“The judge was so completely charmed by Lottie’s brilliant conversation
and sparkling wit that he forgot all about the business of his court,
and consequently the thirty minute recess was prolonged to an hour, and
probably would have gone on indefinitely, but Mr. Quillet reminded him
of the McCay case, which had been set for trial that day.
“‘Ah, yes, Mr. Quillet,’ said the judge, as he looked at his watch and
rose from his seat, ‘I crave your pardon; I was so much fascinated with
Miss Wallingford’s conversation that I had entirely lost sight of
business. She is the most intellectual woman I ever met. Then her beauty
is equal to her talent; the truth is, she is an animated library.’
“‘How could she be otherwise, after being tutored by old Rockland? I
hope she is not as cold-hearted as that old iceberg.’
“‘No woman with such a face as hers ever possessed a cold heart, for I
think she is the most beautiful woman I ever saw.’
“This conversation was carried on in an undertone, close to where I sat,
and notwithstanding I had often heard extravagant encomiums passed on
Lottie’s beauty and intellect, I felt a sensation of pleasure at hearing
her praised by a man possessing such a solid mind as Judge Flipout. I
could scarcely realize the favors that fortune had showered on me, by
enabling me to win the heart of a woman whose brilliant mind and
dazzling beauty had won the admiration of all who beheld her.
“‘The State _vs_. McCay,’ said the judge, as he resumed his seat and
began to turn the leaves of the trial docket.
“‘Ready for the State,’ replied Mr. Quillet.
“‘Bring in the prisoner, Mr. Sheriff,’ observed the judge.
“That officer went into an antechamber and soon returned, followed by a
pale-faced little man, whose emaciated appearance indicated the presence
of severe illness. He was leaning on the arm of his wife, whose haggard
features and sunken eyes exhibited unmistakable evidence of intense
suffering. She held a sickly looking infant against her breast with one
arm, while she supported her husband with the other. She was followed by
two pale-faced little girls, about three years old, who clung to the
tattered skirts of the faded calico dress worn by their mother. They
were bright-eyed, pretty little timid twins, whose pinched features told
a tale of want, misery and starvation as plain as print.
“‘Who is your attorney, Mr. McCay?’ inquired the judge, as he began to
rub the left side of his nose with the forefinger of his left hand,
which he always did when vexed about anything.
“‘I have no attorney, sir,’ replied the defendant meekly; ‘I did not
have any money to pay a lawyer to defend me.’
“Lottie instantly rose and whispered to Colonel Buff, a lawyer of
considerable reputation:
“‘Defend that unfortunate man, Colonel Buff, and I will compensate you
liberally.’
“The attorney then stepped forward and announced himself as attorney for
the defense.
“After the indictment was read, the prosecuting witness was ordered to
take the stand. He was a large, red-faced man, with a hangdog look on
his countenance, while an offensive scent of mean whisky and tobacco
pervaded the atmosphere for ten feet in every direction from his filthy
body. His evidence was in substance as follows:
“‘I was passing along the street near defendant’s residence with a wagon
loaded with bacon, and when near his house, one of the wheels of the
wagon broke down, causing one of the casks to roll out; falling against
the curb-stone, it burst and scattered the meat on the ground. The
defendant came and proposed to purchase a side of the bacon, stating
that his wife and children were on the verge of starvation, caused by
the sickness of himself and wife. I was at first disposed to make the
trade with him, and perhaps would have done so, but I soon discovered
that he did not have any money to pay for the meat. He begged me to sell
it to him on a short credit, making at the same time a most solemn
promise that he would pay me as soon as he got able to work. I of course
declined to accept his proposition; he then offered to pawn his coat,
hat and pocket-knife with me as a security that I should have the money.
I rejected this nonsensical offer, and went away to get my wagon wheel
mended at a shop hard by; when I returned I noticed that one of the
sides of bacon had been cut, and a large piece of it was missing. I went
immediately to the defendant’s residence, where I found the stolen bacon
in a pot which was boiling on the fire. I took it, and, replacing it in
the spot where it had been cut away, found it exactly fitted--consequently
I knew it was my meat.’
