The purpose of God in the creation of woman was to provide man with a
helpmeet. The language is unmistakable. "And the Lord God said, It is
not good that the man should be alone. I will make for him a helper
suited to him." Woman was made to be man's helpmeet in Eden; that
purpose survives the _fall_. For right or wrong, for good or ill, her
influence is felt. She lifts man up or drags him down. Scoff at it,
oppose it, cast opprobrium upon this ancient utterance, the fact
remains, woman is made for man. Helpmeet she was, helpmeet she must
be, or leave her work undone, and suffer the blight that results from
the lack of love. God placed man in the garden to keep it, and he
placed woman there to fill the bower with love, and his home with joy.
The coming of Eve to Adam is a beautiful story. He had been taught to
realize his need of her. It was a part of his constitution. The same
is true now wherever woman is appreciated. The felt want is the
recognition of the fact. A wife chosen by one's parents, not by
himself, is devoid of all of those special characteristics which
distinguish her where processes of love begin, go on, deepen and
tighten, until the bond is woven and the union formed.
"Nothing so delights man as those graceful nets,
Those thousand delicacies that daily flow
From all her words and actions, mixed with love
And sweet compliance, which declare unfeigned
Union of mind, or in them both one soul."[A]
[Footnote A: Paradise Lost, Book VIII.]
The knowledge of congeniality of tastes can only be obtained by mutual
acquaintance, and by a careful study. It is said nothing is so blind
as love. Nothing is so foolish as a blind love. Man needs a helpmeet,
and woman needs a man she can help. It is possible to know before
marriage that the parties are able to fulfil this trust. If they
cannot fulfil it, marriage is a sin, which brings forth continuous
sorrow and discontent.
The purpose of God to provide a helpmeet was avowed, but Adam did not
know the fact. Under the arch of God's promise we discover the working
of God's providence. The Bible, if properly studied, is a more
thrilling narrative than any novel, because in it we can behold the
infinite God working with man and for man. "It is not good that man
should be alone." This is the general proposition. As a counterpart we
find man feeling that it was very sad to be alone. In his heart there
is a want at work, making him ready for the blessing which God is
preparing for him.
The want of the soul means a purpose on the part of God to supply
it. This is true in regard to all that vitally interests man in this
world. My want is the basis of my hope. God, who is above and around
me, would not send forward the desire unless he had purposed to grant
it.
Prayer stirring in the soul, is to man spiritually what a bill
of goods preceding the payment is to a merchant. Do we long for
salvation, for a revival, for any spiritual outpouring? have faith
in God. There is a motive in it. Expect the blessing, and you will
receive it.
"The Spirit itself," said Paul, "beareth witness with our spirit, that
we are the children of God; and if children, then heirs; heirs of God,
and joint heirs with Christ, if so be that we suffer with him, that we
may be also glorified together." This is enjoyed despite the curse.
"Jesus sent us the Comforter, who helpeth our infirmities, for we know
not what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit itself maketh
intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he
that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the spirit,
because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of
God. And we know that all things work together for good to them that
love God, to them who are thus called according to his purpose." This
fatherhood of God comes to us under all circumstances and in all
conditions. In the home, in the heart with all its wails, in the
battle, in the victory, on earth and in heaven. Notice how Adam was
made ready for his helpmeet.
"And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field,
and every fowl of the air, and brought them unto Adam to see what he
would call them; and whatsoever Adam called every living creature,
that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to
the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam
there was not found a helpmeet for him."
Imagine Adam feeling this want of companionship as the beasts of earth
in their pristine beauty pass before him. There are those who mate
with a horse or a dog. Who make a pet of a brute, and, ignoring their
higher relations, live for their lower nature. We know that animals
can be brought to do almost anything but talk, and some birds have the
gift of speech. It was doubtless true of Eden. The serpent's talking
did not surprise Eve.
Perhaps Adam may have found animals that could have kept him company.
