Markland lay as usual, bare and white against the sun, upon that day of
fate. The young trees had grown a little and stood basking, scarcely
shivering, leaning their feeble young heads together in the sun, but
making little show as yet; all was wrapped in the warmth and stillness
of the summer morning. The old butler stood upon the steps of the great
door, his white head and black figure making a point in the bright,
unbroken, still life about. Within, Lady Markland was in the morning-room
with her business books and papers, but not doing much; and Geoff in
another, alone with _his_ books, not doing much; thinking, both of them,
of the expected visitor now riding up in a breathless white heat of
excitement to the hall door.
The entire house knew what was coming. Two or three maids were
peeping at the windows above, saying, "There he is," with flutters of
sympathetic emotion. That was why the butler himself stood on the steps
waiting. All these spectators in the background had watched for a long
time past; and a simultaneous thrill had run through the household, which
no one was conscious of being the cause of, which was instinctive and
incontrovertible. If not yesterday, then to-day; or to-morrow, if anything
should come in the way to-day. Things had come to such a pitch that they
could go no farther. Of this every one in Markland was sure. There is
something that gets into the air when excitement and self-repression run
high, and warns the whole world about of the approach of an event. "A
bird of the air hath carried the matter." So it is said in all languages.
But it is more than a bird in the air, swifter, flying, entering into
the very scent of the flowers. The last thing that Warrender thought of
was that the fire and passion in his own breast had been thus publicly
revealed. He wondered night and day whether _she_ knew, whether she had
any suspicion, if it had ever occurred to her to think; but that the
maids should be peeping from the windows, and the old butler watching
at the door to receive the lover, was beyond his farthest conception of
possibility, fortunately--since such a thought would have overwhelmed
him with fury and shame.
Lady Markland sat at her table, pondering a letter from Mr. Longstaffe.
She had it spread out before her, but she could only half see the words,
and only half understand what they meant. She had read in Theo's eyes
upon the previous day--all. Had he but known he had nothing to reveal to
her, nothing that she could not have told him beforehand! She had felt
that the tempest of his young passion had been about to burst, and she
had been extravagantly glad of the sudden appearance of the visitors who
made it impossible. She had been glad, but perhaps a little disappointed
too; her expectation and certainty of what was coming having risen also
to a white heat of excitement, which fell into stillness and relief at
the sight of the strangers, yet retained a certain tantalised impatience
as of one from whose lips a cup has been taken, which will certainly
have to be emptied another day. This was what she said to herself, with
a trembling and agitation which was fully justified by the scene she
anticipated. She said to herself that it must be got over, that she
would not try to balk him, but rather give him the opportunity, poor
boy! Yes! it was only just that he should have his opportunity, and
that this great crisis should be got over as best it might. Her hands
trembled as she folded Mr. Longstaffe's letter and put it away; her
mind, she allowed to herself, was not capable of business. Poor boy,
poor foolish boy! was not he a boy in comparison with herself, a woman
not only older in years, but so much older in life; a woman who had been
a wife, who was a mother; a woman whose first thoughts were already
pledged to other interests, and for whom love in his interpretation of
the word existed no more? She would look down upon him, she thought,
as from the mountain height of the calm and distant past. The very
atmosphere in which such ideas had been possible was wanting. She would
still him by a word; she would be very kind, very gentle with him, poor
boy! She would blame herself for having unintentionally, unconsciously,
put him in the way of this great misfortune. She would say to him, "How
could I have ever thought that I, a woman so much older, past anything
of the kind--that _I_ could harm you? But it is not love, it is pity, it
is because you are sorry for me! And it will pass, and you will learn to
think of me as your friend." Oh, such a friend as she would be to him!
and when some one younger, prettier, happier than she came in his way,
as would certainly happen! Lady Markland could not help feeling a little
chill at that prospect. The warmth of a young man's devotion has a great
effect upon a woman. It makes many women do foolish things, out of the
gratitude, the exhilaration of finding themselves lovable and beloved,
especially those who are past the age and the possibility of being
loved, as Lady Markland, now seven-and-twenty, had concluded herself
to be.
Seven-and-twenty! ah, but that was not all! a wife already, to whom
it was shame so much as to think of any other man. A second marriage
appeared to her, as to many women, a sort of atheism; a giving up of the
religion of the immortal. If marriage is a tie that endures for ever, as
it is every happy woman's creed it is, how could she die, how dare ever
to look in the face a man whom because he was dead,--no, more than that,
because a change had happened to him which was no doing of his--she
had abandoned for another man? This argument made it once and for ever
impossible to contemplate such an act. Therefore it was to another man's
wife that this poor boy, this generous enthusiast, was giving his all.
But a woman cannot have such a gift laid down at her feet without a
sensation of gratitude, without a certain pleasure even amid the pain
in that vindication of herself and her womanhood which he makes to her,
raising her in her own esteem. Therefore she could not be hard, could
not be angry. Poor boy! to think of what it was he was throwing away;
and of the beating heart full of foolish passion with which he was coming
to say words which her imagination snatched at, then retired from, trying
not to anticipate them, not to be curious, not to be moved in advance by
what he must say. But then she paused to ask herself whether she could
not prevent him, whether she could not spare him these fruitless words.
