As often times as you put in--
FRIAR.
Desiring some food his hunger to relieve--
PARDONER.
Any money into the Pardoner's coffer--
FRIAR.
But the rich man nothing would him give--
PARDONER.
Or any money up unto it offer--
FRIAR.
Not so much as a few crumbs of bread--
PARDONER.
Or he that offereth penny or groat--
FRIAR.
Wherefore poor Lazarus of famine straight was dead--
PARDONER.
Or he that giveth the Pardoner a new coat--
FRIAR
And angels his soul to heaven did carry--
PARDONER.
Or take of me other image or letter--
FRIAR.
But now the rich man, of the contrary--
PARDONER.
Whereby this poor chapel may fare the better--
FRIAR.
When he was dead, went to misery and pain.
PARDONER.
And (God wot) it is a full gracious deed--
FRIAR.
Wherefore evermore he shall remain--
PARDONER.
For which God shall quite you well your mede--
FRIAR.
In brenning fire, which shall never cease--
PARDONER.
Now help our poor chapel, if it be your will--
FRIAR.
But I say, thou Pardoner, I bid thee hold thy peace!--
PARDONER.
And I say, thou friar, hold thy tongue still!--
FRIAR.
What, standest thou there all the day smattering!--
PARDONER.
Marry, what standest thou there all the day clattering!--
FRIAR.
Marry, fellow, I come hither to preach the Word of God,
Which of no man may be forbode;
But heard with silence and good intent,
For why it teacheth them evident
The very way and path that shall them lead
Even to heaven's gates, as straight as any thread.
And he that letteth the Word of God of audience,
Standeth accursed in the great sentence;
And so art thou for interrupting me.
PARDONER.
Nay, thou art a cursed knave, and that shalt thou see;
And all such that to me make interruption,
The Pope sends them excommunication
By his bulls here ready to be read,
By bishops and his cardinals confirmed;
And eke if thou disturb me any thing,
Thou art also a traitor to the king.
For here hath he granted me under his broad seal,
That no man, if he love his heal,[173]
Should me disturb or let in any wise;
And if thou dost the king's commandment despise,
I shall make thee be set fast by the feet,
And, where thou saidst that thou art more meet
Among the people here for to preach,
Because thou dost them the very way teach,
How to come to heaven above:
Therein thou liest, and that shall I prove,
And by good reason I shall make thee bow,
And know that I am meeter than art thou.
For thou, when thou hast taught them once the way,
Thou carest not whether they come there, yea or nay;
But when that thou hast done altogether,
And taught them the way for to come hither,
Yet all that thou canst imagine
Is but to use virtue, and abstain fro sin.
And if they fall once, then thou canst no more:
Thou canst not give them a salve for their sore.
But these my letters be clean purgation,
Although never so many sins they have done.
But when thou hast taught them the way and all,
Yet, ere they come there, they may have many a fall
In the way, ere that they come thither
For why the way to heaven is very slidder.
But I will teach them after another rate,
For I shall bring them to heaven's gate,
And be their guides, and conduct all things,
And lead them thither by the purse-strings,
So that they shall not fall, though that they would.
FRIAR.
Hold thy peace, knave, thou art very bold:
Thou pratest, in faith, even like a Pardoner.
PARDONER.
Why despisest thou the Pope's minister?
Masters, here I curse him openly,
And therewith warn all this whole company
By the Pope's great auctority,
That ye leave him, and harken unto me;
For, till he be assoiled, his words take none effect,
For out of holy church he is now clean reject.
FRIAR.
My masters, he doth but jest and rave;
It forceth not for the words of a knave;
But to the Word of God do reverence,
And hear me forth with due audience.
Masters, I showed you ere while of alms-deed--
PARDONER.
Masters, this pardon which I showed you before--
FRIAR.
And how ye should give poor folk at their need--
PARDONER.
Is the greatest that ever was, sith God was bore--
FRIAR.
And if of your parts that thing once were done--
PARDONER.
For why without confession or contrition--
FRIAR.
Doubt not but God should give you retribution--
PARDONER.
By this shall ye have clean remission--
FRIAR.
