place where I had laid up my boat, I generally staid and lay here in my
way thither; for I used frequently to visit my boat, and I kept all
things about or belonging to her in very good order: sometimes I went
out in her to divert myself, but no more hazardous voyages would I go,
nor scarce ever above a stone’s cast or two from the shore, I was so
apprehensive of being hurried out of my knowledge again by the currents,
or winds, or any other accident. But now I come to a new scene of
my life.
It happened one day about noon, going towards my boat, I was exceedingly
surprised with the print of a man’s naked foot on the shore, which was
very plain to be seen in the sand: I stood like one thunder-struck, or
as if I had seen an apparition; I listened, I looked round me, I could
hear nothing, nor see any thing; I went up to a rising ground to look
farther: I went up the shore, and down the shore, but it was all one, I
could see no other impression but that one; I went to it again to see if
there were any more, and to observe if it might not be my fancy; but
there was no room for that, for there was exactly the very print of a
foot, toes, heel, and every part of a foot; how it came thither I knew
not, nor could in the least imagine. But after innumerable fluttering
thoughts, like a man perfectly confused, and out of myself, I came home
to my mortification, not feeling, as we say, the ground I went on, but
terrified to the last degree, looking behind me at every two or three
steps, mistaking every bush and tree, and fancying every stump at a
distance to be a man; nor is it possible to describe how many various
shapes an affrighted imagination represented things to me in; how many
wild ideas were formed every moment in my fancy, and what strange
unaccountable whimsies came into my thoughts by the way.
When I came to my castle, for so I think I called it ever after this, I
fled into it like one pursued; whether I went over by the ladder, as
first contrived, or went in at the hole in the rock, which I called a
door, I cannot remember; for never frighted hare fled to cover, or fox
to earth, with more terror of mind than I to this retreat.
I had no sleep that night: the farther I was from the occasion of my
fright, the greater my apprehensions were; which is something contrary
to the nature of such things, and especially to the usual practice of
all creatures in fear. But I was so embarrassed with my own frightful
ideas of the thing, that I formed nothing but dismal imaginations to
myself, even though I was now a great way off it. Sometimes I fancied it
must be the devil; and reason joined in with me upon this supposition.
For how should any other thing in human shape come into the place? Where
was the vessel that brought them? What marks were there of any other
footsteps? And how was it possible a man should come there? But then to
think that Satan should take human shape upon him in such a place where
there could be no manner of occasion for it, but to leave the print of
his foot behind him, and that even for no purpose too (for he could not
be sure I should see it:) this was an amazement the other way: I
considered that the devil might have found out abundance of other ways
to have terrified me, than this of the single print of a foot; that as I
lived quite on the other side of the island, he would never have been so
simple to leave a mark in a place where it was ten thousand to one
whether I should ever see it or not, and in the sand too, which the
first surge of the sea upon an high wind would have defaced entirely.
All this seemed inconsistent with the thing itself, and with all notions
we usually entertain of the subtlety of the devil.
Abundance of such things as these assisted to argue me out of all
apprehensions of its being the devil. And I presently concluded that it
must be some more dangerous creature; viz. that it must be some of the
savages of the main land over-against me, who had wandered out to sea in
their canoes, and, either driven by the currents, or by contrary winds,
had made the island, and had been on shore, but were gone away again to
sea, being as loath, perhaps, to have staid in this desolate island, as
I would have been to have had them.
While these reflections were rolling upon my mind, I was very thankful
in my thought, that I was so happy as not to be thereabouts at that
time, or that they did not see my boat, by which they would have
concluded, that some inhabitants had been in the place, and perhaps have
searched farther for me. Then terrible thoughts racked my imaginations
about their having found my boat, and that there were people here; and
that if so, I should certainly have them come again in greater numbers,
and devour me; that if it should happen so that they should not find me,
yet they would find my enclosure, destroy all my corn, carry away all
my flock of tame goats, and I should perish at last for mere want.
