As Gud was knocking about among the stars he saw yet another world
spinning idly on its axis as it floated aimlessly in the nebulous ether.
Prompted by curiosity he drew nearer and observed that the ether was
full of ghosts. Most of them seemed to be observing the conduct of the
beings in the material world below, and Gud rightly judged them to be
demised of that reality and amusing themselves by watching the doings of
their descendants.
But there was one ghost of an old woman that seemed sore troubled and
full of yearning for the beings of the world below, as if she would
communicate to them some message and could find not the means of
communication. Filled with compassion, Gud approached the ghost of the
old woman and asked if he might be of service to her. But she merely
gazed up at him out of troubled eyes and did not speak. Again Gud
addressed her and again she answered not; and Gud concluded that she was
a very dumb ghost.
Thereupon Gud imagined a powerful medicine and poured it out in a
make-believe goblet and gave to the dumb ghost to drink thereof. She
accepted it gratefully and drank copiously; and immediately her mouth
opened so that she spake volubly.
When she had done with her thanks for the miracle, Gud asked her why she
was troubled and why she looked upon the world below with such distress.
"It is quite a long story," she began, as she seated herself upon the
Rock of Ages.
This being the only rock in the neighborhood, Gud was obliged to create
another rock so that he could be seated also, for the story promised
well.
When Gud was comfortably seated, the old ghost of the old woman resumed:
"I was the first lady of the land, that you see below us, and the mother
of the first family on that poor deluded world. I had a very dear
husband who was the father of my children--of that there was no doubt,
for he was never jealous. But I was not his first wife, for he had been
married before to a most loquacious creature who had talked herself into
hysterics and died.
"My husband loved me greatly and in order to escape the sound of women's
voices, he brought me to this world which you now see so full of our
descendants.
"Then it was only inhabited by savage beasts and we were the first
people who trod its wild shores. We settled down in a beautiful cave and
made a happy home there and numerous children came to bless our union.
"My husband loved these children and made many toys to amuse them, for
he was clever with his jack-knife. One day he came home with a great
chunk of dry, soft wood and began to whittle on it, while all the
children stood about and wondered what he was making.
"Day by day they watched him as he shaped and carved the wood until he
had made a most comical and grotesque object with grinning teeth, and
eyes which he blackened with charcoal. The children were afraid of this
ugly, carved wooden creature, and yet they loved it because their father
had made it for them. So when it was all finished, he perched it up on
the mantle over the horsehair sofa and told the children not to touch
it.
"When they asked him what it was he said that it was Bahgung; and he
told them that while they slept Bahgung stole out of the cave and went
on long expeditions and had great adventures. The children loved these
tales of the doings of Bahgung, and so my husband made many tales of
Bahgung and his adventures.
"I wanted to warn him that the children could not discriminate between
fact and fiction and might believe these tales, but I was dumb and could
say nothing.
"When my dear husband saw the worry in my eyes he guessed the cause and
said: 'When they get older, I will explain to them that these are only
fairy tales and they will forget them.'
"But he did not explain, and went on making up more and yet more tales
of the might and prowess of the wooden carved Bahgung. If the children
were naughty, he told them that Bahgung would punish them, and when they
were good he told them that Bahgung would award them.
"One day when I came quietly into the cave I saw my little girl kneeling
before Bahgung, and she was talking to him and beseeching him to cause
her brother give back a pretty shell which he had taken from her. I was
worried at all this, but being dumb I could say nothing.
"It was a few days later that my dear husband was eaten by a crocodile
while he was fishing. There being no remains we had a modest private
funeral, none but the family being present; and I took up as best I
could the duties of providing for my children.
"After their father's death the children talked still more to Bahgung
and told him all their troubles. They seemed to love the idol and yet to
fear him, and to believe he was alive though they could see him before
them as only a carved wooden thing.
"So much they worshiped Bahgung that I feared to destroy him, and I
therefore allowed the wooden idol to stand on the mantle over the old
horsehair sofa that we had brought with us from another world.
"I still supposed that when the children grew up they would forget this
miserable idol of carven wood. But alas! they did not. I did not dare
destroy the idol, for the children adored it more than they did me who
had brought them into the world of my own flesh and blood. I wanted also
to explain to them that Bahgung was only a wooden idol and as dead and
worthless as any rotten stick, but being dumb I could say nothing.
"When my children left home, they would come back on pilgrimages, and to
me it seemed that they came back more to worship Bahgung than to see
their old mother. So in my desire to see my children the more I
permitted Bahgung to stand on the mantle above the horsehair sofa in the
cave.
"One day my oldest son and oldest daughter came at the same time to
visit me and to worship Bahgung. It was then that my son proposed that
he take Bahgung to his own cave. Being dumb I could say nothing, but my
daughter objected.
"'Very well,' said my son, 'leave the old thing here. I will make a
better one of my own.'
"The next time I visited my son, I found that he, too, had made a
creature, which he modeled out of clay, even more cleverly than his
father had carved. And this creature was sitting on a little pedestal in
a small cave of its own and my son was teaching my grandchildren to
bring it offerings and make worship and prayers to it--all of which I
thought most silly.
"Finally I died and my numerous descendants gave me a grand funeral and
paraded Bahgung at the head of the procession and all their lesser idols
after him. But being dumb and dead also, I could say nothing.
