There was once a god whose name was Gud.
Gud was not a real god such as men believe in. He was only Gud, whom no
one believes in, and so does not exist, and will not unless some man who
reads this Book of Gud should believe in him and so make him (for that
is how gods are made). If there be sufficient faith in a god, all is
well with that god, since he is made by faith alone, without works, and
is dead. But a little faith is a dangerous thing.
Now Gud had had a universe, and had ordered it destroyed, and had
ordained that eternity be over and done.
The morning after, Gud sat alone in space. All things else had been
destroyed save Gud and space; and Gud was lonely, for creation had been
done and undone and was no more, and eternity was over; and time was no
more, for there were no more stars to mark the course of time.
Since this book is being written now, printed now, and read now and
burned now; and since printing presses and reading eyes and consuming
fires exist in an age of whirling worlds and beating hearts and ticking
watches, which mark time and thus seem to make it, it is that this book
is not. Those things that seem to happen herein, one after another,
really happened instantaneously,--for this is a tale of a timeless time,
and there will be, when these things are, no time at all, and no hope of
any time, since this story begins, and is finished the day after
eternity, which is after the ending of all that was and before the
beginning of that which will never be.
Therefore, this story is really not a story, because it never could
happen until after all things had happened. So what you now are reading
has no meaning at all and no existence, real or unreal.
So Gud sat alone in space. The fact that Gud was sitting is very
important. Gud sat down in haste at the very last moment of eternity, as
all things were being destroyed; for he saw that the very next moment
there would be nothing left on which to stand.
As Gud sat alone in space, he thought of everything that had been and
remembered everything that was, and Gud saw that it was not good--for he
had nothing at all to do. So Gud thought he would listen to his heart
beat; but alas, he could not hear his heart beat for there was no time
for his heart to beat to.
So Gud decided that he would do nothing, but alas he could do nothing
for there was nothing to do; and Gud feared nothing, for it did not
exist, and like all of us, Gud most feared that which does not exist.
So Gud repented him that he had ordained that eternity be over and done;
and that he had destroyed the universe and all that was therein
contained, save himself and space.
Then Gud said to himself, there being no one else to talk to: "I must
find something to do, or I shall go mad."
Since Gud knew all things, and remembered all things, he recalled that
men in whose image he was made, also frequently retired prematurely from
business and were hard put for something to do. Gud remembered also that
great men, even though they were not as great as he, when finding
themselves in similar circumstances, sometimes wrote their
autobiographies.
So Gud decided to write his autobiography. And Gud wrote it. He wrote it
instantaneously, there being no time in which to write it. Gud did not
write it upon tables of stone, as there was no stone out of which to
make the tables; and besides there was no gravity and hence the stones
would have floated away.
So Gud wrote his autobiography on nothing. But as Gud knew all things
he saw no need of writing them down, since there was no one else to read
them, and so he really never wrote his autobiography on anything.
However when he had finished the manuscript, he sent it to a publisher.
And waited....
Gud received but little satisfaction from writing his autobiography
because it was never published. Had Gud been a true literary artist this
would have made no difference, since to the true artist the plaudits and
ducats of the multitude have no meaning whatever. But the ducats of the
multitude are the only reason publishers ever publish books, as any
honest publisher will tell you. The reason that you do not know this is
because you have not been told, and the reason that you have not been
told is because publishers hate publicity.
But, while Gud was not a true artist, as any critic who has looked at
his work could tell you, yet he was a good artisan and had considerable
experience in his craft, which was that of creating things. So now,
receiving no satisfaction from having written his autobiography, Gud
decided that there was nothing else to do but to go back to work at his
old trade. So he arose and went to get his kit of well-beloved tools,
which were the tools of creation.
As there was no light Gud was in the dark. So he walked in a circle, as
one always does when he walks in the dark and does not know where he is
going. The reason that Gud did not know where he was going is because he
started out to get his tools of creation.
Then Gud recalled that he had destroyed everything, including the tools.
And at the thought that he had made a perfect job of destruction, Gud
decided that it was the end of a perfect day, and he fell asleep.
