CHAPTER 19

The lowliest flowers the closest cling to earth,

And they first feel the sun; so violets blue,

So the soft star-like primrose drenched in dew,

The happiest of spring’s happy fragrant birth,

To gentlest touches, sweetest tones reply;

So humbleness, with her low-breathed voice,

Can steal o’er man’s proud heart, and win his choice.

‘She is ready to see you,’ said Arthur, meeting Theodora, as she came

down at nine the next morning after church.

Violet’s face, white as a lily, was on the pillow, and a little dark

downy head was beside her.

A sense of being too late, of neglect and disappointment, rushed over

Theodora, and made her looks not what the mother expected, as with

smiling eyes and feeble voice she said, ‘Your niece, dear Theodora.’

‘I did not know--’ were Theodora’s first words, and their dissatisfied

sound made Arthur regret his abrupt introduction; though she recovered

herself enough to say something of gladness, and of hopes that Violet

was comfortable.

‘Yes, thank you, quite. I am so thankful! I am so glad of everything.

Now I hope Arthur will not lose the 12th of August.’

‘Only don’t talk now, my sweet one. Come, Theodora,’ as if he only

wanted to get her out of the room.

‘I have not looked at the baby. What a fine one!’ and she was going to

take her.

‘Oh, please don’t!’ said Violet; ‘she will begin screaming again!’ Then,

seeing the cloud return, ‘Presently, dear aunt, when she wakes. Is not

she a beauty?’

Arthur, his hand on the door, hurried Theodora again.

‘I will come’ she said, impatiently, ‘I will come and sit with you after

breakfast, Violet; I only wish I had been called.’

‘Indeed, I know how kind you would have been,’ said Violet, holding her

hand, and watching to see whether the displeasure was removed: ‘but

it seemed a pity to disturb you. Please don’t be vexed; I’ll give you

plenty of trouble yet.’

She had, roused herself enough to alarm Arthur and the nurse.

‘This will never do,’ he said, laying his hand on his sister’s arm, and

drawing her away almost by force: ‘You MUST keep quiet, Violet.’

‘I will, indeed, but please, Theodora--’

‘She pleases all you wish. Never mind,’ said Arthur, fairly putting her

out, then stepping back, ‘Lie still, and mind your big baby; that is all

you have to do.’

‘Only don’t let her be vexed.’

‘No such thing.’

But when out of Violet’s hearing he could not refrain from telling

Theodora his displeasure. ‘I thought you had more sense, or I would

never have let you in.’

‘I knew nothing of it.’

‘Your own fault for marching off at that time in the morning! I had been

up to tell you, and could not think where you were.’

‘Why was I not allowed to be of use?’

‘A pretty specimen of your usefulness, vexing her with your black looks,

till she was talking herself into a fever!’

‘Surely she is doing well?’

‘She was, unless you have undone everything with your humours.’

‘I don’t know what you mean.’

That was the last word. Theodora sat swelling under the sense of

injustice and neglect, where she had intended to be so important;

and Arthur was weary enough in mind and body to be more than usually

sensible of her ungraciousness, and to miss the refreshment of cheerful

sympathy. On going up after breakfast he found Violet weaker and more

ill than he had previously thought her, and her solicitous inquiries

about his sister made him the more attribute this to distress at those

moody looks. He would not hear of again admitting Theodora, and in

bitterness of spirit she wrote the letters, and tried to content

Johnnie--all in vain; for strive to conceal it as she would, he always

seemed to perceive her bad moods, and never would be happy with her when

she was in one of them.

Every hour brought fresh mortification. She was jealous of Arthur’s

being needful to the patient, and jealous of being left by him; angry at

being treated as useless, and angry at the work she had to do; certain

that her ill temper was Arthur’s fancy, yet certain he had caused it;

anxious about Violet, yet disdaining his anxiety. She was much

annoyed at his keeping aloof from her unpleasing looks, deserting the

dinner-table after the first course, and when she had waited long for

him, leaving her to discover that he had had a cup of tea in Violet’s

room, and was gone down to smoke. The kindly affections that had always

been the hope of her character were rejected and thwarted, and thus

thrown back on herself, the wayward wilful spirit began to rise.

She paced the dull walk in the square gardens in the summer twilight,

and thought of the life before her, uncherished at home, an intruder in

the family where she had expected to earn fond gratitude, rejected by

him who had loved her from childhood!

There was an alternative! One look of encouragement, and Lord St. Erme

was at her disposal, ready to rejoice at acceptance, even if she should

tell him that she had no heart to bestow. She would be no longer spurned

and cast aside; she should be able to befriend Violet, she would live

uncontrolled, adored; above all, she would teach Percy Fotheringham

that she did not pine for him! She would belie those foolish tears that

Violet had seen her shed!

