busines, and very tedious: as "Cover your head," sayes the Judge,
y^t is busied w^t causes, and is scanted of time to dispatche them.
And this fellow so full of these Ceremonies, after a number of legges
and shuflinge curtesis, aunswers againe: "Sir I am very well thus."
But sayes the Judge againe, "Cover your head I say." Yet this good
fellow tourning twise or thrise to & fro, making lowe conges downe to
the grounde w^t muche reverence and humilitie, aunswers him, still: "I
beseache your worship, let me doe my duetie." This busines and trouble
lasteth so long, & so muche time is trifled: that the Judge might very
nere have dispatched all his busines within that space. Then, although
it be every honest mans parte, and the duety of every meaner body, to
honour the Judges, and men y^t be called to worship & honour: yet,
where time will not beare it: it is a very troublesome thing to use it,
and it must be eschewed, or measured with reason.
Neither be y^e self same Ceremonies semely for young men, respecting
their Age: y^t ould men doe use together. Nor yet can it becom men of
meane and base condition, to use the very same, y^t gentlemen & greate
men may use one to another. And if wee marke it well, we shall find,
y^t the greatest, y^e best men, & men of most valour, doe not alwayes
use y^e most Ceremonies them selves, nor yet love nor looke a man
should make many goodly curtsies unto them, as men that can ill spend
their thoughts one matters so vaine.
Neither must handy crafts men, nor men of base condition, buisie them
selves to much, in over solemne Ceremonies to greate men, and Lordes:
it is not lookt for in suche. For they disdaine them, more then allowe
them: because it seemes that in such, they seeke, & looke, rather for
obedience and duetie, then honour. And therefore it is a foule faulte
in a servaunt, to offer his master his service: for he counts it his
shame, & he thinks the servant doth make a doubt, whether he is master
or no; as if it were not in him to imploy him, & commaund him too.
These kinde of Ceremonies would be used frankely. For, What a man
dothe of duetie, is taken for a debte, and hee finds him selfe litle
beholding to him that doth it. But he that dothe more then he is bound
to: it seems he parteth with somewhat, and that makes men to love him,
and to commende him for a liberall man. And I remember mee well, I have
hearde it saide, that a worthy Graecian a greate versifier, was ever
wont to saye: that He that could skill to entertaine men with a small
adventure, made a greate gaine.
You shall then use youre Ceremonies, as the tailer shapes his garments,
rather to large then to litle: but yet not so, that hee cutteth one
hose large inough to make a cloke. And if thou doe use in this point,
some litle gentle behaviour, to suche as be meaner then thy selfe:
thou shalt be counted lowly. And if thou doe asmuche to thy betters:
thou shalt bee saide a Gentleman well taught, and courtious. But hee
that dothe herin to muche, and is over lavishe, shalbe blamed as vaine
and light: and perhaps worse thought of too: counted a busie body, a
fidging fellowe, and in wise mens sight, a flatterer: which vice, our
elders have called, (if I doe not forget me) dowble diligence. And
there is no faulte in the worlde, more to bee abhorred, or y^t worsse
beseemes a gentleman, then this. And this is the thirde maner of
Ceremonies, which simply procedeth of our owne will, and not of custome.
Let us then remember, that Ceremonies, (as I have alwayes said) were
not so necessarie by nature, but a man might doe well inough without
them: As for example, our countrie lived (it is not long since) in
maner cleane without any. But other mens diseases have infected us,
with these infirmities and many mo. So that, custome and use observed:
the rest that is more, is but waste: and such a sufferable leesing, as
if it be more in deede then is in use, it is not only unsufferable, but
forbidden: and so uppon, the matter, a cold and unsavourie thing to
noble mindes, that cannot brouse uppon shrubbes and shewes.
And you shall understand, that trusting my owne skill but little, in
writing this present treatise: I thought good to consult with many, and
to take the Judgement of better learned men then my selfe. And this
in my reading I finde. There was a King, they call him Oedipus: being
banished and driven out of his countrie (uppon what occasion I know
not) he fled to King Theseus at Athens, the better to save him selfe
and his life, from his enemies, that mainely pursued him. This Oedipus
now comming before the presence of Theseus, by good chaunce hearing
his daughter speake, (whome he knew by her voice, for he was blind and
could not beholde her with his eyes) he was so presently striken with
joy, that, not tarying to doe his allegeaunce and duetie to the King,
he did presently embrace, & make much of his daughter before him: his
fatherly affection so led him, and rulde him so. But in the end finding
his fault, and better advising himselfe of his doings: he would needs
excuse it to Theseus, & humbly prayd his grace to pardon his folly. The
good and wise King, cut of his talke, and bad him leave his excuses,
and thus saide unto him: Comfort thy selfe, Oedipus, and bee not
dismayd at that thou hast done. For I will not have my life honoured
with other mens woordes, but with my owne deedes. Which sentence a man
should have alwayes in mind.