"So that was how it all started, the idol worship, in that world you see
below us, and for thousands on thousands of generations those poor
deluded descendants of mine made and worshiped idols of wood and clay
and stone and metal, while I hovered over them, knowing all the while
how the delusion started in my own dear husband's innocent desire to
amuse our children with a home-made toy."
"That is a very interesting account of the origin of idol worship,"
commented Gud, "I never heard so plausible a theory."
"Theory!" repeated the old ghost, "but it isn't theory, I would have you
know. It is plain fact--did I not see the whole beginning of this folly
with my own eyes, and did I not heft that old carcass of rotten wood
with my own hands?"
"Perhaps," admitted Gud, "still--" and he peered searchingly through the
haze at the world below--"still, I do not see them worshiping idols down
there now? The only idols I can see are in the museums along with the
stuffed mermaids and two-headed serpents."
"Of course," replied the old ghost, "they have long since grown too
sophisticated to worship material idols of wood and stone, but they have
idols just the same, which they call 'gods not made with hands'."
Gud felt a little uncomfortable at this remark, but before he could
think of anything to say the ghost of the first woman of that land which
lay below them, continued. "I will tell you how that came about, too,
for I was hovering near at the time. There was a lazy philosopher. He
had no idol except a worm-eaten old wooden one which some one had given
him, and which he kept in a hovel. One day the shanty caught fire from a
defective flue and his idol was burned and there was no insurance. The
philosopher was too lazy to make another and too poor to buy one, for
the idol makers by that time were charging high prices. So the lazy fool
sat out on a stump and dreamed how to get another idol without working
to pay for it.
"His thoughts, as I read them at that time, ran something like this: 'An
idol is a material creature of wood or stone or metal, which is used by
the worshiper as a material nucleus to concentrate the attention and
stimulate the imagination. The imagination constructs an immaterial
being or god to dwell within the material idol. As this imagined god is
the creature that answers supplications and heaps curses on one's
enemies, therefore the benefits to the worshiper must come from the use
of his own imagination. Now it would be more difficult to imagine a god
without having the idol to start from, hence if one could achieve it he
would use his imagination more and thereby get a better god.'
"So the philosopher set his imagination to work and imagined himself a
god without going to the expense of buying an idol. He was so well
pleased with his wholly imagined god that he went out and proclaimed to
others, and soon he had a host of lazy chaps who agreed to pay him for
the privilege of worshiping his imagined god and thus saving the cost of
idols.
"The scheme was so lucrative that other philosophers set up other
psychic idols, and that is what they have down there now. If you doubt
me, look over there in the left corner of the nearer hemisphere and you
can see the smoke of a war. Those people are fighting, trying to make
each other accept their particular psychic idols."
Gud looked and saw the war, that it was great and that there was much
smoke; and even a faint stench was wafted up to him of the flesh of
unbelievers being burned by the faithful.
Gud looked also toward another quarter and saw other smoke. "And what is
that war?" he asked, pointing it out.
"That," replied the old ghost, "is a war between two groups who both
want to worship the same psychic idol, but one group wishes to worship
it in silence and meditation and the other wishes to worship it with
drums and cymbals."
Gud sniffed the ether from that direction and found that it also smelled
of burning flesh. He did not like the odor and he arose as if to go
toward the unhappy world.
"Where are you going?" asked the old ghost.
"I was just wondering, whether, if those unhappy people had a real god
would they not quit all this war and devote their time to harmonious
worship?"
"Don't be a fool," laughed the old ghost, "if you go down there as a
stranger preaching some new god they will pour oil on you and set you up
to light the town for a night."
Gud sighed and sat down on the stone again. "I suppose they would," he
admitted, "and I suppose now that I have given you back your power of
communication, you will be wanting to go down there and find a good
medium and preach atheism through spirit messages, since you know what a
fraud all their gods are."
"I shall do nothing of the sort," declared the old ghost. "Of course, if
I could have had a great doctor like you to have restored my speech
while I was yet alive, then I could have explained to my children just
how it all started, and this folly would have never been. But it is too
late now."
"What are you going to do?" asked Gud, for he saw that the old ghost had
arisen with a very determined look on her face as if she surely meant to
do something.
"I am going down there," she asserted; "but I shall not bother with any
silly mediums. I am going to materialize as a woman of great wealth and
beauty, and I am going to captivate and hire the best sculptors and
architects in the land, and under my direction they will build an
enormous fine temple and set up a great idol, the splendor of which that
miserable world has never seen--"
"Just what kind of an idol?" interrupted Gud.
"An image of Bahgung, of course," cried the old ghost. "What else would
you suppose? Wasn't he the first of all their idols, and the best of all
them?"
"But--" said the astonished Gud, "I thought that you did not believe in
that idol and disliked to see your children worship him."
"So I did, in a way, because it was only a crude, wooden carving that my
silly husband had made with his jack-knife--but Bahgung was a great god
for all of that. Why, didn't he heal my youngest child of that terrible
fever when I prayed to him that fearful night? And didn't he tear the
great stone from the cliff that rolled down and killed the tiger? And
didn't he--"
But Gud heard no more, for he was racing madly through the ether and
pinching himself to see if he were real.