As she opened the gate to leave the gardens, Lord St. Erme rode by

with a young lady. Was he passing from her power? The spirit of

rivalry prompted a gracious bow and smile. He checked his horse, looked

delighted, and introduced ‘his sister.’

A fair, delicate, blushing girl of sixteen, a pretty likeness of

himself, bent her head low, and Theodora felt that her blue eyes were

intently perusing her under their downcast lids, while the brother’s

tones almost trembled with the pleasure of her unwonted look of

encouragement. He said that he was enjoying having his sister alone

with him, at his aunt’s house in London, for a short time, and added

something about calling. She gave one of her bewitching smiles, and they

rode on.

There at least she was prized! How unlike this to the treatment she met

with from her own family! If she could not love the Earl, she could do

very well without that nonsense; and she should escape from her unloving

home, begin a new life, reign queen o’er herself and him, idolized,

uncontradicted, with ample opportunities of usefulness, triumphant over

him who had disdained her.

So she mused while taking off her bonnet, till Sarah brought a message

that Mrs. Martindale would be glad to see her. An hour ago and she would

have rejoiced; now, Arthur’s household was becoming a secondary object,

since they had rejected her, and driven her to seek fresh interests.

She was received with hands outstretched. ‘Dear Theodora, thank you.

Will you stay and take care of baby and me while nurse goes to supper?’

‘If I may.’

‘Thank you. Nurse, pray give baby to Miss Martindale. You need not

hurry; I shall be so comfortable.’

The sweet pale face and languid eyes were as a charm to expel all but

kindly thoughts, as Theodora sat down with the living weight warm on

her lap, and the gentle mother at intervals softly asking about her boy.

‘Poor little man, they would not let him come in: they kept away both

the people I wanted.’

‘Arthur guards you most jealously.’

‘Yes, is not he a wonderful nurse? I had to exercise a little self-will

in getting you here. How good we must be to make him forgive us!’

Next. ‘You cannot think what a difference it makes to have you here. I

never need think about Arthur’s being made comfortable.’

Theodora’s sincerity longed for confession, and she refrained with

difficulty. Those unconscious words set her vile temper before her in

its true light. She had resented the being treated with consideration,

and had been moody towards her brother, because he was under anxiety!

Self-convicted, she gave a deep sigh; but fearing again to distress

Violet, began to admire the baby, who was in truth a remarkably large

and handsome child, very dark and like the Martindales, and, both in

size and serenity, such a contrast to her brother, that, proud as

she was of her, her mamma only half liked praise of her that might be

depreciation of him, and began to defend him from the charge of crying

before he had had strength for it.

Her name, of course, was to be Helen, and to this Violet softly added,

Theodora.

‘No, no; that will bring her no good. It is Aunt Nesbit’s name.’

‘It is one I love the sound of.’

‘You won’t another time.’

Violet vaguely perceived something amiss; but too weak to think about

it, closed her eyes and fell into a doze.

Those few gentle sayings had brought back Theodora’s affection and sense

of right. She longed to recall her glance. If it had taken effect she

must persevere. She could not endure the humiliation of having a third

time trifled with a lover; she would not feel herself sunk into a mere

coquette. But what would Violet think!

Violet suddenly awoke with a terrified gaze. ‘Arthur! Arthur! O, where

is he!’

‘Down-stairs, dearest; he will come.’ But to her extreme alarm, the

words had no effect.

‘Arthur! O, when will he come? Why did he go away?’

Dismayed out of all presence of mind, Theodora rang with a violent

peal, and flew down-stairs, the baby in her arms, rousing Arthur from

a slumber in his chair by breathless tidings that Violet was worse--was

delirious; Mr. Harding must be sent for--

When Arthur had hurried up-stairs, it proved to be only a frightened

wakening, such as had often happened last year. She was perfectly

conscious, but so much fluttered and agitated by Theodora’s own

proceedings, that it was with great difficulty that Arthur could soothe

and tranquillize her on her baby’s account. The nurse was very angry,

and Theodora perceived her delinquency might have serious consequences,

especially when she beheld Violet, still tremulous from the alarm,

endeavouring to reassure them, to shield her from displeasure, and to

take all the blame to herself for her foolish terror.

There was an end of Theodora’s grand designs of nursing! She could only

enter the room at all by favour of the patient and by sufferance of the

nurse; and she could attempt no remonstrance when ordered off by her

brother, and even felt unworthy of Violet’s kiss.

