a thousand fools, and tell myself, that he that was afraid to see the
devil, was not fit to live twenty years in an island all alone, and that
I durst to believe there was nothing in this cave that was more
frightful than myself: upon this, plucking up my courage, I took up a
large firebrand, and in I rushed again, with the stick flaming in my
hand: I had not gone three steps in, but I was almost as much frightened
as I was before; for I heard a very loud sigh, like that of a man in
some pain; and it was followed by a broken noise, as if of words
half-expressed, and then a deep sigh again: I stepped back, and was
indeed struck with such a surprise, that it put me into a cold sweat;
and if I had had an hat on my head, I will not answer for it that my
hair might not have lifted it off. But still plucking up my spirits as
well as I could, and encouraging myself a little, with considering that
the power and presence of God was every where, and was able to protect
me; upon this I stepped forward again, and by the light of the
firebrand, holding it up a little over my head, I saw lying on the
ground a most monstrous frightful old he-goat, just making his will, as
we say, gasping for life, and dying indeed of a mere old age.
I stirred him a little to see if I could get him out, and he essayed to
get up, but was not able to raise himself; and I thought with myself, he
might even lie there; for if he had frightened me so, he would certainly
fright, any of the savages, if any of them should be so hardy as to come
in there, while he had any life in him.
I was now recovered from my surprise, and began to look round me, when I
found the cave was but very small; that is to say, it might be about
twelve feet over, but in no manner of shape, either round or square, no
hands having ever been employed in making it but those of mere nature: I
observed also, that there was a place at the farther side of it that
went in farther, but so low, that it required me to creep upon my hands
and knees to get into it, and whither it went I knew not; so having no
candle, I gave it over for some time, but resolved to come again the
next day, provided with candles and a tinder-box, which I had made of
the lock of one of the muskets, with some wildfire in the pan.
Accordingly, the next day, I came provided with six large candles of my
own making, for I made very good candles now of goats tallow; and going
into this low place, I was obliged to creep upon all fours, as I have
said, almost ten yards; which, by the way, I thought was a venture bold
enough, considering that I knew not how far it might go, or what was
beyond it. When I was got through the streight, I found the roof rose
higher up, I believe near twenty feet; but never was such a glorious
sight seen in the island, I dare say, as it was, to look round the sides
and roof of this vault or cave. The walls reflected an hundred thousand
lights to me from my two candles; what it was in the rock, whether
diamonds, or any other precious stones, or gold, which I rather supposed
it to be, I knew not.
The place I was in was a most delightful cavity, or grotto, of its kind,
as could be expected, though perfectly dark; the floor was dry and
level, and had a sort of small loose gravel upon it; so that there was
no nauseous creature to be seen; neither was there any damp or wet on
the sides of the roof: the only difficulty in it was the entrance,
which, however, as it was a place of security, and such a retreat as I
wanted, I thought that was a convenience; so that I was really rejoiced
at the discovery, and resolved, without any delay, to bring some of
those things which I was most anxious about to this place; particularly,
I resolved to bring hither my magazine of powder, and all my spare arms,
viz. two fowling-pieces (for I had three in all) and three muskets; (for
of them I had eight in all) so I kept at my castle only five, which
stood ready mounted, like pieces of cannon, on my utmost fence, and
were ready also to take out upon any expedition.
Upon this occasion of removing my ammunition, I was obliged to open the
barrel of powder which I took up out of the sea, and which had been wet;
and I found, that the water had penetrated about three or four inches
into the powder on every side, which, caking and growing hard, had
preserved the inside like a kernel in a shell; so that I had near sixty
pounds of very good powder in the centre of the cask; and this was an
agreeable discovery to me at that time; so I carried all away thither,
never keeping above two or three pounds of powder with me in my castle,
for fear of a surprise of any kind; I also carried thither all the lead
I had left for bullets.
