_Monday, June 25th_.--Mr. LYNCH is beginning to pine for the return of
Lord ROBERT CECIL. He does not quite know what to make of Mr. BALFOUR,
who politely represses his honest endeavours to elucidate the situation
in Greece, and actually declared to-day that the difficulties of the
Allies would only be increased by the hon. Member's attempts to deal
with them piecemeal. Mr. LYNCH was not entirely done with, however. "Is
that reply," he asked in a "got-him-this-time" manner, "given by reason
of freedom of choice or ineludible necessity?" "Sir," replied the
apologist of philosophic doubt with Johnsonian authority, "questions of
freewill and necessity have perplexed mankind for ages."
The House will be delighted to welcome back to its fold Sir ROBERT
HERMAN-HODGE, whose flowing moustaches, once described as "the best
definition of infinity," have been, at intervals, its pride and joy for
over thirty years. But it will have to wait a while, for--strange lapse
on the part of a hero of half-a-dozen contests!--Sir ROBERT had omitted
to bring with him the returning-officer's certificate. Lord HALSBURY,
delayed by a similar accident on his first appearance in the House forty
years ago, systematically turned out the contents of seemingly endless
pockets and eventually discovered the missing document in his hat.
At this crisis in Ireland's affairs you might suppose that all good
Nationalists would remain in their country, doing their best to make the
Convention a success. Mr. DILLON prefers to attack the Government at
Westminster, because it proposes to set up a Conference to consider the
future composition and powers of the Second Chamber. Was it not, he
asked, a breach of privilege to do this without the express consent of
the House of Commons? The SPEAKER thought not, and referred his
questioner to the preamble of the Parliament Act of 1911, in which such
action was distinctly contemplated. Mr. DILLON, thus suddenly
transported to the dear dead days before the War, when he was
hand-in-glove with the present PRIME MINISTER, considers that Mr.
LOWTHER is open to censure for possessing a memory of such indecent
length and accuracy.
_Tuesday, June 26th_.--A gentle creature at ordinary times, Lord
STRACHIE has been roused to unexpected ferocity by the German air-raids,
and advocates a policy of unmitigated reprisals upon the enemy's cities.
Had his appeal been successful he would have been recorded in history as
the mildest-mannered man that ever bombed a German baby. But Lord DERBY
would have none of it. British aeroplanes--of which, like every nation
engaged in the War, we have none too many--shall only be employed in
bombing when some distinctly military object is to be achieved.
[Illustration: THE RIVALS. MR. BRACE. SIR ROBERT HERMAN-HODGE.]
After much consultation with the military authorities the Government has
decided that to issue general warnings on the occasion of an air-raid
would tend to do more harm than good; and the LORD MAYOR (_teste_ Mr.
CATHCART WASON) has announced that he will not ring the great bell of
St. Paul's. The DEAN and Chapter, while regretting that Sir WILLIAM DUNN
should be deprived of a health-giving exercise, had, as a point of fact,
declined to countenance his contemplated invasion of their belfry.
[Illustration: A FIRM CHIN IN ANNIE'S DEFENCE. COMMANDER WEDGWOOD.]
Commander WEDGWOOD, I am sorry to observe, has almost exhausted the
store of commonsense that he brought back with him from the trenches at
Gallipoli. Otherwise he would hardly have championed the cause of Mrs.
ANNIE BESANT, upon whose activities the Government of Madras have
imposed certain salutary restrictions. What India wants, I understand,
is less Besant and more Rice.
Now that young soldiers are to have votes as a reward for fighting there
is logically a strong argument for taking away the franchise from those
who have refused to fight. It was well expressed by Mr. RONALD MCNEILL
and others, but, apart from the objections urged on high religious
grounds by Lord HUGH CECIL, the Government was probably right in
resisting the proposal. Parliament made a mistake in ever giving a
statutory exemption to the conscientious objector. The most that person
could claim was that he should not be called upon to take other people's
lives; he had no right to be excused from risking his own. But having
deliberately provided a loophole it is hardly fair for Parliament to
inflict a penalty upon those who creep through it. And so the House
thought, for it rejected the proposal by a two-to-one majority.
_Wednesday, June 27th_.--There is a general impression that
membership of the House of Commons is in itself a sufficient excuse
for the avoidance of military service. This, it appears, is
erroneous. Only those are exempt whom a Medical Board has declared
unfit for general service; and even these, according to Mr. FORSTER,
may now be re-examined. This ought to prove a great comfort to
certain potential heroes.
_Thursday, June 28th_.--Mr. JOSEPH KING'S chief concern at the moment is
to get Lord HARDINGE removed from the Foreign Office, where he suspects
him of concocting the devastating answers with which Mr. BALFOUR
represses impertinent curiosity. Accordingly he raked up the old story
of Lord HARDINGE'S letter to Sir G. BUCHANAN, and inquired what action
the FOREIGN SECRETARY proposed to take. Mr. BALFOUR proposed to take no
action. The letter was a private communication, which would never have
been heard of but for its capture by a German submarine. Even Mr. KING'S
own correspondence, he suggested, could hardly be so dull that
everything in it would bear publication.
Mr. KING justly resented this imputation. Dull? Why, only this week his
letter-bag brought him news of the great reception accorded in Petrograd
to one TROTSKY, on his release from internment; and would the HOME
SECRETARY be more careful, please, about interning alien friends without
trial? Sir George Cave was sorry, but he had never heard of TROTSKY.
There was a certain KAUTSKY, who had been interned--by the Germans.
Perhaps Mr. King would address himself to them.
The MINISTER OF MUNITIONS had a good audience for his review of the
wonderful work of his department. Who could refuse the chance of
listening to ADDISON on Steel? I cannot honestly say that the result of
this combination was quite so sparkling as it should have been, for the
orator stuck closely to his manuscript and allowed himself few flights
of fancy. But the facts spoke for themselves, and the House readily
endorsed the verdict already given by Vimy Ridge and Messines.
* * * * *
[Illustration]
"DOES GOD MAKE LIONS, MOTHER?"
"YES, DEAR."
"BUT ISN'T HE FRIGHTENED TO?"
* * * * *
"You remember that lachrymose elegiac of Tom Moore, The
Exile's Lament,
'I'm sitting on the stile, Mary,
Where we sat side by side.'"
--_Canadian Courier._
No, frankly, we don't. But we seem to have a dim recollection that Lady
DUFFERIN wrote something very like it.
* * * * *