It was close on dressing-time when Charles came into the drawing-room,
where Evelyn and Molly were building castles on the hearth-rug in the
ruddy firelight. After changing his damp clothes, he had gone to the
smoking-room, but he had found Dare sitting there in a vast
dressing-gown of Ralph's, in a state of such utter dejection, with his
head in his hands, that he had silently retreated again before he had
been perceived. He did not want to see Dare just now. He wished he were
not in the house.
Quite oblivious of the fact that he was not in Evelyn's good graces, he
went and sat by the drawing-room fire, and absently watched Molly
playing with her bricks. Presently, when the dressing-bell rang, Evelyn
went away to dress, and Molly, tired of her castles, suggested that she
might sit on his knee.
He let her climb up and wriggle and finally settle herself as it seemed
good to her, but he did not speak; and so they sat in the firelight
together, Molly's hand lovingly stroking his black velvet coat. But her
talents lay in conversation, not in silence, and she soon broke it.
"You do look beautiful to-night, Uncle Charles."
"Do I?" without elation.
"Do you know, Uncle Charles, Ninny's sister with the wart on her cheek
has been to tea? She's in the nursery now. Ninny says she's to have a
bite of supper before she goes."
"You don't say so?"
"And we had buttered toast to tea, and she said you were the most
splendid gentleman she ever saw."
Charles did not answer. He did not even seem to have heard this
interesting tribute to his personal appearance. Molly felt that
something must be gravely amiss, and, laying her soft cheek against his,
she whispered, confidentially:
"Uncle Charles, are you uncomferable inside?"
There was a long pause.
"Yes, Molly," at last, pressing her to him.
"Is it there?" said Molly, sympathetically, laying her hand on the front
portion of her amber sash.
"No, Molly; I only wish it were."
"It's not the little green pears, then," said Molly, with the sigh of
experience, "because it's always _just_ there, _always_, with them. It
was again yesterday. They're nasty little pears,"--with a touch of
personal resentment.
Uncle Charles smiled at last, but it was not quite his usual smile.
"Miss Molly," said a voice from the door, "your mamma has sent for you."
"It's not bedtime yet."
"Your mamma says you are to come at once," was the reply.
Molly, knowing from experience that an appeal to Charles was useless on
these occasions, wriggled down from her perch rather reluctantly, and
bade her uncle "Good-night."
"Perhaps it will be better to-morrow," she said, consolingly.
"Perhaps," he said, nodding at her; and he took her little head between
his hands, and kissed her. She rubbed his kiss off again, and walked
gravely away. She could not be merry and ride in triumph up-stairs on
kind curvetting Sarah's willing back, while her friend was "uncomferable
inside." There was no galloping down the passage that night, no
pleasantries with the sponge in Molly's tub, no last caperings in light
attire. Molly went silently to bed, and as on a previous occasion when
in great anxiety about Vic, who had thoughtlessly gone out in the
twilight for a stroll, and had forgotten the lapse of time, she added a
whispered clause to her little petitions which the ear of "Ninny" failed
to catch.
Charles recognized, in the way Evelyn had taken Molly from him, that she
was not yet appeased. It should be remembered, in order to do her
justice, that a good woman's means of showing a proper resentment are so
straitened and circumscribed by her conscience that she is obliged, from
actual want of material, to resort occasionally to little acts of
domestic tyranny, small in themselves as midge bites, but, fortunately
for the cause of virtue, equally exasperating. Indeed, it is improbable
that any really good woman would ever so far forget herself as to lose
her temper, if she were once thoroughly aware how much more irritating
in the long-run a judicious course of those small persecutions may be
made, which the tenderest conscience need not scruple to inflict.
Charles was unreasonably annoyed at having Molly taken from him. As he
sat by the fire alone, tired in mind and body, a hovering sense of
cold, and an intense weariness of life took him; and a great longing
came over him like a thirst--a longing for a little of the personal
happiness which seemed to be the common lot of so many round him; for a
home where he had now only a house; for love and warmth and
companionship, and possibly some day a little Molly of his own, who
would not be taken from him at the caprice of another.
The only barrier to the fulfilment of such a dream had been a
conscientious scruple of Ruth's, to which at the time he had urged upon
her that she did wrong to yield. That barrier was now broken down; but
it ought never to have existed. Ruth and he belonged to each other by
divine law, and she had no right to give herself to any one else to
satisfy her own conscience. And now--all would be well. She was absolved
from her promise. She had been wrong to persist in keeping it, in his
opinion; but at any rate she was honorably released from it now. And she
would marry him.
And that _second_ promise, which she had made to Dare, that she would
still marry him if he were free to marry?
Charles moved impatiently in his chair. From what exaggerated sense of
duty she had made that promise he knew not; but he would save her from
the effects of her own perverted judgment. He knew what Ruth's word
meant, since he had tried to make her break it. He knew that she had
promised to marry Dare if he were free. He knew that, having made that
promise, she would keep it.
