Christian? He would have blabbed, and then our host would have lost his
chair. The president would have been forced to cashier him.”
“But the president,” I argued, “was a guest in the man’s house. How
could he have dismissed him?”
“What else would there have been for him to do?” asked the professor.
“Resign at once,” I replied. “Wasn’t he under the obligations of a
guest? Wasn’t he _particeps criminis_? How could he separate himself
from his host? How could he sit as judge upon his host, even if only
formally?”
But the professor couldn’t see the point. I began to fear that he was
in his cups, but it soon appeared that he was quite clear. We argued
for half an hour: he was still unable to see the point. The duty of a
president to enforce an unwilling and dishonest obedience to an absurd
law--this duty was superior to his duty as a guest, _i. e._, it was
superior to his obligation as a man of honor! We passed on to another
point.
“What of the student?” I asked. “I take it that he turned out to be a
gentleman. Suppose he had been a Christian? Suppose he had blabbed?
What would the other boys have done to him?”
The professor stared at me blankly.
“Nothing,” he said at length. “After all, we _were_ boozing.”
This professor, I should add, was a man of the old American stock--in
fact, a fellow very proud of his colonial ancestry. When he got back to
his university he joined in signing a public statement that Prohibition
was a great success there.
I proceed to another case. One day in the Summer of 1924, during the
Republican National Convention at Cleveland, I met an eminent American
publicist in a hotel lobby there. He told me at once that he was
suffering from a dreadful bellyache. I had a jug in my room, but my
own hotel was far away, so I suggested that help might be got from a
journalist on the premises. We went to his room, and I introduced the
publicist. The journalist promptly got out a bottle and gave him a
policeman’s drink. The publicist had recovered in three minutes....
When he got home, he joined, like the professor, in signing a public
statement praising Prohibition.
10
_Note in the Margin of a Treatise on Psychology_
As I stoop to lace my shoe you hit me over the coccyx with a length
of hickory (_Carya laciniosa_). I conclude instantly that you are a
jackass. This is a whole process of human thought in little. This also
is free will.
11
_Definition_
Democracy is that system of government under which the people, having
35,717,342 native-born adult whites to choose from, including thousands
who are handsome and many who are wise, pick out a Coolidge to be head
of the State. It is as if a hungry man, set before a banquet prepared
by master cooks and covering a table an acre in area, should turn his
back upon the feast and stay his stomach by catching and eating flies.
XVIII. CATECHISM
_Q._ If you find so much that is unworthy of reverence in the United
States, then why do you live here?
_A._ Why do men go to zoos?
INDEX
Abbott, Wilbur C., 152
Adams, John, 146, 158
Altgeld, John Peter, 127 _ff._
American Academy of Arts and Letters, 194
American Association of University Professors, 140
American Legion, 136
_American Mercury_, 120, 127, 141, 146, 152, 164, 169, 172
Americans, 100%, 152 _ff._
Anderson, Sherwood, 56, 180, 194
Anglo-Saxons, 153 _ff._, 163
Anti-Saloon League, 23, 106, 111, 113, 148, 229, 268, 269
Apollinaire, Guillaume, 169 _ff._
Aristotle, 24
Bach, Johann Sebastian, 34
Baltimore, 237 _ff._
Baltimore _Sun_, 260
Baptists, 108 _ff._
Beers, Henry A., 135
Beethoven, Ludwig van, 34, 87 _ff._, 167, 184
Bible, 17, 66, 76 _ff._, 120 _ff._
Bill of Rights, 155
Birth Control, 9 _ff._
Blease, Cole L., 116
Bowers, Claude G., 146
Boyd, Ernest, 169
Brahms, Johannes, 89, 90
_Broom_, 169
Browne, Waldo R., 127
Brownell, William C., 193
Bryan, William Jennings, 64 _ff._, 86, 112, 131, 155, 204, 230
Bryant, William Cullen, 191
Butler, Nicholas Murray, 194
Cabell, James Branch, 180, 194, 196, 217
Cahan, Abraham, 219
Canby, Henry Seidel, 170
Capital Punishment, 21 _ff._
Cathcart case, 265
Cather, Willa, 53, 57, 219, 228
Catholic Church, 106 _ff._, 157
Chambers, Robert W., 194
Chopin, F. F., 87
Christians, 25, 120 _ff._
Clean Books Bill, 21
Clemens, Samuel L., 50, 166, 191, 221
Cleveland, Grover, 24, 129, 267
Coca-cola, 77 _ff._
Cocteau, Jean, 170
Comstock, Anthony, 13, 15 _ff._
Comstockery, 15 _ff._, 98