I fancied myself now like one of the ancient giants, which were said to
live in caves and holes in the rocks, where none could come at them; for
I persuaded myself while I was here, if five hundred savages were to
hunt me, they could never find me out; or if they did, they would not
venture to attack me here.
The old goat, which I found expiring, died in the mouth of the cave the
next day after I made this discovery; and I found it much easier to dig
a great hole there, and throw him in, and cover him with earth, than to
drag him out: so I interred him there, to prevent offence to my nose.
I was now in my twenty-third year of residence in this island, and was
so naturalized to the place, and to the manner of living, that could I
have but enjoyed the certainty that no savages would come to the place
to disturb me, I could have been content to have capitulated for
spending the rest of my time there, even to the last moment, till I had
laid me down and died, like the old goat, in the cave: I had also
arrived to some little diversions and amusements, which made the time
pass more pleasantly with me a great deal than it did before; as, first,
I had taught my Pol, as I noted before, to speak; and he did it so
familiarly, and talked so articulately and plain, that it was very
pleasant to me; and he lived with me no less than six-and-twenty years:
how long he might live afterwards I knew not; though I know they have a
notion in the Brasils, that they live an hundred years; perhaps some of
my Polls may be alive there still, calling after poor Robin Crusoe to
this day; I wish no Englishman the ill luck to come there and hear them;
but if he did, he would certainly believe it was the devil. My dog was a
very pleasant and loving companion to me for no less than sixteen years
of my time, and then died of mere old age; as for my cats, they
multiplied, as I have observed, to that degree, that I was obliged to
shoot several of them at first, to keep them from devouring me, and all
I had; but at length, when the two old ones I brought with me were gone,
and after some time continually driving them from me, and letting them
have no provision with me, they all ran wild into the woods, except two
or three favourites, which I kept tame, and whose young, when they had
any, I always drowned, and these were part of my family: besides these,
I always kept two or three household kids about me, which I taught to
feed out of my hand; and I had also more parrots which talked pretty
well, and would all call Robin Crusoe, but none like my first; nor,
indeed, did I take the pains with any of them that I had done with him:
I had also several tame sea-fowls, whose names I know not, which I
caught upon the shore, and cut their wings; and the little stakes, which
I had planted before my castle wall, being now grown up to a good thick
grove, these fowls all lived among these low trees, and bred there,
which was very agreeable to me; so that, as I said above, I began to be
very well contented with the life I led, if it might but have been
secured from the dread of savages.
But it was otherwise directed; and it might not be amiss for all people
who shall meet with my story to make this just observation from it, viz.
How frequently, in the course of our lives, the evil, which in itself
we seek most to shun, and which, when we are fallen into, is the most
dreadful to us, is oftentimes the very means or door of our deliverance,
by which alone we can be raised again from the affliction we are fallen
into. I could give many examples of this in the course of my
unaccountable life; but in nothing was it more particularly remarkable,
than in the circumstances of my last years of solitary residence in
this island.
It was now the month of December, as I said above, in my twenty-third
year; and this being the southern solstice, for winter I cannot call it,
was the particular time of my harvest, and required my being pretty much
abroad in the fields; when going out pretty early in the morning, even
before it was thorough daylight, I was surprised with seeing a light of
some fire upon the shore, at a distance from me of about two miles,
towards the end of the island, where I had observed some savages had
been, as before; but not on the other side; but, to my great affliction,
it was on my side of the island.
I was indeed terribly surprised at the sight, and stopped short within
my grove, not daring to go out, lest I might be surprised; and yet I had
no more peace within, from the apprehensions I had, that if these
savages, in rambling over the island, should find my corn standing, or
cut, or any of my works and improvements, they would immediately
conclude that there were people in the place, and would then never give
over till they found me out. In this extremity I went back directly to
my castle, pulled up the ladder after me, having made all things without
look as wild and natural as I could.
