_THE £1,000,000 BANK-NOTE_
When I was twenty-seven years old, I was a mining-broker’s clerk in San
Francisco, and an expert in all the details of stock traffic. I was
alone in the world, and had nothing to depend upon but my wits and a
clean reputation; but these were setting my feet in the road to eventual
fortune, and I was content with the prospect.
My time was my own after the afternoon board, Saturdays, and I was
accustomed to put it in on a little sail-boat on the bay. One day I
ventured too far, and was carried out to sea. Just at nightfall, when
hope was about gone, I was picked up by a small brig which was bound for
London. It was a long and stormy voyage, and they made me work my
passage without pay, as a common sailor. When I stepped ashore in London
my clothes were ragged and shabby, and I had only a dollar in my pocket.
This money fed and sheltered me twenty-four hours. During the next
twenty-four I went without food and shelter.
About ten o’clock on the following morning, seedy and hungry, I was
dragging myself along Portland Place, when a child that was passing,
towed by a nursemaid, tossed a luscious big pear—minus one bite—into the
gutter. I stopped, of course, and fastened my desiring eye on that muddy
treasure. My mouth watered for it, my stomach craved it, my whole being
begged for it. But every time I made a move to get it some passing eye
detected my purpose, and of course I straightened up, then, and looked
indifferent, and pretended that I hadn’t been thinking about the pear at
all. This same thing kept happening and happening, and I couldn’t get
the pear. I was just getting desperate enough to brave all the shame,
and to seize it, when a window behind me was raised, and a gentleman
spoke out of it, saying:
‘Step in here, please.’
I was admitted by a gorgeous flunkey, and shown into a sumptuous room
where a couple of elderly gentlemen were sitting. They sent away the
servant, and made me sit down. They had just finished their breakfast,
and the sight of the remains of it almost overpowered me. I could hardly
keep my wits together in the presence of that food, but as I was not
asked to sample it, I had to bear my trouble as best I could.
Now, something had been happening there a little before, which I did not
know anything about until a good many days afterwards, but I will tell
you about it now. Those two old brothers had been having a pretty hot
argument a couple of days before, and had ended by agreeing to decide it
by a bet, which is the English way of settling everything.
You will remember that the Bank of England once issued two notes of a
million pounds each, to be used for a special purpose connected with
some public transaction with a foreign country. For some reason or other
only one of these had been used and cancelled; the other still lay in
the vaults of the Bank. Well, the brothers, chatting along, happened to
get to wondering what might be the fate of a perfectly honest and
intelligent stranger who should be turned adrift in London without a
friend, and with no money but that million-pound bank-note, and no way
to account for his being in possession of it. Brother A said he would
starve to death; Brother B said he wouldn’t. Brother A said he couldn’t
offer it at a bank or anywhere else, because he would be arrested on the
spot. So they went on disputing till Brother B said he would bet twenty
thousand pounds that the man would live thirty days, _any way_, on that
million, and keep out of jail, too. Brother A took him up. Brother B
went down to the Bank and bought that note. Just like an Englishman, you
see; pluck to the backbone. Then he dictated a letter, which one of his
clerks wrote out in a beautiful round hand, and then the two brothers
sat at the window a whole day watching for the right man to give it to.
They saw many honest faces go by that were not intelligent enough; many
that were intelligent but not honest enough; many that were both, but
the possessors were not poor enough, or, if poor enough, were not
strangers. There was always a defect, until I came along; but they
agreed that I filled the bill all around; so they elected me
unanimously, and there I was, now, waiting to know why I was called in.
They began to ask me questions about myself, and pretty soon they had my
story. Finally they told me I would answer their purpose. I said I was
sincerely glad, and asked what it was. Then one of them handed me an
envelope, and said I would find the explanation inside. I was going to
open it, but he said no; take it to my lodgings, and look it over
carefully, and not be hasty or rash. I was puzzled, and wanted to
discuss the matter a little further, but they didn’t; so I took my
leave, feeling hurt and insulted to be made the butt of what was
apparently some kind of a practical joke, and yet obliged to put up with
it, not being in circumstances to resent affronts from rich and strong
folk.
I would have picked up the pear, now, and eaten it before all the world,
but it was gone; so I had lost that by this unlucky business, and the
thought of it did not soften my feeling towards those men. As soon as I
was out of sight of that house I opened my envelope, and saw that it
contained money! My opinion of those people changed, I can tell you! I
lost not a moment, but shoved note and money into my vest-pocket, and
broke for the nearest cheap eating-house. Well, how I did eat! When at
last I couldn’t hold any more, I took out my money and unfolded it, took
one glimpse and nearly fainted. Five millions of dollars! Why, it made
my head swim.
I must have sat there stunned and blinking at the note as much as a
minute before I came rightly to myself again. The first thing I noticed,
then, was the landlord. His eye was on the note, and he was petrified.
He was worshipping, with all his body and soul, but he looked as if he
couldn’t stir hand or foot. I took my cue in a moment, and did the only
rational thing there was to do. I reached the note towards him, and said
carelessly:
‘Give me the change, please.’
Then he was restored to his normal condition, and made a thousand
apologies for not being able to break the bill, and I couldn’t get him
to touch it. He wanted to look at it, and keep on looking at it; he
couldn’t seem to get enough of it to quench the thirst of his eye, but
he shrank from touching it as if it had been something too sacred for
poor common clay to handle. I said:
‘I am sorry if it is an inconvenience, but I must insist. Please change
it; I haven’t anything else.’
But he said that wasn’t any matter; he was quite willing to let the
trifle stand over till another time. I said I might not be in his
neighbourhood again for a good while; but he said it was of no
consequence, he could wait, and, moreover, I could have anything I
wanted, any time I chose, and let the account run as long as I pleased.