Yet he could find none who could meet his want as a helpmeet. Milton
has fancifully described Adam expressing his want to the Infinite. It
grew upon him. Then he has pictured him asleep, and seeing, as in a
trance, the rib, with cordial spirits warm, formed and fashioned with
his hands, until
"Under his forming hands a creature grew,
Manlike, but different sex, so lovely fair
That what seemed fair in all the world seemed now
Mean, or in her summed up, in her contained,
And in her looks, which from that time infused
Sweetness into my heart unfelt before,
And into all things from her air inspired
The spirit of love and amorous delight."
Then she disappeared. The dream haunted him in his waking hours. In
the gallery of the Louvre there is a picture of Henry IV becoming
entranced by the picture of his future wife, and next to it is the
picture of the proud man being married to the woman whose face in
the picture had once captivated his fancy. Those pictures were the
realization of the one described in Milton's verse. Adam saw in Eve
the realization of his dream, and was happy when he welcomed to his
embrace this first gift of God, which met his want and answered his
prayer. God created man not only a social being but an intellectual
being. A beast can mate with beasts. They do so. A distinguished
writer says, "the family relation is almost universal among the higher
classes of animals." Adam's immortal nature longed for a kindred
spirit. One to commune with, one to love, one to guide, one to look at
life from another standpoint, one whose opinions should be diverse,
and yet alike in difference, one to help in all the affairs of life,
not only for the propagation of the species, but to provide things
useful and comfortable for him, and like himself in temper, in
disposition, and destiny. One to whom God shall be a loving Father,
and heaven a common home. One with whom soul can join with soul in
worship and love. A kindred spirit. A spirit having a common love, a
common purpose, a common aspiration, and a common interest.
This longing for companionship was the earliest recorded emotion of
the soul. It comes earliest to us and stays longest. In childhood,
very often, instinct and desire rule wisely, and matches formed in
heaven are recognized in life's morning on earth far oftener than we
are accustomed to think. This longing never ceases. The child wants
companionship, and old age, shattered and broken, feels the need of
this loving support which God provides in the opposite sex quite as
much as does the youthful heart. Our perfect humanity is made up of
the two, and is not complete without this union.
The most magnificent scenery is tame, unless you can point out its
beauties to the one you love. The picture gallery is worthless, unless
some other lip can press the goblet of your pleasure, and sip
nectar from the flower of beauty which blossoms in your thought or
imagination. It is not good for man to be alone, even in Eden. Eden is
not Eden without its Eve. Before Eve came, Eden was the pastureland of
beasts; after it, the place took on home-like properties, bowers of
love were formed, and the place became the house of God, and the gate
of heaven.
The characteristics of woman as a helpmeet deserve our notice.
1. _Consider this word "Woman._" Woman was the name given to our
mother because she was taken out of man. The word itself means
_pliant_. In this definition we discover the first characteristic of a
womanly nature. She is pliant. She adjusts herself to circumstances.
She is adapted to meet man's wants, because she finds it in her nature
to adapt herself to meet them.
It is gentlemanly to avow an opinion. We feel that it is womanly to
waive one. We never think less of a woman for not forcing her opinions
upon a company. We do not desire her to be without opinions, nor is it
expected that she will desist from expressing an opinion, but if one
must yield, it is womanly in woman to do so.
Indeed, oftentimes a woman of strong mental calibre, whose opinions
are derived from thought and study, has built her husband up by
permitting his expression to stand even though her own judgment might
differ from him. If she be a true wife or sister, she will seek, in
retirement, to correct an opinion which could not be avowed in public
without weakening a husband's or a brother's influence. A woman that
builds up another is herself a power and a praise.
