THE ELUSIVE BRIDGE.
"I must be very near the end of my journey," said Billy the morning
after he ruined Nickel Plate's new coat. "I have been on the air road a
long time, and certainly I have had some queer adventures. What shall I
say to Bogie Man when I _do_ see him, I wonder----" but here he lit on
the ground and looked around him. About half a block behind him he saw
a most peculiar looking bridge--a bridge that seemed to be floating in
the air and yet came very near to touching the ground at each end.
But what interested him was the dark and dismal looking city on the
other side of the bridge.
"Why, that's strange. The bridge and the city are behind me, so I must
have passed over them; yet I don't remember seeing them at all."
Billy had been looking at them over his shoulder and now turned to
get a better view. But when he turned he saw nothing before him but a
great wide stretch of land--the bridge and the city had disappeared.
"I am sure I saw a bridge and city over there," and he casually turned
his head to look around him again--there at his back were the objects
he sought. "I must have turned all the way round without noticing it,
but this time I'm going to keep an eye on them when I turn." So Billy
turned very, very slowly, keeping a close watch on the bridge and city.
But as he turned, they turned; it made no difference how fast or how
slow the motion.
"Barker, old dog," he said finally in despair, "I'm afraid my head is
turned. I want you to try it." So he took Barker out of his pocket and
placed him on the ground. Then he turned his own and Barker's heads
over their shoulders, and pointing to the city said, "Watch, it, good
dog, watch it."
Barker undoubtedly understood, and as his neck wasn't comfortable with
his head turned, he turned his body around. He stopped and looked
around him in the greatest dog surprise, caught sight of the city
over his shoulder, and turned again. Then he began to get excited,
and before Billy could stop him was spinning round and round like a
kitten after its tail. And he spun and spun and he spun, Billy all the
time trying to make head or tail of him, until he got so dizzy that he
fell over on his side. "Good old dog," cried Billy, picking him up and
putting him in his pocket. "You have proved that I'm not the only one
who can't get the bridge in front of him. But I have made up my mind to
get to that city if it takes the rest of my life, for it looks to me
like Never Was where Bogie Man lives." And with that he commenced to
walk backwards. And he walked and walked and walked, but not an inch
nearer to the bridge did he get.
"I wonder if I could jump backwards. I'll try it." And back he jumped.
Up he went and back he flew. It wasn't a very comfortable feeling,
either, not to know just where he was going, and he certainly hoped he
wouldn't bump into any buildings when he did reach the city. But he
closed his eyes and waited, until at last his feet touched earth. Then
he opened his eyes and looked around him, expecting to find himself
in the middle of the city. Not a bit of it. There he was in the same
spot he had started from, with the bridge and the city just over his
shoulder.
"Well, I'll be gum swizzled!" he exclaimed in surprise.
"I shouldn't," said an important looking man in a black uniform and a
little round cap bearing the words "Toll Gate Keeper." "You might be
gummed, you know, like an envelope, but it wouldn't do to be swizzled."
"What is swizzled?" asked Billy.
"How should I know? But you should, for you said you would be."
"It was just an expression with me."
"Oh! you meant to say you would be expressed. What are the express
rates on boys?"
"No, I didn't mean that; what I meant to say is that what I meant to
say was--oh! pshaw! I don't know what I'm talking about."
[Illustration: _The Toll Gate Keeper._]
"Of course you don't, and as I don't, either, let's change the
subject." And the Toll Gate Keeper nodded his head very gravely.
"Then can you tell me what city that is back there?" asked Billy,
pointing over his shoulder.
"Yes," said the Toll Man, and then he began to hum a tune as though
that closed the discussion.
"Well?" said Billy.
"Quite well, thank you--how do you feel?"
"But I didn't mean that--I was waiting for an answer to my question."
"I've answered all the questions you've asked; of course, if you
haven't asked it yet you can't expect me to answer it."
"But I asked you if you could tell me what city that is back there."
"And I said 'yes, I could.' I'm sure that's answering your question."
And the Toll Man looked grieved.
"Then why don't you tell me?"
"Because you haven't asked me to--why should I waste my valuable time
answering questions that were never asked?"
"Then what city is it?" asked Billy, angrily.
"Never Was."
"Thank you--and now I will ask you: do I have to cross that bridge to
get there?"
"You've already crossed it," said the Toll Gate Keeper, "and I'm here
to collect your toll."
"I beg your pardon, I haven't crossed it," said Billy.