He said he hoped he wasn’t afraid to trust as rich a gentleman as I was,
merely because I was of a merry disposition, and chose to play larks on
the public in the matter of dress. By this time another customer was
entering, and the landlord hinted to me to put the monster out of sight;
then he bowed me all the way to the door, and I started straight for
that house and those brothers, to correct the mistake which had been
made before the police should hunt me up, and help me do it. I was
pretty nervous, in fact pretty badly frightened, though, of course, I
was no way in fault; but I knew men well enough to know that when they
find they’ve given a tramp a million-pound bill when they thought it was
a one-pounder, they are in a frantic rage against _him_ instead of
quarrelling with their own near-sightedness, as they ought. As I
approached the house my excitement began to abate, for all was quiet
there, which made me feel pretty sure the blunder was not discovered
yet. I rang. The same servant appeared. I asked for those gentlemen.
‘They are gone.’ This in the lofty, cold way of that fellow’s tribe.
‘Gone? Gone where?’
‘On a journey.’
‘But whereabouts?’
‘To the Continent, I think.’
‘The Continent?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Which way—by what route?’
‘I can’t say, sir.’
‘When will they be back?’
‘In a month, they said.’
‘A month! Oh, this is awful! Give me _some_ sort of idea of how to get a
word to them. It’s of the last importance.’
‘I can’t, indeed. I’ve no idea where they’ve gone, sir.’
‘Then I must see some member of the family.’
‘Family’s away too; been abroad months—in Egypt and India, I think.’
‘Man, there’s been an immense mistake made. They’ll be back before
night. Will you tell them I’ve been here, and that I will keep coming
till it’s all made right, and they needn’t be afraid?’
‘I’ll tell them, if they come back, but I am not expecting them. They
said you would be here in an hour to make inquiries, but I must tell you
it’s all right, they’ll be here on time and expect you.’
So I had to give it up and go away. What a riddle it all was! I was like
to lose my mind. They would be here ‘on time.’ What could that mean? Oh,
the letter would explain, maybe. I had forgotten the letter; I got it
out and read it. This is what it said:
‘You are an intelligent and honest man, as one may see by your face. We
conceive you to be poor and a stranger. Enclosed you will find a sum of
money. It is lent to you for thirty days, without interest. Report at
this house at the end of that time. I have a bet on you. If I win it you
shall have any situation that is in my gift—any, that is, that you shall
be able to prove yourself familiar with and competent to fill.’
No signature, no address, no date.
Well, here was a coil to be in! You are posted on what had preceded all
this, but I was not. It was just a deep, dark puzzle to me. I hadn’t the
least idea what the game was, nor whether harm was meant me or a
kindness. I went into a park, and sat down to try to think it out, and
to consider what I had best do.
At the end of an hour, my reasonings had crystallised into this verdict.
Maybe those men mean me well, maybe they mean me ill; no way to decide
that—let it go. They’ve got a game, or a scheme, or an experiment of
some kind on hand; no way to determine what it is—let it go. There’s a
bet on me; no way to find out what it is—let it go. That disposes of the
indeterminable quantities; the remainder of the matter is tangible,
solid, and may be classed and labelled with certainty. If I ask the Bank
of England to place this bill to the credit of the man it belongs to,
they’ll do it, for they know him, although I don’t; but they will ask me
how I came in possession of it, and if I tell the truth, they’ll put me
in the asylum, naturally, and a lie will land me in jail. The same
result would follow if I tried to bank the bill anywhere or to borrow
money on it. I have got to carry this immense burden around until those
men come back, whether I want to or not. It is useless to me, as useless
as a handful of ashes, and yet I must take care of it, and watch over
it, while I beg my living. I couldn’t _give_ it away, if I should try,
for neither honest citizen nor highwayman would accept it or meddle with
it for anything. Those brothers are safe. Even if I lose their bill, or
burn it, they are still safe, because they can stop payment, and the
Bank will make them whole; but meantime, I’ve got to do a month’s
suffering without wages or profit—unless I help win that bet, whatever
it may be, and get that situation that I am promised. I _should_ like to
get that; men of their sort have situations in their gift that are worth
having.
I got to thinking a good deal about that situation. My hopes began to
rise high. Without doubt the salary would be large. It would begin in a
month; after that I should be all right. Pretty soon I was feeling
first-rate. By this time I was tramping the streets again. The sight of
a tailor-shop gave me a sharp longing to shed my rags, and to clothe
myself decently once more. Could I afford it? No; I had nothing in the
world but a million pounds. So I forced myself to go on by. But soon I
was drifting back again. The temptation persecuted me cruelly. I must
have passed that shop back and forth six times during that manful
struggle. At last I gave in; I had to. I asked if they had a misfit suit
that had been thrown on their hands. The fellow I spoke to nodded his
head towards another fellow, and gave me no answer. I went to the
indicated fellow, and he indicated another fellow with _his_ head, and
no words. I went to him, and he said:
‘’Tend to you presently.’
I waited till he was done with what he was at, then he took me into a
back room, and overhauled a pile of rejected suits, and selected the
rattiest one for me. I put it on. It didn’t fit, and wasn’t in any way
attractive, but it was new, and I was anxious to have it; so I didn’t
find any fault, but said with some diffidence:
‘It would be an accommodation to me if you could wait some days for the
money. I haven’t any small change about me.’
The fellow worked up a most sarcastic expression of countenance, and
said:
‘Oh, you haven’t? Well, of course, I didn’t expect it. I’d only expect
gentlemen like you to carry large change.’