“‘We rest our case here, if the court please,’ said Mr. Quillet, as the
villainous looking witness retired from the stand.
“‘Have you any witnesses for the defense, Colonel Buff?’ inquired the
judge.
“‘We will introduce Mrs. McCay for the defense,’ replied Buff.
“The poor woman staggered into the witness box, while the half-starved
babe was vainly endeavoring to draw a little nourishment from her
breast.
“‘Mrs. McCay,’ said Colonel Buff, ‘please tell the court and jury all
you know about this case.’
“She wiped the fast falling tears from her pale cheeks with the sleeve
of her tattered dress, and in a tremulous voice mingled with broken
sobs, said:
“‘My husband is a railway engineer, and when he was able to work, we did
not want for anything; but his health failed, and he was compelled to
give up his situation; we did not suffer for food then until I fell ill.
When we both lost our health, we were driven to the necessity of selling
everything we had in order to buy provisions and medicines. Our
condition continued to grow worse until we were driven to the very brink
of starvation, when a beautiful angel visited our humble home, and
furnished us everything necessary to make us comfortable. She continued
to visit our house every day, supplying all our wants, and she engaged
the services of a good, kind doctor, who came to see us often, and gave
us his medicine and his kind attention. So long as that beautiful angel
visited our home, my husband’s health continued to improve, because she
not only furnished all the provisions and medicine that we needed, but
she was such a kind, gentle nurse, that we all improved while she was
with us; but they put the beautiful angel in jail, and she never came
to visit us any more.’
“‘Edward, that was Viola,’ said Lottie, as she seized my arm and smiled
through her tears; ‘Heaven bless that dear girl, do you think now she
ever committed murder?’
“‘Before the great Creator, I declare she is not guilty!’
“Mrs. McCay paused a moment to wipe the tears away; while Flipout put
the friction heavy on his nose.
“‘My father died,’ continued the witness, ‘leaving an estate of ten
thousand dollars, and I, being his only child, was entitled to all the
money, which (had I received it) would have placed us beyond the reach
of want; but the money was paid into the hands of Mr. Anterson, the
public administrator, who kept it and refused to pay it to me.’
“‘If the court please,’ said Mr. Quillet, ‘while I deeply sympathize
with this unfortunate woman, I must insist that her statement cannot be
admitted as evidence in this case.’
“‘I concur with my learned friend,’ said Colonel Buff, ‘and shall not
insist on her statement as testimony unless she can tell us something
directly bearing on the case.’
“Then, addressing the witness, Colonel Buff propounded the following
question:
“‘Mrs. McCay, do you know anything about the slice of bacon that is
alleged to have been stolen?’
“‘My husband brought home a small piece of bacon, telling me----’
“‘Stop,’ said Quillet, ‘don’t tell anything about what your husband
said.’
“‘Then I have nothing more to tell, if you refuse to hear what my
husband said, though I know he did not steal the bacon.’
“‘How do you know he did not steal it?
“‘Because he told me so.’
“‘We ask your Honor to exclude what defendant said,’ exclaimed Quillet.
“‘Certainly,’ replied the judge, ‘the statements of defendant will not
go to the jury.’
“‘Any more witnesses, Colonel Buff?’ inquired the court.
“After a hurried consultation with his client, the colonel rose and
addressed the court:
“‘If your Honor please, I have advised the defendant to withdraw his
plea of not guilty and throw himself on the mercy of the court, which he
has consented to do. I have been induced to take this course because the
jury could not, consistently with their oaths, acquit the prisoner in
the face of the evidence. This is a case which appeals in the strongest
terms to the mercy of the court, and I am sorry that your Honor does not
possess the power to discharge the prisoner, because I do
conscientiously believe the circumstances would justify your Honor in a
course of that kind, and that you would not hesitate to do it if you had
the legal authority.’