And albeit men be well pleased, that men doe give them worship &
honour: yet when they find them selves cuningly courted, they be soone
weary of it, and also disdaine it. For these glaverings, or flatteries
I should say, to amend their knaveries & falsehoodes, have this fault
withall: that these glavering fellowes doe plainly shewe, they count
him, whome they court in this sorte, but a vaine, and arrogant bodie,
an asse of grose capacitie, and so simple, y^t it should be an easie
matter to baite him and take him too. And these Vaine and Curious
Ceremonies, besides that they be superfluous: they beare with all a
shape of flattery, so slenderly covered, that every man doth openly see
them, and know them plaine: in suche sorte, that they that doe them,
to the end to make a gaine, besides that ill that is in them, wherof
I spake before: shewe them selves also, gentlemen ill taught, without
good maner or any honest fashion.
But there is another sorte of Ceremonious people, who make it an arte
and merchandise, and keepe a booke and a reconing of it. One these
men (they say) they must smile, on such men they must laughe: and
y^e better man shall sit in the chair, and the other uppon a lowe
stoole: which superstitious Ceremonies, I beleve, were transported
out of Spaine into Italie. But our country, hath geven them but colde
entertainement, and as yet they have taken but slender roote here: for
this precise difference of worship, and gentry, is not liked of, with
us. And therefore it is but ill maner, for a man to make him selfe
Judge, which is the better man.
But it is much worse for a man to make a sale of his Ceremonies and
entertainments, (after y^e maner of harlots) as I have seene many
gentlemen doe in the court, geving good wordes and faire countenaunces
for a rewarde and recompence, of the goods and the time, their
servaunts have spent in their service.
And sure they that take a pleasure to use over many Ceremonies, more
then neede: shewe they doe it uppon a lustines and bravery, as men that
have nothing elles in them of any valour.
And bycause these follies are learned w^t ease inough, and carry
withall a litle faire glose in shewe: they bestowe all their whole
mindes none other waye. But grave matters they can not abide to weelde,
as things to farre above their reache: and coulde finde in their harts
to dwell in these toyes and trifles, as men whose capacitie conceiveth
nought of Importaunce: like tender milkesops that can beare no brunt:
or that, beside a glorious outside, have not mettall inough in them to
abide a flea biting. And therfore, they could wishe it were so: that
these entertainments and acquaintance with men, should go no further
then the first sight. And of these there bee an infinite number.
And some againe be to full of words, and abound to muche in curtious
gestures to cover and hide the defects and faults of their treacheries,
and their vile & base natures: For they see, if they should be as baren
& rude in their woords, as they be in their deeds & their doings, men
would in no case abide them. And to saye a trueth, yow shall finde y^t
one of these two causes, drawe most men one, to use these wast and
needles Ceremonies, and nothing els: which lightly most men cannot away
withall, bycause they be hindered by them, & their meanes, to live as
they would, and lose their libertie: whiche a man dothe preferre above
anything ells.
Wee must not speake ill of other men, nor of their doings: althoughe it
plainely appere, that men do willingly lend good eare to heare it, as
easily moved therto, by y^e nature of malice and envy, that pines at
our Neighbours prosperity and rising to worship & honour: for at length
men will eschewe the acquaintaunce of Slaunderous people, as much as
they shunne the Oxe, y^t goreth with his horns, or strikes w^t his
feete: making their reconing, that what they tell them of us, asmuche
they will tell us, of them.
And some ther be, that so quarel at every word, question, and wrangle,
that they shew they have litle skill in other mens natures: for,
Every man desireth the victory should go one his side: and hates it
asmuche, to be mastered in words, as to be vanquished in any other acte
that he dothe. So y^t, willfully to overthwart a man, it workethe no
Love and good will: but rather displeasure, rancoure and malice. And
therfore, he that sekes to be well thought of, and would be taken for
a pleasaunt and good Companion, must not so redily use these speaches:
It was not so: And, Nay: it is as I tell you. I wil lay a wager with
you: But he must rather take pains, to apply himself to other mens
minds concerning such things, as have matter of small importaunce: By
cause the victorye, in such cases, is daungerous: for, the gaininge
the cause, in trifling questions, dooth often loose the Love of a
faithfull friend. And men are so farre out of love & liking, of such
hot fellowes: that they will by no meanes growe acquainted with suche,
least they be driven every hower to bralle, to chide, and to fighte
with them for it. And suche kinde of people doe purchase these names:
Maister Uniciguerra: Or, Sir Contraponi: Or, Sir Tuttesalle: And
sometime: il Dottor suttile.