It would be mere sentimental folly on his part to say the word that
would set Dare free. Even if the American woman were not his wife in the
eye of the law, she had a moral claim upon him. The possibility of
Ruth's still marrying Dare was too hideous to be thought of. If her
judgment was so entirely perverted by a morbid conscientious fear of
following her own inclination that she could actually give Dare that
promise, directly after the arrival of the adventuress, Charles would
take the decision out of her hands. As she could not judge fairly for
herself, he would judge for her, and save her from herself.
For her sake as much as for his own he resolved to say nothing. He had
only to keep silence.
_"There's no one to tell if you don't."_
The door opened, and Charles gave a start as Dare came into the room. He
was taken aback by the sudden rush of jealous hatred that surged up
within him at his appearance. It angered and shamed him, and Dare, much
shattered but feebly cordial, found him very irresponsive and silent for
the few minutes that remained before the dinner-bell rang, and the
others came down.
It was not a pleasant meal. If Dare had been a shade less ill, he must
have noticed the marked coldness of Evelyn's manner, and how Ralph
good-naturedly endeavored to make up for it by double helpings of soup
and fish, which he was quite unable to eat. Charles and Lady Mary were
never congenial spirits at the best of times, and to-night was not the
best. That lady, after feebly provoking the attack, as usual, sustained
some crushing defeats, mainly couched in the language of Scripture,
which was, as she felt with Christian indignation, turning her own
favorite weapon against herself, as possibly Charles thought she
deserved, for putting such a weapon to so despicable a use.
"I really don't know," she said, tremulously, afterwards in the
drawing-room, "what Charles will come to if he goes on like this. I
don't mind"--venomously--"his tone towards myself. That I do not regard;
but his entire want of reverence for the Church and apostolic
succession; his profane remarks about vestments; in short, his entire
attitude towards religion gives me the gravest anxiety."
In the dining-room the conversation flagged, and Charles was beginning
to wonder whether he could make some excuse and bolt, when a servant
came in with a note for him. It was from the doctor in D----, and ran as
follows:
"DEAR SIR,
"I have just seen (6.30 P.M.) Stephens again. I found him in a
state of the wildest excitement, and he implored me to send you
word that he wanted to see you again. He seemed so sure that you
would go if you knew he wished it, that I have commissioned
Sergeant Brown's boy to take this. He wished me to say 'there
was something more.' If there is any further confession he
desires to make, he has not much time to do it in. I did not
expect he would have lasted till now. As it is, he is going
fast. Indeed, I hardly think you will be in time to see him; but
I promised to give you this message.
Yours faithfully,
R. WHITE."
"I must go," Charles said, throwing the note across to Ralph. "Give the
boy half a crown, will you? I suppose I may take Othello?" and before
Ralph had mastered the contents of the note, and begun to fumble for a
half-crown, Charles was saddling Othello himself, without waiting for
the groom, and in a few minutes was clattering over the stones out of
the yard.
There was just light enough to ride by, and he rode hard. What was
it--what could it be that Raymond had still to tell him? He felt certain
it had something to do with Ruth, and probably Dare. Should he arrive in
time to hear it? There at last were the lights of D---- in front of him.
Should he arrive in time? As he pulled up his steaming horse before the
police-station his heart misgave him.
"Am I too late?" he asked of the man who came to the door.
He looked bewildered.
"Stephens! Is he dead?"
The man shook his head.
"They say he's a'most gone."
Charles threw the rein to him, and hurried in-doors. He met some one
coming out, the doctor probably, he thought afterwards, who took him
up-stairs, and sent away the old woman who was in attendance.
"I can't do anything more," he said, opening the door for him. "Wanted
elsewhere. Very good of you, I'm sure. Not much use, I'm afraid.
Good-night. I'll tell the old woman to be about."
A dim lamp was burning on the little corner cupboard near the door, and,
as Charles bent over the bed, he saw in a moment, even by that pale
light, that he was too late.
Life was still there, if that feeble tossing could be called life; but
all else was gone. Raymond's feet were already on the boundary of the
land where all things are forgotten; and, at the sight of that dim
country, memory, affrighted, had slipped away and left him.
Was it possible to recall him to himself even yet?
"Raymond," he said, in a low distinct voice, "what is it you wish to
say? Tell me quickly what it is."
But the long agony of farewell between body and soul had begun, and the
eyes that seemed to meet his with momentary recognition only looked at
him in anguish, seeking help and finding none, and wandered away again,
vainly searching for that which was not to be found.
Charles could do nothing, but he had not the heart to leave him to
struggle with death entirely alone, and so, in awed and helpless
compassion, he sat by him through one long hour after another, waiting
for the end which still delayed, his eyes wandering ever and anon from
the bed to the high grated window, or idly spelling out the different
names and disparaging remarks that previous occupants had scratched and
scrawled over the whitewashed walls.
And so the hours passed.
At last, all in a moment, the struggle ceased. The dying man vainly
tried to raise himself to meet what was coming, and Charles put his
strong arm round him and held him up. He knew that consciousness
sometimes returns at the moment of death.
"Raymond," he whispered, earnestly. "Raymond."