“‘Mr. McCay,’ said the judge, ‘have you any reason to urge against the
sentence of the court?’
“The prisoner rose to his feet with trembling limbs, leaning against a
table to steady himself, and said:
“‘The prosecuting witness has sworn falsely--I did not steal his bacon;
he promised that if I would watch his property until he could go to the
shop and get his wagon wheel mended he would give me enough of the meat
for our dinner. I agreed to remain and watch the wagon until his return,
and with this understanding he went away, leaving me with the property.
Some time after he went away I cut off a few pounds of the bacon and
carried it home, as I knew my little children were very hungry,
intending to go immediately back to my post, but before I had time to
return the witness came to my house in a great passion, and charged me
with stealing the bacon.’
“As the unfortunate man resumed his seat, Flipout began to rub both
sides of his nose furiously and said:
“‘The duty which the law imposes upon me in cases of this nature is a
very painful one to perform. I cannot escape it, though much I wish I
could. The court will take the liberty to say that the prosecuting
witness in this case has shown himself to be a cruel, unfeeling wretch,
and it is very sorry that it has not power to inflict upon him such
punishment as his meanness so richly merits. The punishment in this case
is about to fall on the wrong man, consequently the court will make it
as light as possible. The sentence of the court is that the defendant be
imprisoned in the penitentiary for two years.’
“Lottie now drew her chair near a table, seized a pen, and began to
write very rapidly, and continued until she had covered two sheets of
paper; then she directed me to hand it to the judge. He adjusted his
spectacles and read the document.
“‘Mr. Quillet,’ said Flipout, ‘Miss Wallingford has prepared a truthful
history of this case, with a petition asking the Governor to grant a
pardon, and I shall sign it with a great deal of pleasure, and hope you
will do likewise.’
“‘Indeed, sir, you could not ask me to do anything that would afford me
more gratification.’
“The judge and Mr. Quillet placed their signatures to the paper, then
every lawyer in the room promptly stepped forward and signed it.
“‘Now, Edward,’ said Lottie, ‘take this document to the telegraph
office, have it sent by wire immediately at my expense, and tell them to
send the answer to me without delay.’
“I gladly obeyed her instructions, and more than that, I hurried to Mr.
Rockland’s office and prevailed on him to send a private dispatch to the
Governor, requesting a favorable consideration of the petition, knowing
that the Governor would do anything reasonable to accommodate his friend
Rockland.
“As soon as I had sent off the dispatches I again made my appearance in
the court-room, supposing Lottie would be ready to return home; but in
that respect I was very much disappointed.
“‘The next case on the docket, Mr. Quillet, is the State against
Anterson,’ said the judge.
“‘We are ready for the State,’ replied Quillet.
“‘Is the defendant in court, Mr. Sheriff?’
“‘Yes,’ replied a fat short man, whose skin appeared to be stretched to
its utmost capacity in the effort to cover his ponderous body.
“Mr. Anterson then moved to the front with as much dignity as ever
General Washington possessed, and announced himself ready for trial. He
was exquisitely dressed in glossy black cloth, cut in the most approved
style, while a large ring set with diamonds sparkled on one of his
fingers, and a costly diamond pin glistened on his bosom. His boots were
polished until they looked like the face of a mirror, and his hair was
sleek, oily, and neatly combed; his little soft hands were as white as
those of a delicate lady, and he was the most innocent, harmless looking
little man I ever beheld. The indictment charged this innocent little
man with embezzling the trifling sum of ninety thousand dollars of money
belonging to sundry widows and orphans of the good city of Memphis,
county of Shelby, State of Tennessee. Nineteen other bills of a similar
character had been presented against that distinguished little
gentleman, charging him with embezzlement. The fact is, he had made a
clean sweep of something near three hundred thousand dollars of trust
funds that had come into his hands as public administrator.
