Lord W---- is come. Lord and Lady L---- are here. They, and Miss
Grandison, received him with great respect. He embraced his nieces in a
very affectionate manner. Sir Charles was absent. Lord W---- is in
person and behaviour a much more agreeable man than I expected him to be.
Nor is he so decrepit with the gout, as I had supposed. He is very
careful of himself, it seems. This world has been kind to him; and I
fancy he makes a great deal of a little pain, for want of stronger
exercises to his patience; and so is a sufferer by self-indulgence. Had
I not been made acquainted with his free living, and with the insults he
bore from Mrs. Giffard, with a spirit so poor and so low, I should have
believed I saw not only the man of quality, but the man of sense, in his
countenance. I endeavoured, however, as much as I could, to look upon
him as the brother of the late Lady Grandison. Had he been worthy of
that relation, how should I have reverenced him!
But whatever I thought of him, he was highly taken with me. He
particularly praised me for the modesty which he said was visible in my
countenance. Free-livers, Lucy, taken with that grace in a woman, which
they make it their pride to destroy! But all men, good and bad, admire
modesty in a woman: And I am sometimes out of humour with our sex, that
they do not as generally like modesty in men. I am sure that this grace,
in Sir Charles Grandison, is one of his principal glories with me. It
emboldens one's heart, and permits one to behave before him with ease;
and, as I may say, with security, in the consciousness of a right
intention.
But what were Lord W----'s praises of his nephew! He called him, the
glory of his sex, and of human nature. How the cheeks of the dear Emily
glowed at the praises given to her guardian!--She was the taller for
them: when she moved, it was on tiptoe; stealing as it were, across the
floor, lest she should lose any thing that was said on a subject so
delightful to her.
My lord was greatly pleased with her too. He complimented her as the
beloved ward of the best of guardians. He lamented, with us, the
occasion that called his nephew abroad. He was full of his own
engagements with Miss Mansfield, and declared that his nephew should
guide and govern him as he pleased in every material case, respecting
either the conduct of his future life, or the management and disposition
of his estate; declaring, that he had made his will, and, reserving only
his lady's jointure, and a few legacies, had left every thing to him.
How right a thing, even in policy, is it, my dear, to be good and
generous.
I must not forget, that my lord wished with all his soul, that was his
expression, that he might have the honour of giving to his nephew my hand
in marriage.
I could feel myself blush. I half-suppressed a sigh: I would have wholly
suppressed it, if I could. I recovered the little confusion, his too
plainly expressed wish gave me, by repeating to myself the word CLEMENTINA.
This Charlotte is a great coward. But I dare not tell her so, for fear
of a retort. I believe I should be as great a one in her circumstances,
so few hours to one of the greatest events of one's life! But I pretend
not to bravery: yet hope, that in the cause of virtue or honour I should
be found to have a soul.
I write now at my cousin's. I came hither to make an alteration in my
dress. I have promised to be with the sweet Bully early in the morning
of her important day.