INTERCHANGE OF COMPLIMENTS.
O'Brallaghan, as he passed through the shop, requested to be informed
where Mr. Jinks was going.
Jinks stopped, and scowled at Mr. O'Brallaghan, thereby intimating
that his, Jinks', private rights were insolently invaded by a coarse
interrogatory.
O'Brallaghan observed, that if Mr. Jinks was laboring under the
impression that he, O'Brallaghan, was to be frowned down by an
individual of his description, he was greatly mistaken. And by way of
adding to the force of this observation, Mr. O'Brallaghan corrugated
his forehead in imitation of his adversary.
Jinks replied, that he was equally indifferent to the scowls of Mr.
O'Brallaghan, and expressed his astonishment and disgust at being
annoyed, when he was going out to take some exercise for the benefit
of his health.
O'Brallaghan informed Mr. Jinks that the going out had nothing to do
with it, and that he, Jinks, knew very well that he, O'Brallaghan,
objected to nothing but the tone assumed toward himself by the said
Jinks, whose airs were not to be endured, and, in future, would not
be, by him. If this was not satisfactory, he, the said Jinks, might
take the law of him, or come out and have it decided with shillalies,
either of which courses were perfectly agreeable to him, O'Brallaghan.
Whereupon, Jinks expanded his nostril, and said that gentlemen did not
use the vulgar Irish weapon indicated.
To which O'Brallaghan replied, that the circumstance in question would
not prevent Mr. Jinks' using the weapon.
A pause followed these words, broken in a moment, however, by Mr.
Jinks, who stated that Mr. O'Brallaghan was a caitiff.
O'Brallaghan, growing very red in the face, observed that Mr. Jinks
owed his paternity to a "gun."
Jinks, becoming enraged thereupon, drew his sword, and declared his
immediate intention of ridding the earth of a scoundrel and a villain.
Which intention, however, was not then carried into execution, owing
to the timely arrival of a red-faced, though rather handsome Irish
lady of twenty-five or thirty, who, in the broadest Celtic, commanded
the peace, and threatened the combatants with a hot flat-iron, which
she brandished in her stalwart fist.
O'Brallaghan laid down the stick which he had seized, and ogled the
lady, declaring in words that the wish of mistress O'Callighan was
law to him, and that further, he had no desire to fight with the
individual before him, who had been making use of abusive and
threatening language, and had even drawn his skewer.
Jinks stated that he would have no more altercation with an individual
of Mr. O'Brallaghan's standing in society--he would not demean
himself--and from that moment shook the dust of his, O'Brallaghan's,
establishment from his, Jinks', feet. Which declaration was
accompanied with a savage kick upon the door.
O'Brallaghan congratulated himself upon the extreme good fortune for
himself involved in Mr. Jinks' decision, and hoped he would carefully
observe the friendly and considerate advice he now gave him, which
was, never to show his nose in the shop again during the period of his
mundane existence.
Whereupon Jinks, annihilating his adversary with a terrific frown,
stated his intention to implicitly observe the counsel given him, and
further, to have revenge.
In which O'Brallaghan cheerfully acquiesced, observing that the
importance attached by himself to the threats of Mr. Jinks was exactly
commensurate with the terror which would be caused him by the kick of
a flea.
And so, with mutual and terrible frowns, this alarming interview
terminated: Mr. Jinks grimacing as he departed with awful menace, and
getting his grasshopper legs entangled in his sword; Mr. O'Brallaghan
remaining behind, though not behind the counter, paying devoted
attention to the ruddy and handsome lady with the hot flat-iron,
Mistress Judith O'Callighan, who watched the retreating Jinks with
tender melancholy.