“‘Who are your attorneys in this case, Mr. Anterson?’ inquired his
Honor.
“With a dignified wave of his hand he pointed toward a dozen lawyers who
had assembled near their distinguished client.
“‘You seem to be well supplied with attorneys, sir,’ observed the judge,
as he renewed the friction on his nose.
“‘My attorneys are not all present yet, sir,’ said the handsome little
man, ‘but we can send for Mr. Rockland and Mr. Bullger, so as to have
them here in a few minutes.’
“‘Are you ready to proceed with the case now, gentlemen?’ inquired
Flipout, addressing the brigade of lawyers.
“‘I believe we are ready,’ replied Mr. Fullbrain, a red-faced lawyer,
with large Roman nose, broad mouth and massive jaws. This distinguished
lawyer was commonly called Hogjaw, which nickname had been suggested by
the striking resemblance between his jaw and that of a fat Berkshire
hog.
“‘We make a motion to quash the indictment in this case, if your Honor
please,’ said Hogjaw, as he held the bill up before the court.
“‘State the grounds of your motion, if you please, Mr. Fullbrain,’
exclaimed the judge impatiently, as he began to warm up his nose with
his finger, while his keen black eyes sparkled with anger.
“Mr. Quillet began to pace up and down the floor with his hands thrust
deep in his pockets, while a defiant expression mantled his face. The
clerks dropped their pens and moved to the front so as to witness the
great brain-battle soon to be waged, while a motley crowd of idlers
moved like an ocean wave toward the combatants, eager to view the
interesting contest.
“Hogjaw surveyed the crowd for a moment, slowly running his eyes over
the eager throng, as if inviting them to prepare for the intellectual
banquet which he was about to dish out to them; then turning toward the
court, he swelled out his brawny chest, as if taking in a supply of
wind, which was to be converted into a terrific tornado, with which he
expected to blow the attorney-general and his little bill of indictment
out of the court-house.
“‘If your Honor please,’ began Hogjaw, ‘we think there is a fatal defect
in this bill of indictment, a patent incurable defect which must appear
as clear as the sun at noontide to the mind of an intelligent court. It
is a source of indescribable regret to me, sir, to find such a glaring
defect in this bill, as we would have greatly preferred to try this case
on its merits, because we are happy to be able to inform your Honor that
we are prepared to vindicate the innocence of our client. His
distinguished reputation for honor and unblemished integrity--his
lacerated feelings--his wounded pride--all cry aloud for redress. We
feel an abiding confidence in our ability to clear our distinguished
client with the brilliant array of witnesses who are ready to testify to
his innocence, but we find the bill of indictment so fatally defective
that we are driven to the necessity of making the motion to quash. We
would gladly have avoided this course but for the duty which we owe to
the legal profession, which tells us that such mistakes should not be
encouraged or countenanced by lawyers who profess to have such a feeling
as self-respect. Who is the man intended to be indicted under this bill?
yes, who is the man? that is the question I dare to ask of this
honorable court. This innocent, much injured man has been seized and
ruthlessly dragged away from the bosom of his family, and treated as a
common malefactor, all of which unpardonable wrongs have been inflicted
upon him by the officers of the law acting under a mistaken belief that
the grand jury had presented a bill of indictment, into open court
against him. Now, sir, I boldly assert in the presence of this
honorable court and high Heaven that no such thing has ever been done.
A thing, a scrap of worthless paper, is filed here, which ignorant
people might be deceived into believing was a bill of indictment, but
you cannot cram such nonsense into the brains of sensible men. My
client’s name is Anterson, which name I unhesitatingly assert cannot be
spelled without a _t_, and if any man under the blue vault of Heaven
will show me a _t_ in connection with the name on this indictment, why,
then, I promise to surrender the case. Doubtless the writer of this bill
was endeavoring to make a _t_ when that little deformed animal was made,
but I have the temerity to assert that no gentleman with as much as a
thimble full of brains in his head, or an ounce of self-respect in his
heart, would undertake to call that animal a _t_ in open court. So far
as civilization extends, the English language is written and spoken, and
that elegant language is composed of certain letters whose office it is
to represent certain sounds. The twentieth letter in our alphabet is
called _t_, which letter is made with a perpendicular stroke of the pen,
then a horizontal stroke, making a cross near the top end of the upright
line. Now we all know that the letter cannot be made without the cross.