Then I prepared myself within, putting myself in a posture of defence; I
loaded all my cannon, as I called them, that is to say, my muskets,
which were mounted upon my new fortification, and all my pistols, and
resolved to defend myself to the last gasp; not forgetting seriously to
recommend myself to the divine protection, and earnestly to pray to God
to deliver me out of the hands of the barbarians; and in this posture I
continued about two hours, but began to be mighty impatient for
intelligence abroad, for I had no spies to send out.
After sitting awhile longer, and musing what I should do in this case, I
was not able to bear sitting in ignorance longer; so setting up my
ladder to the side of the hill, where there was a flat place, as I
observed before, and then pulling the ladder up after me, I set it up
again, and mounted to the top of the hill; and pulling out my
perspective glass, which I had taken on purpose, I laid me down flat on
my belly on the ground, and began to look for the place. I presently
found there were no less than nine naked savages sitting round a small
fire they had made; not to warm them, for they had no need of that, the
weather being extreme hot; but, as I supposed, to dress some of their
barbarous diet of human flesh which they had brought with them, whether
alive or dead I could not know.
They had two canoes with them, which they had haled up upon the shore;
and as it was then tide of ebb, they seemed to me to wait the return of
the flood to go away again. It is not easy to imagine what confusion
this sight put me into, especially seeing them come on my side the
island, and so near me too; but when I observed their coming must be
always with the current of the ebb, I began afterwards to be more sedate
in my mind, being satisfied that I might go abroad with safety all the
time of tide of flood, if they were not on shore before; and having made
this observation, I went abroad about my harvest work with the more
composure.
As I expected, so it proved; for as soon as the tide made to the
westward, I saw them all take boat, and row (or paddle, as we call it)
all away: I should have observed, that for an hour and more before they
went off, they went to dancing, and I could easily discern their
postures and gestures by my glasses; I could only perceive, by my nicest
observation, that they were stark naked, and had not the least covering
upon them; but whether they were men or women, that I could not
distinguish.
As soon as I saw them shipped and gone, I took two guns upon my
shoulders, and two pistols at my girdle, and my great sword by my side,
without a scabbard; and with all the speed I was able to make, I went
away to the hill, where I had discovered the first appearance of all. As
soon as I got thither, which was not less than two hours, (for I could
not go apace, being so loaded with arms as I was,) I perceived there had
been three canoes more of savages on that place; and looking out
further, I saw they were all at sea together, making over for the main.
This was a dreadful sight to me, especially when, going down to the
shore, I could see the marks of horror which the dismal work they had
been about had left behind it, viz. the blood, the bones, and part of
the flesh of human bodies, eaten and devoured by those wretches with
merriment and sport. I was so filled with indignation at the sight, that
I began now to premeditate the destruction of the next that I saw there,
let them be who or how many soever.
It seemed evident to me, that the visits which they thus made to this
island were not very frequent; for it was above fifteen months before
any more of them came on shore there again; that is to say, I never saw
them, or any footsteps or signals of them, in all that time; for as to
the rainy seasons, then they are sure not to come abroad, at least not
so far; yet all this while I lived uncomfortably, by reason of the
constant apprehensions I was in of their coming upon me by surprise;
from whence I observe, that the expectation of evil is more bitter than
the suffering, especially if there is no room to shake off that
expectation or those apprehensions.
During all this time, I was in the murdering humour; and took up most of
my hours, which should have been better employed, in contriving how to
circumvent and fall upon them the very next time I should see them;
especially if they should be divided, as they were the last time, into
two parties; nor did I consider at all, that if I killed one party,
suppose ten or a dozen, I was still the next day, or week, or month, to
kill another, and so another, even _ad infinitum_, till I should be at
length no less a murderer than they were in being men-eaters, and
perhaps much more so.
I spent my days now in great perplexity and anxiety of mind, expecting
that I should one day or other fall into the hands of those merciless
creatures; if I did at any time venture abroad, it was not without
looking round me with the greatest care and caution imaginable; and now
I found, to my great comfort, how happy it was that I had provided a
tame flock or herd of goats; for I durst not, upon any account, fire my
gun especially near that side of the island, where they usually came,
lest I should alarm the savages; and if they had fled from me now, I was
sure to have them come back again, with perhaps two or three hundred
canoes with them in a few days, and then I knew what to expect.