That little scene of trivialities had been her first true humiliation.

It had shown her the vanity of her boast of strength of mind; for when

she thought of the morning’s unreasonable ill-humour, and unkindness to

her brother and his wife at such a moment, and of the coquetry with Lord

St. Erme, she was indeed lowered in her own eyes; and it was sorrow, not

bitterness.

Her heart was very heavy, but less hard. Slowly had the power of

Violet’s meekness and lowliness been stealing into her affections and

undermining her pride. Perhaps the direct attacks of Percy, though

strongly resisted, had in reality given a shock which prepared the way

for the silent effect of sweetness and forbearance. At any rate, she was

now sincerely sorry for the sin as well as the folly of the past day,

and felt that it might bring a penalty in perplexities about Lord St.

Erme, if he had really taken her smile for encouragement.

Many were her resolutions of amiability for to-morrow; but she was

disappointed. Violet had passed a restless night, and could not be

visited; and Arthur, after his experience of yesterday, was in no haste

to subject himself to his sister’s humours. Her two years of caprice and

neglect had told even on his easy temper.

It had long been a scheme of hers to surprise Violet on her recovery

with a likeness of Johnnie, taken by a small, humble niece of Mrs.

Harrison’s, lately started in life as an artist in crayons; and in

the midst of yesterday’s sullenness she had taken measures which this

morning brought the lady to Cadogan-place, at the hour when he was most

likely to be in his best looks. Sarah, highly approving of anything that

exalted Master John, sedulously traced the one-sided masculine division

in his flaxen locks, and tied his best white frock with scarlet ribbons,

in honour, as she said, of his being ‘a little granny-dear’; and

Theodora carried him down, and heard him pronounced ‘a lovely

interesting darling.’

Sitting well was not, however, one of his perfections; he could not

be induced to show his face to a stranger, and turned from toys and

pictures, with arms stretched out to his aunt, and piteous calls for

mamma: to Theodora’s further despair Arthur came in, and stood amazed,

so that she had to unfold her plans, and beg him to keep the secret. He

smiled, saying she might as well take a picture of a washed-out doll;

but that Violet would be sure to like it.

Meantime the child was presenting a golden opportunity; fixed in rapt

contemplation of his father, and gazing motionless, with one little foot

doubled under him, and one tiny white arm drooping over the crimson

sofa cushion. Miss Piper sketched as if for her life. Theodora directed

Arthur’s attention to his little son. He spoke to him, and was surprised

and pleased at the plainness of the reply, and the animated spring

of gladness. In another minute he was sitting on the floor, most

successfully entertaining the child, while Miss Piper could hardly

help drawing that handsome black head in contrast with the small, white

creature, whose morsels of hands were coaxing his brown red cheeks;

and Theodora looked on, amused to see how papa succeeded in drawing out

those pretty, hesitating smiles, so embellishing to the little face,

that had generally more than the usual amount of baby gravity.

They were in full debate whether he should be represented smiling or

grave; the aunt wishing the latter as the habitual expression, the

father declaring that ‘the fellow was only fit to be seen smiling like

his mother;’ when suddenly there was an announcement--

‘Lady Lucy Delaval and Lord St. Erme.’

Arthur hardly had time to start up from the ground, his colour deepening

with discomfiture as he glanced at the disarray of the room, littered

with playthings, displaced cushions, newspapers, with which he had been

playing bo-peep, drawing materials, all in as much confusion as the

hair, which, in an unguarded moment, he had placed at the mercy of

Johnnie’s fingers.

Theodora comprehended the sharp click with which he rang the nursery

bell, and the half frown with which he watched in dread of a cry, while

Lady Lucy tried to make friends with Johnnie.

The drawing was brought under discussion, but he held aloof after one

look, which Theodora perceived to be disapproving, though she did not

know that the reason was that the smile, somewhat overdone by Miss

Piper, had brought out one of old Mr. Moss’s blandest looks. Meantime

Lord St. Erme talked to the little artist, giving her some valuable

hints, which she seized with avidity, and then quietly retreated.

Arthur tried to talk to Lady Lucy; but she was very young, not yet come

out, timid, and, apparently, afraid of something that she had to say,

watching Miss Martindale as earnestly as she dared; while Lord St. Erme

spoke eagerly, yet as if he hardly knew what he was saying, of art,

music, books, striving in vain to obtain one of the looks of yesterday.

It warmed Theodora’s heart to feel herself the object of such

enthusiastic admiration, but she preserved her look of rigid

indifference. It was a long visit; but at last the brother made the

move, looking at his sister, as if to remind her of something.