Thus my fear banished all my religious hope; all that former confidence
in God, which was founded upon such wonderful experience as I had had of
his goodness, now vanished; as if he that had fed me by miracle
hitherto, could not preserve by his power the provision which he had
made for me by his goodness. I reproached myself with my uneasiness,
that I would not sow any more corn one year, than would just serve me
till the next season, as if no accident could intervene, to prevent my
enjoying the crop that was upon the ground. And this I thought so just a
reproof, that I resolved for the future to have two or three years corn
beforehand, so that, whatever might come, I might not perish for want
of bread.
How strange a chequer-work of Providence is the life of man! And by what
secret differing springs are the affections hurried about, as differing
circumstances present! To-day we love what to-morrow we hate; to-day we
seek what to-morrow we shun; to-day we desire what to-morrow we fear;
nay, even tremble at the apprehensions of. This was exemplified in me at
this time in the most lively manner imaginable; for I, whose only
affliction was, that I seemed banished from human society, that I was
alone, circumscribed by the boundless ocean, cut off from mankind, and
condemned to what I call a silent life; that I was as one whom Heaven
thought not worthy to be numbered among the living, or to appear among
the rest of his creatures; that to have seen one of my own species,
would have seemed to me a raising me from death to life, and the
greatest blessing that Heaven itself, next to the supreme blessing of
salvation, could bestow; I say, that I should now tremble at the very
apprehensions of seeing a man, and was ready to sink into the ground, at
but the shadow, or silent appearance of a man’s having set his foot on
the island.
Such is the uneven state of human life; and it afforded me a great many
curious speculations afterwards, when I had a little recovered my first
surprise: I considered that this was the station of life the infinitely
wise and good providence of God had determined for me; that as I could
not foresee what the ends of divine wisdom might be in all this, so I
was not to dispute his sovereignty, who, as I was his creature, had an
undoubted right by creation to govern and dispose of me absolutely as he
thought fit; and who, as I was a creature who had offended him, had
likewise a judicial right to condemn me to what punishment he thought
fit; and that it was my part to submit to bear his indignation, because
I had sinned against him.
I then reflected, that God, who was not only righteous, but omnipotent,
as he had thought fit thus to punish and afflict me, so he was able to
deliver me; that if he did not think fit to do it, it was my
unquestioned duty to resign myself absolutely and entirely to his will;
and, on the other hand, it was my duty also to hope in him, pray to him,
and quietly to attend the dictates and directions of his daily
providence.
These thoughts took me up many hours, days, nay, I may say, weeks and
months; and one particular effect of my cogitations on this occasion I
cannot omit; viz. one morning early, lying in my bed, and filled with
thoughts about my danger from the appearance of savages, I found it
discomposed me very much; upon which those words of the Scripture came
into my thoughts, “Call upon me in the day of trouble, and I will
deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.”
Upon this, rising cheerfully out of my bed, my heart was not only
comforted, but I was guided and encouraged to pray earnestly to God for
deliverance. When I had done praying, I took up my Bible, and opening it
to read, the first words that presented to me were, “Wait on the Lord,
and be of good cheer, and he shall strengthen thy heart: Wait, I say, on
the Lord.” It is impossible to express the comfort this gave me; and in
return, I thankfully laid down the book, and was no more sad, at least,
not on that occasion.
In the middle of these cogitations, apprehensions, and reflections, it
came into my thoughts one day, that all this might be a mere chimera of
my own, and that this foot might be the print of my own foot, when I
came on shore from my boat. This cheered me up a little too, and I began
to persuade myself it was all a delusion; that it was nothing else but
my own foot; and why might not I come that way from the boat, as well as
I was going that way to the boat? Again, I considered also, that I could
by no means tell for certain where I had trod, and where I had not; and
that if at last this was only the print of my own foot, I had played the
part of those fools, who strive to make stories of spectres and
apparitions, and then are themselves frighted at them more than any
body else.