The word _pliant_ does not demand an absence of quality. The Damascus
blade is pliant; it can be bent but it is not easily broken, while
its edge is the keenest and its strength is a marvel. So woman is not
necessarily weak because she is pliant. She may be the very reverse,
and yet be pliant. Oftentimes her power of control is the more potent
because it is unseen and unostentatious. An opinion held, to be
uttered in the moment of cool and calm reflection, may be more telling
than if spoken while the storm of debate was raging. The still, small
voice came after the lightning and the thunder and the earthquake, and
God spake in it with power and effect. It is the quiet utterance in
the home which is of marvellous power in the world. It is womanly to
adorn rather than to plan.
She fits herself for companionship rather than for leadership. By her
tact and by her very nature she is enabled to harmonize antagonistic
elements, and promote concord, if she cannot secure union. Like the
lily living in the water, she feeds on her native element, love. The
lily, though it floats on the wave, opens wider its leaves to the rain
and dew. So woman, though living on love, finds pleasure and rapture
in fresh manifestations of love day by day. It is her nature to love.
It is her life to be beloved.
2. Think of this other title, _feminine_. This word, in its meaning,
furnishes the second characteristic. It pertains to woman, and denotes
a soft, tender, and delicate nature. Effeminate means destitute of
manly qualities.
A woman truly feminine is thus described: "No coarseness was mingled
with her plainness of speech; no boisterousness with her zeal. Her
feelings, her sensibilities, her tastes were all characterized by a
gentleness and delicacy seldom surpassed. While her heroic daring
and unconquerable energy excited admiration, her love of birds and
flowers, and indeed of all that is beautiful in nature, made her seem
almost childlike." This characteristic, so loved and admired, is
woman's glory, and yet it is effeminate. Woman's mind is quicker, more
flexible, more elastic than man's, though the brain, in weight, is
much lighter. Man's brain weighs, on an average, three pounds and
eight ounces. Woman's brain weighs, on an average, two pounds and four
ounces. The female intellect is impregnated with the qualities of her
sensitive nature. It acts rather through a channel of electricity than
of reasoning. Its perceptions of truth come, as it were, by intuition.
It is under the influence of the heart, that has deep and unfathomable
wells of feeling; and truth is felt in every pulse, rather than
reasoned out and demonstrated. You cannot offend a woman so quick, in
any way, as to ask her why she wishes to do thus, or why she reaches
such a conclusion. Her reply is, invariably, "'_Cause!_" And that is
about all she knows about it; and yet woe be to the man who ignores
her intuitions, or treats with disdain her advice. Woman reads
character quicker and better than man. Her policy lies in her heart.
She feels rather than reasons. Man reasons rather than feels. Hence
she is a helpmeet. She fills a lack, and supplies a want.
In her the imagination and fancy have such a lively play, that the
homeliest principles assume forms of beauty. In intellectual pursuits
she is destined to excel by her fine sensibilities, her nice
observations, and exquisite tastes, while man is appointed to
investigate the laws of abstruse sciences, and perform in literature
and art the bolder flights of genius. She may surpass him in
representing life and manners, and in the composition of letters,
memoirs, and moral tales, in descriptive poetry, and in certain styles
of music and painting, and even in sculpture. But she will never write
an Iliad or a Paradise Lost, or tragedies like those of Aeschylus. She
will never rival Demosthenes in producing a political oration, nor
a massive philosophic history like Thucydides. She will not paint a
Madonna like Raphael, nor chisel an Apollo Belvedere. The logic of
Aristotle, the polemics of Augustine, the prodigious onsets of a
Luther, the Institutes of a Calvin, the Novum Organum of Bacon, the
Principia of Newton, the Cosmos of Humboldt--the like of these she
will never achieve, nor is it desirable that she should.
Women seldom invent. There are all manner of inventions, often
hundreds of applications in a single day, for patents at the Patent
Office, yet among them there are no female applicants. Woman cannot
compete with man in a long course of mental labor. The female mind is
rather quiet and timid than fiery and driving. It admires rather than
covets the great exploits of the other sex. Woman never excelled
in architecture. To her belong the gentler arts of quiet life and
retirement, where she has power to soften and refine the heart of
him who is accustomed to battle with the elements and the forces of
external nature.