‘Oh, Miss Martindale,’ said she, with an effort, ‘we thought you must be

staying in a great deal. Would you be so kind, now and then, as to walk

with me?’

This was an alarming request, and not very easy to refuse. Theodora said

something of seeing about it, and hoping--

‘It would be such a treat,’ said Lady Lucy, growing bolder, as the two

gentlemen were speaking to each other. ‘My aunt is gone to her brother’s

little parsonage, where there is no room for me, and my governess had to

go home, luckily, so that we are quite alone together; and St. Erme said

perhaps you would be so kind sometimes as to walk with me--’

Theodora smiled. ‘I hope we may meet sometimes,’ said she. ‘If my sister

was down-stairs perhaps we might; but I am engaged to her.’

Thus ended the visit, and Arthur, hastily throwing the cushions back

into their places, demanded, ‘What on earth could possess those folks to

come here now!’

‘It was an inconvenient time,’ said Theodora.

‘Dawdling and loitering here!--a man with nothing better to do with his

time!’

‘Nay,’ said Theodora, touched by the injustice; ‘Lord St. Erme is no man

not to know how to dispose of his time.’

‘Whew!’ whistled Arthur; ‘is the wind gone round to that quarter? Well,

I thought better of you than that you would like a fellow that can do

nothing but draw, never shoots over his own moors, and looks like

a German singer! But do put the room tidy; and if you must have the

nursery down here, put it into the back room, for mercy sake!’

He went away, having thus stirred her feelings in the St. Erme

direction, and he left them to take their chance for the rest of the

day. She took a solitary walk; on her return saw a hat in the hall, and

asking whether Mr. Harding was there, was told no, but that Mr. Gardner

was with Captain Martindale. And after long waiting till Arthur should

come to dinner, he only put in his head, saying, ‘Oh, Theodora, are you

waiting? I beg your pardon, I am going out to dinner. You can sit with

Violet; and if she should want me, which she won’t, James knows where to

find me.’

Theodora scorned to inquire of the servant whither his master was gone;

but her appetite forsook her at the sight of the empty chair, and the

recollection of the warning against Mark Gardner.

This was not her last solitary dinner. Arthur had engagements almost

every day, or else went to his club; and when at home, if he was not

with Violet, he sat in his own room, and would never again assist at

the sittings, which were completed under less favourable auspices,

soon enough to allow time for the framing before the mamma should come

down-stairs. Her recovery proceeded prosperously; and Theodora was quite

sufficiently in request in her room to be satisfied, and to make it

difficult to find a spare afternoon to go and order one of her favourite

oak frames.

However, she was at length able to make the expedition; and she was busy

in giving directions as to the width of margin, when from the interior

of the shop there came forward no other than the Earl of St. Erme.

They shook hands, and she sent her excuses to Lady Lucy for having been

too much occupied to call, asking whether she was still in town.

‘Only till Thursday,’ he said, ‘when I take her to join my aunt, who is

to show her the Rhine.’

‘Do not you go with them?’

‘I have not decided. It depends upon circumstances. Did not I hear

something of your family visiting Germany?’

‘Perhaps they may,’ said Theodora, dryly. He began to study the

portrait, and saw some likeness, but was distressed by something in the

drawing of the mouth.

‘Yes,’ said Theodora, ‘I know it is wrong; but Miss Piper could not see

it as I did, and her alterations only made it worse, till I longed to be

able to draw.’

‘I wonder if I might venture,’ said Lord St. Erme, screwing up his eye,

and walking round the picture. ‘I am sure, with your artist eye, you

must know what it is not to be able to keep your hands off.’

‘Not I,’ said Theodora, smiling. ‘Pencils are useless tools to me. But

it would be a great benefit to the picture, and Miss Piper will fancy it

all her own.’

‘You trust me, then?’ and he turned to ask for a piece of chalk, adding,

‘But is it not too bold a measure without the subject?’

‘He is in the carriage, with his nurse;’ and Theodora, unable to resist

so material an improvement to her gift, brought him in, and set him up

on the counter opposite to a flaming picture of a gentleman in a red

coat, which he was pleased to call papa, and which caused his face to

assume a look that was conveyed to the portrait by Lord St. Erme, and

rendered it the individual Johnnie Martindale, instead of merely a pale

boy in a red sash.

Theodora was too much gratified not to declare it frankly, and to say

how much charmed his mother would be; and she was pleased by a remark of

Lord St. Erme, that showed that his poet mind comprehended that wistful

intelligence that gave a peculiar beauty to Johnnie’s thin white face.