However, I wore out a year and three months more before I ever saw any
more of the savages, and then I found them again, as I shall soon
observe. It is true, they might have been there once or twice, but
either they made no stay, or, at least, I did not hear them; but in the
month of May, as near as I could calculate, and in my four-and-twentieth
year, I had a very strange encounter with them, of which in its place.
The perturbation of my mind, during this fifteen or sixteen months
interval, was very great; I slept unquiet, dreamed always frightful
dreams, and often started out of my sleep in the night; in the day great
troubles overwhelmed my mind; in the night I dreamed often of killing
the savages, and the reasons why I might justify the doing of it. But to
wave all this for awhile, it was in the middle of May, on the sixteenth
day, I think, as well as my poor wooden calendar would reckon, for I
marked all upon, the post still; I say, it was on the sixteenth of May
that it blew a great storm of wind all day, with a great deal of
lightning and thunder, and a very foul night was after it: I know not
what was the particular occasion of it; but as I was reading in the
Bible, and taken up with serious thoughts about my present condition, I
was surprised with the noise of a gun, as I thought, fired at sea.
This was, to be sure, a surprise of a quite different nature from any I
had met with before; for the notions this put into my thoughts were
quite of another kind: I started up in the greatest haste imaginable;
and in a trice clapped up my ladder to the middle place of the rock, and
pulled it after me, and mounting it the second time, got to the top of
the hill; that very moment a flash of fire bade me listen for a second
gun, which accordingly in about half a moment I heard, and by the sound
knew that it was from that part of the sea where I was driven out with
the current in my boat.
I immediately considered that this must be some ship in distress, and
that they had some comrade, or some other ship in company, and fired
these guns for signals of distress, and to obtain help. I had this
presence of mind at that minute as to think, that though I could not
help them, it may be they might help me; so I brought together all the
dry wood I could get at hand, and making a good handsome pile, I set it
on fire upon the hill; the wood was dry, and blazed freely, and though
the wind blew very hard, yet it burnt fairly out, so that I was certain,
if there was any such thing as a ship, they must need see it, and no
doubt they did; for as soon as ever my fire blazed up, I heard another
gun, and after that several others, all from the same quarter. I plied
my fire all night long, till day broke; and when it was broad day, and
the air cleared up, I saw something at a great distance at sea, full
east of the island, whether a sail, or an hull, I could not distinguish,
no not with my glasses, the distance was so great, and the weather
still something hazy also; at least it was so out at sea.
I looked frequently at it all that day, and soon perceived that it did
not move; so I presently concluded that it was a ship at anchor; and
being eager, you may be sure, to be satisfied, I took my gun in my hand,
and ran towards the south-east side of the island, to the rocks, where I
had been formerly carried away with the current; and getting up there,
the weather by this time being perfectly clear, I could plainly see, to
my great sorrow, the wreck of a ship cast away in the night upon those
concealed rocks which I found when I was out in my boat; and which
rocks, as they checked the violence of the stream, and made a kind of
counter-stream, or eddy, were the occasion of my recovering then from
the most desperate hopeless condition that ever I had been in all
my life.
Thus, what is one man’s safety is another man’s destruction; for it
seems these men, whoever they were, being out of their knowledge, and
the rocks being wholly under water, had been driven upon them in the
night, the wind blowing hard at E. and E.N.E. Had they seen the island,
as I must necessarily suppose they did not, they must, as I thought,
have endeavoured to have saved themselves on shore by the help of their
boat; but the firing of their guns for help, especially when they saw,
as I imagined, my fire, filled me with many thoughts: first, I imagined,
that, upon seeing my light, they might have put themselves into their
boat, and have endeavoured to make the shore; but that the sea going
very high, they might have been cast away; other times I imagined, that
they might have lost their boat before, as might be the case many ways;
as particularly, by the breaking of the sea upon their ship, which many
times obliges men to stave, or take in pieces their boat; and sometimes
to throw it overboard with their own hands; other times I imagined, they
had some other ship or ships in company, who, upon the signals of
distress they had made, had taken them up, and carried them off: other
whiles I fancied they were all gone off to sea in their boat, and being
hurried away by the current that I had been formerly in, were carried
out into the great ocean, where there was nothing but misery and
perishing; and that perhaps they might by this time think of starving,
and of being in a condition to eat one another.
