Thursday next is the day fixed for the triple marriage of the Danby's. I
have promised to give Miss Danby to Mr. Galliard, and to dine with them
and their friends at Enfield.
If I can see my Lord W---- and Charlotte happy before I go, I shall be
highly gratified.
It is another of my wishes, to see my friend Beauchamp in England first,
and to leave him in possession of his father's love, and of his
mother-in-law's civility. Dr. Bartlett and he will be happy in each
other. I shall correspond with the doctor. He greatly admires you,
madam, and will communicate to you all you shall think worthy of your
notice, relating to the proceedings of a man who will always think
himself honoured by your inquiries after him.
Ah, Lucy! Sir Charles Grandison then sighed. He seemed to look more
than he spoke. I will not promise for my heart, if he treats me with
more than the tenderness of friendship: if he gives me room to think that
he wishes--But what can he wish? He ought to be, he must be,
Clementina's: and I will endeavour to make myself happy, if I can
maintain the second place in his friendship: and when he offers me this,
shall I, Lucy, be so little as to be displeased with the man, who cannot
be to me all that I had once hoped he could be?--No!--He shall be the
same glorious creature in my eyes; I will admire his goodness of heart,
and greatness of mind; and I will think him entitled to my utmost
gratitude for the protection he gave me from a man of violence, and for
the kindness he has already shewn me. Is not friendship the basis of my
love? And does he not tender me that?
Nevertheless, at the time, do what I could, I found a tear ready to
start. My heart was very untoward, Lucy; and I was guilty of a little
female turn. When I found the twinkling of my eyes would not disperse
the too ready drop, and felt it stealing down my cheek, I wiped it off--
The poor Emily, said I--She will be grieved at parting with you. Emily
loves her guardian.
And I love my ward. I once had a thought, madam, of begging your
protection of Emily: but as I have two sisters, I think she will be happy
under their wings, and in the protection of my good Lord L---- and the
rather, as I have no doubt of overcoming her unhappy mother, by making
her husband's interest a guaranty for her tolerable, if not good,
behaviour to her child.
I was glad to carry my thoughts out of myself, as I may say, and from my
own concerns. We all, sir, said I, look upon Mr. Beauchamp as a
future--
Husband for Emily, madam, interrupted he?--It must not be at my motion.
My friend shall be entitled to share with me my whole estate; but I will
never seek to lead the choice of my WARD. Let Emily, some time hence,
find out the husband she can be happy with; Beauchamp the wife he can
love: Emily, if I can help it, shall not be the wife of any man's
convenience. Beauchamp is nice, and I will be as nice for my WARD. And
the more so, as I hope she herself wants not delicacy. There is a
cruelty in persuasion, where the heart rejects the person proposed,
whether the urger be parent or guardian.
Lord bless me, thought I, what a man is this!
Do you expect Mr. Beauchamp soon, sir?
Every day, madam.
And is it possible, sir, that you can bring all these things to bear
before you leave England, and go so soon?
I fear nothing but Charlotte's whimsies. Have you, madam, any reason to
apprehend that she is averse to an alliance with Lord G----? His father
and aunt are very importunate for an early celebration.
None at all, sir.
Then I shall depend much upon yours, and Lord and Lady L----'s influence
over her.
He besought my excuse for detaining my attention so long. Upon his
motion to go, my two cousins came in. He took even a solemn leave of me,
and a very respectful one of them.
I had kept up my spirits to their utmost stretch: I besought my cousins
to excuse me for a few minutes. His departure from me was too solemn;
and I hurried up to my closet; and after a few involuntary sobs, a flood
of tears relieved me. I besought, on my knees, peace to the disturbed
mind of the excellent Clementina, calmness and resignation to my own, and
safety to Sir Charles. And then, drying my eyes at the glass, I went
down stairs to my cousins; and on their inquiries (with looks of deep
concern) after the occasion of my red eyes, I said, All is over! All is
over! my dear cousins. I cannot blame him: he is all that is noble and
good--I can say no more just now. The particulars you shall have from my
pen.
I went up stairs to write: and except for one half hour at dinner, and
another at tea, I stopt not till I had done.
And here, quite tired, uneasy, vexed with myself, yet hardly knowing why,
I lay down my pen.--Take what I have written, cousin Reeves: if you can
read it, do: and then dispatch it to my Lucy.
But, on second thoughts, I will shew it to the two ladies, and Lord
L----, before it is sent away. They will be curious to know what passed
in a conversation, where the critical circumstances both of us were in,
required a delicacy which I am not sure was so well observed on my side,
as on his.
I shall, I know, have their pity: but let nobody who pities not the noble
Clementina shew any for