_Congressional Record_, 163
Connolly, Margaret, 164
Conrad, Joseph, 34 _ff._, 191
Coolidge, Calvin, 72, 111, 206, 247, 259, 272, 275, 289
Cooper, James Fenimore, 191
Crapsey, Algernon Sidney, 127, 131 _ff._
Cummings, E. E., 169
Curwood, James Oliver, 166
Daniels, Josephus, 263
Darrow, Clarence, 69, 72, 86
Davis, Jefferson, 155
Dayton, Tenn., 65 _ff._, 75 _ff._
Denmark, 33
_Dial_, 170
Dickson, Harris, 159
Dreiser, Theodore, 16, 21, 43, 57, 128, 157, 180, 194
Eastman, Max, 195
Eaton, Walter Prichard, 251
Eddy, Mary Baker G., 67
Education, 133 _ff._, 141 _ff._
Eighteenth Amendment, 155
Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 191, 203
Episcopalians, 105 _ff._
Fergusson, Harvey, 222
Foetal School, 169
Ford, Henry, 191
Foster, William Z., 224
France, Anatole, 43, 191
Frederick the Great, 147
Freud, Sigmund, 249
Freytag-Loringhoven, Elsa von, 169
Fundamentalism, 74, 75 _ff._, 111, 115 _ff._, 269
Garland, Hamlin, 193
Gary, Elbert H., 167, 206, 270 _ff._
German Army, 31
Gilder, Richard Watson, 191
Glass, Montague, 221
_Godey’s Ladies’ Book_, 15
Gompers, Samuel, 70
Greenwich Village, 170, 183, 214 _ff._
Hagedorn, Herman, 194
Haliburton, Thomas C., 49
Hamilton, Alexander, 146 _ff._, 246
Hamilton, Clayton, 193
Harding, Warren Gamaliel, 189, 199, 282, 288, 289
Harrison, Henry Sydnor, 193
Haydn, Josef, 88
Hergesheimer, Joseph, 42 _ff._, 180, 194
Holy Rollers, 78 _ff._
_Homo neandertalensis_, 64
Howe, E. W., 229
Howe, M. A. DeWolfe, 244
Howells, William Dean, 190, 193
Huxley, W. H., 122, 138
Hypoendocrinal School, 169
Ibsen, Henrik, 209
International Sunday-school Lessons, 48
Irving, Washington, 191
Jackson, Andrew, 155
James, Henry, 43, 53
Jefferson, Thomas, 146 _ff._, 155, 158, 164
Josephson, Matthew, 169
Kaiser Wilhelm II, 158
Kiwanis, 136, 168, 183, 189
Kreymborg, Alfred, 214
Ku Klux Klan, 106, 111, 116, 136, 140, 155, 156
La Follette, Robert M., 155, 164
Lardner, Ring W., 49 _ff._, 221
Lee, Robert E., 155
Lewis, Sinclair, 54, 194, 219, 228, 235
Lincoln, Abraham, 198
Lodge, Henry Cabot, 199
Lord’s Day Alliance, 14
Lowell, James Russell, 191, 194
Lydia Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound, 77
Macaulay, T. B., 208
Manning, William T., 91
Marden, Orison Swett, 164 _ff._
Masters, Edgar Lee, 56 _ff._
Matthews, Brander, 135, 169
Mendelssohn, Felix, 90
Methodists, 105 _ff._, 157
Middle Ages, 108
Millikan, Robert Andrews, 123
Mississippi, 160
Moore, George, 196, 226
More, Paul Elmer, 169
Morgan, J. P. & Co., 132, 139, 192, 279
Mozart, W. A., 88, 90
Munsey, Frank A., 164, 195
Napoleon III, 32
_Nation_, 70, 159, 255 _ff._
_New Republic_, 255
New Thought, 42, 209
New York, 238 _ff._
Nobel Prize, 41
Norris, Frank, 232
Pattee, Fred Lewis, 170
Peay, Austin, 116
Pendleton, Charles S., 141
Poe, Edgar Allan, 248
Pound, Ezra, 169
Powderly, Terence V., 204
Presbyterians, 108 _ff._, 157
Prohibition, 10, 23, 113, 224
Protestantism, 104 _ff._
Raulston, Judge, 86
Reformation, 108
Rockefeller, John D., Jr., 287
Roosevelt, Theodore, 158, 290
Rotary, 135, 140, 193
Sainte-Beuve, C. A., 207
Saltus, Edgar, 277 _ff._
_Saturday Evening Post_, 43
Schönberg, Arnold, 88
Schubert, Franz, 34, 38, 87
Schumann, Robert, 87, 210
Scopes, John Thomas, 75 _ff._
Sex, 95 _ff._
Shakespeare, William, 43, 206
Sinclair, Upton, 133 _ff._, 166
_Smart Set_, 133
Smith, Alfred Emanuel, 156
Stall, Sylvanus, 18
Stedman, Edmund Clarence, 191, 193, 205
Strauss, Richard, 39
_Success_, 165
Sumner, John S., 15, 169
Sumner, William Graham, 118
Taft, W. H., 161
Thackeray, W. M., 219
Thomas, Augustus, 193
Untermeyer, Louis, 216
Van Dyke, Henry, 172 _ff._, 193
Villard, Oswald Garrison, 258
Wagner, Richard, 87, 286
Wallace, Lew, 191
War, 27 _ff._
Washington, George, 158, 173
Washington _Star_, 172, 257
Wells, H. G., 195
Wendell, Barrett, 244 _ff._
Wesley, John, 109
Wharton, Edith M., 53, 247
Wheless, Joseph, 120
Whitman, Walt, 16, 180, 203
Williams, John Sharp, 159
Wilson, Woodrow, 66, 158, 247
Wilstach, Paul, 146
Wister, Owen, 193
Wrigley, William, Jr., 206
Y. M. C. A., 20
TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:
Italicized text is surrounded by underscores: _italics_.
Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.
Inconsistencies in hyphenation have been standardized.
Archaic or variant spelling has been retained.
New original cover art included with this eBook is granted to the
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