MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5.
Miss Jervois came to me this morning by six; impatient, as she said, to
communicate good news to me. I was in my closet writing. I could not
sleep.
I have seen my mother, said she; and we are good friends. Was she ever
unkind to me, madam?
Dear creature! said I, and clasped her to my bosom, you are a sweet girl!
Oblige me with the particulars.
Let me, Lucy, give you, as near as I can recollect, the amiable young
creature's words and actions on this occasion.
Sit down, my love, said I.--What! When I am talking of a reconciled
mother! And to dear Miss Byron!--No, indeed.
She often held out one open hand, while the forefinger of the other, in
full action, patted it; as at other times both were spread, with pretty
wonder and delight: and thus she began:--
Why, you must know, it was about six o'clock yesterday afternoon, that my
mother and her husband, and Captain Salmonet, came. I was told of their
visit but two hours before: and when the coach stopped, and I at the
window saw them alight, I thought I should have fainted away. I would
have given half I was worth in the world to have been an hundred miles
off.
Dr. Bartlett was there, and received them. My guardian was unexpectedly
engaged in answering a letter sent him by Lord W----, for which a
gentleman waited: but they had not been there a quarter of an hour, when
he entered, and made apologies to them in his usual gracious manner.
Never, the doctor says, did any body look so respectful as the major and
the captain; and they would have made apologies to my guardian, for their
last behaviour to him; but he would not let them. And my mother, the
doctor says, from the very first, behaved prettily.
The moment she asked for me, my guardian himself condescended to come up
to me, and took my hand--Was not that very good of him?--My dear, said
he, as he led me down stairs, (and spoke so kindly,) don't tremble so: am
I not with you?--Your mother is very calm and composed: you must ask her
blessing. I shall ease your tender heart of every pang. I shall hint to
you what to do, and how to behave to the gentlemen, as occasions arise.
He had no sooner said the words, but the drawing-room door gave way to
his hand, and I was in the room with him.
Down on my knees dropt I--as I now do to you: but I could not speak.
Thus I did. [And she kissed my hand, and bowed her face upon it.] And
my mother raised me--You must raise me, madam--Yes, just so--And she
kissed me too, and wept on my neck; and called me pretty names; and
encouraged me, and said she loved me, as she loved her own soul--And I
was encouraged.
My guardian then, with the air and manner of a gracious prince, took my
hand, and presented it first to the major, then to the captain; and they
each kissed my hand, and spoke in my praise, I can't tell how many fine
things.
Major, said my guardian, when he presented me to him, you must excuse the
dear child's weakness of spirits: she wishes you all happiness on your
nuptials: she has let me know, that she is very desirous to do you
service for her mother's sake.
The major swore by his soul, I was an angel!--Captain Salmonet said,
that, by his salvation, I was a charming young lady!
My mother wept--O, Sir! said she to my guardian: and dropping down in a
chair by the window, not a word more could she speak.
I ran to her, and clasped my arms about her. She wept the more: I wiped
her eyes with her own handkerchief: I told her, it went to my heart to
see her cry: I begged she would spare me this grief.
She clasped her arms then about me, and kissed my cheek, and my forehead.
O, thought I, it is very good of you, my dear mother.
Then came my guardian to us, and he kindly took my mother's hand, and
conducted her to the fire-side; and he led me, and placed me by her, at
the tea-table; and he made the major and the captain sit down by him: so
much graciousness in his countenance. O, madam! I shall be an idolater,
I am afraid. And he said, Emily, my dear, you will make tea for us. My
sister dined abroad, madam, to my mother.--Yes, sir, I will, said I: and
I was as lively as a bird.
But before the servants came in, Let me tell you, madam, said he, what
Miss Jervois has proposed to me.--They were in silent expectation.
She has desired that you, major, will accept from her, for your mutual
use, of an additional 100£. a year; which I shall order to be paid you
quarterly, during Mrs. O'Hara's life, not doubting but you will make her
as happy as it is in your power to make her.
My mother bowed, coloured with gratitude, and looked obliged.
And she begs of you, madam, turning to my mother, that you will accept,
as from the Major, another 100£. a year, for pin-money, which he, or
which you, madam, will draw upon me for; also quarterly, if you choose
not to trouble him to do it: for this 100£. a year must be appropriated
to your sole and separate use, madam; and not be subject to your
controul, Major O'Hara.
Good God! sir! said the Major!--What a wretch was I, the last time I was
here!--There is no bearing of this!
He got up, and went to the window: and the captain said, Blessed Jesu!
and something else, which I could not mind; for I was weeping like a
baby.
What, sir! said my mother, 400£. a year! Do you mean so?--I do, madam--
And, sir, to be so generously paid me my 100£. of it, as if I received it
not from my child, but from my husband!--Good God! How you overpower me,
sir! What shame, what remorse, do you strike into my heart!
And my poor mother's tears ran down as fast as mine.
O madam, said the dear girl to me, clasping her arms about me, how your
tender heart is touched!--It is well you were not there!
Dr. Bartlett came in to tea. My guardian would not permit Antony, who
offered himself, to wait. Antony had been my own papa's servant, when my
mother was not so good.
Nothing but blessings, nothing but looks and words of admiration and
gratitude, passed all the tea-time. How their hearts rejoiced, I
warrant!--Is it not a charming thing, madam, to make people's hearts
glad?--To be sure it is! How many hearts has my guardian rejoiced! You
must bid him be cross to me, or I shall not know what to do with myself!
--But then, if he was, I should only get by myself, and cry, and be angry
with myself, and think he could not be to blame.
O my love, my Emily! said I, take care of your gratitude: that drew in
your true friend.
Well, but how can it be helped, madam? Can a right heart be ungrateful?
--Dr. Bartlett says, There is no such thing as true happiness in this
life: and is it not better to be unhappy from good men and women, than
from bad?--Dear madam, why you have often made me unhappy, because of
your goodness to me; and because I knew, that I neither could deserve nor
return it.
The dear prater went on--My guardian called me aside, when tea was over.
My Emily, said he, [I do love he should call me his Emily!--But all the
world is his Emily, I think,] Let me see what you will do with these two
notes; giving me two bank-notes of 25£. each.--Present pin-money and cash
may be wanted. We will suppose that your mother has been married a
quarter of a year. Her pin-money and the additional annuity may commence
from the 25th of December last. Let me, Emily, when they go away, see
the graceful manner in which you will dispose of the notes: and from Mr.
O'Hara's behaviour upon it, we shall observe whether he is a man with
whom your mother, if it be not her own fault, (now you have made it their
interest to be kind to each other,) may live well: but the motion be all
your own.
How good this was! I could have kissed the hand that gave me the notes,
if I thought it would not have looked too free.