OUR ERMINIE.
"A lovely being scarcely formed or molded--
A rose with all its sweetest leaves yet folded."
--BYRON.
"Well, I never!" exclaimed Pet.
"Why, it's Ranty!" said the surprised Erminie.
"Yes," said Ranty, giving his hat so well-aimed a kick that it struck
the cat, and hurled that unfortunate quadruped over on her back, "and
this is a nice way to treat a 'lone woman,' as Miss Priscilla
says--ain't it? Going and tearing the clothes off her back, without any
regard for decency, or the slightest veneration for gray hairs. By the
way, I must take care of that wig. It belongs to Uncle Harry, and I
stole it last night when he was in bed. What do you think of my
'get-up,' Ray? I laid on the brown and black unsparingly."
"Well, your complexion would be improved by having your face washed,"
replied Ray. "However, it's very creditable, and shows how usefully you
can employ your time when you like. Where, in the name of all the
witches that were ever ducked, did you get all this trumpery?"
"Trumpery! Just listen to that, now," said Ranty, appealing to society
in general. "Calling this hat, and cloak, and the rest of my drapery,
trumpery. Well, most irreverent youth, I got it up in the garret among a
lot of lumber and stuff, and I coaxed one of the housemaids to dress
me. I flatter myself I made a showy appearance when I entered--eh? Poor
Orlando Toosypegs! Unhook this confounded frock, Pet."
"Well, now, to think I never knew you," said Pet, as she obeyed. "I
thought it might be a trick, but I never suspected such a stupid thing
as you could have done it."
"That's the way! Merit never is appreciated in this world," said Ranty,
as he stepped out of his rather dilapidated garment. "I expect nobody
will find out what a genius I am until it is too late. Darn the thing! I
can't get it off at all."
"Patience, Ranty! patience, and smoke your pipe," said Ray, as he
assisted him off with his dress, and Ranty stepped out in his proper
costume, and stood there, tall, human, handsome, and as different from
the old witch of a few moments before as it was possible to be.
"Oh, Ranty! what a trick!" said Erminie, laughing. "It was a shame to
frighten poor Mr. Toosypegs, though."
"He won't get much sympathy from Miss Priscilla, I guess," said Ranty.
"I do think he believed every word of it."
"To be sure he did," said Ray; "and such an expression of utter
wretchedness as his face wore when he went out, I never want to see
again. It will be as good as a play to see him when he goes home, and
tells Miss Priscilla."
"I'm going there to spend the day," said Pet. "Miss Priscilla can't bear
me, so I go there as often as I can. I'll be able to tell you all about
it when I come back."
"You had better not," said Ray. "There are two or three runaway niggers
in the woods, and it's dangerous for you to go alone."
"Now, you might have known that would just make that
intensely-disagreeable girl go," said Ranty, rocking himself backward
and forward in Erminie's chair. "Tell her there's danger anywhere, and
there she'll be sure to fly. The other day, some one told her the typhus
fever was down at the quarters, and nothing would serve her but she must
instantly make her appearance there, to see what it was like. Luckily,
it turned out to be something else; but if it had been the fever, Nilla
would have been a case by this time--and serve her right, too. It's very
distressing to a quiet, peaceable individual like myself," said Master
Ranty, pensively, leaning his head on his hand with a deep sigh. "But
there's no use in me exhorting her, she don't mind in the least. I've
talked to her like a father; I've preached to her on the evil of her
ways till all was blue, I've lectured her time and again, like a
pocket-edition of Chrysostom, and look at the result! I don't expect to
live out half my days 'long of that 'ere little limb, as our Dell says."
And Master Ranty sighed deeply over the degeneracy of the human race in
general, and Nilla in particular.
"Spoken like an oracle," cried Ray; "but though Nilla won't take your
advice, as a general thing, I hope she'll take mine."
"No, I won't!" was Miss Petronilla's short, sharp and decisive reply. "I
won't take you nor your advice, neither! I'm just going to Dismal
Hollow, and I'd like to see who'll stop me!"
"Why, the half-starved niggers will," said Ranty; "and, what's more,
they'll swallow you, body and bones, and without salt, too, which will
be adding insult to injury. They'll find you sharp and arid enough,
though, if that's any consolation."
"Indeed, Pet, I wouldn't go if I were you," said Erminie, anxiously.
"Well, you ain't me; so you needn't," said Pet. "But I'm going; and you
may all talk till you are black in the face, and then I won't stop."
And the wilful elf put on her hat, and took her whip and gloves, and
looked defiantly at the assembled trio.