All these were but conjectures at best, so, in the condition I was in, I
could do no more than look upon the misery of the poor men, and pity
them; which had still this good effect on my side, that it gave me more
and more cause to give thanks to God, who had so happily and comfortably
provided for me in my desolate condition; and that of two ships’
companies, who were now cast away upon this part of the world, not one
life should be spared but mine. I learnt here again to observe, that it
is very rare that the providence of God casts us into any condition of
life so low, or any misery so great, but we may see something or other
to be thankful for, and may see others in worse circumstances than
our own.
Such certainly was the case of these men, of whom I could not so much as
see room to suppose any of them were saved; nothing could make it
rational, so much as to wish or expect that they did not all perish
there, except the possibility only of their being taken up by another
ship in company: and this was but mere possibility indeed; for I saw not
the least signal or appearance of any such thing.
I cannot explain, by any possible energy of words, what a strange
longing, or hankering of desire, I felt in my soul upon this sight;
breaking out sometimes thus: “O that there had been but one or two, nay,
but one soul saved out of the ship, to have escaped to me, that I might
but have had one companion, one fellow-creature to have spoken to me,
and to have conversed with!” In all the time of my solitary life, I
never felt so earnest, so strong a desire after the society of my
fellow-creatures, or so deep a regret at want of it.
There are some secret moving springs in the affections, which, when
they are set a going by some object in view, or be it some object though
not in view, yet rendered present to the mind by the power of
imagination, that motion carries out the soul by its impetuosity to such
violent eager embracings of the object, that the absence of it is
insupportable.
Such were these earnest wishings, “That but one man had been saved! O
that it had been but one!” I believe I repeated the words, “O that it
had been but one!” a thousand times; and my desires were so moved by it,
that when I spoke the words, my hands would clinch together, and my
fingers press the palms of my hands, that if I had had any soft thing in
my hand, it would have crushed it involuntarily; and my teeth in my head
would strike together, and set against one another so strong, that for
some time I could not part them again.
Let the naturalists explain these things, and the reason and manner of
them: all I can say of them is, to describe the fact, which was ever
surprising to me when I found it, though I knew not from what it should
proceed; it was doubtless the effect of ardent wishes, and of strong
ideas formed in my mind, realizing the comfort which the conversation of
one of my fellow-christians would have been to me.
But it was not to be; either their fate, or mine, or both, forbad it;
for till the last year of my being on this island, I never knew whether
any were saved out of that ship, or no; and had only the affliction some
days after to see the corpse of a drowned boy come on shore, at the end
of the island which was next the shipwreck: he had on no clothes but a
seaman’s waistcoat, a pair of open kneed linen drawers, and a blue linen
shirt; but nothing to direct me so much as to guess what nation he was
of: he had nothing in his pocket but two pieces of eight, and a
tobacco-pipe; the last was to me of ten times more value than the first.
It was now calm, and I had a great mind to venture out in my boat to
this wreck, not doubting but I might find something on board that might
be useful to me; but that did not altogether press me so much, as the
possibility that there might be yet some living creature on board, whose
life I might not only save, but might, by saving that life, comfort my
own to the last degree: and this thought clung so to my heart, that I
could not be quiet night nor day, but I must venture out in my boat on
board this wreck; and committing the rest to God’s providence, I thought
the impression was so strong upon my mind, that it could not be
resisted, that it must come from some invisible direction, and that I
should be wanting to myself if I did not go.