Your Honor is doubtless familiar with the wise and charming compositions
of the celebrated poet Ramsquadlar, whose reputation is co-extensive
with the world. That distinguished bard said:
“‘“When you can extract the salt from the sea,
Then without a cross can you make a t.
As sure as fog doth rise, the rain will fall,
_T_ without a cross is no _t_ at all.”
“‘Now, sir, if that eminent poet was correct in his beautiful
composition, which I presume no one will be so bold as to doubt, I think
it settles the hash (if I may be allowed the expression) with the motion
now under consideration. If a _t_ without a cross is no _t_ at all, then
it follows, as a matter of course, that no legal indictment has been
filed against my client. If your Honor concedes that the _t_ is not
crossed--and that is too plain to admit of doubt--why then, of course,
the motion to quash must prevail.’
“After haranguing the court for an hour, Hogjaw dropped, overcome with
exhaustion, into his seat, while the brother members crowded round him
to offer their congratulations. One fanned his red face, another brought
him a glass of whisky and water, a third brought a napkin, while all the
rest appeared to be anxious to render some friendly aid.
“Mr. Quillet delivered an eloquent and learned argument against the
motion, insisting that the defect was such as could be cured by
amendment; but he was forced to confess that the _t_ had not been
crossed. It was very plain to be seen that the attorney-general was
considerably embarrassed, and a lack of confidence appeared on his face,
while his actions showed that he had an up-hill business.
“As soon as Mr. Quillet resumed his seat, Mr. Rockland, who had been
silently watching the progress of the argument, stepped forward and
began to address the court, favoring the motion to quash. He commenced
by a learned dissertation on the laws of creation which prevailed
anterior to the existence of Adam, then gave a graphic sketch of the
rules which God laid down for the government of Eden, showing the awful
consequences which had resulted from a disobedience of those holy laws.
He then came down to the time of Moses, giving a brilliant history of
the strict discipline which that great leader enforced in his
magnificent army of exodusters, while marching out of the filthy land of
Egypt; then taking up the laws of the Medes and Persians, he explained
them to the satisfaction of the court; showing clearly wherein they
applied particularly to the case under consideration. The renowned
advocate then paid his respects to the Koran, citing many passages which
he insisted had a direct bearing on the question now before the court;
passing on thence to the birth of Christ, he descanted at large on the
meekness and suffering of the great Saviour of mankind; and when he
began to advert to the vulgar mob of Jews who clamored for the innocent
blood of Christ, he compared them to the motley crowd of ill-bred
wretches who were clamoring for the innocent blood of Mr. Anterson. When
he plunged into the English law, he threw book after book behind him,
while he hurled precedents and quotations at the head of the court so
thick and rapidly that the judge became completely bewildered. After Mr.
Rockland had exhausted the laws of England, he made a raid off the
American decisions, pouring a mighty deluge of learning into the ears of
the court; then wound up with such a burst of eloquence as to bring
tears from the audience, and confusion to the mind of the court; he then
sank back in his seat, and wiped the perspiration from his brow, and
awaited the decision of the court.
