We were out from New Orleans with Captain Bill Harrison one day on
board the steamer _Doubleloon_, and was having a good game of
roulette, when we noticed that most of the fish were suckers, and
did not bite so well at roulette; so we changed our tackle, and
used monte for bait. We were fishing along, and had caught some
pretty good fish, but none of the large ones we saw about the hooks.
Every time we would get one of them to come up and begin nibbling
around, something would scare him away. We put on fresh bait, spit
on it, and threw it out with all the care that we were capable of;
but somehow or another they would not suck in the hook. I knew
the bait was good, for I had caught thousands of suckers with it,
and I could see that there was plenty of that kind of fish around
us. I began looking, and soon discovered the trouble. It was a
great big old sucker who wanted to be a kind of teacher over the
school; for every time one of the young suckers would get up too
close, he would pull his tail, and that would scare the young one
so he would not take hold in earnest. I watched the big sucker
for some time, and I saw it was no use trying to catch anything
until I caught the old school teacher. So I put up my tackle, and
began looking for a bait that would land the old one.
I was walking on the guards, when I saw the man that had back-capped
and spoiled my game. I went up to him and entered into conversation.
I did not let him know I was mad; but I was, all the same, and
would have given $100 to give him one between the eyes; but I soon
thought of a plan to make him contribute a part of what he had kept
me from winning, so I said to him, "I was surprised to see you back-
capping my game, for I could see you were a sporting man. I tried
to give you the wink, and have you come up and win out something,
so the suckers would take hold, but I could not get your eye." He
said, "I did not understand it, or I would have been glad to help
you." I told him that after dinner I would open up again, and for
him to walk up and make a good big bet, and I would let him win;
then for him to walk away, and I would catch all the suckers on
the boat. After all had been arranged, I went to my room and got
old "Betsy Jane;" for my new capper had one on him so long that it
stuck down below his coat-tail. I told my partner to look out for
the big gun and our new capper. I called the passengers around a
table, and began to throw the hooks. Up came the big fish, and
wanted to know what was the least bet I would take. I told him
$200. He planked her up, when I saw about $50 left, so I told him
I would make it $250. He put up the extra $50, for of course the
more he put up the more he would win, as he was to suck in the hook
with the extra kink in it. I gave them a little mixing and said
"Ready!" He darted in, and nabbed the bait more like a goggle-eye
than a sucker, but he was caught all the same. He did not swim
away (as he had been told to do), for he was held by a line that
cost him $250, and he could not break it without a great struggle.
I thought I had let him play about long enough, so I said:
"Gentlemen, there are no more suckers to be caught on this boat,"
and thus landed the biggest sucker I ever caught in all my life.
I put up my fishing tackle and invited all hands to the bar, for
I was feeling like all fishermen (a little dry). My big sucker
joined us, as he had been out of water just long enough to want to
get back. After we had quenched our thirst he said he would like
to see me a minute. I told him he could see me for an hour, as I
had no other business to look after. We walked out on the guards,
and my partner was not far away. The big fellow said to me, "Why
didn't you let me win the money?" I looked up at him, but kept my
hand on old Betsy Jane, and said, "My business is to catch suckers,
and you are the biggest one I ever caught in my life if you think
I will give you back your money." He went back for his gun, but
I had old Betsy out and up to his head before he could say Jack
Robinson. I told him to put up his hands, and be d----d quick
about it, too. He put them up, and said he did not want any gun
to whip such a fellow as I was. I told him that he might be a good
man down in Texas, where he came from, but he was a sucker up in
this country, and I could eat him up. I said: "We will put our
guns in the bar, and have it out just as you like it." We went in
the bar, and he handed over his young cannon, and then I put up
Betsy Jane. I told my partner to get the Captain and tell him to
land the boat, and he would see some fun, for I knew he would rather
see a fight than eat when he was hungry. So just as we got our
guns behind the bar the Captain walked in, and some one said "Here
comes the Captain." The Texas fellow said, "To h--l with him; I
don't care a d--n for any captain." That made old Bill hot, and
he wanted to know what was all this racket about. I told him the
big fellow wanted to lick me. He said, "I'll soon settle this;
you will go ashore." The big fellow said there was not men enough
on the boat to put him ashore. The Captain then sent word to the
pilot to land, and also sent for the mate and some of the deck-
hands. The pilot ran the boat up on a point, and she got aground.
I jumped off as soon as she struck; and the mate, assisted by two
big deck-hands, soon had Mr. Texas off. The passengers were all
out on the guards, for they had heard the racket, and wanted to
see the fun. I pulled off my coat, and told Texas to clean himself
and come a-fighting. He was just as sure of licking me as I was
of catching him for a sucker, but he had forgotten "Nothing is sure
that grows on earthly ground." He was onto me in an instant, and
if he had hit me just where he aimed, he would have hurt me, for
he was a hard hitter; but I gave him my dear old head, and he hurt
himself very bad; but I did not care if he did. I then ran in
under him, and had him down on his back before he recovered from
the blow he struck against a rock (as he afterward called my head).
After I got him down I gave him one just between the eyes, and he
saw stars (although there were none in the sky just then). I gave
him one more punch, and he said, "That will do." I let him up,
and he was so dazed that he staggered and fell into the river.
They pulled him out, and I heard some one remark, "That's the
biggest sucker ever caught in this river."
While the fight was going on, they were trying to get the boat off
the point; but I guess they did not try very hard, for as soon as
they fished out the sucker, the Captain called for me to come
aboard. I said, "Captain, it is only three miles to Donaldsonville,
and as I want a little exercise, I will walk; but take good care
of my 'big sucker.'"