"Very well; when you've departed this life and gone to the place all
disagreeable little girls go to, don't say I didn't warn you of your
danger," said Ranty. "We'll put up a monument to your memory, with the
inscription:
'Sacred to the Memory
Of that sunburned, self-willed female Nimrod,
PETRONILLA LAWLESS,
Who ought to lie here, but she doesn't.
For, having lied all the time she afflicted this earth,
Now that she has departed to a worser land,
She lies in the stomach of a great big nigger,
Who swallowed her at a mouthful one night.
Of such is the Kingdom of Maryland.'"
"You had better let me go with you," said Ray.
"No; you sha'n't," said Pet, whose wilful nature was now thoroughly
aroused by opposition, and who fancied, if she accepted this offer, they
might think it was cowardice; "I'll go myself. You ride with me, indeed!
Why, I'd leave you out of sight in ten minutes."
Ray's dark cheek flushed, and he turned angrily away.
"Well, be sure to come home before dark--won't you, Pet?" said Erminie,
following the capricious fairy to the door.
"No, I sha'n't leave Dismal Hollow till nine o'clock," said Pet, looking
back defiantly at the boys. "I'm just going to show them that if two
great boys, like they are, are afraid, little Pet Lawless ain't. I'll
ride through the woods after dark, in spite of all the runaway niggers
this side of Baltimore."
"All right," said Ranty, "I'd rather they'd eat you, though, than me;
for you're like the Starved Apothecary--all skin and bones. They'll have
hard crunching of it, I'll be bound! Luckily, though, darkeys have good
teeth!"
"Oh, Pet! what will you do, if the niggers should see you?" said
Erminie, clasping her hands.
Pet touched her pistols significantly.
"Two years ago, Ranty taught me to shoot, you little pinch of
cotton-wool! and I haven't forgotten the way for want of practice since,
I can tell you. I can see by the light of a nigger's eye, in the dark,
how to take aim as well as any one."
"You shoot!" said Ranty, contemptuously. "You're nothing but a little
boaster and a coward at that; all boasters are. You'd fall into fits at
the first glimpse of a woolly head."
"I wouldn't! and I ain't a coward!" cried Pet, stamping her foot
passionately, while her fierce black eyes seemed fairly to scintillate
sparks of fire. "I hate you, Ranty Lawless, and I'll just do as I like,
in spite of you all!" And flushed with passion, Pet fled out, sprung on
her fleet Arabian, as wild and fiery as herself, and striking him
fiercely with her whip, he bounded away as if mad. Two minutes after and
the black, fiery horse and little, dark, fiery rider were both out of
sight.
And looking deeply troubled and anxious, gentle little Erminie returned
to the house.
"Whew! what a little tempest! what a tornado! what a bombshell she is!
Now, who in the world but her would fire up in that way for a trifle?
This getting up steam for nothing is all a humbug! Girls always _are_ a
humbug, though, anyway," said the polite and gallant Mr. Lawless.
"Luckily there's one sensible individual in the family."
"Yourself, I suppose," said Erminie, as she proceeded to set the room to
rights, like the neat little housewife that she was.
"Yes," said Ranty; "all the good sense and good looks, too, of the
family have fallen to my share, except what uncle Harry Havenful has
got."
"You seem to have a great idea of your own beauty," said Ray, turning
from the window, where he had stood to hide his mortification, ever
since his rebuff from Pet.
"To be sure I have," said Master Ranty, stretching out his legs, and
glancing complacently in the mirror. "Nobody can see my perfections but
myself; so I lose no chance of impressing them on the minds of the
community in general. But I say, Ray, come out, down to the trout
streams. I've got a plan in my head that promises good fun, which I'll
tell you while we're catching something for Minnie's dinner-table."
"All right," said Ray, as he turned and went out with him, little
dreaming how dearly he was destined to pay for Ranty's "fun."
"Now, I know they're going to torment somebody, and it's such a shame,"
said Erminie to herself, as she took the pocket-handkerchief she was
hemming, and sat down by the window. "I guess it's the admiral; Ranty's
always plaguing him when he's at home, and it's too bad; 'cause the
admiral's the nicest old man ever was. My! I hope the niggers won't
catch Pet," she added, half-aloud, as her thoughts strayed to that
self-willed young lady.
A shadow fell suddenly across the sunshine streaming through the open
door; and looking up, Erminie saw, to her great surprise, the tall, lank
figure, and pallid freckles of Mr. O. C. Toosypegs.
"Why, Mr. Toosypegs, I thought you had gone," she said, in wonder.
"No, Miss Minnie, I ain't gone, I'm very much obliged to you," said Mr.