Would not it be wrong to let him say them when it was so certain what
her response must be? She might stop him, perhaps, in the utterance;
tell him--with what sympathy, with what tenderness! that it must not be;
that not for her were such expressions possible; that he was mistaking
himself, and his own heart, in which pity was moving, not love. Could
she do this? She felt a quick pang of disappointment in the thought
of thus not hearing what he had to say: but it would be kinder to
him--perhaps: would it be kinder?--to stop those words on his lips,
words that should only be said to the woman who could listen to them; to
the happy young creature whom some time or other he might still love.
This was the confusion of thought in Lady Markland's mind while she sat
by her writing-table among her papers, turning them over with nervous
hands, now opening, now closing again the letters to which she could
give no attention; letters, a cool observer might have said, much more
important than a question of a foolish young fellow's love. Meanwhile
the maids peeped, and the old butler looked down the avenue where
Warrender's black horse was visible, marked with foam as if he had been
pushed on at a great pace, and yet, now that the house was in sight,
coming slowly enough. The servants had no doubt about what was going to
happen so far as Warrender was concerned--but it was all the more like
an exciting story to them that they had no certainty at all how it was
to end. Opinions were divided as to Lady Markland; indeed so wrapped was
the whole matter in mystery that those who ought to know the best, old
Soames for one, and her own maid for another, could give no opinion at
all.
Geoff was all this time in the room where he had his lessons, waiting
for his tutor. He was biting his nails to the quick, and twisting his
little face into every kind of contortion. Geoff was now ten, and he had
grown a great deal during the year,--if not so very much in stature, yet
a great deal in experience. A little, a very little, and yet enough to
swear by, of the wholesome discipline of neglect had fallen to Geoff's
share. Business and lessons had parted his day from his mother's in a
way which was very surprising when it was realised; and Geoff realised
it, perhaps, better than Lady Markland did. In the evenings she was, as
before, his alone; though sometimes even then a little preoccupied and
with other things in her mind, as she allowed, which she could scarcely
speak to him about. But in the long day these two saw comparatively little
of each other. At luncheon, Warrender was always there talking to Lady
Markland of subjects which Geoff was not familiar with. The boy thought,
sometimes, that Theo chose them on purpose to keep him "out of it."
Certainly he was very often out of it, and had to sit and stare and
listen, which was very good for him but did not make him more affectionate
towards Theo. To feel "out of it" is not a comfortable, but it is a very
maturing experience. Geoff sat by and thought what a lot Theo knew;
what a lot mamma knew; what an advantage grown-up people had; and how
inattentive to other people's feelings they were in using it. After
luncheon, Theo frequently stayed to talk something over with Lady
Markland; to show her something; now and then to help her with something
which she did not feel equal to, and during these moments Geoff was
supposed to "play." What he did, generally, was to resort to the stables
and talk with the coachman and Black, whose conversation was perhaps
not the best possible for the little lad, and who instructed him in
horse-racing and other subjects of the kind. When Theo went away,
Lady Markland would call for Geoff to walk down the avenue with her,
accompanying the tutor to the gate. And when he had been shaken hands
with and had taken his departure, then was to Geoff the best of the day.
His mother and he, when it was fine, strolled about the park together
for an hour, in something like the old confiding and equal friendship; a
pair of friends, though they were mother and son, and though Geoff was
but ten and she twenty-seven. That moment was old times come back, and
recalled what was already the golden age to Geoff, the time before
anything had happened. He did not say before his father died, for his
childish memory was acute enough to recollect that things had often been
far from happy then. But he remembered the halcyon days of the first
mourning; the complete peace; the gradual relaxation of his mother's
face; the return of her dimples, and of her laughter. It had only been
then, he remembered, that he had called her "pretty mamma!" her face had
become so fresh, and so soft and round. But lately it had lengthened
a little again; and the eyes sometimes went miles off, which made him
uneasy. "Why do your eyes go so far away? do you see anything?" he
asked, sometimes; and then she would come back to him with a start,
perhaps with a flush of sudden colour, sometimes with a laugh, making
fun of it. But Geoff did not feel disposed to make fun of it. It gave
him a pang of anger to see her so; and unconsciously, without knowing
why, he was more indignant with Theo at these moments, than he was when
Theo sat at table and talked about matters beyond Geoff's ken. What had
Theo to do with that far-away look? What could he have to do with it?
Geoff could not tell; he was aware there was no sense in his anger, but
yet he was angry all the same.
