this jug of wine, then you must go about your commission."
"This evening?"
"Why not? It is better to have it done with at once."
"And you will go for the jar of pomade?"
"I told you that I would give it to you to-morrow, and you may rely upon
it. In any event, it seems to me that you have a sufficient guaranty."
"That is true."
The two clerks emptied the jug of wine, and Bahuchet paid the bill.
They left the wine shop.
The day was nearing its end.
"Until to-morrow!" said Bahuchet, shaking hands with his comrade.
"Until to-morrow!"
And the little man ran off in the opposite direction to that which
Plumard took to go to Rue Dauphine. And as he ran, he laughed in his
sleeve, saying to himself:
"Take the plume, dear boy; I am going to enjoy myself, to pass the night
in jollification at a wine shop, and to make up a pomade to redeem my
gold piece!"
As Plumard drew near to Master Landry's establishment, he felt that his
resolution weakened; a nervous shiver ran through his limbs. To restore
his courage, he passed his hand over his bald head several times, saying
to himself:
"Hair! it will make my hair grow! I shall have as much as Samson,
perhaps! How handsome I shall be when I have some hair! No woman will be
able to resist me then. And when they ask me for a lock, I shall not be
compelled to refuse them, as I am to-day.--Ah! corbleu! sacrebleu!
morbleu! I must shrink at nothing in face of that hope! How beautifully
I will dress my hair! I will have curls falling over my ears.--But
suppose that old woman should rush at me and claw my eyes out! Peste!
then I should not see my hair grow!--My eyes are superb; I should never
be able to console myself for the loss of even half of one of
them.--This is a very embarrassing, very delicate affair! Let me think a
little. Might I not make some change in what I have to say when I
deliver the plume? After all, Bahuchet won't be at my back to listen to
what I say! He has taken me in many times; and if I should cheat him a
little, where would be the harm?--And then, I should be sorry to make
trouble for that girl, who, they say, is so pretty! Who knows whether
some day, when I have some hair, she may not feel a tender affection for
me, on being told of the service I rendered her?--Yes, I must be
generous to beauty, and shelter my face from scratches."
In due time, Plumard reached the bath keeper's house.
It was dark and the shopkeepers were beginning to close their doors.
The old trooper of Henri IV sat in his doorway, smoking his pipe.
The clerk walked up and down the street several times; at last he
decided to accost Landry, saying to himself:
"It matters little whether I give the plume to the father or the mother.
I prefer to address myself to the father; men understand each other
better. I must be shrewd and subtle.--Ah! good evening, Master Landry!
How are you this evening? You are smoking, I see; that is a pleasant
pastime. I should like very much to smoke, if it did not make me sick
and make my head ache so that I can't see. I have an uncle who went into
consumption from smoking a pipe, and two cousins who were made
insane!--Ah! how pleasant it is to smoke!--The skies are dark to-night,
and I am afraid we shall have a storm to-morrow; that would be a
disappointment to me. I have a longing to take a ride in a _chaise à
porteurs_, or a _brouette_--the new invention, you know? it is very
convenient, and very fashionable in the best society; _brouettes_ cost
only sixteen sous for the trip, or eighteen by the hour; while the
_chaise à porteurs_ costs thirty sous for the trip. That is dear--yes,
it's very dear! But how comfortable it must be in one!--Still, it's very
nice in a _brouette_!"
Landry listened tranquilly to this outflow of words, eying the young
clerk the while; when it was at an end, he answered coldly:
"As I don't know you, and as it makes no difference to me whether you
ride in a _chaise_ or in a _brouette_, I am going to bed. Good-night!"
"Oh! stay a moment! You are in a terrible hurry. You do not recognize
me, because it is beginning to grow dark, but I am one of your best
customers; I bathe as many as fifteen times a week!--But so many people
come to your place that you can't recognize all their faces!"
"That is possible! In that case, excuse me; but I am tired, and I am
going to bed."
"One moment more, I beg!--Does your charming daughter also enjoy perfect
health, like her worthy father?"
The old soldier began to examine the clerk more closely, muttering:
"My daughter! do you know my daughter, monsieur de la Basoche?"
"Ah! I know her--without knowing her. I know that she is enchanting,
because I have seen her sometimes on your balcony, when she was watering
her flowers."
"Ah! you have seen her, have you? Very good; I begin to
understand.--Well, what are you trying to come at to-night?"
"I' faith! I will tell you. See--I have here a superb white plume; I had
it from an aunt who had it from an uncle, who was train bearer at the
court of King Charles IX.--To make a long story short, I said to
myself: 'Such a handsome plume as this is a pure luxury in my hands; if
I should offer it to Master Landry's daughter, it would be a gift worthy
of her charms, and it would shade becomingly her brow of roses and
lilies.'--That idea once conceived, I determined to put it in execution.
Here, excellent bath keeper, is the plume in question; you see how
beautiful it is! Pray take it and hand it to your fascinating progeny; I
desire no other reward than the pleasure of knowing that she is
gratified by the gift."
"Aha! my rascal! so you presume to offer a plume to my daughter, do you?
And you dare to ask her father to be your messenger? Ten thousand cannon
balls! this passes all bounds! It was probably you who prowled about
this street so much that it made the neighbors gossip!"
"Master Landry, I live on this street, it is true; but I have never
prowled about your----"
"Enough! enough! you impertinent rascal! coming to ask a father to take
charge of a present intended to seduce his daughter!"
"Why, not at all! you are off the track, my good Landry; I have no such
purpose."
"Ah! you take me for one of those half-witted or obliging fathers who
shut their eyes to such manœuvres! I am going to show you how I
receive gallants who would like to talk nonsense to my daughter!--Here,
you blackguard, here is the price of your gift!"
As he spoke, the bath keeper planted his foot in Plumard's
short-clothes, and repeated the movement several times, running after
the young clerk, who fled, yelling at the top of his voice.
Satisfied with the chastisement he had administered to the man whom he
believed to be in love with his daughter, Landry returned to his house
and locked the door.
As for the ill-fated Plumard, he hastened to his lodgings, holding his
hand to the portion of his frame that had been so roughly treated by the
bath keeper, and saying to himself:
"I should have done as well to execute my commission without making any
change in the text, without diverging from my instructions!--What a
brutal wretch that bath keeper is! He thinks now that I am in love with
his daughter! I shall not dare to pass his door--I shall have to
move.--However, if the pomade has the virtue that Bahuchet attributes to
it, I shall find some consolation for my late disagreeable experience. I
shall be so handsome with plenty of hair! I will go about bareheaded, I
will carry my cap in my hand all the time!"
* * * * *
These typographical errors were corrected by the etext transcriber:
Collége Saint-Denis=>Collège Saint-Denis
this underaking, do not pity me=>this undertaking, do not pity me
Turlupin and Gautier-Garguille=>Turlupin and Gauthier-Garguille