“Flipout dropped his head on his hands and remained silent for several
moments, evidently bewildered and confused by the vast waves of learning
that had rolled over him. At length he rose up, rubbed both sides of his
nose with his fingers, re-adjusted his spectacles, coughed two or three
times, looked up at the ceiling as if he thought it were going to fall
down on his head, then delivered the following learned opinion:
“‘The court has listened with exquisite pleasure to the lucid and
learned argument made by the attorneys, and it feels profoundly thankful
to those wise gentlemen for the valuable assistance which they have
rendered in that respect. This case presents many strange and difficult
features, such as we very seldom meet with in this country. The court is
seriously impressed with the importance of this very peculiar case,
because it involves the fortunes of many poor, destitute widows and
starving orphans. The defendant is charged with the embezzlement of
large sums of money belonging to a class of unfortunate people whose
helpless condition cries aloud to the court for protection. The law is
made to restrain the strong and to protect the helpless, and it is the
duty of the court to enforce the law in such a manner as to attain the
end which the makers had in view when the statutes were passed.
Unscrupulous men who wantonly trample on the law should have the
severest penalties pronounced against them; but we must not lose sight
of the fact that no man can be compelled to answer for a felony except
upon an indictment presented in open court by a grand jury. The law
presumes every man to be innocent until such presumption is overthrown
by competent proof; and we all remember the Scriptural maxim that
declares it is better that ninety-and-nine guilty persons should escape
than that one innocent man should suffer. This being the case, it
behooves us to exercise great caution in the administration of the laws.
It is contended by the able counsel for the defense that this
indictment is fatally defective, because the letter t has no cross, and
many learned decisions have been cited to sustain that view. The court
had occasion, at a former term, to examine the authorities touching this
identical question, and it considers that a very fortunate circumstance,
as it will greatly aid the court in arriving at a correct conclusion in
regard to the case now under consideration. In the celebrated case of
Hikokolochuckle _vs_. Lokoklohichuckle, it was held that all the letters
necessary to spell the defendant’s name must appear plainly written, so
that a man of ordinary understanding could easily determine what name
was intended. Chief-justice Wangdoodle, in delivering the opinion in
that case, said that it was a deplorable fact that men of learning very
frequently fell into the despicable habit of neglecting to cross their
_t’s_ and dot their _i’s_. In the case of Changtookoo _vs_.
Ronder-bangtookoo, which was tried in the Celestial Empire, before the
eminent Chief-justice Shooflytoto, it was held that the twelfth letter
in the alphabet was entitled to ten tails and seven horns, and that it
could not be considered complete if either of those tails or horns was
left off. The points decided in that case appear to have a direct
bearing on the one now before this court. The letter referred to in that
famous case is not made with a pen, as it is in this country, but by
drowning a large battle spider in black ink, and then carefully setting
him down on white paper. The legs of the spider correspond exactly with
the number of tails and horns necessary to constitute the letter. In the
case referred to, it appeared that the spider which was used in making
the letter had unfortunately lost a leg in a combat with a bumblebee,
which was not discovered by the writer, consequently the letter had only
six tails, when it should have had seven. Owing to that fatal defect,
the plaintiff lost his case, which involved an immense fortune. Now, if
the failure to make all the tails and horns rendered that letter
defective, it would seem that a failure to cross the letter _t_ in this
case would be fatal. Spotted Tail, the renowned Indian chief, in his
remarkable communications to the President of the United States, was
very careful to cross his _t’s_ and dot his _i’s_; therefore it is the
opinion of this court that if an ignorant savage can afford to dot his
_i’s_ and cross his _t’s_ the attorney for the State should be required
to do likewise. Entertaining this view of the case, the court feels
conscientiously bound to sustain the motion. Let the indictment be
quashed.’
“‘I suppose,’ said Hogjaw, ‘that all the other bills may be considered
as disposed of by this judgment, as they are all in the same category?’
“‘Yes, let all the bills be considered quashed.’
“A grand rush was made toward Mr. Anterson by the lawyers and
spectators, who showered congratulations thick and rapid. Every one
seemed to be eager to shake his hand, and to offer obsequious
congratulations. The little embezzler was placed in a carriage and
driven to a saloon, where champagne sparkled--corks flew in all
directions--toasts were drunk, and shouts of joy and hilarious laughter
were wafted on the breeze.