But now further it ought to be declared--
PARDONER.
And forgiven of the sins seven--
FRIAR.
Who be these poor folk, that should have your reward--
PARDONER.
Come to this pardon, if ye will come to heaven--
FRIAR.
Who be those poor folk, of whom I speak and name?--
PARDONER.
Come to this pardon, if ye will be in bliss--
FRIAR.
Certes, we poor friars are the same--
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, which ye cannot miss--
FRIAR.
We friars daily take pain, I say--
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, which shall men's souls win--
FRIAR.
We friars daily do both fast and pray--
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, the ridder of your sin--
FRIAR.
We friars travail and labour every hour--
PARDONER.
This is the pardon that purchaseth all grace--
FRIAR.
We friars take pain for the love of our Saviour--
PARDONER.
This is a pardon for all manner of trespass--
FRIAR.
We friars also go on limitation[174]--
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, of which all mercy doth spring--
FRIAR.
For to preach to every Christian nation--
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, that to heaven shall ye bring--
FRIAR.
But I say, thou Pardoner, thou wilt keep silence soon!--
PARDONER.
Yea, it is like to be, when I have done!--
FRIAR.
Marry, therefore the more knave art thou, I say,
That perturbest the Word of God, I say;
For neither thyself wilt hear God's doctrine,
Ne suffer other their ears to incline,
Wherefore our Saviour, in His holy Scripture,
Giveth thee thy judgment, thou cursed creature,
Speaking to thee after this manner:
"Maledictus qui audit verbum Dei negligenter"--
Woe be that man, saith our Lord, that giveth no audience,
Or heareth the Word of God with negligence.
PARDONER.
Now thou hast spoken all, sir daw,
I care not for thee an old straw;
I had liever thou were hanged up with a rope,
Than I, that am come from the Pope,
And thereby God's minister, while thou standest and prate,
Should be fain to knock without the gate.
Therefore preach hardly thy bellyful,
But I nevertheless will declare the Pope's bull.
FRIAR.
Now, my friends, I have afore showed ye--
PARDONER.
Now, my masters, as I have afore declared--
FRIAR.
That good it is to give your charity--
PARDONER.
That pardoners from you may not be spared--
FRIAR.
And further I have at length to you told--
PARDONER.
Now hereafter shall follow and ensue--
FRIAR.
Who be these people that ye receive should--
PARDONER.
That followeth of pardons the great virtue--
FRIAR.
That is to say us friars poor--
PARDONER.
We pardoners for your souls be as necessary--
FRIAR.
That for our living must beg fro door to door--
PARDONER.
As is the meat for our bodies hungry--
FRIAR.
For of our own proper we have no proper thing--
PARDONER.
For pardons is the thing that bringeth men to heaven--
FRIAR.
But that we get of devout people's giving--
PARDONER.
Pardons delivereth them fro the sins seven--
FRIAR.
And in our place be friars three score and three--
PARDONER.
Pardons for every crime may dispense--
FRIAR.
Which only live on men's charity--
PARDONER.
Pardon purchaseth grace for all offence--
FRIAR.
For we friars wilful charity profess--
PARDONER.
Yea, though ye had slain both father and mother--
FRIAR.
We may have no money nother more nor less--
PARDONER.
And this pardon is chief above all other--
FRIAR.
For worldly treasure we may nought care--
PARDONER.
For who to it offereth groat or penny--
FRIAR.
Our souls must be rich and our bodies bare--
PARDONER.
Though sins he had done never so many--
FRIAR.
And one thing I had almost left behind--
PARDONER.
And though that he had all his kindred slain--
FRIAR.
Which before came not to my mind--
PARDONER.
This pardon shall rid them from everlasting pain--
FRIAR.
And doubtless, it is none other thing--
PARDONER.
There is no sin so abhominable--
FRIAR.
But when ye will give your alms and offering--
PARDONER.
Which to remit this pardon is not able--
FRIAR.
Look that ye distribute it wisely--
PARDONER.
As well declareth the sentence of this letter--
FRIAR.
Not to every man that for it will cry--
PARDONER.
Ye cannot, therefore, bestow your money better--
FRIAR.