We might speak at length of woman's gentle nature, present striking
examples of female submission, endurance, and heroism, and speak in
general of her charms and of her beneficent influence in domestic
and social life. It would be equally pertinent, perhaps, to exhibit
brilliant specimens of female genius and culture in the more graceful
walks of literature, science, or art. These gay flowers of humanity
lie scattered all over the vast field of history. But our subject
leads us in another direction. Woman as a helpmeet finds in her own
nature the natural introduction to the spheres of usefulness and
influence ever open to her. She has a body, a mind, and soul. She must
help, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The household partnership
is opened to her physical nature. This relation is good as far at it
goes. But it is only the beginning. It is rather the result than the
commencement of the union. There is a closer tie found in intellectual
companionship. Mind comes in contact with mind; the wants of the
intellect are met, and a union is the result. Men engaged in public
life, literary men and artists, have often found in their wives
companions and confidantes in thought no less than in feeling. And
as the intellectual development of woman has spread wider, and never
higher, they have been mutual helpers, suited to each other. Roland
and his wife in Paris, William and Mary Howitt of England, and Mr. and
Mrs. Browning, are beautiful illustrations of this principle, though
they are exceptional in their character. As a rule, when men find
helpers in women, there is no community of employment. Harmony exists
in difference no less than in likeness, if only the same key-note
governs both parts. Woman the poem, man the poet! Woman the heart, man
the head! Such instances lie all about us. Man rides to battle, while
his wife is busy in the kitchen; but difference of occupation does
not prevent that community of inward life, that perfect esteem which
causes him to say,--
"Whom God loves, to him gives he such a wife"
And yet there is a still higher realm open before woman, because of
her spiritual nature.
Woman as a helpmeet needs something besides a well-stored mind. She
requires a heart filled with pure affections. Here we perceive how
essential to her well being is submission to Christ.
The assumption of the New Testament is, that we possess an animal
nature. The meaning of the word _flesh_, in all the New Testament
writings, is, that the human family are living in an animal condition.
It is taught that in that condition it is impossible for them to
understand higher truths, or to feel higher influences, or to enter
into the experiences which belong to the full development of the
higher faculties. Christ came to us, suffered, and died for us, that
an escape from this lower into the higher realm might be possible. It
is possible. There is inherent under the divine influence the power of
recreating, so that the soul shall escape from the prison-house of the
flesh, and shall henceforth lead the mind and the body into a higher
realm of thought and action. The very nature of woman makes her
susceptible to religious impressions. Her lively imagination, her
quick sensibilities, and her ready sympathy enable her readily to
give Christ, the personification of every manly attribute and the
embodiment of every virtue, a welcome to her soul.
It is possible for woman's spiritual nature to so marry Christ, that
her physical nature can, without a great sacrifice, forego the joys of
earthly companionship. Hence some women mated with a brute of a man,
shine as Christians, and make excellent mothers. Woman as a Christian
is a helpmeet indeed and in truth. Her power as such is felt in the
church and in the world. She is peculiarly adapted to carry forward
enterprises which have to do with meliorating the condition of
society. Who is so adapted as she to manage an orphan's home, or to
minister to the sick in hospitals, or to give support and sympathy to
the aged, or to train children up in the nurture and admonition of the
Lord? The first requisite to companionship is a heart imbued with the
love of Christ. _A heart must be emphasized_, for a heartless woman
is a terror in society, but a woman with a great heart, reverent
and obedient to God, and full of love for Christ and his work, is a
benefaction to a man, to a home, to a community, and to the world.
"Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the
Lord, she shall be praised." And a woman that feareth the Lord and
serveth him, is praised and prized beyond rubies. The next requisite
to holiness may be said to be skilfulness in the home. Woman must be
trained to household duties. If she lacks here, she is wanting in much
that makes her a real wife or mother or sister.