A tremor passed over the face. The lips moved. The homeless, lingering
soul came back, and looked for the last time fixedly and searchingly at
him out of the dying eyes, and then--seeing no help for it--went
hurriedly on its way, leaving the lips parted to speak, leaving the
deserted eyes vacant and terrible, until after a time Charles closed
them.
He had gone without speaking. Whatever he had wished to say would remain
unsaid forever. Charles laid him down, and stood a long time looking at
the set face. The likeness to Raymond seemed to be fading away under the
touch of the Mighty Hand, but the look of Ruth, the better look,
remained.
At last he turned away and went out, stopping to wake the old nurse,
heavily asleep in the passage. His horse was brought round for him from
somewhere, and he mounted and rode away. He had no idea how long he had
been there. It must have been many hours, but he had quite lost sight of
time. It was still dark, but the morning could not be far off. He rode
mechanically, his horse, which knew the road, taking him at its own
pace. The night was cold, but he did not feel it. All power of feeling
anything seemed gone from him. The last two days and nights of suspense
and high-strung emotion seemed to have left him incapable of any further
sensation at present beyond that of an intense fatigue.
He rode slowly, and put up his horse with careful absence of mind. The
eastern horizon was already growing pale and distinct as he found his
way in-doors through the drawing-room window, the shutter of which had
been left unhinged for him by Ralph, according to custom when either of
them was out late. He went noiselessly up to his room, and sat down.
After a time he started to find himself still sitting there; but he
remained without stirring, too tired to move, his elbows on the table,
his chin in his hands. He felt he could not sleep if he were to drag
himself into bed. He might just as well stay where he was.
And as he sat watching the dawn his mind began to stir, to shake off its
lethargy and stupor, to struggle into keener and keener consciousness.
There are times, often accompanying great physical prostration, when a
veil seems to be lifted from our mental vision. As in the Mediterranean
one may glance down suddenly on a calm day, and see in the blue depths
with a strange surprise the sea-weed and the rocks and the fretted sands
below, so also in rare hours we see the hidden depths of the soul, over
which we have floated in heedless unconsciousness so long, and catch a
glimpse of the hills and the valleys of those untravelled regions.
Charles sat very still with his chin in his hands. His mind did not
work. It looked right down to the heart of things.
There is, perhaps, no time when mental vision is so clear, when the mind
is so sane, as when death has come very near to us. There is a light
which he brings with him, which he holds before the eyes of the dying,
the stern light, seldom seen, of reality, before which self-deception
and meanness, and that which maketh a lie, cower in their native
deformity and slip away.
And death sheds at times a strange gleam from that same light upon the
souls of those who stand within his shadow, and watch his kingdom
coming. In an awful transfiguration all things stand for what they are.
Evil is seen to be evil, and good to be good. Right and wrong sunder
more far apart, and we cannot mistake them as we do at other times. The
debatable land stretching between them--that favorite resort of
undecided natures--disappears for a season, and offers no longer its
false refuge. The mind is taken away from all artificial supports, and
the knowledge comes home to the soul afresh, with strong conviction that
"truth is our only armor in all passages of life," as with awed hearts
we see it is the only armor in the hour of death, the only shield that
we may bear away with us into the unknown country.
Charles shuddered involuntarily. His decision of the afternoon to keep
secret what Raymond had told him was gradually but surely assuming a
different aspect. What was it, after all, but a suppression of truth--a
kind of lie? What was it but doing evil that good might come?
It was no use harping on the old string of consequences. He saw that he
had resolved to commit a deliberate sin, to be false to that great
principle of life--right for the sake of right, truth for the love of
truth--by which of late he had been trying to live. So far it had not
been difficult, for his nature was not one to do things by halves, but
now--
Old voices out of the past, which he had thought long dead, rose out of
forgotten graves to urge him on. What was he that he should stick at
such a trifle? Why should a man with his past begin to split hairs?
And conscience said nothing, only pointed, only showed, with a clearness
that allowed of no mistake, that he had come to a place where two roads
met.
Charles's heart suffered then "the nature of an insurrection." The old
lawless powers that had once held sway, and had been forced back into
servitude under the new rule of the last few years of responsibility and
honor, broke loose, and spread like wildfire throughout the kingdom of
his heart.
The struggle deepened to a battle fierce and furious. His soul was rent
with a frenzy of tumult, of victory and defeat ever changing sides, ever
returning to the attack.
Can a kingdom divided against itself stand?
He sat motionless, gazing with absent eyes in front of him.
And across the shock of battle, and above the turmoil of conflicting
passions, Ruth's voice came to him. He saw the pale spiritual face, the
deep eyes so full of love and anguish, and yet so steadfast with a great
resolve. He heard again her last words, "I cannot do what is wrong, even
for you."
He stretched out his hands suddenly.
"You would not, Ruth," he said, half aloud; "you would not. Neither will
I do what I know to be wrong for you, so help me God! not even for you."
The dawn was breaking, was breaking clear and cold, and infinitely far
away; was coming up through unfathomable depths and distances, through
gleaming caverns and fastnesses of light, like a new revelation fresh
from God. But Charles did not see it, for his head was down on the
table, and he was crying like a child.