For if ye give your alms in that wise--
PARDONER.
Let us not here stand idle all the day--
FRIAR.
It shall not both to them and us suffice--
PARDONER.
Give us some money, ere that we go our way--
FRIAR.
But I say, thou lewd fellow thou,
Haddest none other time to show thy bulls but now?
Canst not tarry and abide till soon,
And read them then, when preaching is done?
PARDONER.
I will read them now, what sayest thou thereto?
Hast thou anything therewith to do?
Thinkest that I will stand and tarry for thy leisure?
Am I bound to do so much for thy pleasure?
FRIAR.
For my pleasure? nay I would thou knowest it well:
It becometh the knave never a deal
To prate thus boldly in my presence,
And let the Word of God of audience.
PARDONER
Let the Word of God, quod a? nay let a whoreson drivel
Prate here all day, with a foul evil,
And all thy sermon goeth on covetise,
And biddest men beware of avarice;
And yet in thy sermon dost thou none other thing,
But for alms stand all the day begging!
FRIAR.
Leave thy railing, I would thee advise--
PARDONER.
Nay, leave thou thy babbling, if thou be wise--
FRIAR.
I would thou knowest it, knave, I will not leave a whit--
PARDONER.
No more will I, I do thee well to wit--
FRIAR.
It is not thou shall make me hold my peace--
PARDONER.
Then speak on hardly, if thou thinkest it for thy ease--
FRIAR.
For I will speak, whither thou wilt or no--
PARDONER.
In faith, I care not, for I will speak also--
FRIAR.
Wherefore hardly let us both go to--
PARDONER.
See which shall be better heard of us two--
FRIAR.
What, should ye give ought to parting pardoners--
PARDONER.
What, should ye spend on these flattering liars--
FRIAR.
What, should ye give ought to these bold beggars--
PARDONER.
As be these babbling monks and these friars--
FRIAR.
Let them hardly labour for their living--
PARDONER.
Which do nought daily but babble and lie--
FRIAR.
It much hurteth them good men's giving--
PARDONER.
And tell you fables dear enough at a fly--
FRIAR.
For that maketh them idle and slothful to wark--
PARDONER.
As doth this babbling friar here to-day--
FRIAR.
That for none other thing they will cark--
PARDONER.
Drive him hence, therefore, in the twenty-devil way!
FRIAR.
Hardly they would go both to plough and cart--
PARDONER.
On us pardoners hardly do your cost--
FRIAR.
And if of necessity once they felt the smart--
PARDONER.
For why your money never can be lost--
FRIAR.
But we friars be not in like estate--
PARDONER.
For why there is in our fraternity--
FRIAR.
For our hands with such things we may not maculate--
PARDONER.
For all brethren and sistren that thereof be--
FRIAR.
We friars be not in like condition--
PARDONER.
Devoutly song every year--
FRIAR.
We may have no prebends ne exhibition--
PARDONER.
As he shall know well that cometh there--
FRIAR.
Of all temporal service are we forbode--
PARDONER.
At every of the five solemn feasts--
FRIAR.
And only bound to the service of God--
PARDONER.
A mass and dirge to pray for the good rest--
FRIAR.
And therewith to pray for every Christian nation--
PARDONER.
Of the souls of the brethren and sistren all--
FRIAR.
That God witsafe to save them fro damnation--
PARDONER.
Of our fraternity in general--
FRIAR.
But some of you so hard be of heart--
PARDONER.
With a hearse there standing well arrayed and dight--
FRIAR.
Ye cannot weep, though ye full sore smart--
PARDONER.
And torches and tapers about it brenning bright--
FRIAR.
Wherefore some man must ye hire needs--
PARDONER.
And with the bells eke solemnly ringing--
FRIAR.
Which must intreat God for your misdeeds--
PARDONER.
And priests and clerks devoutly singing--
FRIAR.
Ye can hire no better, in mine opinion--
PARDONER.
And furthermore, every night in the year--
FRIAR.
Than us God's servants, men of religion--
PARDONER.
Twelve poor people are received there--
FRIAR.
And specially God heareth us poor friars--
PARDONER.