America, the land of homes, finds the housewife essential to its
future. Housework in woman is ever honorable. It ought to be her glory
and her pride. Let us make it so more and more.
The second requisite is intelligence. A woman must keep up with man
in literature, in general news, in what interests the community, and
especially in growth in grace, and in the knowledge of the word of
God, if she would make her home attractive. Thus shall they
"Sit side by side full sunned in all their powers
Dispensing harvests;
Self-reverent each and reverencing each
Distinct in individualities;
But like each other even as those who love,
Then comes the statelier Eden back to man.
For it is possible in wedded pair a harmony
More grateful than harmonious sound to the ear."
Said Count Zinzendorf, in regard to his wife, "Twenty-five years'
experience has shown me that just the helpmeet whom I love is the
only one that could suit my vocation. Who else could have so carried
through my family affairs? Who lived so spotlessly before the world?
Who so wisely aided me in my rejection of a dry morality? Who so
clearly set aside Pharisaism, which, as years passed, threatened
to creep in among us? Who so deeply discerned as to the spirits of
delusion which sought to bewilder us? Who would have governed my
whole economy so wisely, richly, and hospitably, when circumstances
commanded? Who have taken indifferently the part of servant or
mistress without, on the one side, affecting an especial spirituality;
on the other, being sullied by any worldly pride? Who, in a community
where all ranks are eager to be on a level, would, from wise and real
causes, have known how to maintain inward and outward distinctions?
Who, without a murmur, has seen her husband encounter such dangers by
land and sea? Who undertaken with him and sustained such astonishing
pilgrimages? Who, amid such difficulties, would have always held _up
her head and supported me_? Who found such vast sums of money and
acquitted them on her own credit? And, finally, who, of all human
beings, could so well understand and interpret to others my inner and
outer being, as this one, of such nobleness in her way of thinking,
such great intellectual capacity, and so free from the theological
perplexities that enveloped me?" Let any one peruse, with all
intentness, the lineaments of this portrait, and he will be impressed
with the fact, that it is possible for woman to fulfil her mission,
and become a true helpmeet. This woman was not a copy. She was not
a cipher. She was an original; and while she loved and honored her
husband, she thought for herself on all subjects, with so much
intelligence, that he could and did look on her as a sister and friend
also.
The third and highest grade of marriage union is the religious,
which may be expressed "as a pilgrimage round a common shrine." This
includes the other,--home sympathies and household wisdom,--for these
pilgrims know how to assist each other along the dusty way.
These facts should be remembered in her education. The beautiful forms
which everywhere exist in nature should be impressed upon the female
mind, and the treasures of elegant literature should be opened to her
in no stinted measure.
A well-disciplined and a well-stored mind she does indeed require;
but a heart of pure affections, a lively imagination, and quick
sensibilities to give depth, and form, and beauty, and vivacity to the
character of her mind, are so peculiarly feminine accomplishments,
that without them a woman of the greatest intellect is, as it were,
unsexed and disrobed of her loveliest charms. She may be a Queen
Elizabeth, and conquer a Spanish Armada, but she will never conquer
the heart, nor be recognized as a model of female character. She is to
be the mother of her race. This fixes the sphere of her duties in the
home. Think of Helen Olcott, the wife of Rums Choate; of the first
Mrs. Webster, and of her influence upon that man who won the proud
appellation, "The Great Expounder."
The story is told of Daniel Webster meeting a woman with her two boys
loaded down with bundles, at the Jersey Ferry, in New York. The lady
had lost her fortune through the failure of her husband. She was poor,
and the old set ignored her. But she lived in a little cottage in New
Jersey, and made it bright with her face of love. She was tired and
sad. Many had passed her. Mr. Webster, seeing her perplexity, offered
to relieve her of her bundles, and take charge of one of the boys.
