HOW TO START IN BUSINESS
“THAT’S a pretty tidy sum,” said the old man; “not that the amount makes
much difference while you are about it. It is just as easy to make
twenty thousand pounds as twenty thousand pence, if you are on the right
track. Now, I have been turning you two young chaps over in my mind, and
the question is, what are you fit for that has got money in it? I should
judge you,” turning to Alec, “to have a good loud voice!”
Without a word Alec stood up and gave a coo-ee like a steam whistle, a
screech that could have been heard across the water at North Shore, and
woke up the Domain sleepers like the sound of the last trump.
“That will do,” said the old man. “What a pair of bellows you must have!
Now, the first thing you must do is to start in business.”
“But that will require capital, whatever we choose,” observed Huey.
“That is where you make the mistake, my lad. When a man starts in
business with capital, the chances are ten to one he loses it. If a
chap’s smart enough for business, he’s smart enough to start without
capital. Now, money is made to be lost by the mug and picked up by the
man of talent.”
“Then if no money is wanted, how do you start?”
“On credit, my lad, and the more you owe to the right people the safer
you are. Who will help you when you are hard pushed? Your friend? Not
a bit of it. Your creditors! Who will push your business, bring you
customers, put you in the way of a good deal? Your creditors. No man
ever failed for debt. It was for not owing enough! Why, half Sydney
firms would be wound up to-morrow but for their wise foresight in owing
too much. The creditors dare not face the loss, so they keep them going.
As for the squatters in the country, from what I hear there is not one in
a score could pay ten shillings in the pound, and they are as jolly as
sand-boys and as happy as kings. Does the price of wool trouble them?
Not much!”
“And is it wise to pay nobody?”
“No, that is a fool’s game! A small creditor is a small enemy, while a
big creditor is a big friend. It’s the same with appropriating. Never
take a few paltry pounds, you may get seven years. It is just as simple
to start a rotten company and scoop thousands—just as easy and no risk;
only fools can’t see it. And who gets in quod? The little fishes or the
big ones? Why, the little fishes all the time? Why, the law is a net
made so delicate that all the big sharks can break through; the only
question is, will you be a man eaten or a man-eater?
“It’s all the foolishness and humbug we are taught while we are boys that
spoils life for most men. They start out at a game they don’t
understand, with the certainty they do. Mind you, I’m not saying things
are not pretty well as they are, for if there were no mugs where would
our turn come in?”
Huey felt at first a certain revolt and repugnance to the doctrines of
Soft Sam, but little by little the feeling wore off. The calm certainty
of the speaker, the evidence he had of the success of his plans, all told
with force. How could he argue against success; he, who so far felt
himself a failure? A thought came into his mind how One was in old time
taken to a pinnacle of the Temple, and the kingdoms of the world shown to
him—“All these will I give you if you will bow down and worship me.”
But he put the recollection aside as not suited to the affairs of
practical life.
Alec, on his side, received all these new maxims like new milk.
To him they were as the keys of Heaven—self-evident propositions that he
wondered had never struck him before.
“Well, what had we better start?”
“I think book-making would do to begin with,” said Sam, “you have got a
good voice and plenty of muscle,” turning to Alec. “I think that’s about
your dart.”
“But I know nothing of the business,” replied Alec, despondingly.
“There you go again! Did you think I expected you did? That’s another
foolishness folks have got in their head, that you have to understand a
thing before you try it. Does the clever miner know where the gold is
when he sinks a shaft? Not a bit of it. Does the old hand that knows
all the points strike it rich? Not a bit of it. It’s the mug that comes
along and does not know pyrites from peas-pudding that hits the patch! I
suppose you know a horse from a cow?”
“I should say so!” said Alec.
“Then that’s all you want to know to be a bookmaker. Directly you begin
to know one horse from another you commence to be too clever; you are
inclined to back your fancy on your own hook, and it’s very soon all up
with you.”
“But don’t you have to make a book? Is there not some science or skill
in taking the proper bets, or hedging, or something of that kind?”
“There is nothing in it that a baby can’t learn in five minutes. You
back the field against the public all the time, and the public all finish
by losing their money; you always finish by getting it.”
“But bow much shall I make? Shall I get £20,000?”