And there have both harborow and food--
FRIAR.
And is attentive unto our desires--
PARDONER.
That for them is convenient and good--
FRIAR.
For the more of religion the more heard of our Lord--
PARDONER.
And furthermore, if there be any other--
FRIAR.
And that it so should, good reason doth accord--
PARDONER.
That of our fraternity be sister or brother--
FRIAR.
Therefore, doubt not, masters, I am even he--
PARDONER.
Which hereafter happen to fall in decay--
FRIAR.
To whom ye should part with your charity--
PARDONER.
And if ye then chance to come that way--
FRIAR.
We friars be they that should your alms take--
PARDONER.
Nigh unto our foresaid holy place--
FRIAR.
Which for your soul's health do both watch and wake--
PARDONER.
Ye shall there tarry for a month's space--
FRIAR.
We friars pray, God wot, when ye do sleep--
PARDONER.
And be there found of the place's cost--[175]
FRIAR.
We for your sins do both sob and weep--
PARDONER.
Wherefore now, in the name of the Holy Ghost--
FRIAR.
To pray to God for mercy and for grace--
PARDONER.
I advise you all, that now here be--
FRIAR.
And thus do we daily with all our whole place--
PARDONER.
For to be of our fraternity--
FRIAR.
Wherefore distribute of your temporal wealth--
PARDONER.
Fie on covetise! stick not for a penny:--
FRIAR.
By which ye may preserve your souls' health--
PARDONER.
For which ye may have benefits so many--
FRIAR.
I say, wilt thou not yet stint thy clap?
Pull me down the Pardoner with an evil hap!
PARDONER.
Master Friar, I hold it best
To keep your tongue, while ye be in rest--
FRIAR.
I say, one pull the knave off his stool!
PARDONER.
Nay, one pull the friar down like a fool!
FRIAR.
Leave thy railing and babbling of friars,
Or, by Jis, I'sh lug thee by the sweet ears![176]
PARDONER.
By God, I would thou durst presume to it!--
FRIAR.
By God, a little thing might make me to do it--
PARDONER.
And I shrew thy heart, and thou spare--
FRIAR.
By God, I will not miss thee much, thou slouch;
And if thou play me such another touch,
I'sh knock thee on the costard, I would thou it knew--
PARDONER.
"Marry that I would see, quod blind Hew." [177]
FRIAR.
Well, I will begin, and then let me see,
Whether thou darest again interrupt me,
And what thou would once to it say--
PARDONER.
Begin and prove, whether I will, yea or nay--
FRIAR.
And to go forth, whereas I left right now--
PARDONER.
Because some percase will think amiss of me--
FRIAR.
Our Lord in the gospel showeth the way how--
PARDONER.
Ye shall now hear the Pope's authority.
FRIAR.
By Gog's soul, knave, I suffer thee no lenger--
PARDONER.
I say some good body lend me his hanger,
And I shall him teach by God Almighty,
How he shall another time learn for to fight!
I shall make that bald crown of his to look red;
I shall leave him but one ear on his head!
FRIAR.
But I shall leave thee never an ear, ere I go:
PARDONER.
Yea, whoreson friar, wilt thou soe--
[_Then they fight_.
FRIAR.
Loose thy hands away from mine ears--
PARDONER.
Then take thou thy hands away from my hairs;
Nay, abide, thou whoreson, I am not down yet;
I trust first to lay thee at my feet.
FRIAR.
Yea, whoreson, wilt thou scrat and bite?
PARDONER.
Yea, marry, will I, as long as thou dost smite.--
[_Enter the Curate_.
PARSON (OR CURATE).
Hold your hands, a vengeance on ye both two,
That ever ye came hither to make this a-do!
To pollute my church, a mischief on you light!
I swear to you, by God Almight,
Ye shall both repent, every vein of your heart,
As sore as ye did ever thing, ere ye depart.
FRIAR.
Master Parson, I marvel ye will give licence
To this false knave in this audience,
To publish his ragman-rolls[178] with lies
I desired him, i-wis, more than once or twice
To hold his peace, till that I had done;
But he would hear no more than the man in the moon--
PARDONER.