They entered the cars. He talked to her of her God-given trust, of her
work, and of the results that would naturally flow from her efforts;
of the province of a mother, of the trust reposed in her by God
himself. She was encouraged and strengthened, and when she came to the
depot, she said, "Please, sir, give me your card, that I may mention
your name to my husband." She hurried out, and looked at it, and saw
the name of Daniel Webster. The woman was thrilled with the joy that
came to her in her sphere of service. Earth knows no fairer, holier
relation than that of mother; and she turned with delight from the
bubbles and froth of fashion to the grand work before her of raising
men for God and humanity.
"The treasures of the deep are not so precious
As are the concealed comforts of a man
Locked up in woman's love. I scent the air
Of blessings when I come but near the house.
What a delicious breath marriage sends forth!
The violet bed's not sweeter."
Think of the realm in which woman may rule. If she be elegant and
refined; if she has learned how to govern, first herself, and then
those about her, there is a charm diffused through the home which
reveals itself in the good order of the establishment, in the
politeness of the servants, in the genial disposition of the children,
in the delightful intercourse of the different portions of the
household, and in the fact that "her husband is known in the gates
when he sitteth among the elders of the land. Strength and honor are
her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her
mouth with wisdom, and her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh
well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of
idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also,
and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously; but thou
excellest them all."
In such words did King Lemuel praise this excellency of woman. Blessed
memory! Who does not remember that one form of the old-fashioned
mother,--the law of whose life was love; one who was the divinity
of our infancy, and the sacred presence in the shrine of our first
earthly idolatry; one whose heart was ever green, though the snows of
time had gathered in the boughs of her life-tree; one to whom we never
grow old, but in the plumed troop or the grave council are children
still; one who welcomed us coming, blessed us going, and forgets us
never; one who waits for the echo of our returning footstep, or who,
perhaps, has gone on to the better land, and keeps a light in the
window for those left behind.
Such women have power now as did the Hannahs and the Ruths of the
olden time. When thinking of them, you are convinced that, young or
old, they remain among the best of God's gifts to man. This leads us
to remark further, that woman's right to be a woman implies her right
to help woman. Woman must be true to her sex, or society will neglect
its duty. That old story of Ruth and Naomi has ploughed through the
world, because it reveals woman's power as a helper. Ruth clung to
Naomi, and Naomi helped her daughter to find Boaz, that noble prince
in Israel; and so she became identified with the succession of
promise. The life of Mrs. Sigourney illustrates the same truth. See
her among the young, calling forth their powers, and starting them in
a career of usefulness. Impressed with the importance of an education,
she aided by her pen, as by her example, to induce the ladies of her
acquaintance to obtain a thorough knowledge of the primary branches
that enter into daily use.
We want a woman to be intellectual without being puny. We ask that she
remain a pliant vine, and that she be not made into the rugged oak.
Woman owes it to herself that she be fitted to occupy any position
in society. In this land, as in no other, the barriers of caste are
removed, and every line of separation obliterated. The rich and the
poor meet together.
The cultured sewing-girl is quite likely to become the wife of the
future millionnaire; and the lady reared in the midst of every luxury,
and endowed with a fortune, amid the reverses of fortune may be
compelled to draw upon her own resources of labor, and of love, and
culture, to stay up the hands and encourage the heart of the man more
than ever dependent upon her for happiness and hope.
Such a woman Irving must have painted when he wrote, "I have often had
occasion to remark the fortitude with which women sustain the most
overwhelming reverses of fortune. Those disasters which break down the
spirit of a man, and prostrate him in the dust, seem to call forth all
the energies of the softer sex, and give such intrepidity and devotion
to their character, that at times it approaches to sublimity."
Nothing can be more touching than to behold a soft and tender female,
who had been all weakness, and dependence, and alive to every trivial
roughness, while treading the prosperous paths of life, suddenly
rising in mental force to be the comforter and supporter of her
husband under misfortunes, and abiding, with unshrinking firmness, the
bitterest blasts of adversity.