"Oh, but you have, otherwise you wouldn't be here."
"But how could I have crossed it? I haven't gotten to it yet."
"Of course not; if you had gotten to it you wouldn't have crossed it,"
and the Toll man looked at Billy as much as to say, "Well, you _are_ a
dull boy if you can't understand that."
"That's ridiculous," said Billy. "What sort of a bridge is it, anyway?"
"The bridge that people cross before they come to it."
"But there is no such bridge."
"Of course there's not, that's the reason people cross it before they
get to it."
"Then how am I to get to the city?"
"I don't know and I don't care. I didn't send you there--all I know is
that the only way to Never Was is over the bridge that people cross
before they get to it."
"Then all I can see is that I shall have to cross the bridge," said
Billy.
"I've told you that you've already crossed it."
"Stop a minute," cried Billy, putting his fingers in his ears, "my head
is in a whirl."
"How can I stop a minute? I'd have to catch it first, and don't you
know that time flies?"
"I mean wait for a minute."
"Which minute do you want me to wait for?"
"Oh, stop it, stop it!--don't stop anything--I mean don't wait for
anything--if you say another word I'll go crazy."
And poor bewildered Billy sat down on the ground and buried his face in
his hands.
"There, I feel better," said he, finally, raising his head. "Who are
you, please?"
"I'm the Toll Gate Keeper, also The Man That People Borrow Trouble
From."
"Oh!" said Billy.
"No, I don't owe, I lend, and it's a poor business, for no one ever
pays me back. More people owe me a grudge than a Thousand Legger can
count on its fingers and toes."
"Aren't you afraid to have so many people owing you a grudge?" asked
Billy.
"How can I help it? They borrow trouble from me without asking for it,
and anyway it worries them more than it does me."
"This is certainly a topsy-turvy place," said Billy. "What is that sign
on the bridge--is it in Greek?"
"Oh, no! that's just because you see the back of it; it's only for
people who are crossing, and says, 'Walk your Horses.'"
"Do horses ever cross the bridge?"
"None have so far--it's just put there in case they should. You know
if wishes were horses beggars would ride, and, of course, if you put
a beggar on horseback he will ride you down. That would make it very
unpleasant for any one who was walking if there should ever happen to
be any."
"Do many people cross the bridge?" asked Billy.
"I don't know, I'm sure--as they all cross it before they get to it,
by the time they get there they have already crossed it, so it's
impossible to make them pass through the turnstiles."
"I wish I knew how to get to Never Was," said Billy sadly.
"I can't help you; because what has once been done can't be undone,
unless time turns back, and as what you have done was done before you
did it, I don't see how you can ever do it."
"No, I'm very sure you can't help me," said Billy. "But of one thing I
am certain, I must get to Bogie Man's house."
"You will do well if you do, for no one has ever seen Bogie Man," said
the Toll Gate Keeper.
"No one has ever seen him?"
"No--lots of people have thought they saw him but he keeps himself just
out of sight."
"I wonder what time it is?" said Billy, pulling out his Waterbury. "I
do hate to waste so much time--why it can't be eleven o'clock yet."
"Just half past ten," said the Toll Man, pulling out his sun dial.
"I wonder what's happened to my watch? I must turn it back," and
pressing the spring Billy turned the hands back to ten thirty. Just at
that moment he happened to catch sight of the bridge over his shoulder,
and, strange to say, it was almost in touching distance.
"Hurrah!" he cried, delightedly, "here's the bridge right here--now
I'm sure to catch it," and he ran backwards as hard as he could, but
without getting an inch nearer to it.
"How did it get here, anyway?" he asked.
"I don't know," said the Bridge Keeper. "I noticed it coming up while
you were setting your watch back."
"That's it--that's it," cried Billy. "Don't you know, you said that
what has once been done can't be undone unless time turns back."
"What has that got to do with it?"
"Can't you see when I turned time back, up came the bridge? Now I am
going to turn it back more and get to the other side."
"Don't risk it, don't risk it," cried the Toll Gate Keeper, in great
excitement. "If you should happen to be lost between two hours, you
might never catch up with time again."
But Billy did not heed the warning, for he knew he could turn his watch
ahead again and make up for any lost time that way.
So back went the hands of the watch and, "Spang!" Billy stood in the
dark and dismal streets of Never Was.
Far, far off in front of him (this time) was the bridge, and on the
other side, waving his arms in despair, stood the Toll Gate Keeper.