Why should I suffer thee more than thou me?
Master Parson gave me licence before thee;
And I would thou knowest it, I have relics here
Other manner stuff than thou dost bear.
I will edify more with the sight of it,
Than will all the prating of holy writ;
For that except that the preacher himself live well,
His predication will help never a dell,
And I know well that thy living is nought:
Thou art an apostate, if it were well sought.
An homicide thou art, I know well enough,
For myself knew where that thou slough
A wench with thy dagger in a couch:
And yet, as thou say'st in thy sermon, that no man shall touch.
PARSON.
No more of this wrangling in my church!
I shrew your hearts both for this lurch:
Is there any blood shed here between these knaves?
Thanked be God they had no staves
Nor edge-tools;[179] for then it had been wrong.
Well, ye shall sing another song!
Neighbour Prat, come hither, I you pray--
PRAT.
Why, what is this nice fray?
PARSON.
I cannot tell you; one knave disdains another;
Wherefore take ye the one, and I shall take the other.
We shall bestow them there as is most convenient;
For such a couple, I trow, they shall repent
That ever they met in this church here.
Neighbour, ye be constable; stand ye near,
Take ye that lay knave, and let me alone
With this gentleman; by God and by Saint John,
I shall borrow upon priesthood somewhat;
For I may say to thee, neighbour Prat,
It is a good deed to punish such, to the ensample
Of such other, how that they shall mell
In like fashion, as these caitiffs do.
PRAT.
In good faith, Master Parson, if ye do so,
Ye do but well to teach them to beware.
PARDONER.
Master Prat, I pray ye me to spare;
For I am sorry for that that is done;
Wherefore I pray ye forgive me soon,
For that I have offended within your liberty;
And by my troth, sir, ye may trust me
I will never come hither more,
While I live, and God before.
PRAT.
Nay, I am once charged with thee,
Wherefore, by Saint John, thou shalt not escape me,
Till thou hast scoured a pair of stocks.
PARSON.
Tut, he weeneth all is but mocks!
Lay hand on him; and come ye on, sir friar,
Ye shall of me hardly have your hire;
Ye had none such this seven year,
I swear by God and by our lady dear.
PARDONER.
Nay, Master Parson, for God's passion,
Intreat[180] not me after that fashion;
For, if ye do, it will not be for your honesty.
PARSON.
Honesty or not, but thou shall see,
What I shall do by and by:
Make no struggling, come forth soberly:
For it shall not avail thee, I say.
FRIAR.
Marry, that shall we try even straightway.
I defy the churl priest, and there be no more than thou.
I will not go with thee, I make God a vow.
We shall see first which is the stronger:
God hath sent me bones; I do thee not fear.
PARSON.
Yea, by thy faith, wilt thou be there?
Neighbour Prat, bring forth that knave,
And thou, sir friar, if thou wilt algates[181] rave.
FRIAR.
Nay, churl, I thee defy!
I shall trouble thee first;
Thou shalt go to prison by and by;
Let me see, now do thy worst!
[_Prat with the Pardoner and the Parson with the Friar_.
PARSON.
Help, help, neighbour Prat, neighbour Prat,
In the worship of God, help me somewhat!
PRAT.
Nay, deal as thou canst with that elf,
For why I have enough to do myself.
Alas! for pain I am almost dead;
The red blood so runneth down about my head.
Nay, and thou canst, I pray thee help me.
PARSON.
Nay, by the mass, fellow, it will not be;
I have more tow on my distaff than I can well spin;
The cursed Friar doth the upper hand win.
FRIAR.
Will ye leave then, and let us in peace depart?
PARSON AND PRAT.
Yea, by our lady, even with all our heart.
FRIAR AND PARDONER.
Then adieu to the devil, till we come again.
PARSON AND PRAT.
And a mischief go with you both twain![182]
THE WORLD AND THE CHILD.
MR COLLIER'S PREFACE.
