I don't believe in, mind you), he won't
be. The master of Ravenshoe then will be only a groom; and what sort of
a fine lady would he buy with his money, think you? A woman who would
despise him and be ashamed of him. No, by St. George and the dragon, I
will marry my old sweetheart or be single!"
"Perhaps you are right, William," said Cuthbert; "and, if you are not, I
am not one who has a right to speak about it. Let us in future be honest
and straightforward, and have no more miserable _esclandres_, in God's
name. What sort of a girl is she?"
"She is handsome enough for a duchess, and she is very quiet and shy."
"All the better. I shall offer not the slightest opposition. She had
better know what is in store for her."
"She shall; and the blessing of all the holy saints be on you! I must go
now. I must be up at dawn."
"Don't go yet, William. Think of the long night that is before me. Sit
with me, and let me get used to your voice. Tell me about the horses, or
anything--only don't leave me alone yet."
William sat down with him. They sat long and late. When at last William
rose to go, Cuthbert said--
"You will make a good landlord, William. You have been always a patient,
faithful servant, and you will make a good master. Our people will get
to love you better than ever they would have loved me. Cling to the old
faith. It has served us well so many hundred years. It seems as if God
willed that Ravenshoe should not pass from the hands of the faithful.
And now, one thing more; I must see Charles before he goes. When you go
to wake him in the morning, call me, and I will go with you. Good
night!"
In the morning they went up together to wake him. His window was open,
and the fresh spring air was blowing in. His books, his clothes, his
guns and rods, were piled about in their usual confusion. His dog was
lying on the hearthrug, and stretched himself as he came to greet them.
The dog had a glove at his feet, and they wondered at it. The curtains
of his bed were drawn close. Cuthbert went softly to them and drew them
aside. He was not there. The bed was smooth.
"Gone! gone!" cried Cuthbert. "I half feared it. Fly, William, for God's
sake, to Lord Ascot's, to Ranford; catch him there, and never leave him
again. Come, and get some money, and begone. You may be in time. If we
should lose him after all--after all!"
William needed no second bidding. In an hour he was at Stonnington. Mr.
Charles Ravenshoe had arrived there at daybreak, and had gone on in the
coach which started at eight. William posted to Exeter, and at eleven
o'clock in the evening saw Lady Ascot at Ranford. Charles Ravenshoe had
been there that afternoon, but was gone. And then Lady Ascot, weeping
wildly, told him such news as made him break from the room with an oath,
and dash through the scared servants in the hall and out into the
darkness, to try to overtake the carriage he had discharged, and reach
London.
The morning before, Adelaide had eloped with Lord Welter.