In the Chinese language there are a great many polite phrases used in
conversation. The ability to use these is a sign of education. Every
student of the language should become acquainted with the most common
ones, for he will have occasion to use them constantly. Some of these
phrases have been introduced and explained in these lessons already,
but here an attempt will be made to gather together all those that
would be ordinarily used is conversation.
When you meet any one for the first time, according to Chinese
etiquette you are at liberty to ask him what his honorable name may
be. The expression for this is \{Tsung sing°}/ (尊姓), or \{Kwe°-sing°}/
(貴姓). In answer he will tell you his surname, but in doing so he
will refer to it as his humble name. Thus he will say
\{Bi°-sing° Tsang}/ (敝姓張) (if his surname is Tsang).
Next you might proceed to inquire what his other name was, that is,
his private name in distinction from his surname. This you would ask
by saying \{°Tshing kyau° da° ‘au°}/ (請叫大號), “Please teach me your
great appellation” or \{The °foo}/ (台甫). In answer he might say
\{°Tshau-z° Kya-foo}/ (草字嘉甫), meaning “the grass characters are
\{Kya-foo}/,” or he might say \{°Siau-ming}/ (小名). (\{Kya-foo}/ is
taken as an example of a name).
Then you might proceed to ask his age. This you would do by saying
\{Too-sau kwe°-kang}/ (多少貴庚). The answer would be \{°Ngoo hyui doo°
san seh soe°}/ (我虛度三十歲). Lit. “I have vainly passed thirty
years.” If you ask an old gentleman his age, you would say \{°Kyi-hau°
kau-zeu°}/ (幾化高壽). Lit. “What is your high longevity?”
If you ask a person how he is, as has been already intimated, you
would say \{°Hau-la°-va°}/ (好拉否). The answer might be \{Khau° fok}/
(靠福), meaning “I depend upon you for my happiness.”
If a person asked you how many years you had been in China, he would
say \{Tau°-ts bi°-kok °kyi z-tse}/ (到之敝國幾時哉). You would answer
\{°Ngoo tau°-ts kwe°-kok nyan nyien}/ (我到之貴國念年). “I arrived in
your honorable country twenty years ago” (or any length of time you
had been in the country).
When you are asking a guest to take a seat, if he is at all an
honorable guest, you must request him to take an honorable seat. This
you do by saying \{°Tshing °zaung-deu °zoo}/ (請上頭坐), meaning “Please
sit up higher.”
In asking how many children you have your guest would say \{°Kyi-we
°sau-kyuin}/ (幾位少君), “How many little princes have you.” Your answer
is \{San kuh °siau-koen}/ (三個小干), or \{°san kuh °siau-noen}/
(三個小囝), or \{san kuh °siau-°choen}/ (三個小犬).
At table, if you finish before others, you raise your chop-sticks and
say to the others \{Man°-yoong°}/ (慢用), “use slowly.” Then place the
chop-sticks on top of the bowl. Your host could answer \{Yoong°-°pau}/
(用飽), meaning, “Take plenty.”
When a guest is leaving, in addition to saying \{Chi°-tse}/, he may
say \{Kyung-tshau}/ 驚吵), meaning, “I have troubled you.” Your answer
may be \{De-man de-man}/ (待慢), meaning, “I have treated you without
proper respect.” Or he may say, as he is walking away \{°Tshing lieu
kyung-boo°}/ (請留經步), meaning, “Please restrain your orderly
footsteps”; or simply \{Lieu-boo°}/, meaning “Don’t trouble to come
out.” If you have to excuse yourself after a short stay, you should
say \{Sau-be}/ (少陪).