_Of his conversion and carriage when fellow of ♦the college._
♦ duplicate word “the” removed
THE great work of _conversion_, was not ♦carried on upon his soul, in
that dreadful manner that it is upon some, but the Lord was pleased,
sweetly, to unlock his heart, by the exemplary life, and heavenly
discourse of a young man in the college whose heart God had inflamed
with love to his soul. He quickly made an attempt upon this young
man, and the Spirit of God set home his councils with such power,
that they proved effectual for his awakening; being accompanied with
the preaching of Dr. _Hill_, and Dr. _Arrowsmith_, together with the
reading of Mr. _Baxter_’s Saints Everlasting Rest.
♦ “carcarried” replaced with “carried”
Now a mighty alteration might be discerned in him. He did not taste so
much sweetness in those kind of studies, which he so greedily employed
himself in as formerly. He began to pity them who ♦were curious in
their enquiries after every thing, but that which is most needful,
_Christ_, and themselves; and that which sometimes was his gain he
now counted loss for Christ. Not that he looked upon human learning
as useless; but when not improved for Christ? He looked upon wisdom as
folly, and learning as madness, and that which would make one more like
the devil.
♦ “where” replaced with “were”
Mr. _Janeway_ now considered how he might best improve what he did know,
and turn all his studies into the right channel: grace did not take him
off from, but made him more diligent and spiritual in his study. And
now Christ was at the end of every thing: how did he contrive how he
might most express his love and thankfulness to him who had brought him
out of darkness into his marvellous light! To this end he sent up and
down packets of letters, in which, he discoursed so substantially of
the great things of God, that it would not at all have unbecome some
grey head to have owned what he wrote.
He was not a little like _Elihu_, in whose words he used to excuse
his freedom with persons of years. He said, _days should speak, and
multitude of years should teach wisdom; but there is a spirit in a man,
and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding; I am
full of matter, the spirit within me constraineth me: behold my belly
is as wine which hath no vent, it is ready to burst like new bottles, I
will speak that I may be refreshed_. He could not but speak the things
which he had seen and heard, and invite all the world, to taste and see
how good the Lord is.
He began first with his relations, begging them to think of their
immortal souls, and to lay in speedy provisions for eternity. And what
pathetic expressions did he use, what vehement expostulations?
Read what his language was (when he was between _eighteen_ and
_nineteen_ years old) in a letter to a friend that had the care of
many children.
SIR,
YOUR _charge is great upon a temporal account, but greater upon a
spiritual. Out of an earnest desire of the good of souls and your
own joy and peace, I importunately request that you should have a
great care of your children, and be often dropping in some wholesome
admonitions; and this I humbly, with submission to your judgment in
it, commend to you: not to admonish them always together, but likewise
privately one by one. Wherein you may please to press upon ♦them
natural corruption, the necessity of regeneration, the excellency of
Christ, and how unspeakably lovely it is to see young ones setting out
for heaven. This way I think may do most good, having had experience
of it myself in some small measure; God grant that all may work for
the edifying of those who are committed to you. I leave you under the
protection of him that hath loved us, and given himself for us._
♦ “their” replaced with “them” per Errata
When he was about twenty years old, he was made fellow of the college,
which did not a little advance those noble projects which he had for
the interest of the _Lord Christ_. Then how sweetly would he insinuate
into the young ones desiring to carry as many of them as possible with
him to heaven. Many attempts he made upon some of the same house, that
he might season them with grace, and animate those who were _looking
towards heaven_. And as for his own relations, never was there a more
compassionate and tender-hearted brother. How many pathetical letters
did he send to them! And how did he follow them with _prayers_ and
_tears_.
Read what his heart was, in the following lines.
“Distance of place cannot at all lessen that natural bond, whereby
we are conjoined in blood, neither ought to lessen that of love. Nay,
where true love is, it cannot; for love towards you I can only say this,
that I feel it better than I can express it: but love felt and not
expressed is little worth. I therefore desire to make my love manifest
in the best way I can. Let us look upon one another not as brethren
only, but as members of the same body whereof Christ is the head.
Let us therefore hunger after him, so that our close knot may meet
in Christ: if we are in Christ, and Christ in us, then we shall be
one with each other. You cannot complain for want of instruction, God
hath not been to us a dry wilderness; you have had line upon line, and
precept upon precept: he hath planted you by the rivers of water. It is
the Lord indeed who maketh fruitful, but yet we are not to stand and do
nothing. There is a crown worth looking for; seek therefore, and that
earnestly. Oh! seek by continual prayer, keep your soul in a praying
frame, this is a great and necessary duty: nay, a high and precious
privilege. If thou canst say nothing, come and lay thyself in an humble
manner before the Lord. You may believe me, for I have experienced what
I say. There is more sweetness in one glimpse of God’s love, than in
all that the world can afford. Oh! do but try; taste and see how good
the Lord is. Get into a corner and throw yourself down before the Lord,
and beg of God to make you sensible of your lost state by nature, and
of the excellency and necessity of Christ. Say, Lord give me a broken
heart, soften and melt me. Any thing in the world, so I may be enabled
to value Christ, and to accept of him, as he is tendered in the gospel.
O that I may be delivered from the wrath to come! Oh! a blessing for me,
even for me! And resolve not to be content till the Lord have in some
measure answered you. My bowels yearn towards you. Oh! that you did but
know with what affection I write now, and what prayers and tears are
mingled with these lines! The Lord set these things home, and give you
an heart to apply them! Give me leave to deal plainly, for I love your
soul so well, that I cannot bear the thoughts of the loss of it. Know
this, that except a man be born again, he cannot enter into the kingdom
of heaven; God’s favour is not to be recovered without it. This new
birth hath its foundation laid in a sense of sin, a godly sorrow for
it, and a heart set against it; without this there can be no salvation.
Look well about you, and see into yourself, and thou wilt see that thou
art at hell’s mouth without this first step, and nothing but free-grace
and pure mercy is between you and the state of the devils. The Lord
deliver us from a secure careless heart! Here you see a natural man’s
condition. How darest thou then lie down in security. Oh! look about
for your soul’s sake. Repentance itself may lose its labour, if it
be not in the right manner. Tears and groans, and prayers will not do
without Christ. Most, when they are convinced of sin, and are under
fears of hell, reform something, and thus the wound is healed, and by
this thousands fall short of heaven. For if we be not brought off from
ourselves, and our righteousness as well as our sins, we are never like
to be saved. We must see an absolute need of Christ, and give ourselves
up to him, and count all but dung and dross in comparison of Christ’s
righteousness. Look therefore for mercy only in Christ, for his sake
rely upon God’s mercy. The terms of the gospel are, repent and believe;
gracious terms! Mercy for fetching, nay, mercy for desiring, nay, for
nothing but receiving. Dost thou desire mercy and grace? I know thou
dost. Even this is the gift of God to desire, hunger after Christ;
let desires put you upon endeavour, the work itself is sweet: yea,
repentance and mourning itself hath more sweetness in it, than all the
world’s comforts. Upon repentance and believing comes justification,
after this sanctification, by the spirit dwelling in us. By this we
come to be the children of God, to be made partakers of the divine
nature, to have a suitableness to God.”