Now I began to take courage, and to peep abroad again; for I had not
stirred out of my castle for three days and nights, so that I began to
starve for provision; for I had little or nothing within doors, but some
barley-cakes and water. Then I knew that my goats wanted to be milked
too, which usually was my evening diversion; and the poor creatures were
in great pain and inconvenience for want of it; and indeed it almost
spoiled some of them, and almost dried up their milk.
Heartening myself therefore with the belief, that this was nothing but
the print of one of my own feet (and so I might be truly said to start
at my own shadow), I began to go abroad again, and went to my
country-house to milk my flock: but to see with what fear I went
forward, how often I looked behind me, how I was ready, every now and
then, to lay down my basket, and run for my life; it would have made any
one have thought I was haunted with an evil conscience, or that I had
been lately most terribly frighted; and so indeed I had.
However, as I went down thus two or three days, and having seen nothing,
I began to be a little bolder, and to think there was really nothing in
it but my own imagination; but I could not persuade myself fully of
this, till I should go down to the shore again, and see this print of a
foot, and measure it by my own, and see if there was any similitude or
fitness, that I might be assured it was my own foot. But when I came to
the place first, it appeared evidently to me, that when I laid up my
boat, I could not possibly be on shore any where thereabouts. Secondly,
when I came to measure the mark with my own foot, I found my foot not so
large by a great deal. Both these things filled my head with new
imaginations, and gave me the vapours again to the highest degree; so
that I shook with cold, like one in an ague, and I went home again,
filled with the belief, that some man or men had been on shore there;
or, in short, that the island was inhabited, and I might be surprised
before I was aware; and what course to take for my security, I knew not.
O what ridiculous resolutions men take, when possessed with fear! It
deprives them of the use of those means which reason offers for their
relief. The first thing I proposed to myself was, to throw down my
enclosures, and turn all my tame cattle wild into the woods, that the
enemy might not find them, and then frequent the island in prospect of
the same, or the like booty; then to the simple thing of digging up my
two corn fields, that they might not find such a grain there, and still
to be prompted to frequent the island; then to demolish my bower and
tent, that they might not see any vestiges of my habitation, and be
prompted to look farther, in order to find out the persons inhabiting.
These were the subjects of the first night’s cogitation, after I was
come home again, while the apprehensions which had so over-run my mind
were fresh upon me, and my head was full of vapours, as above. Thus fear
of danger is ten thousand times more terrifying than danger itself, when
apparent to the eyes; and, we find the burden of anxiety greater by
much than the evil which we are anxious about; but, which was worse than
all this, I had not that relief in this trouble from the resignation I
used to practise, that I hoped to have. I looked, I thought, like Saul,
who complained not only that the Philistines were upon him, but that God
had forsaken him; for I did not now take due ways to compose my mind, by
crying to God in my distress, and resting upon his providence, as I had
done before, for my defence and deliverance; which if I had done, I had,
at least, been more cheerfully supported under this new surprise, and
perhaps carried through it with more resolution.
This confusion of my thoughts kept me waking all night; but in the
morning I fell asleep, and having by the amusement of my mind been, as
it were, tired, and my spirits exhausted, I slept very soundly, and I
awaked much better composed than I had ever been before. And now I began
to think sedately; and, upon the utmost debate with myself, I concluded,
that this island, which was so exceeding pleasant, fruitful, and no
farther from the main land than as I had seen, was not so entirely
abandoned as I might imagine: that although there were no stated
inhabitants who lived on the spot; yet that there might sometimes come
boats off from the shore, who either with design, or perhaps never but
when they were driven by cross winds, might come to this place.
That I had lived here fifteen years now, and had not met with the
least-shadow or figure of any people before; and that if at any time
they should be driven here, it was probable they went away again as soon
as ever they could, seeing they had never thought fit to fix there upon
any occasion, to this time.