And if you chaunce otherwhile, to be intreated of the company to
speake your mind: I would have you doe it after a gentle sort, without
shewing your selfe so greedie to carry the bucklers away, as if you
would eate them up for haste. But you must Leave to every man his
parte: And bee it right or wronge, consent to the minds of the most,
or the most importunate: and so leave the fielde unto them: that some
other, and not your selfe, may beate and sweat, and chace in the
winning of the cause. For these quarelous contentions, bee foule and
ill favoured fashions for gentlemen to use: and they get them ill will
and displeasure of all men for it: and they bee uncomely for their owne
unseemelines, which of it selfe offendeth every good honest minde, as
it may chaunce you shall heare hereafter.
But the common fault of men is such, and eche man is so infected with
this selfe love and liking of him selfe: that he hath no respect or
care to please any man ells.
And to shewe them selves fine headed, of muche understanding, and wise:
they counsell, reprove, dispute, and bralle, to daggers drawing, and
allowe nothing els but that they say them selves.
To offer advise, unrequested: what is it els but to vaunt youre selfe
wiser then he is, whom you do counsell: nay rather it is a plaine
checke to him, for his Ignoraunce and folly. And therfore, you must not
do so, with all your acquaintance generally: but only with your very
friendes, or suche whom you are to governe & rule: or els, when a man
hapely standes in daunger & perill, how muche a straunger so ever he
be. But in our common Acquaintance and conversation, Let us not busy
our selves, and medle to muche with other mens doings. In which fault
many doe fall: but most of all, the men of least understanding. For,
Men of grose capacities consider but litle: And they take no longe time
to debate with them selves, as men that have litle busines to doe.
But how so ever it be, hee that offereth and geveth his counsell: geves
us to thinke, hee hathe this conceite of him selfe: that all the witt
is in him, and other poore men have none at all.
And sure there bee some, that stand so muche in conceite of their wit:
that they will be in maner, at warres, with him, that wil not follow
the counsell they give them. And thus they will say: "Very well: a
poore mans counsell will not be taken: suche a one will doe as he list:
suche a one geves no heede to my wordes." As though there were not more
Arrogancie in thee, that sekest to bring a man to followe thy Counsell:
then there is in him, that followes his owne advise.
And they doe also make the like fault, y^t take uppon them to reprove
and correct mens faults, and to geve a definite sentence in all things,
and lay the lawe to all men. "Suche a thing would not be done: You
spake suche woordes: Doe not so: say not so: The wine that you drinke
is not good for you: it would be red wine. You should use suche an
Electuarie, and suche pilles:" And they never leave to reprove and
correct. And let us passe that over, that otherwhile, they busy them
selves so much, to purge other mens grounds: that their owne is
overgrowen, and full of thornes and nettles. For it is a mervailous
paine unto them, to heare one that side.
And as there be few or none, whose minds can frame, to spend their
life with a Physition, a Confessour, and muche lesse a Judge that hath
jurisdiction and power to controwle and correct all criminall faultes:
so is ther not one, that can take any pleasure to live, or make himself
familiar with suche Censors: so hard, and severe. For, every man loveth
libertye: and they woulde robbe us of it, and get to be our masters.
So that it is no good manner to be so redie to corect and give rules
unto men: we must geve Scholemasters and Fathers leave to do that. And
yet that notwithstanding, experience doth shewe, the childeren and
scholers both, do often hide them selves from them, you see.
I doe not allow, that a man should scorne or scoffe at any man, what so
ever he be: no not his very enimy, what displeasure so ever he beare
him: for, it is a greater signe of contempt and disdaine, to scorne a
man, then to do him an open wrong: forasmuch as wrongs may be done,
either of choler, or of som covetous minde or other. And ther is no man
will take a displeasure with that, or for that, he doth not set by: nor
yet covet that thing, he doth altogether contemne. So that, a man doth
make some accompt of him he dothe wronge: but of him that he scoffes
and scornes, he makes no reconing at all, or as litle as may be.