“The poor widow and helpless orphans went on starving all the same. The
world wags on, the sun continues to shine, the moon blushes not, the
rich robber revels in stolen wealth, while Justice spreads her white
wings and bids the world farewell. The starving wretch who steals a
slice of meat to feed his starving children must expiate the crime in
the penitentiary, while he who steals a million is champagned and
worshiped, lionized and petted.
“Lottie gave me the benefit of her opinion about courts, lawyers and
judges, with a vengeance, and that opinion was anything but a compliment
to that class. When court adjourned she beckoned me to follow her, and I
knew from the bright sparkle of her pretty eyes, and the manner in which
the corners of her mouth hung down, that she had something of importance
to communicate. I followed her into a small antechamber adjoining the
court-room, where I saw Mrs. McCay weeping over her husband, while the
two pretty little twins were sound asleep on the floor.
“‘Oh! Charley,’ said the unfortunate woman, as she threw her arms around
her husband’s neck, ‘if they take you to prison now, it will kill you.
You have been so ill, and you are now so weak, that you cannot live if
they start with you to the penitentiary in your present condition.’
“‘Let me die, then; why should I care to live in a world that is
overflowed with injustice? I am unable to work any more, therefore it
would be better for me to be out of the way!’
“‘Dear Charley, please do not talk that way, for my poor heart is
breaking! If they take you to the penitentiary, they may take me to my
grave, for it will kill me to lose you!’
“‘They are not going to take him to the penitentiary yet a while,’ said
Lottie, as she lifted Mrs. McCay’s little babe in her arms; ‘I have come
to take you and your good husband home; so come along, for the carriage
is waiting at the door.’
“Mrs. McCay wiped the tears from her eyes and began to stare at Lottie
in a bewildered manner.
“‘We cannot go home now, because the sheriff was here a moment ago, and
said he would be back soon to take my husband to jail. He told me he was
going to take Charley to the penitentiary in the morning.’
“‘But I tell you, Mrs. McCay, that they shall not take your husband to
prison; he is a free man--here is a dispatch from the Governor granting
a full pardon, and your husband can go where he pleases; so come along
and get in the carriage!’
“Mr. McCay fell on his knees at Lottie’s feet, seized her hand and
pressed it to his lips, while his wife knelt on the other side and took
the other hand.
“‘You are a dear angel!’ exclaimed the weeping woman as she pressed
Lottie’s hand to her lips. ‘Heaven bless you, we will be your slaves as
long as we live!’
“‘No, you will not be my slaves, either, but you shall be my good
friends.’
“The whole family was crowded into the carriage, which forced me to take
a seat by the driver. Lottie directed the coachman to stop at the
nearest provision store, where she handed the salesman a bill of
provisions, with orders to have them immediately sent to Mr. McCay’s
residence. Soon after we deposited the family at the front gate a dray
stopped, and the driver began to place the provisions on the pavement in
front of the house. A barrel of flour, a barrel of sugar, a sack of
coffee and a cask of hams, with numerous other packages, were soon
scattered about on the pavement.
“‘Edward,’ said Lottie, as she cast one of her peculiarly sweet smiles
on me, ‘did you ever read Dickens on the circumlocution office?’
“‘Yes,’ I replied.
“‘Very well, then you will understand my meaning when I tell you I have
started a circumlocution office of my own.’
“‘How is that?’
“‘Mr. Anterson steals ten thousand dollars from Mrs. McCay, and gives
Mr. Rockland part of the money to keep him (Anterson) out of the
penitentiary; Mr. Rockland gives me the money, I purchase provisions
with it, and deliver them to Mrs. McCay.’
“‘That is circumlocution double and twisted!’
“We then took leave of the family who had been made happy by Lottie’s
bounty, and drove home. I attempted to embrace Lottie as I assisted her
from the carriage.
“‘Stop, sir!’ she said, ‘remember the terms of our compact--no love
demonstrations until Viola is clear!’