He returned the look, as if doubting what he should say or do. Then he
drew a deep breath to steady himself.
"Perhaps you have. But I know very well that it is not the man you
think, at this moment. You are in the hunting stage, and you didn't know
it. Now that you do know--unless I am greatly mistaken--I think you will
try very hard not to hurt people, not to let them have wild dreams of
something doing in the future."
"But if I really think--"
"Then be secret until you _know_."
"And if everything that is me seems to be going out to a certain man--"
"Then be secret until it has really gone out to him."
"I don't know why I let you talk to me like this."
"There you go again," he said, and she bit her lips. "It is very awful
for me," he said, "to think that I have raised my voice in any criticism
or disparagement of you."
"Oh, it's all true, and it's all deserved."
"But you are like that. And all at the same time it's your greatest
strength and your greatest weakness, and for the right man, when he
comes along, it will be his greatest treasure.... I don't like to say
good-by. It comes hard."
"If I said, 'Don't say good-by,' would I be breaking the rules?"
"Yes," he said, "for I could never be the right man."
[Illustration: When Bubbles had trotted off, she dropped into her chair
and cried.]
"Not even if--"
"Not even if--and you will have forgotten any kindness that you felt for
me, while I am still wondering why the city is so empty, that once
seemed so full."
The tears sprang into Barbara's eyes. "Is there anything about me that
you don't know?" she asked bitterly.
"Oh, yes," he said.
"Do you know that if you asked me to marry you, I should say yes?"
"And I know that I am not going to ask you. There are two reasons. You
don't love me. And I do love you."
Her arms dropped limply to her sides.
"And it shall never be said of me," he said proudly, "that I dragged any
one down.... Will you promise me something?"
"If you care to trust me to keep promises or to do anything that's right
and honest."
"Only promise to keep your eyes in the boat. Don't help a poor dog of a
man into love with you. And don't help yourself into love with him. When
the right man comes along, he will _make_ you love him, and then you
will be sure."
"I will promise," said Barbara simply, "and I never knew how rotten I
was. And I'm glad you've told me. If it's any comfort to you--you've
helped. And nobody ever helped before. I shall always be proud to
remember that you loved me. And I'll keep my eyes in the boat."
"And that," said Mr. West, "is where I'll keep mine, only, if it's
nothing to you, I'll remember sometimes how the moon looked that time I
looked up."
She stood uncertain.
"It's kind of awkward," he said, "sometimes to make a clean break. Good
luck to you. And don't feel sorry about me. And be true to yourself. And
if you ever really need me for anything tell Bubbles. He knows where to
find me, when anybody does."
A few minutes later Barbara was asking Bubbles if he happened to know
Mr. Harry West's address.
"He won't be coming back here," she said, "and I want to send him a
book."
"I'll deliver it," said Bubbles. "He don't keep no regular address. You
have to catch him on the run."
"Very well," she said, "take him this, with my very best thanks and my
very best wishes."
And she gave Bubbles a charmingly bound copy of Rostand's "Far-Away
Princess," and when Bubbles had trotted off, she dropped into her chair
and cried because she thought she had broken poor West's heart. But
there was stern stuff in his heart, and exultation, for he knew that in
the supreme test of his life, he had thought only of--her.