And the Nature and effect of a scorne, is properly to take a
contentation and pleasure to do another man shame and villany: thoughe
it do our selves no good in the world. So that, good maner & honesty,
would us beware we scorne no man in any case: wherin they be much to
be blamed, that reprove men those blemishes they have in their person,
either in woords, as Master Forese da Rabatta did, laughing at the
countenaunce of Master Giotta: or in deeds, as many doe, counterfeting
those that stutter, haulte, or be crookte shoulderd. And likewise,
they that scoffe at any man, that is deformed, ill shapen, leane,
litle, or a dwarfe, ar much to be blamed for it: or, that make a gibing
and jesting at such follies as another man speaketh, or the woordes
that escape him by chaunce: and with all, have a sporte and a pleasure
to make a man blush: all these spitefull behaviours and fashions,
worthely deserve to be hated, and make them that use them, unworthy to
beare the name of an honest gentleman.
And such as use to jest at a man, be very like unto these: I meane
them that have a good sport to mocke and beguile men, not in spite or
scorne, but on a meriment alone. And you shall understand, There is
no difference betweene a scorne and a mocke: but the purpose alone
and intent a man hath, in the meaning the one or the other. For a man
mockes and laughes otherwhile, in a sport and a pastime: but his scorne
is ever in a rage and disdaine. Although in common speache and writing,
wee take the one woorde sometime for the other. But He that doth scorne
a man: feeleth a contentation in the shame he hath done him: And hee
that dothe mocke, or but laughe: taketh no contentation in that he hath
done: but a sport, to be merry & passe the time away: where it would
be, both a greefe and a sorrow, perchaunce, unto him, to see that man
receave any shame, by any thing he said or did unto him.
And althoughe I profited litle, in my Grammar in my youthe; yet I
remember that Mitio, who loved Aeschines so muche, that he him selfe
had wonder at it; yet other while, toke a sporte & a pleasure to mocke
him: as when he said to him selfe: I will go to give him a mocke: so
that, I must inferre, that the selfe same thing, done to the very selfe
same body: according to the intent of him that doth it, may be either a
mocke or scorne.
And bycause our purpose, cannot be plainely knowne unto other men: it
shall not be good for us to use such parts, as bring men in doubt and
suspicion, what our intent and meaning is in them: but rather let us
eschewe them, then seeke to be counted Jesters. For, It many times
chaunceth, in boording and Jesting, one tackes in sporte, the other
strikes againe in earnest: & thus from playing, they come to fraying.
So, he that is familiarly mockte in pastime, recons it, otherwhile,
to be done to his shame & dishonour, and therat he takes a disdaine.
Besides this, A mocke is no better, then a deceite. And naturally, it
greveth every man to erre and be deceived. So that, many Reasons ther
be to prove, That He that seekes to purchase goodwill, and be well
thought of: must not make him selfe to cunning in mockes and Jestes.
It is very true, we are not able, in no wise, to leade this paineful
life, altogether without some pleasure and solace: And bycause Jestes
do geve us some sporte, and make us merry, and so consequently refreash
our spirits: we love them that be pleasaunt, merry conceited, and
full of solace. So that a body would thinke, I should rather persuade
the contrarie: I meane, I shoulde say: It is convenient and meete in
company, to use prety mockes, and otherwhile some Jestes and taunts.
And without doubt, they that can stint after a friendly and gentle
sort, be muche more made of, and better beloved then they that cannot
skill or have no wit to doe it. Howbeit, it is needeful in this, to
have a respect to many things.
And forasmuche as it is the intent of him that doth Jest: to make a
sport and pastime at his faulte, whome he doth love and esteeme, and of
whom he doth make more then a common account: it must be well lookte
to, that the fault, wherin his friend hath fallen, be suche, as he may
sustaine no slaunder or shame, or any harme by any talke or Jeste he
makes uppon it: otherwise, his skil doth ill serve him, to make a good
difference betweene a pleasaunt Jest, and a very plaine wronge.
And there be some men, so short & so testy, that you must, in no wise,
be merry, nor use any jesting with them. And that can Biondello well
tell, by Maister Philippo Argenti in the gallery of Caviccioli.
And moreover, It cannot be good to jeaste in matters of weite, and
muche lesse in matters of shame. For, men will weene that wee have
a good sporte (as the common saying is) to bragge and boast in our
evill: as it is said, the Lady Philippe of Prato, took a singular
pleasure and contentation in the pleasaunt & prety aunswer she made, to
excuse her loose and wanton life. And therefore, I cannot thinke that
Lupo of Uberti did any thing extenuat or lessen his shame: but rather
increaste it greater, by the Jeste that hee made to excuse his faulte,
and qualifye the opinion of his cowardly minde. For, where he might
have kept him selfe safe without daunger in the castle of Laterin,
wherein he was besieged round about, and shutte up: hee thought hee
had plaide the man good inoughe, in that hee could say at the yealding
it up: that "A wolfe doth not love to be besieged and shutte up." For,
where it is out of time for to laughe, there to use any Jestes or
daliaunce, it hath a very colde Grace.