Toosypegs, mournfully, seating himself. "I didn't like to go home; for
when Miss Prisciller ain't well, she ain't always as pleasant as she
might be, you know. She means real well, I'm sure; but then it's
distressing sometimes to be _always_ scolded. I ain't got long to live,
either, you know," said Mr. Toosypegs, with increasing mournfulness;
"and there is no use in me suffering more than is necessary--is there,
Miss Minnie? I always thought I was to have troubles, but I never knew
before they were to be so dreadful. I intend going to Judestown right
after dinner, and having my will made out in case anything might--well,
might happen, you know. I'm going to leave half to Aunt Prisciller, and
t'other half to your grandmother. She's been real good to me, and I'm
very much obliged to her, I'm sure," said Mr. Toosypegs, with emotion.
"Why, Mr. Toosypegs, you ain't weeping about what that old woman told
you--are you?" said Minnie, looking up with her soft, tender, pitying
eyes, as Mr. Toosypegs wiped his eyes and blew his nose, with a look of
deepest affliction. "Why, it was only Ranty dressed up."
"Ranty!" said Mr. Toosypegs, springing to his feet.
"Yes: Ranty Lawless, you know, dressed up in old clothes. He is always
doing things like that, to make people laugh. It wasn't any old woman at
all--only him."
Mr. Toosypegs took off his hat, which, all this time, had been on his
head; looking helplessly into it, and, finding no solution of the
mystery there, clapped it on again, sat down, and placing both hands on
his knees, faced round, and looked Erminie straight in the face.
"Miss Minnie, if it isn't too much trouble, would you say that over
again?" inquired Mr. Toosypegs, blandly.
"Why, it isn't anything to say, Mr. Toosypegs," said Minnie, laughing
merrily; "only Ranty, you know, wanted to make us think him an old
witch, and dressed himself up that way, and made believe to tell your
fortune. You needn't be scared about it, at all."
"Well, I'm sure!" ejaculated Mr. Toosypegs. "You _really_ can't think
what a relief it is to my feelings to hear that. Somehow, my feelings
are always relieved when I'm with you, Miss Minnie. Young Mr. Lawless
means real well, I'm sure, but then it kind of frightens a fellow a
little. I felt, Miss Minnie," said Mr. Toosypegs, placing his hand on
his left vest-pocket, "a sort of feeling that kept going in and out
here, like--like--anything. I felt as if I was headed up in a hogshead,
all full of spikes, with the points inward, and then being rolled
downhill. You've often felt that way, I dare say, Miss Minnie?"
Minnie, a little alarmed at this terrible description, said she didn't
know.
"Well, I feel better now. I'm very much obliged to you," said Mr.
Toosypegs, drawing a deep breath of intense relief; "and I guess I won't
mind my will this afternoon; though I sha'n't forget Mrs. Ketura when
I'm going, if she should happen to survive me. How does she feel to-day,
Miss Minnie? Excuse me for not asking before; but, really, I've been in
such a state of mind all the morning, that I actually couldn't tell
which end I was standing on, if I may be allowed so strong a figure of
speech."
"Grandmother's as well as she always is," replied Minnie. "She is able
to sit up, but she can't walk, or come downstairs. She won't let me sit
with her either, and always says she wants to be alone."
"I expect her son preys on her mind a good deal," said Mr. Toosypegs,
reflectively.
"He was drowned," said Erminie, in a low tone.
"Yes, I know; she was real vexed with Lord De Courcy about it, too. I
dare say you have heard her talk of him."
"Yes," said Erminie, with a slight shudder; "I have heard her tell Ray
how he must hate him and all his family, and do them all the harm he
could. I don't like to hear such things. They don't seem right. I heard
Father Murray saying, last Sunday, in church, we must forgive our
enemies, or we won't be forgiven ourselves. I always used to come away,
at first, when grandmother would begin to talk about hating them and
being revenged; but her eyes used to blaze up like, and she would seem
so angry about it, that afterward I stayed. I don't like to hear it
though, and I always try not to listen, but to think of something else
all the time."
"I suppose young Germaine don't mind," observed Mr. Toosypegs.
"No. Ray gets fierce, and looks so dark and dreadful that I feel afraid
of him then," said Erminie, sadly. "He always says, when he is a man he
will go to England and do dreadful things to them all, because they
killed his father. I don't think they killed him; do you, Mr. Toosypegs?
They couldn't help his being drowned, I think."
