In France almost any social gathering that occurs in the evening is
called a _soirée_. Here in this country the term _soirée_ is applied
to an evening entertainment that partakes of the nature of an evening
party, but is not quite so elaborate and means earlier hours both of
arrival and departure.
_Soirées_, as a rule, offer some particular form of amusement, such
as music, dancing, a reading; an interchange of bright ideas, such as
a _conversazione_. It means also pretty evening dress, not elaborate,
ball costume, and a supper. It attracts gentlemen, who appreciate
the easy-going, early-houred _soirée_. That is, gentlemen who do not
particularly care for the ball-room, and it is here we are sure to find
wits and the aristocracy of intellect. In short, the very best elements
of society are found in the elegant unpretentious _soirée_, where the
intelligent woman of fashion has the tact to welcome and make at home
the artist, the author, the professional man, and the man of business.
The _soirée_ has still another advantage: a lady can give one in a
small house and with very little expenditure, and if she has the gift
of entertaining, her gathering will always be sought after.
Suitable Dress.
Women, as before mentioned, wear pretty evening dress (not ball
costume), and remove their bonnets, and in this way differing
from _matinées_ and from morning receptions, at both of which
entertainments bonnets are worn. Men wear morning dress. (See
Department of Dress.)
Receiving Guests.
For small evening parties, the host and hostess during the early part
of the evening remain near the door to receive guests. Later they must
mingle with the company to assist in entertaining. A late arrival,
however, should be noted, though it is their place to search out their
hostess and offer the greetings of the evening.
As guests enter the room the hostess should advance a step to
meet them. Her words of greeting should be first addressed to the
elder ladies of an incoming group, then the young ladies, lastly
the gentlemen. The hostess should be perfectly at her ease, having
apparently no thought beyond the reception rooms.
The Entertainment.
Where the entertainment is mixed, a little music is appropriate, a
little dancing and a little card-playing. It is well to engage some one
to play for the dancing, since guests usually do not care to preside at
the instrument. A violin is a great addition.
If, however, the dancing is an afterthought, any gentleman who is
a good pianist may offer his services to relieve any lady at the
instrument.
The hostess should see that conversation does not lag. She must not
interrupt an entertaining _tête-à-tête_, unless it last too long; but,
if conversation languish between a couple thrown together, she should
bring in a third person, or draw away one, while substituting another.
Invitations.
If invitations are issued a week or ten days in advance, the hostess
has a right to expect that her guests should arrive on time, and
carefully attired.
The form of the invitation is similar to an “At Home,” as: MRS. EMMONS
VAN ZANT, At Home, Thursday, June sixteenth, at eight o’clock. 2040
Westmoreland Street.
Duty of Guests.
The hostess may ask her guests to sing or play; but, if they refuse,
it is bad taste to urge them. The hostess, if she plays or sings,
may favor the guests with a single selection after others have been
heard. It is well for amateurs to master a few pieces that they can
render without the notes. This relieves one of that time-worn excuse—“I
haven’t my notes.” This is also the case with those who sing. By
ceasing to urge performers, the company will be freed from much of that
repeated, coy refusal that only needs sufficient coaxing to comply.
When a lady is asked to play or sing, the gentleman nearest her should
at once escort her to the piano, remaining near her while she plays,
and turning the music, if he be competent. He will also take charge of
her fan, bouquet and gloves, and when the music is finished, he will
again offer his arm for her return to her seat. At the same time he
will thank her for the pleasure she has given himself and the company.
Other guests, together with the hostess, should also express their
gratification. Never comment on the quality of the instrument. Never
offer to turn the sheets of instrumental music unless familiar with the
notes.
When any one is playing or singing, let the company preserve silence,
and if they should converse, let it be in the lowest tones. To
interrupt a performer is the worst possible taste. Instrumental
performers have as much right to expect the courtesy of silence as
vocalists. The hostess has the privilege of indicating, to a noisy
group, by a gesture, her desire for silence. Those who will talk should
at least withdraw from the immediate vicinity of the instrument.
If asked to play an accompaniment, do so, not to display your own
accomplishments, but so as to afford the best possible support for the
singer.