And further, you shall understand, there be some Jestes y^t bite, &
some y^t bite not at all. For the first sorte: let y^t wise counsell
that Lauretta gave for that point, suffice to teach you: That Jestes
must bite the hearer like a sheepe, but not like a dogge. For if
it pinche, as the bite of a dogge: it shalbe no more a Jeste but a
wronge. And the lawes almost in all countries, will, that who saith any
villanie unto a man, shalbe grevously punished for it. And, perchaunce,
it were not amisse, to provide with all, some sharp correction for him,
that should bite in way of jesting, beyond all honest measure. But
gentlemen should make account, that the lawe that punisheth wronges,
extendeth as farre to jestes, and that they should seldome or very
easily nip or taunt any man.
And besides all this, you must understand, that a jest, whether it
bite, or bite not, if it be not fine & full of wit, men take no
pleasure at al to heare it, but rather are wearied with it: or at least
wise, if they doe laughe, they laughe not at the jest, but at the
jester him selfe, that brings it forthe so colde.
And bycause, Jestes be no other thing but deceites: and deceite (as
a thing that is framed of subtilenes & craft) cannot be wrought but
of men, that have fine and redy wittes, and very present: therefore
they have no grace in men that be rude, and of grose understanding:
not yet in them alwayes, that have the best and floweing wittes: as,
peradventure, they did not altogether become Master John Boccaccio.
But tauntes and Jestes be a special redines and aptnes of wit, and
quicken the motions of the minde: wherefore they that have discretion,
doe not in this point, consider their will, but their disposition of
nature: and after they have once or twise tried their wittes, and finde
them unfit for suche purpose: they leave to labour them selves any
further in that kind of exercise: that it may not chaunce unto them,
that hapt to the knight of the lady Horetta. And if you looke in to the
maners of many, you shall easily see, this that I tell you is true:
I say, that To Jest or to taunt, is not currant with every man that
will, but onely with them that can. And there be many that for every
purpose, have in their mouth redy, many of these wordes, which wee call
Bicticcichi: that have no maner of sense or meaning in them. And some,
that use very foolishly and fondly to chaunge Sillables into woords.
And some you shall heare speake and make answer, otherwise then a man
would lightly looke for, without any wit or pleasure in the world in
their talke. And if you doe aske them, "Doue e il signore?" they answer
againe. "Doue egli ha i piedi:" and likewise "Et gli fece unguer le
mani con le grascia di signore Giovan Boccadoro. Doue mi manda egli?
Ad Arno. Io mi voglió radere, Sarebbe meglio rodere. Va chiama il
Barbieri. Et perrhe non il Barbadomani." Al which be to grose, to rude
and to stale: and such were almost, all the pleasaunt purposes and
jestes of Dioneo.
But I will not take uppon me at this time, to discourse of the best
and the worst kinde of jestes, what they be: aswel for that other men
have written treatises thereof much more lernedly and better then I
can: as also, bycause jestes and tauntes, have at first sight, a large
and sure proofe of their grace or disgrace: such, as thou canst not
do much amisse in this point, w^tout thou stand to much in thy owne
conceite, and think to well of thy selfe: for where the jest is prety
and pleasaunt, there a man straite is merry, and shewes a liking by
laughing, and makes a kinde of admiration of it. So that, where the
company geves foorth no liking of thy sportes and conceites, by their
mirthes and their laughing: hould thy selfe still then, and jest no
more. For it is thy owne faulte thou must think, and not theirs that
do heare the: forasmuch as the hearers, as it were allured, with the
redie, pleasaunt, and subtile aunswers or questions (do what they can,
will they or nill they) cannot forbeare their laughing, but laughe in
spite of their teeth. From whom as from our right & lawfull Judges, wee
must not appeale to our selves.
Neither must a man, to make other men merie, speake foule and filthie
wordes, nor make ilfavoured gestures, distorting his countenaunce, &
disfiguring his bodie: For, No man should, for other mens pleasures,
dishonest & dishonour him self. It is an arte for a Juggler & jester to
use: it doth not become a gentleman to do so. We must not then, imitate
y^e common and rude behaviours of Dioneo. Madonna Aldruda Alzate La
coda.