With the important event of graduation ends the three great ceremonies
of youth. The church and the school have both set their seal upon the
young man and maiden, and the business world and the social world are
waiting to receive them.
In the matter of dress for this important event, the young man is
supposed to confine himself to conventional black with white tie. The
young girl is usually in white, with gloves, shoes, hose and fan to
match.
This, however, depends upon the taste of the class, as they expect to
dress alike, and often select some other delicate shade of color for
the class costume.
Avoid all Extravagance.
There is one thing to be remembered—that is, that too much extravagance
should not be displayed in the selection and adornments of the gown
for the occasion. In the first place, simplicity is the prerogative of
youth. In the second, it is bad taste to overload a young schoolgirl
with expensive materials and lavish ornaments. In the third, there
will always be found in every graduating class one or more students
to whose purse the expenses incident upon the school course have been
a heavy drain, and to whom compliance with the style of dress worn by
other members of the class will mean a serious strain upon the home
exchequer, or the incurring of a debt for the future, while to dress
as their purse affords requires more self-denial than an outsider
realizes. The slights, the sneers of insolent classmates have driven
more than one sensitive soul to solitude and tears, and clouded what
should have been the bright beginning of life with sorrow and anger.
Directors of schools have more than once striven to do away with this
abuse of the occasion by prescribing the dress to be worn, but with
poor success, since sumptuary laws are not kindly received in this free
country.
Now, the remedy lies in the hands of the girls themselves, and with
their parents. Let it be once understood that such a display is the
mark of social _parvénus_, of the newly-rich, and the custom will cease
to exist.
Friends bring flowers to the place of graduation which are sent up,
either by the ushers, who are chosen among intimates of the classmates,
or by tiny boys dressed as pages. These floral offerings have come
to be so extensive that the stage is often banked with the beautiful
blossoms. Here, too, is another abuse. To those who have few friends,
and less money, the absence of these remembrances is often so marked as
to cause many a heartache.
Cards with the donor’s name and the words, “Congratulations,” or
“Graduation Congratulations,” penned in one corner, are tied with
narrow ribbons to these gifts. Presents of a more substantial nature
are also sent up; books, watches, jewels, etc., and have a more lasting
remembrance than the fleeting blossoms. One of the prettiest floral
gifts seen on an occasion of graduation was a graceful ship, white
sailed, and lovely, all of fragrant flowers, and full freighted with
the hopes and prayers for the young legal graduate, who was sole son of
the house.
Carriages convey the graduates to and from the hall, and a class
reception is supposed to finish the long round of the gaieties of
“Class Week.”
[Illustration: Decoration]
Etiquette of Funerals and Mourning.
The great sorrow brought upon a family by the death of a loved one
renders the immediate members of the family incapable of attending to
the necessary arrangements for the funeral. The services of an intimate
friend, or a relative, should, therefore, be sought. He should receive
general instructions from the family, after which he should take entire
charge of the arrangements, and relieve them from all care on the
subject. If such a person cannot be had, the arrangements may be placed
in the hands of the sexton of the church the deceased attended in life,
or of some responsible undertaker.
The expenses of the funeral should be in accordance with the means of
the family. No false pride should permit the relatives to incur undue
expense in order to make a showy funeral. At the same time, affection
will dictate that all the marks of respect which you can provide should
be paid to the memory of your beloved dead.
Funeral Invitations.
In some parts of the country it is customary to send notes of
invitation to the funeral to the friends of the deceased and of the
family. These invitations should be printed, neatly and simply, on
mourning paper, with envelopes to match, and should be delivered by a
private messenger. The following is a correct form, the names and dates
to be changed to suit the occasion:
“Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the funeral
of DAVID B. JONES, on Tuesday, March 18, 189-, at 11 o’clock A. M.,
from his late residence, 1926 Amber Street, to proceed to Laurel Hill
Cemetery.”
Where the funeral is from a church, the invitation should read:
“Yourself and family are respectfully invited to attend the funeral of
DAVID B. JONES, from the Church of the Holy Trinity, on Tuesday, March
18, 189-, at 11 o’clock A. M., to proceed to Laurel Hill Cemetery.”
Where such invitations are sent, a list of persons so invited must
be given to the person in charge of the funeral, in order that he
may provide a sufficient number of carriages. No one to whom an
invitation has not been sent should attend such a funeral, nor should
those invited permit anything but an important duty to prevent their
attendance.
When the funeral is at the house, some near relative or intimate friend
should act as usher, and show the company to their seats.
Showing Respect for the Dead.
Preserve a decorous silence in the chamber of death—speak as little as
possible, and then only in low, subdued tones.
The members of the family are not obliged to recognize their
acquaintances. The latter show their sympathy by their presence and
considerate silence.
As the coffin is borne from the house to the hearse, gentlemen who may
be standing at the door or in the street remove their hats, and remain
uncovered until it is placed in the hearse.
The pall-bearers should be chosen from among the intimate friends of
the deceased, and should correspond to him in age and general character.
With regard to sending flowers, the wishes of the family should be
considered. If you are uncertain upon this point, it is safe to send
them. They should be simple and tasteful.
Letters of condolence are sent to those in bereavement by their
intimate friends. We append a few forms that will be helpful to all
persons who wish to express their sympathy with the bereaved.
To a Lady on the Death of her Husband.
CLEVELAND, O., June 6, 189—.