That the most I could suggest any danger from, was, from any such casual
accidental landing of straggling people from the main, who, as it was
likely, if they were driven hither, were here against their wills; so
they made no stay here, but went off again with all possible speed,
seldom staying one night on shore, lest they should not have the help of
the tides and daylight back again; and that therefore I had nothing to
do but to consider of some safe retreat, in case I should see any
savages land upon the spot.
Now I began sorely to repent that I had dug my cave so large, as to
bring a door through again, which door, as I said, came out beyond where
my fortification joined to the rock. Upon maturely considering this,
therefore, I resolved to draw me a second fortification, in the manner
of a semicircle, at a distance from my wall, just where I had planted a
double row of trees about twelve years before, of which I made mention:
these trees having been planted so thick before, there wanted but a few
piles to be driven between them, that they should be thicker and
stronger, and my wall would be soon finished.
So that I had now a double wall, and my outer wall was thickened with
pieces of timber, old cables, and every thing I could think of to make
it strong; having in it seven little holes, about as big as I might put
my arm out at. In the inside of this I thickened my wall to about ten
feet thick, continually bringing earth out of my cave, and laying it at
the foot of the wall, and walking upon it; and through the seven holes I
contrived to plant the muskets, of which I took notice that I got seven
on shore out of the ship; these, I say, I planted like my cannon, and
fitted them into frames that held them like a carriage, that so I could
fire all the seven guns in two minutes time. This wall I was many a
weary month in finishing, and yet never thought myself safe till it
was done.
When this was done, I stuck all the ground without my wall, for a great
way every way, as full with stakes or sticks of the osier-like wood,
which I found so apt to grow, as they could well stand; insomuch that I
believe I might set in near twenty thousand of them, leaving a pretty
large space between them and my wall, that I might have room to see an
enemy, and they might have no shelter from the young trees, if they
attempted to approach my outer wall.
Thus in two years time I had a thick grove; and in five or six years
time I had a wood before my dwelling, grown so monstrous thick and
strong, that it was indeed perfectly impassable; and no man of what kind
soever would ever imagine that there was any thing beyond it, much less
an habitation: as for the way I proposed myself to go in and out (for I
left no avenue), it was by setting two ladders; one to a part of the
rock which was low, and then broke in, and left room to place another
ladder upon that; so when the two ladders were taken down, no man living
could come down to me without mischiefing himself; and if they had come
down, they were still on the outside of my outer wall.
Thus I took all the measures human prudence could suggest for my own
preservation; and it will be seen at length, that they were not
altogether without just reason; though I foresaw nothing at that time
more than my mere fear suggested.
While this was doing, I was not altogether careless of my other affairs;
for I had a great concern upon me for my little herd of goats; they were
not only a present supply to me upon every occasion, and began to be
sufficient for me, without the expense of powder and shot, but also
abated the fatigue of my hunting after the wild ones; and I was loath to
lose the advantage of them, and to have them all to nurse up over again.
To this purpose, after long consideration, I could think but of two ways
to preserve them: one was to find another convenient place to dig a cave
under ground, and to drive them into it every night; and the other was
to enclose two or three little bits of land, remote from one another,
and as much concealed as I could, where I might keep about half a dozen
young goats in each place; so that if any disaster happened to the flock
in general, I might be able to raise them again with little trouble and
time: and this, though it would require a great deal of time and labour,
I thought was the most rational design.
Accordingly I spent some time, to find out the most retired parts of the
island; and I pitched upon one, which was as private indeed as my heart
could wish; for it was a little damp piece of ground in the middle of
the hollow and thick woods, where, as is observed, I almost lost myself
once before, endeavouring to come back that way from the eastern part of
the island: here I found a clear piece of land near three acres, so
surrounded with woods, that it was almost an enclosure by nature; at
least it did not want near so much labour to make it so, as the other
pieces of ground I had worked so hard at.