“No, I don’t say you will. I only said this was to commence with. You
might make a thousand a year. Will that suit till I can put you on a lay
for the other?”
Would it suit? A lad who had been earning so far a few shillings a week
with the life of a working bullock! Would it suit? Was honey sweet in
the mouth; was pleasure better than pain? Alec just closed with the
offer right away, and had to get up and shake hands with Soft Sam on the
strength of it.
“But I must warn you,” continued Sam, “that it is not all beer and
skittles. It will be awkward if the favourites win the first few races,
because you will have to cut and run, and your business is as good as
done for in that line for the future. But there is no good meeting
trouble half-way. I’ll see you launched when the game is pretty right.
All the same, it is as well to be prepared for a belting.”
“I’m ready,” said Alec. “I can stand hard knocks with anybody.”
Huey had said nothing to all this. The possibility of being hunted as a
blackleg was not tempting to him, so he turned a look on Soft Sam, which
the old gentleman seemed to understand.
“I suppose now the hard knocks and the clearing racket are hardly in your
line?”
“I can’t say they are,” answered Huey.
“So I thought. You want a gentlemanly occupation, without risk, no
trouble to speak of, and bags full of profit?”
“That’s just about my complaint.”
“Then here’s the very thing? You must start as a turf prophet. You have
been on a newspaper and can string words together, and that is what is
wanted.”
“But I know no more about horses or who is likely to win than Cook’s
statue over there.”
“No more does any other turf prophet. Do you think that even if they
knew one certainty they would not go and pawn their shirts, make their
pile, and retire to private life? Do you think these men are what they
call philanthropists, who sell turf knowledge, equal to bank-notes, to
the first comers, at five bob a head? Of course the public does—that Al
copper-fastened fool, the public. You will have to learn the
‘pitch’—that’s easy. Always refer to the ‘stable,’ what the stable says,
what the stable think. And when your tip loses, as it generally will,
‘Very sorry I could not tell you sooner. But at the last moment the
stable decided to run him stiff. Could not get the money on. Ring was
afraid of him. So they are saving him. Will be a dead bird for sure the
next handicap, and I shall have the straight wire, you make no error.’
That’s about the total of it; of course you will vary it a bit, just for
variety, ‘The stable has been forestalled; the owner is saving him for
the Cup, and the stable did not know till the last moment. The jockey
was got at.’ Or, supposing it’s a mare, then it was ‘one of her off
days.’ The fact is, the game is too simple for a smart man. To an old
fisherman it is like catching yellowtail.”
“But five shillings a tip won’t bring in much, I should think, unless the
yellowtail you speak of are very numerous,” objected Huey.
“The five bobs, as you say, do not amount to much; hardly pay the
advertising. The profit is another branch of the business. It stands to
reason that the mugs who go to turf prophets are about the muggiest of
mugs there are. This is what makes the business such a soft thing.
Suppose a race is coming off with eleven horses entered and five of them
possible winners; then to five different mugs you give five different
‘extra special’ tips, in consideration of which you are to stand in free
for half the winnings. One mug wins and shares, and swears by you ever
after, or at least till you have cleaned him out. As for the others, you
smooth them down as per usual—horse could have done it easy, his time at
private trials was seconds under, but stable was not on the job!”
“It seems to me that this kind of thing is what is called swindling?”
“You can call it that if you like,” said Soft Sam, smiling. “Most people
call it business, and very good business too. There is only one thing
you have to get to make a start.”
“And what is that?” asked Huey, with a tone of misgiving, as he
remembered the diminished state of his finances.
“A name. The mugs like a good name. Let me think,” and the old
gentleman paused. “Fred Archer was called the ‘Tinman,’ that will do as
well as another, and it sounds ’cute. Now come along, lads, let’s make a
start. We must have a fresh rig-out to begin with.”
With this the old man led the way, and in a few minutes conducted the
young men to the interior of a tailoring establishment much patronized by
the fancy. At the suggestion of Soft Sam an order was left for a
complete outfit of the latest fashion in sporting garments. No payment
was asked for; the presence of the old gentleman appearing to smooth all
difficulties.
On leaving the shop Soft Sam said—
“You can pay them when you are in funds. The price will be pretty stiff,
but after this they will always serve you on the same terms; and remember
this, and paste it in your hat: If you have only one friend in the world
let him be a tailor.”