"Well, you know, Miss Minnie," said Mr. Toosypegs, with the air of a man
entering upon an abstruse subject, "if they hadn't made him go on board
that ship, and he hadn't took anything else, and died, he would have
been living yet. He didn't care about going, but they insisted, so he
went, and the ship struck a--no, it wasn't a mermaid--the ship struck a
coral reef--yes, that was it. The ship struck that and all hands were
lost. Now, where the fault was, I can't say, but it was somewhere, Miss
Minnie! That's a clear case."
And Mr. Toosypegs leaned back in his chair with the complacent smile of
a man who has explained the whole matter, to the satisfaction of the
very dullest intellect.
Little Minnie looked puzzled and wistful for a moment, as if,
notwithstanding all he had said, the affair was not much clearer; but
she said nothing.
"You're his daughter--ain't you, Miss Minnie?" said Mr. Toosypegs,
briskly, after a short pause.
"Whose, Mr. Toosypegs?" asked Minnie.
"Why, him, you know: him that was drowned."
"No, I guess not," said Erminie, thoughtfully; "Ray called me his little
sister, one day, before grandmother, and she told him to hush, that I
wasn't his sister. I guess I'm his cousin, or something; but I don't
think I'm his sister."
"Your father and mother are dead, I reckon," said Mr. Toosypegs.
"Yes, I suppose so; but I dare say you'll laugh, Mr. Toosypegs, but it
never seems so. I dream sometimes of the strangest things." And
Erminie's soft violet eyes grew misty and dreamy as she spoke, as though
gazing on something afar off.
"Good gracious! what do you dream, Miss Minnie? I'm sure I haven't the
least notion of laughing at all. I feel as serious as anything," said
Mr. Toosypegs, in all sincerity.
But Erminie, child as she was, shrunk from telling any one of the sweet,
beautiful face of the lady who came to her so often in her dreams; and
so, blushing slightly, she bent over her work in silence.
"Doesn't young Germaine know who your father and mother were?" asked Mr.
Toosypegs, after a while, seeing Erminie was not going to tell him about
her dreams.
"No, Ray doesn't know, either. Grandmother won't tell, but he thinks I'm
his cousin; I guess I am, too," said Erminie, adopting the belief with
the careless confidence of childhood.
"Well, you were born in England, anyway," said Mr. Toosypegs, "for you
were only a little baby, the size of that, when you left it," holding
his hand about an inch and a half above the floor. "Most likely you're a
gipsy, though--_she's_ a gipsy, you know," added Mr. Toosypegs, in a
mysterious whisper, pointing to the ceiling.
"Yes, I know," said Erminie, with an intelligent nod; "I heard her tell
Ray so; she used to tell him a good many things, but she never tells me
anything. I guess she thinks I don't love her, but I do. Did you ever
see that Lord De Courcy?"
"No; but I saw his son, Lord Villiers, and his wife, Lady Maude. My
gracious!" exclaimed Mr. Toosypegs, with an unexpected outburst of
enthusiasm, "she was the handsomest woman in the world! I can't begin to
tell you how good-looking she was! If all the handsome women ever you
saw were melted into one, they wouldn't be near so good-looking as Lady
Maude!"
"How I should like to see her!" said little Erminie, laying down her
work with a wistful sigh. "Tell me about her, Mr. Toosypegs."
"Well, she had long black curls, not like Miss Pet's, you know, but long
and soft; and the most splendid black eyes--go right straight through a
fellow, easy! She was pale and sweet; I always used to think of white
cream-candy whenever I saw her, Miss Minnie; and then her smile, it was
just like an angel's--not that I ever saw an angel, Miss Minnie," said
Mr. Toosypegs, qualifying his admission, reluctantly, "but they must
have looked like her."
Erminie had listened to this description with clasped hands, flushed
cheeks, parted lips and dilating eyes. As Mr. Toosypegs paused, she
impetuously exclaimed:
"Oh, Mr. Toosypegs, I've seen her! I've seen her often!"
"Good gracious!" said the astonished Mr. Toosypegs, "I can't see where;
I guess you only think so, Miss Minnie."
"Oh, no, I don't; indeed I don't; I know I have seen her. That lovely
lady with the beautiful smile, and soft black eyes. Oh, I know; I've
seen her, Mr. Toosypegs."
"Land of hope! where, Miss Minnie?"
But Minnie had recovered from her sudden joy and surprise at hearing of
the resemblance between this beautiful lady and the lovely vision of her
dreams, and pausing now, she blushed, and said:
"Please don't ask me, Mr. Toosypegs; you would think me silly, I guess.
I must go and help Lucy to get dinner now. You'll stay for dinner--won't
you, Mr. Toosypegs?"
"Thank you, Miss Minnie," said the gratified Mr. Toosypegs, "I certainly
will, with a great deal of pleasure; I'm very much obliged to you."