And now, he sat waiting for Theo to come: waiting, but not wishing for
him. Geoff was not so clever as the maids and old Soames; he did not
know what he was afraid of. He had never formulated to himself any exact
danger; and naturally he knew nothing of the seductions of that way upon
which Warrender had been drawn without intending it; without meaning any
breach of Geoff's peace or of his own. Geoff did not know at all what
he feared. He felt that there was something going on which was against
him; and he had a kind of consciousness, like all the rest, that it was
coming to a climax to-day. But he did not know what it was, nor what
danger was impending over him. Perhaps Theo intended to stay longer; to
come to Markland altogether; to interfere with the boy's evenings as he
had done with his mornings. Or perhaps--but when he for a moment asked
himself what he feared, his thoughts all fled away into vague alarms,
infinitesimal in comparison with the reality, which was far too big,
too terrible, for his mind to grasp. Mamma was afraid of it too, he had
thought, this morning. She had looked, as the sky looks sometimes when
the clouds are flying over it, and the wind is high and a storm is
getting up: sometimes her face would be all overcast, and then her eyes
had the look of a shower falling (though she did not shed any tears),
and then there would be a clearing. She was afraid too. It was something
that Theo was going to propose: some change that he wanted to carry out:
and mamma was afraid of it too. This was in one way comforting, but in
another more alarming: for it must be very serious indeed, if she, too,
was afraid.
He roused himself from these uncomfortable thoughts, and began to pull
his books about, and put his exercise upon the desk which Theo used,
when he heard the sound of Theo's arrival; the heavy hoofs of the big
black horse; the voice of Soames in the hall; the quick steady step
coming in. The time had been when Geoff had thrown all his books on the
table, and rushed out to witness the arrival, with an eager "Oh, Theo,
you're five minutes late!" or "Oh, Theo, I haven't done yet!" For some
time, however, he had left off doing this. Things were too serious for
such vanities; he lifted his head and held his breath, listening to the
approaching footstep. A kind of alarm lest it should not be coming here
at all, but straight to Lady Markland's room, made him pale for the
moment. That would be too bad, to come here professedly for Geoff and to
go instead to mamma! it would be just like Theo; but fortunately things
were not quite so bad as that. The steps came straight to Geoff's
door. Warrender entered looking--the boy could not tell how--flushed,
weary-eyed: something as he had seen his father look in the morning
after a late night. Excitement simulates many recollections, and this
was the first thought that leaped to Geoff's little mind, with its
little bit of painful experience. "I say, Theo!" the boy cried; and
then stared and said no more.
"Well! what is it you say? I hope you are prepared to-day, not like last
time."
"Last time! but I was very well prepared! It is you who forget. I knew
all my lessons."
"You had better teach me, then, Geoff, for I don't know all: no, nor
half what I want to know. Oh, is this your exercise?" Warrender said,
sitting down. He looked it over and corrected it with his pencil,
hanging over it, seeming to forget the boy's presence. When that was
done he opened the book carelessly, anywhere, not at the place, as
Geoff, who watched with keen eyes everything the young man was doing,
perceived instantly. "Where did you leave off last time? Go on," he
said. Geoff began; but he was far too intent on watching Theo to know
what he was doing; and as he construed with his eyes only, and not all
of them, for he had to keep his companion's movements in sight all the
time, it is needless to say that Geoff made sad work of his Caesar. And
his little faculties were more and more sharpened with alarm, and more
and more blunted in Latin, when he found that, stumble as he liked, Theo
did not correct him nor say a word. He sat with his head propped on his
hands, and when Geoff paused said, "Go on." Either this meant something
very awful in the shape of fault-finding when the culprit had come to
the end of the lesson, the exemption now meaning dire retribution then,
or else--there was something very wrong with Theo. Geoff's little sharp
eyes seemed to leap out of their sockets with excitement and suspense.
At last Warrender suddenly, in the midst of a dreadfully boggled sentence,
after Geoff had beaten himself on every side of these walls of words in
bewildering endeavours to find a nominative, suddenly sprang up to his
feet. "Look here," he said, "I think I'll give you a holiday to-day."
Geoff, much startled, closed his book upon his hand. "I had a holiday
yesterday."
"Oh yes, to be sure! what has that to do with it? You can put away your
books for to-day. As for being prepared, my boy, if my head had not been
so bad----"
"Is your head bad, Theo?" Geoff put on a hypo-critical look of solicitude
to divert attention from his own delinquencies.
"I think it will split in two," said Warrender, pressing his hands upon
his temples, in which indeed the blood was so swelling in every vein
that they seemed ready to burst. He added a minute after, "You can run
out and get a little air; and----" here he paused, and the boy stopped
and looked up, knowing and fearing what was coming. "And," repeated
Warrender, a crimson flush coming to his face which had been so pale,
"I'll--go and explain to Lady Markland."
"Oh, if you're in a hurry to go, never mind, Theo! I'll tell mamma."
Warrender looked at Geoff with a blank but angry gaze. "I told you to
run out and play," he said, his voice sounding harsh and strange. "It's
very bright out of doors. It will be better for you."
"And, Theo! what shall I learn for to-morrow?"
"To-morrow!" The child was really frightened by the look Theo gave him:
the sudden fading out of the flush, the hollow look in his eyes. Then he
flung down the book which all the time he had been holding mechanically
in his hand. "Damn to-morrow!" he said.
Geoff's eyes opened wide with amazement and horror. Was Theo going mad?
was that what it meant after all?