As the vine, which has long twined its graceful foliage about the oak,
and been lifted by it into sunshine, will, when the lordly plant is
rifted by the thunderbolt, cling round it with caressing tendrils,
and bind up its shattered boughs, so it is beautifully ordained by
Providence that woman, who is the mere dependent and ornament of man
in his happier hours, should be his stay and solace when smitten with
sudden calamity; winding herself into the rugged recesses of his
nature, tenderly supporting the head and binding up the broken heart.
To fill this feature of the wife, education is essential in household
affairs, quite as much as education in books, in music, and the ways
of fashion is essential to the young wife whose husband has suddenly
become rich, and has given up his chambers and taken an elegant house
in some fashionable street.
It is as bad to fall from the heights of opulence, and know not how
to sweep a room, make a bed, or cook a meal, as it is to rise to an
exalted position, and know not how to welcome company or preside at a
feast.
The women in America who suddenly become elevated in rank, and buy
pictures by the yard and books by the cord, are quite as abundant as
are those who lose fortune and rank, and are compelled to seek menial
employments.
The happiness secured by the proper employment of time, and by the
cultivation of the mind, furnishes a high incentive to exertion.
Contrast the woman who is educated with the one uneducated. See her in
her home, reigning a queen, while her uneducated sister, though she
may have wealth and beauty, will constantly feel the lack of that
which gold cannot procure nor fortune provide. "We are foolish,
and without excuse foolish," said Ruskin, "in speaking of the
'superiority' of one sex to the other, as if they could be compared in
similar things. Each has what the other has not; each completes the
other, and is completed by the other; they are in nothing alike;
and the happiness and perfection of both depend on each asking and
receiving from the other what the other only can give. Their separate
characters are briefly these: The man's power is active, progressive,
defensive. He is eminently the doer, the creator, the discoverer, the
defender. His intellect is for speculation and invention; his energy
for adventure, for work, for conquest, whenever war is just, whenever
conquest is necessary. But the woman's power is for love, not for
battles; and her intellect is not for invention or creation, but for
sweet ordering arrangement and decision. She sees the qualities of
things, their claims, and their places. Her great function is Praise;
she enters into no contest, but infallibly judges the crown of
contest. By her office and her place, she is protected from all danger
and temptation. The man, in his rough work in the open world, must
encounter all peril and trial. To him, therefore, the failure, the
offence, the inevitable error; often he must be wounded, or subdued,
often misled, and always burdened. But he guards the woman from all
this. Within his house, as ruled by her,--unless she herself has
sought it,--need enter no danger, no temptation, no cause of error or
offence. This is the true nature of home,--it is the place of peace;
the shelter, not only from all injury, but from all terror, doubt, and
derision. In so far as it is not this, it is not home; so far as
the anxieties of the outer life penetrate into it, and the
inconsistently-minded, unknown, unloved, or hostile society of the
outer world is allowed, either by husband or wife, to cross the
threshold, it ceases to be home; it is then only a part of that outer
world which you have roofed over and lighted a fire in. But so far as
it is a sacred place, a vestal temple, a temple of the hearth, watched
over by household gods, before whose faces none may come but those
whom they can receive with love,--so far as it is this, and roof and
fire are types only of a nobler shade and light,--shadows of the rock
in a weary land, and light as of the Pharos in the stormy sea; so far
it vindicates the name, and fulfils the praise, of home. And wherever
a true wife comes, this home is always round her. The stars only may
be overhead; the glow-worm in the night--cold grass may be the
only fire at her foot; but home is yet wherever she is; and for a
noble-woman it stretches far round her, better than ceiled with cedar,
or painted with vermilion, shedding its quiet light far, for those who
else were homeless."
Possess these qualifications and woman will be respected and beloved.
Her area of usefulness will be enlarged.
