How different from ancient days and nights, when he sat below Gangway in
corner seat, that is, when he could get it. Couldn't always; sometimes
presumptuous person forestalled him. Even when there, with notes of
treasured speech in swelling breast pocket, by no means certain he would
find opportunity of convincing House. Others step in, and edge him on
into ignominious dinner hour. Now a Minister of the Crown, with a new
Department created for his control; to-night in charge of Government
business. OLD MORALITY off early, full of restful confidence.
"CHAPLIN'S looking after things", he said, as he made himself
comfortable in his room. "Needn't bother; all will go right. Great thing
for a First Minister to have a man he can thoroughly depend on."
"At least, TOBY", CHAPLIN said, "those were his remarks as reported to
me. I will not deny that they are gratifying."
At the proper time--at his own time--the Minister for Agriculture rose,
and, positively pervading the premises, utterly demolished BOB REID, his
supporters, his arguments, and his resolution.
"CHAPLIN", said JOHN MORLEY, watching him with admiring glance, "always
reminds me of VICTOR HUGO'S description of the _Rev. Ebenezer Caudray_.
You remember him in _Les Travailleurs de la Mer_? Haven't the book with
me, but translation runs something like this:--'He had the gracefulness
of a page, mingled with the dignity of a Bishop.' Never knew that VICTOR
HUGO was personally acquainted with CHAPLIN; but he certainly here hits
off his characteristics in a phrase."
_Business done._--Miscellaneous, and not much.
_Thursday._--"Where do you put the Cow?"
"Was ever man interrupted with such a question in such circumstances?"
asked JESSE COLLINGS, unconsciously quoting _Tristram Shandy's_ father.
Circumstances sufficiently strange to make a man quote STERNE, even if
he'd never read his masterpiece. House in Committee on Budget Bill.
STOREY moved Amendment on Clause 26, dealing with exemption from
Inhabited House Duty of tenement buildings. CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER
taken part in the Debate. CHARLES RUSSELL said a few words. House in
most serious, not to say depressed mood. Subject particularly inviting
for JESSE; always advocated welfare of Working Classes; now seized
opportunity to descant on theme. Detailed with growing warmth
arrangements desirable for perfecting sanitation of houses for Working
Classes; when TANNER, crossing arms and legs, and cocking head on one
side, with provoking appearance of keen interest, suddenly submitted
this problem:--
"Where do you put the Cow?"
Opposition laughed. Ministerialists cried, "Order!" Various courses open
to JESSE. Might have assumed air of interested inquiry. Cow? What Cow?
Why drag in the Cow? Might have slain TANNER with a stony stare, and
left him to drag his untimely quadruped off the ground. But JESSE took
the Cow seriously. Allowed it to get its horns entangled amid thread of
his argument. Glared angrily upon the pachydermatous TANNER, and having
thus played into his hands, loftily declared, "I do not propose to take
any notice of the insult."
"It makes me smile", said SWIFT MACNEILL, walking out for fear GOSCHEN
should hear his smile and clap a penny on his Income-Tax.
A long night for JOKIM, wrestling for his Budget. Ominous gathering on
Front Bench. Mr. G., not seen lately, comes down. To him foregathers
HARCOURT. Assaults on Budget begun from below the Gangway. Proposed to
postpone clauses on which Local Budget Bill will be built up. JOKIM
shakes his head. Mr. G. amazed at his refusal to listen to reasonable
suggestion. HARCOURT rises, meaning to run atilt at JOKIM. Chairman of
Committees puts out his foot, nearly trips him up. HARCOURT turns and
bends on COURTNEY expressive glance. Never much love lost between these
two. Now COURTNEY in official position can snub HARCOURT--and does.
Shall HARCOURT go for him? Shall he take him up in his powerful arms and
tear him to pieces with delighted teeth? A moment's pause, whilst
HARCOURT, towering at table, toying nervously with eyeglass, looks down
on Chairman who has just ruled him out of order. Shall he? Struggles
with his suddenly awakened wrath, gulps it down, turns aside to talk of
something else.
[Illustration: "It makes me smile."]
Not to-night, but some night there will be wigs (especially COURTNEY'S)
on the green.
_Business done._--Budget in Committee.
_Friday._--Met MARKISS walking with weary footsteps from Lords.
Curiously depressed air. "Anything happened at East Bristol?" I asked.
"But you cannot have heard yet."
"No; nothing to do with bye-elections", said the MARKISS, with sob in
his throat. "It's WEMYSS; touched me to the quick; was to have made
speech to-night on Socialistic legislation of last two years. Hadn't
slightest idea what he meant. Came down to-night a little late; found
House up. WEMYSS wouldn't deliver his speech in my absence; thing didn't
come off; so Lords went home. That's what I call personal devotion.
Supposed to be hard cynical man, but you see I have my soft places, and
WEMYSS has touched me."
Not a dry eye between us as the MARKISS moved off.
_Business done._--Pleuro-pneumonia in House of Lords.
* * * * *