She thought to pay off her obligations by an immediate visit to his

sister, while she knew him to be safe out of the way; and, driving to

Mrs. Delaval’s, she sent her nephew home, intending to walk back.

Lady Lucy was alone, and she found her a gentle, simple-hearted girl,

with one sole affection, namely, for the brother, who was the whole

world to her; and taking Miss Martindale, on his word, as an object of

reverence and admiration. It was impossible not to thaw towards her: and

when Theodora spoke of the embellishment of the portrait, she needed

no more to make her spring up, and fetch a portfolio to exhibit her

brother’s drawings. Admirable they were; sketches of foreign scenery,

many portraits, in different styles, of Lady Lucy herself, and the

especial treasure was a copy of Tennyson, interleaved with illustrations

in the German style, very fanciful and beautiful. Theodora was, however,

struck by the numerous traces she saw of the Lalla Rookh portrait. It

was there as the dark-eyed Isabel; again as Judith, in the Vision of

Fair Women; it slept as the Beauty in the Wood; and even in sweet St.

Agnes, she met it refined and purified; so that at last she observed,

‘It is strange how like this is to my mother.’

‘I think it must be,’ said Lady Lucy; ‘for I was quite struck by your

likeness to St. Erme’s ideal sketches.’

Rather annoyed, Theodora laughed, and turning from the portfolio, asked

if she did not also draw?

‘A little; but mine are too bad to be looked at.’

Theodora insisted, and the drawings were produced: all the best had

been done under Lord St. Erme’s instruction. The affection between the

brother and sister touched her, and thinking herself neglectful of a

good little girl, she offered to take the desired walk at once. While

Lady Lucy was preparing, however, the brother came home, and oh! the

inconvenient satisfaction of his blushing looks.

Yet Theodora pardoned these, when he thanked her for being kind to his

sister; speaking with a sort of parental fondness and anxiety of his

wish to have Lucy with him, and of his desire that she should form

friendships that would benefit her.

Never had he spoken with so much reality, nor appeared to so much

advantage; and it was in his favour, too, that Theodora contrasted this

warm solicitude for his young sister with the indifference of her own

eldest brother. There was evidently none of the cold distance that was

the grievance of her home.

‘Lady Lucy is almost out of the school-room,’ she said. ‘You will soon

be able to have her with you in the country.’

‘There are certainly some considerations that might make me resolve on

an English winter,’ said Lord St. Erme.

‘Every consideration, I should think.’

‘Fogs and frosts, and clouds, that hang like a weight on the whole

frame,’ said Lord St. Erme, shivering.

‘Healthy, freshening mists, and honest vigorous frosts to brace one for

service,’ said Theodora, smiling.

‘O, Miss Martindale!’ cried Lady Lucy, entering, ‘are you persuading St.

Erme to stay all the year in England? I do so wish he would.’

‘Then you ought to make him,’ said Theodora.

‘If Miss Martindale were to express a wish or opinion--’

She saw it was time to cut him short. ‘Every one’s opinion must be the

same,’ she said.

‘O,’ cried Lucy, ‘of course Italy is pleasanter. It is selfish to

wish to keep him here; but if I had my will, we would live together at

Wrangerton, and have such nice poor people.’

‘A “chateau en Espagne” indeed, my little sister. Wrangerton is a most

forlorn place, an old den of the worst period of architecture, set down

just beyond the pretty country, but in the programme of all the tourists

as a show place; the third-rate town touching on the park, and your nice

poor people not even the ordinary English peasantry, but an ill-disposed

set of colliers.’

Theodora looked, but did not speak.

‘Miss Martindale thinks me a laggard, but she hears my excuse.’

‘If they are ill-disposed,’ said Theodora, in her low, severe voice

(she could not help it), ‘it is for want of influence from the right

quarter.’

‘My agent tells me they are perfectly impracticable.’

‘Knights of old liked something impracticable.’ She was almost ready

to check herself; but there was something inspiriting in the idea of

awakening this youth, who seemed to catch at her words as if she were a

damsel sending forth a champion. His reply was--

‘Those were days worth living for. Then the knight’s devoir was poetry

in real life.’

‘Devoir is always poetry in real life,’ said Theodora. ‘What is it but

the work ready to hand? Shrinking from it is shrinking from the battle.

Come, Lady Lucy, I will not detain you.’

Lord St. Erme seemed about to say something as he shook hands, but it

did not come. The walk was passed by the simple-hearted Lucy discoursing

of the events by which she counted her eras, namely, his visits. Her

perfect brother was her only theme.

Heartsease; Or, The Brother's Wife · 第 19 / 26 章