When Gud awoke it was as it was. He did not even feel rested, for he had
not slept very well, having had a bad dream. This dream was so bad that
one might have called it a nightmare, had it not been dreamed the day
after eternity and perforce must have been a day dream.
Gud realized that he ought to have the dream interpreted, for a dream is
meaningless until it is interpreted.
So he decided that he needed a psychoanalyst. All of these having been
destroyed, Gud decided to create one. This decision brought him back to
the painful realization that he possessed no tools of creation. So Gud
decided to make a new set of tools of creation. But alas there was
nothing out of which to make the tools of creation--nothing except Gud
himself and space. So not wishing to dismember himself, Gud decided that
space was the only raw material available out of which to fashion new
tools of creation. There was plenty of space--probably no more than
there had always been, but it seemed more because there was nothing in
it.
As there was no light, Gud could not see the space, but he knew it was
there because it had not been destroyed; moreover, he could feel it. In
fact it was all about him and plenty more just like it everywhere else.
So Gud reached out and felt of the space, and thereby discovered that
the space was full of points.
Then Gud picked up two of the points and placed them, one on his right
and the other on his left.
And Gud felt the two points, and lo, there was a straight line between
them. As Gud felt of the straight line, he discovered that it was the
shortest distance between two points. Now Gud remembered that all
through eternity, which was finished and done, a straight line had
always been the shortest distance between two points, and Gud remembered
also that this was the truth.
And the truth that was in the straight line mocked Gud. So he took hold
of the straight line and bent it until it was no longer straight. But as
he bent the straight line another took its place, and truth was still in
the straight line; for it was still the shortest distance between two
points. So Gud struck off one of the points that was at one end of the
straight line. But straightway another point came at the end of that
which remained of the line, and truth was still in the line, for it was
still the shortest distance between two points.
And Gud became heated with wrath. So he picked up a palm leaf fan and
fanned himself. Then Gud said: "That which I cannot destroy I will
change." And he set about to make a curved line between two points that
should be shorter than a straight line.
Gud toiled diligently at the task for for what would have been a long
time if there had been any time. After he had made an infinite number of
curves between the two points, all of which were longer than the
straight line, he chanced to make a curve which he fitted between the
two points. When he felt it Gud was filled with pride--for the last
curve which he had made was a shorter distance between two points than a
straight line, and thus was truth destroyed.
But this curve which Gud had made was a changing curve, and it continued
to change. And Gud became frightened so that his knees smote one against
the other. The curve ceased not in its changing and presently it had
changed so much that it became impossible, and Gud said: "This thing
which I have made is impossible." So he took the impossible curve and
swung it about his head with a mighty swing and hurled it out of space.
When Gud had hurled the impossible curve out of space he felt again
between the two points and found that the straight line had returned,
and was again the shortest distance between the two points. And Gud
said: "Let it be so. Old truth is better than new fiction."
And the eyes of Gud were opened, and he knew that there was much truth
all about him, and that all space was full of truths and that the truths
of space were mathematics. And Gud said: "It is good, for lo, here is
something out of which I can fashion me the tools of creation!"
So Gud took a circle and a square, and, with the square, Gud squared the
circle. Then he took a plane and planed off the sides of the circle he
had squared and so produced a diamond, which is an element. Then Gud
transmuted the first element into many elements and so produced matter.
Now Gud was about to mix the matter with the mathematics to form the
chemical life, but he was weary and sat down to rest by the heap of
matter and mathematics and pondered himself whether life was worth the
making. And Gud decided that if he made life he would have to make also
many laws of nature to control life and that all of this would be much
trouble, especially, if they were to be all hand-made.
As he sat debating what he should do, Gud picked up a circle, and,
toying with it, he happened to turn it about so that it described a
sphere. It was a thing of beauty and he tossed it up to see how it felt
from a distance. When Gud tossed the sphere it began whirling; and as it
whirled, it gave off a sweet sound. The sound pleased Gud and he turned
other circles about and made more spheres and set them whirling; and
they made a concord of sweet sounds which was the music of the spheres
and like unto the sound made by dewdrops falling on the petals of pale
poppies by the amber light of a low hung moon shining upon a
moss-covered tomb.