HOW MR. JINKS REQUESTED RALPH TO HOLD HIM.
Our last view of Mr. Jinks was at Bousch's tavern, when, mounting in a
manner peculiar to himself behind Ralph, the warlike gentleman set out
to take revenge.
He had ridden thus almost to the Bower of Nature; but on reaching the
belt of willows at the foot of the hill, requested to be placed upon
the earth, in order to make his toilet, to prepare himself for the
coming interview, and for other reasons.
Ralph had laughed, and complied.
Mr. Jinks had seated himself upon a bank by the little stream--the
same which we have seen the picnic party cross higher up--upon a log,
and then drawing from his pocket a small mirror, he had proceeded to
make his toilet.
This ceremony consisted in a scrupulous arrangement of his artificial
locks--a cultivation of the warlike and chivalrous expression of
countenance--and a general review of the state of his wardrobe.
He soon finished these ceremonies, and then continued his way toward
the Bower of Nature.
He arrived just as Ralph had proposed the excursion to the young
girls--consequently, some moments after the young fellow's interview
with Miss Sallianna--and entered with the air of a conqueror and a
master.
History and tradition--from which, with the assistance of imagination,
(nothing unusual,) our veritable narrative is drawn--history affords
us no information in regard to what occurred at this interview between
Mr. Jinks and Miss Sallianna.
That the interview would have been terrific, full of reproaches,
drowned in tears, objurgations, and jealous ravings, is certainly no
more than the words of Mr. Jinks would have led an impartial listener
to believe. But Mr. Jinks was deep--knew women, as he often said, as
well as need be--and therefore it is not at all improbable that the
jealous ravings and other ceremonies were, upon reflection, omitted
by Mr. Jinks, as in themselves unnecessary and a waste of time. The
reader may estimate the probabilities, pro and con, for himself.
Whatever doubt exists, however, upon the subject of this
interview--its character and complexion--no doubt at all can possibly
attach to the picturesque denouement which we have referred to in the
last lines of our last chapter.
Mr. Jinks was on his knees before the beautiful Sallianna.
The girls and their companions saw it--distinctly, undoubtedly,
without possibility of mistake; finally, hearing the sound of
footsteps on the graveled walks, Mr. Jinks turned his head, and saw
that they saw him!
It was a grand spectacle which at that moment they beheld: Mr. Jinks
erect before his rival and his foes--Mr. Jinks with his hand upon his
sword--Mr. Jinks with stern resolve and lofty dignity in his form and
mien.
"Sir," said Mr. Jinks to Ralph, "I am glad to see you--!"
"And I am delighted, my dear Jinks!" returned Ralph.
"A fine day, sir!"
"A glorious day!"
"A heavy storm."
"Tremendous!"
"Wet?"
"Very!"
And Ralph wrung the water out of his falling cuff.
"I say, though," said he, "things seem to have been going on very
tranquilly here."
"Sir?"
"Come, old fellow!" don't be ashamed of--"
"What, sir! _I_ ashamed?"
"Of kneeling down--you know."
And Ralph, smiling confidentially, made significant signs over his
shoulder toward Miss Sallianna, who had withdrawn with blushing
diffidence to the other end of the portico, and was gently waving her
fan as she gazed upon the sunset.
"The fact is, I was arranging her shoe-bow," said Mr. Jinks.
"Oh!" said Ralph, "gammon,"
"Sir?"
"You were courting her."
"Courting!"
"Ah--you deny it! Well, let us see!"
And to Mr. Jinks' profound consternation he raised his voice, and
said, laughing:
"Tell me, Miss Sallianna, if my friend Jinks has not been courting
you?"
"Oh, sir!" cried Miss Sallianna, in a flutter.
"Did you say, no?" continued Ralph, pretending to so understand the
lady; "very well, then, I may advise you, my dear Jinks, not to do
so."
"Do what, sir?"
"Court Miss Sallianna."
"Why not, sir?" cried Mr. Jinks, bristling up.
"Because you would have no chance."
"No chance, sir!"
Ralph's propensity for mischief got the better of him; and leaning
over, he whispered in the warlike gentleman's ear, as he pointed to
Miss Sallianna.
"I say, Jinks, don't you understand?--desperately in
love--hum--with--hum--Verty here; no doubt of it!"
And Ralph drew back, looking mysterious.
Mr. Jinks cast upon the quiet Verty a glance which would have frozen
giants into stone.
"No, sir! all explained!" he said.
"It can't be, my dear fellow," said Ralph, in a low tone. "Verty has
the proofs."
"Did you speak to me?" said Verty, smiling: he had been talking with
Redbud during this conference.
"Yes, I did," said Ralph. Verty smiled, and said:
"I did not hear what you asked."
"No wonder," said Ralph. And turning to Mr. Jinks:
"Observe," he said, in a low tone, "how Mr. Verty is trying to make
Miss Sallianna jealous."
"Perdition!" said Mr. Jinks.
"Oh, certainly!" replied Ralph, with solemn sympathy; "but here is Mr.
Verty waiting patiently to hear what I have to say."
"Yes," said Verty, still smiling.
"It is Mr. Jinks who desires to speak," said Ralph, retiring with a
chuckle, and leaving the adversaries face to face.
"Hum--at--yes, sir--I desired to speak, sir!" said Mr. Jinks, with
threatening calmness.
