The extent of these estates precluding the possibility of near
neighbors, their isolation would have been intolerable but for the
custom of visiting which prevailed among us. Many houses were filled
with visitors the greater part of the year, and these usually remained
two or three weeks. Visiting tours were made in our private carriages,
each family making at least one such tour a year. Nor was it necessary
to announce these visits by message or letter, each house being
considered always ready, and "entertaining company" being the
occupation of the people. Sometimes two or three carriages might be
descried in the evening coming up to the door through the Lombardy
poplar avenue,--the usual approach to many old houses; whereupon
ensued a lively flutter among small servants, who, becoming generally
excited, speedily got them into their clean aprons, and ran to open
gates and to remove parcels from carriages. Lady visitors were always
accompanied by colored maids, although sure of finding a superfluity
of these at each establishment. The mistress of the house always
received her guests in the front porch, with a sincere and cordial
greeting.
These visiting friends at my own home made an impression upon me that
no time can efface. I almost see them now, those dear, gentle faces,
my mother's early friends, and those delightful old ladies, in close
bordered tarlatan caps, who used to come to see my grandmother. These
last would sit round the fire, knitting and talking over their early
memories: how they remembered the red coats of the British; how they
had seen the Richmond theater burn down, with some of their family
burned in it; how they used to wear such beautiful turbans of _crêpe
lisse_ to the Cartersville balls, and how they used to dance the
minuet. At mention of this my grandmother would lay off her
spectacles, put aside her knitting, rise with dignity,--she was very
tall,--and show us the step of the minuet, gliding slowly and
majestically around the room. Then she would say: "Ah, children, you
will never see anything as graceful as the minuet. Such jumping
around as _you_ see would not have been regarded as dignified in _my_
day!"
[Illustration: "MY GRANDMOTHER WOULD SHOW US THE STEP OF THE
MINUET."--_Page 32._]
My mother's friends belonged to a later generation, and were types of
women whom to have known I shall ever regard as a blessing and
privilege. They combined intelligence with exquisite refinement; and
their annual visits gave my mother the greatest happiness, which we
soon learned to share and appreciate.
As I look upon these ladies as models for our sex through all time, I
enumerate some of their charms:
Entire absence of pretense made them always attractive. Having no
"parlor" or "company" manners to assume, they preserved at all times a
gentle, natural, easy demeanor and conversation. They had not dipped
into the sciences, attempted by some of our sex at the present day;
but the study of Latin and French, with general reading in their
mother tongue, rendered them intelligent companions for cultivated
men. They also possessed the rare gift of reading well aloud, and
wrote letters unsurpassed in penmanship and style.
Italian and German professors being rare in that day, their musical
acquirements did not extend beyond the simplest piano accompaniments
to old English and Scotch airs, which they sang in a sweet, natural
voice, and which so enchanted the beaux of their time that the latter
never afterward became reconciled to any higher order of music.
These model women also managed their household affairs admirably, and
were uniformly kind to, but never familiar with, their servants. They
kept ever before them the Bible as their constant guide and rule in
life, and were surely, as nearly as possible, holy in thought, word,
and deed. I have looked in vain for such women in other lands, but
have failed to find them.
Then there were old gentlemen visitors, beaux of my grandmother's day,
still wearing queues, wide-ruffled bosoms, short breeches, and knee
buckles. These pronounced the _a_ very broad, sat a long time over
their wine at dinner, and carried in their pockets gold or silver
snuffboxes presented by some distinguished individual at some remote
period.
[Illustration: "THERE WERE OLD GENTLEMEN VISITORS."--_Page 34._]
Our visiting acquaintance extended from Botetourt County to Richmond,
and among them were jolly old Virginia gentlemen and precise old
Virginia gentlemen; eccentric old Virginia gentlemen and prosy old
Virginia gentlemen; courtly old Virginia gentlemen and plain-mannered
old Virginia gentlemen; charming old Virginia gentlemen and
uninteresting old Virginia gentlemen. Many of them had graduated years
and years ago at William and Mary College.
Then we had another set, of a later day,--those who graduated in the
first graduating class at the University of Virginia when that
institution was first established. These happened--all that we
knew--to have belonged to the same class, and often amused us, without
intending it, by reverting to that fact in these words:
"_That_ was a remarkable class! Every man in that class made his mark
in law, letters, or politics! Let me see: There was Toombs. There was
Charles Mosby. There was Alexander Stuart. There was Burwell. There
was R. M. T. Hunter,"--and so on, calling each by name except himself,
knowing that the others never failed to do that!
Edgar Poe and Alexander Stephens of Georgia were also at the
university with these gentlemen.
Although presenting an infinite variety of mind, manner, and
temperament, all the gentlemen who visited us, young and old,
possessed in common certain characteristics, one of which was a
deference to ladies which made us feel that we had been put in the
world especially to be waited upon by them. Their standard for woman
was high. They seemed to regard her as some rare and costly statue set
in a niche to be admired and never taken down.
Another peculiarity they had in common was a habit--which seemed
irresistible--of tracing people back to the remotest generation, and
appearing inconsolable if ever they failed to find out the pedigree of
any given individual for at least four generations. This, however, was
an innocent pastime, from which they seemed to derive much pleasure
and satisfaction, and which should not be regarded, even in this
advanced age, as a serious fault.
Among our various visitors was a kinsman--of whom I often heard, but
whom I do not recollect--a bachelor of eighty years, always
accompanied by his negro servant as old as himself. Both had the same
name, Louis, pronounced like the French, and this aged pair had been
so long together they could not exist apart. Black Louis rarely left
his master's side, assisting in the conversation if his master became
perplexed or forgetful. When his master talked in the parlor, black
Louis always planted his chair in the middle of the doorsill, every
now and then correcting or reminding with: "Now, marster, dat warn't
Colonel Taylor's horse dat won dat race dat day. You and me was dar."
Or: "Now, marster, you done forgot all 'bout dat. Dat was in de year
1779, an' _dis_ is de way it happened," etc., much to the amusement of
the company assembled. All this was said, I am told, most
respectfully, although the old negro in a manner _possessed_ his
master, having entire charge and command of him.
[Illustration: "NOW, MARSTER, YOU DONE FORGOT ALL 'BOUT DAT."--_Page
37._]
The negroes often felt great pride in "_our_ white people," as they
called their owners, and loved to brag about what "_our_ white people"
did and what "_our_ white people" had.
On one occasion it became necessary for my sister and myself to ride a
short distance in a public conveyance. A small colored boy, who helped
in our dining room, had to get in the same stage. Two old gentlemen,
strangers to us, sitting opposite, supposing we had fallen asleep when
we closed our eyes to keep out the dust, commenced talking about us.
Said one to the other: "Now, those children will spoil their Sunday
bonnets." Whereupon our colored boy spoke up quickly: "Umph! _you_
think _dems my_ mistesses' Sunday bonnets? Umph! you _jes' ought_ to
see what dey got up dar on top de stage in dar bandbox!" At this we
both laughed, for the boy had never seen our "Sunday bonnets," nor did
he know that we possessed any.