I immediately went to work with this piece of ground, and in less than a
month’s time I had so fenced it round, that my flock or herd, call it
which you please, which were not so wild now as at first they might be
supposed to be, were well enough secured in it. So without any farther
delay, I removed ten she-goats and two he-goats to this piece; and when
there, I continued to perfect the fence, till I had made it as secure as
the other, which, however, I did at more leisure, and it took me up more
time by a great deal.
All this labour I was at the expense of, purely from my apprehensions on
the account of the print of a man’s foot which I had seen; for as yet, I
never saw any human creature come near the island, and I had now lived
two years under these uneasinesses, which indeed made my life much less
comfortable than it was before; as may well be imagined, by any who know
what it is to live in the constant snare of the fear of man; and this I
must observe with grief too, that the discomposure of my mind had too
great impressions also upon the religious part of my thoughts; for the
dread and terror of falling into the hands of savages and cannibals lay
so upon my spirits, that I seldom found myself in a due temper for
application to my Maker; at least, not with the sedate calmness and
resignation of soul which I was wont to do. I rather prayed to God as
under great affliction and pressure of mind, surrounded with danger, and
in expectation every night of being murdered and devoured before the
morning; and I must testify from my experience, that a temper of peace,
thankfulness, love, and affection, is much more the proper frame for
prayer than that of terror and discomposure; and that under the dread of
mischief impending, a man is no more fit for a comforting performance of
the duty of praying to God, than he is for repentance on a sick bed; for
these discomposures affect the mind as the others do the body; and the
discomposure of the mind must necessarily be as great a disability as
that of the body, and much greater; praying to God being properly an act
of the mind, not of the body.
But to go on: after I had thus secured one part of my little living
stock, I went about the whole island, searching for another private
place, to make such another deposit; when wandering more to the west
point of the island than I had ever done yet, and looking out to sea, I
thought I saw a boat upon the sea at a great distance; I had found a
perspective glass or two in one of the seamen’s chests, which I saved
out of our ship; but I had it not about me, and this was so remote, that
I could not tell what to make of it, though I looked at it till my eyes
were not able to look any longer: whether it was a boat, or not, I do
not know; but as I descended from the hill, I could see no more of it,
so I gave it over; only I resolved to go no more without a perspective
glass in my pocket.
When I was come down the hill, to the end of the island, where indeed I
had never been before, I was presently convinced, that the seeing the
print of a man’s foot, was not such a strange thing in the island as I
imagined; and, but that it was a special providence that I was cast upon
the side of the island where the savages never came, I should easily
have known, that nothing was more frequent than for the canoes from the
main, when, they happened to be a little too far out at sea, to shoot
over to that side of the island for harbour; likewise, as they often
met, and fought in their canoes, the victors, having taken any
prisoners, would bring them over to this shore, where, according to
their dreadful customs, being all cannibals, they would kill and eat
them: of which hereafter.
When I was come down the hill to the shore, as I said above, being the
S.W. point of the island, I was perfectly confounded and amazed; nor is
it possible for me to express the horror of my mind, at seeing the shore
spread with skulls, hands, feet, and other bones of human bodies; and
particularly I observed a place where there had been a fire made, and a
circle dug in the earth, like a cock-pit, where it is supposed the
savage wretches had sat down to their inhuman feastings upon the bodies
of their fellow-creatures.
I was so astonished with the sight of these things, that I entertained
no notions of any danger to myself from it, for a long while; all my
apprehensions were buried in the thoughts of such a pitch of inhuman,
hellish brutality, and the horror of the degeneracy of human nature;
which, though I had heard of often, yet I never had so near a view of
before: in short, I turned away my face from the horrid spectacle; my
stomach grew sick, and I was just at the point of fainting, when nature
discharged the disorder from my stomach, and, having vomited with an
uncommon violence, I was a little relieved, but could not bear to stay
in the place a moment; so I got me up the hill again with all the speed
I could, and walked on towards my own habitation.