When the Rev. T.F. Dibdin asserted ("Typographical Antiquities," ii. 9.)
that "in the Drama there is no single work yet found, which bears the
name of Winken de Worde as the printer of it," he committed one of those
singular over-sights of which very learned men have before been sometimes
guilty. "Hickscorner," perhaps the most ancient printed dramatic piece in
our language, and well-known to those who are at all acquainted with the
history of our stage, was from his press, and his colophon is at its
conclusion: "Enprynted by me Wynkyn de Worde." Mr Dibdin, in opposition
to his own statement, inserts it among the works of that early professor
of the typographic art.
The subsequent dramatic production is also from the types of Wynkyn de
Worde, but it was not discovered in the Library of Trinity College,
Dublin, until after the appearance of the second volume of Mr Dibdin's
new edition of Ames.[183]
[Yet a copy was in the "Bibliotheca Anglo-Poetica," 1815, and in 1817 the
piece was reprinted for the Roxburghe Club].
"Hickscorner" is without date, but "The World and the Child" was printed
in July 1522. Only one other copy of it is known, and it is here
republished from a faithful transcript of the original.[184] As a
specimen of our ancient moralities, it is of an earlier date, and in
several respects more curious, than almost any other piece in the present
collection. From a line in the epilogue, it might be inferred that it was
performed before the king and his Court.
HERE BEGINNETH A PROPER NEW INTERLUDE OF THE WORLD AND THE CHILD,
OTHERWISE CALLED MUNDUS ET INFANS, AND IT SHOWETH OF THE ESTATE OF
CHILDHOOD AND MANHOOD.
MUNDUS. Sirs, cease of your saws what so befall,
And look ye bow bonerly[185] to my bidding,
For I am ruler of realms, I warn you all,
And over all fodes[186] I am king:
For I am king, and well known in these realms round,
I have also palaces i-pight:
I have steeds in stable stalwart and strong,
Also streets and strands full strongly i-dight:
For all the world[187] wide I wot well is my name,
All riches readily it renneth in me,
All pleasure worldly, both mirth and game.
Myself seemly in sale[188] I send with you to be,
For I am the world, I warn you all,
Prince of power and of plenty:
He that cometh not, when I do him call,
I shall him smite with poverty,
For poverty I part[189] in many a place
To them that will not obedient be.
I am a king in every case:
Methinketh I am a God of grace,
The flower of virtue followeth me!
Lo, here I sit seemly in se,[190]
I command you all obedient be,
And with free will ye follow me.
INFANS. Christ our king, grant you clearly to know the case.
To meve[191] of this matter that is in my mind,
[And] clearly declare it, Christ grant me grace.
Now, seemly sirs, behold on me,
How mankind doth begin:
I am a child, as you may see,
Gotten in game and in great sin.
Forty weeks my mother me found,[192]
Flesh and blood my food was tho:
When I was ripe from her to sound,
In peril of death we stood both two.
Now to seek death I must begin,
For to pass that strait passage
For body and soul, that shall then twin,[193]
And make a parting of that marriage.
Forty weeks I was freely fed
Within my mother's possession:
Full oft of death she was a-dread,
When that I should part her from:
Now into the world she hath me sent,
Poor and naked, as ye may see,
I am not worthily wrapped nor went,
But poorly pricked in poverty.
Now into the world will I wend,
Some comfort of him for to crave.
All hail! comely crowned king,
God that all made you see and save!
MUNDUS. Welcome, fair child, what is thy name?
INFANS. I wot not, sir, withouten blame;
But oftime my mother in her game
Called me Dalliance.
MUNDUS. Dalliance, my sweet child,
It is a name that is right wild,[194]
For when thou waxest old,
It is a name of no substance,
But, my fair child, what wouldst thou have?
INFANS. Sir, of some comfort I you crave:
Meat and clothes my life to save,
And I your true servant shall be.
MUNDUS. Now, fair child, I grant thee thine asking:
I will thee find while thou art ying,[195]
So thou wilt be obedient to my bidding.
These garments gay I give to thee,
And also I give to thee a name,
And clepe thee Wanton in every game,
Till fourteen year be come and gone,
And then come again to me.
WANTON. Gramercy, world, for mine array;
For now I purpose me to play.
MUNDUS. Farewell, fair child, and have good day:
All recklessness is kind for thee.