"Did you?" said Verty, smiling.
"Yes, sir!"
"I can hear now."
"It is well that you can, sir! Mark me, sir! Some people cannot hear!"
"Ah?" said Verty, "yes, you mean deaf people!"
"I refer to others, sir!"
"Yes?"
"Nor can they see."
"Blind people," suggested Verty.
Mr. Jinks had an impression that Verty was trifling with him; and
considering him too good-natured to quarrel, advanced toward him with
a threatening gesture.
"I refer to people neither blind nor deaf, who cannot see nor hear
insults, sir!" he said.
"I never knew any," said Verty, wondering at Mr. Jinks.
"You are one, sir!"
"I!"
"Yes!"
"Do you mean I am afraid of anything?"
"I mean, sir, that I have been wronged."
"I don't care," said Verty, "you are not good-natured."
"What do you mean, sir?"
"You are angry."
"I am, sir!"
"I advise you not to be; you don't look handsome," said Verty."
"Sir!" cried Mr. Jinks.
Verty's face assumed an expression of mild inquiry.
"Will you fight?"
"Yes," said Verty, "but you ought not to fight with that old sword.
It's too long, and besides it would frighten old Scowley--"
"Sir!" cried Mr. Jinks, ferociously.
"And I know Miss Sallianna would scream," said Verty. "I would'nt mind
that, though--I would'nt--for I don't like her--she told me a story!"
Mr. Jinks flashed out his sword, and brandished it around his head.
"Oh, me! you've been scrubbing it!" said Verty, laughing.
To describe the terrific rage of Mr. Jinks at this disregard of
himself, his threats and weapon, would be utterly impossible.
The great Jinks raved, swore, and executed such ferocious pirouettes
upon his grasshopper legs, in the direction of the smiling Verty, that
Ralph became alarmed at the consequence of his mischief, and hastened
to the rescue.
"No, Jinks!" he cried, "there must be no fighting."
"No fighting!" cried Mr. Jinks, whose ferocity, as soon as he found
himself held back, became tremendous,--"no fighting!"
"No," said Ralph.
"Release me, sir!"
"Never!" cried Ralph, pinning his arms.
"Hold me, sir! or I will at once inflict condign punishment upon this
individual!"
"Certainly," said Ralph, beginning to laugh. "I will hold you; I
thought you said release you!"
"I did, sir!" cried Mr. Jinks, making a very faint effort to get at
Verty.
"Which shall I do?"
"I will murder him!" cried Mr. Jinks, struggling with more energy,
from the fact that Ralph had grasped him more tightly.
"Jinks! Jinks! you a murderer!"
"I have been wronged!" said the champion, brandishing his sword.
"Oh, no."
"The respectable Mrs. Scowley has been insulted!"
"You are mistaken!"
"The divine Sallianna has been charged with falsehood!"
"A mere jest."
"Let me run the villain through!"
And Mr. Jinks made a terrific lunge with his sword at Verty, and
requested Mr. Ashley to hold him tight, unless he wished to see the
Bower of Nature swimming in "gory blood!"
The colloquy we have faithfully reported, took place in far less time
than we have taken to narrate it.
Redbud had hastened forward with terror in her face, Fanny with
bewilderment--lastly, Miss Sallianna had rushed up to the spot with
a scream; the various personages came together just when Mr. Jinks
uttered his awful threat in relation to "gory blood."
"Oh, Verty!" said Redbud.
Verty smiled.
"Alphonso!" cried Miss Sallianna, with distraction.
Alphonso Jinks made overwhelming efforts to get at his enemy.
"Please don't fight--for my sake, Verty!" murmured Redbud, with pale
lips.
"Spare him, Alphonso!" cried Miss Sallianna, with a shake of agony in
her voice; "spare his youth, and do not take opprobrious revenge!"
"He has wronged me!" cried Mr. Jinks.
"Pardon him, Alphonso!"
"He has insulted you!"
"I forgive him!" cried Miss Sallianna.
"I will have revenge!"
And Mr. Jinks brandished his sword, and kept at a distance from Verty,
making a feint of struggling.
"Jinks," said Ralph, "you are tiring me out. I shall let you go in
another second, if you don't put up that sword, and stop wrestling
with me!"
This threat seemed to moderate Mr. Jinks' rage, and he replied:
"This momentary anger is over, sir--I forgive, that young
man--Sallianna! beautiful Sallianna! for thy sake!"
But overcome with nerves, and the revulsion produced by this change in
affairs, the beautiful Sallianna's head drooped upon one shoulder, her
eyes were closed, and her arms were extended towards Mr. Jinks.
Before that gentleman was aware of the fact, Miss Sallianna had been
overcome by nerves, and reclined in a faint state upon his bosom.
We need not detail the remaining particulars of the scene whose
outline we have traced.
Verty, who had received all Mr. Jinks' threats and gesticulations with
great unconcern, applied himself to conversation with Redbud again:
and no doubt would have conversed all the evening, but for Ralph.
Ralph drew him away, pointing to the damp clothes; and with many
smiles, they took their leave.
The last thing the young men observed, was Mr. Jinks supporting Miss
Sallianna, who had fainted a second time, and raising his despairing
eyes to heaven.
They burst out laughing, and continued their way.