The man of brains and of industry and economy, has the promise of
wealth and position much more certainly than the indolent son of a
wealthy father. Respect such young men, and fit yourselves, young
women, to be worthy of them.
Remember position is emptiness itself, unless there be talent, piety,
and culture to adorn it.
We have asked the poor to help the rich. It is equally important that
the rich help the poor. It is impossible to overestimate the value of
those visitations of the noble few who leave their homes and seek out
the little room of the poor seamstress, and carry sunlight and love
and comfort into the abodes of the impoverished and the sorrowful.
Not only that, but it is possible and practicable for women of wealth
and culture to help their sex to reach positions of respectability and
usefulness.
Mary Lyon is known and honored throughout the world for her work in
behalf of women.
Imagine our first ladies opening their parlors to girls who earn by
industry and diligence in study, by purity of heart and blamelessness
of life, the right to attention and respect.
Let it be known that the woman who makes a good record in the shop
shall be respected in the home, and that she who becomes skilled in
thought and acquainted with scientific research, should find thereby
an introduction to society, that will ennoble her, and it is
impossible to describe the effect that would be produced upon the
minds of all. In this work women of culture can keep step with Jesus,
and become the benefactresses of their sex and blessings to mankind.
Let woman help woman, and society will be reformed. Let man be true to
woman, and society will be adorned.
Of late there have been going round the press pen portraits of Bulwer,
Dickens, and Carlyle. The two first are separated from their wives,
and their lives are sunless and their homes are empty. Carlyle, that
dry and laconic talker and that fierce hater, is made beautiful when
you read that he conducts his company to the pretty sitting-room of
his wife.
Mrs. Carlyle is a lively, pleasant creature, and a world of thought
beams from her dark eyes. She has learned a great deal; her father
gave her a most profound education, and she is possessed of a keen,
yet mild judgment, of which her husband himself is afraid. There she
sits sewing with her handsome fingers a new cravat for her Diogenes.
In these surroundings all feel at ease, and Carlyle becomes talkative
and witty, and displays his whole famous eloquence. Happy the man who
grows witty in the society of his wife, and finds there the atmosphere
calculated to promote his highest, grandest, and fullest development.
Mutual confidence is essential to happiness. The woman cannot confide
in the man unless he can sympathize in her tenderness; nor can the man
counsel with the woman, unless she can in some measure look upon the
world as he looks upon it.
Hence it is wisely ordained that in every great man there are to be
seen some of the feminine elements, and in every great, true woman,
there are always to be found some elements of the sterner sex.
It is because the ballot has a tendency to make woman the rival rather
than the companion of man, that it is opposed to the purest sentiments
of woman. She wishes no division, and cannot tolerate independence or
separation from the object of her love. Love cannot feed on strife.
The husband and wife are one, though God made them male and female. If
one acts in opposition to the other, domestic peace is slain on the
altar of love. What God hath joined, let not potentates or anything
else put asunder. It is an old truth, "Better a dinner of herbs where
love is, than a stalled ox with hatred therewith." Man asks that his
wife be pure, that she know but little of the deceptions and trials of
trade, that she come not in contact with the rough exterior of life,
that ever before the mind of man there might stand forth the beautiful
ideal woman, whose influence irradiates the faith, with the light of
love, in his journeyings through the wilderness.
"The family, and not the individual, is the true social integer.
This is implied in the inspired history of the creation of man.
God made of two 'one flesh,' or a unit of the human species.
Generals and legislators have not overlooked the fact that married
men and women can be relied on in emergencies where single persons
cannot be trusted. Either part of a social integer is a pledge
of the whole. The vitality of society lives in its integers. The
future grows out of its integers. They are, therefore, what ought
to be represented in its political structures. That it belongs
more properly to the man than to the woman to represent the
family, is manifest from revelation. 'The head of the woman is the
man, whom she is commanded to obey.'"