A man of good appearance gave himself out as a lecturer on English

literature. Fortified with letters to certain Professors of Trinity

College, a small but select audience assembled to hear him. Moore, who

was present, among other questions asked him if he was acquainted with

“Shenstone’s School Mistress.” He replied, “Yes, but ha’n’t seen her

for some time.” In the course of the lecture, he quoted a passage from

Lucan, which he said was counted by some critics very “helegant and

hingenious,” and which he read as follows:--“The ’evens hintomb, ’im

’oom the hearth does not hinter,” he declared his own opinion that it

was neither “helegant nor hingenious.”

THE END.

R. SYMON, PRINTER, EDINBURGH.

NOTES

[A] It has been said, that the stranger was looking for Lamb’s Conduit

Street. This and the following anecdote, together with one or two

others, are from an exceedingly amusing work, entitled “The Clubs of

London,” published in 1828.

[B] Burnett’s _History of his Own Times_, iii. 1350.

[C] The most remarkable thing in this anecdote is certainly the king’s

want of good manners, in asking such a question of the representative

of a foreign nation.

[D] It was from this, perhaps, that Goldsmith took the idea of

Garrick’s character in his poem called “Retaliation.”

[E] Sir Lumely Skeffington, we believe, is the author alluded to.

[F] A celebrated harlequin of the Italian comedy.

[G] BERNARD’S _Retrospections of the Stage_.

* * * * *

Transcriber’s Note:

Italic text is denoted by _underscores_.

Variations in spelling, hyphenation and punctuation remain as in the

original unless noted below.

Page 3, “f” changed to “if” (“that if it would not do”).

Page 3, “Johnston” changed to “Johnson” (“desired Dr. Johnson to

give”).

Page 10, double quotation mark added after “cursedly _through your

cheek_.”

Page 14, period added after “save her from the torture.”

Page 16, single quotation mark changed to double after “Will, sir.”

Page 16, superfluous quotation mark deleted after “the way to a certain

place.”

Page 16, “What are doing” changed to “What are you doing.”

Page 22, “amature” changed to “amateur” (“an amateur of this sort of

mischief”).

Page 23, repeated word “out” removed (“for out of it came the Earls of

Pembroke”).

Page 27, “Keynon” changed to “Kenyon” (“that Lord Kenyon had fallen

asleep”).

Page 27, double quotation mark added after “he thinks he is on the

_bench_.”

Page 28, “recommed” changed to “recommend” (“I’ll recommend you every

where.”).

Page 29, “spouting-club” changed to “sporting-club” (“an eminent

poulterer went to a sporting-club”).

Page 29, “onl” changed to “only” (“I only speak de truth”).

Page 30, “humurous” changed to “humorous” (“gave him a humorous

reproof”).

Page 31, “effected” changed to “effect” (“so commanding had the desired

effect”).

Page 32, “possesssd” changed to “possessed” (“who possessed every

requisite”).

Page 35, “Boy” changed to “Boys” (“Boys fly kites for recreation”).

Page 45, “WILLAM” changed to “WILLIAM” (“WILLIAM III. AND SERGEANT

MAYNARD.”).

Page 52, “he” changed to “be” (“a bottle of Cape to be set”).

Page 52, “puplic” changed to “public” (“in the public rooms at Bath”).

Page 58, single quotation mark changed to double after “the best of

characters.”

Page 54, “rom” changed to “from” (“goutified from his excesses”).

Page 61, “BEWEEN” changed to “BETWEEN” (“DISTINCTION BETWEEN A LORD

AND A GENTLEMAN.”).

Page 61, “a” changed to “A” (“DISTINCTION BETWEEN A LORD AND A

GENTLEMAN.”).

Page 65, single quotation mark changed to double after “sir, I assure

you!”

Page 71, single quotation mark changed to double after “I do,”

Page 71, “Whether” changed to “whether” (“asking, whether, under such

circumstances”).

Page 71, double quotation mark added before “you play the _fool_.”

Page 76, double quotation mark added before “have I not given you your

full.”

Page 77, double quotation mark added after “here see _the road to

England_.”

Page 83, “busines” changed to “business” (“his style of doing

business”).

Page 84, “you” changed to “your” (““And your petitioner shall ever”).

Page 86, double quotation mark added before “but I trust I have

strength.”

Page 92, double quotation mark added before “I would have you know.”

Page 93, “answerered” changed to “answered” (“answered he”).

Page 94, double quotation mark added before “one good _turn_

deserved.”

Page 98, “cooly” changed to “coolly” (“expect to be received so

coolly”).

Page 98, period added after “much admire the _air_.”

Page 100, “gentleman” changed to “gentlemen” (“Ladies and

gentlemen”).

Page 100, “unsuccesful” changed to “unsuccessful” (“endeavours to

please are unsuccessful“).

Page 102, “may” changed to “many” (“used to relate many curious”).

Page 102, “SIMLPE” change to “SIMPLE” (“A SIMPLE MACHINE OUT OF

ORDER.”).

Page 108, double quotation mark added after “if you are not wrong,”

Page 109, double quotation mark added before “I rather believe it.”

Page 111, double quotation mark added after “sir, pots and all.”

Page 113, “asted” changed to “lasted” (“house ever lasted long.”).

Page 113, “Dury” changed to “Drury” (“a tragedy acted at Drury Lane”).

Page 118, double quotation mark added after “unction before you went.”

Page 120, two adjacent single quotes changed to double quotes (“Can

you so?”).

Page 121, double quotation mark added after “You want amusement, sir,”

Page 128, “L” inserted (“replied his Lordship”).

Page 129, period added after “his company for nothing.”

Page 129, double quotation mark added after “sober and the drunken

club.”

Page 133, “check’d” changed to “cheek’d” (“of a little

cherry-cheek’d”).

Page 137, double quotation mark added after “_I have covered so many

blunders of yours_.“

Page 138, single quotation mark changed to double after “say as much

of you.”

Page 142, “this” changed to “his” (“the cord under his left ear”).

Page 142, superfluous closing quotation mark deleted after “the cord

under his left ear.”

Page 151, “Johson” changed to “Johnson” (“very desirous to see Ben

Johnson”).

Page 152, “de-declared” changed to “declared” (“that she declared to

him”).

Page 152, “audence” changed to “audience“ (“the great amusement of the

audience”).

Page 153, “welsh” changed to “Welsh” (“The Welsh formerly drank”).

Page 159, “ofter” changed “after” (“Soon after Lord Sidney’s

elevation”).

Page 159, “ECENTRIC” changed to “ECCENTRIC” (“ECCENTRIC

RECOMMENDATION”).

Page 162, “betwen” changed to “between” (“between conscience and

self-interest”).

Page 164, “vension” changed to “venison” (“the venison not kept

long”).

Page 164, repeated word “the” removed (“said the quaker”).

Page 164, “Lest” changed to “Let” (“Let us now see”).

Page 170, comma changed to period after “at the _fall of the leaf_.”

Page 178, “occured” changed to “occurred” (“occurred on the Epsom

road”).

Page 189, double quotation mark added after “obliged to sit and hear

it.”

Page 191, “goal” changed to “gaol” (“was in Shrewsbury gaol for

preaching”).

Page 192, “Russel” changed to “Russell” (“replied Miss Russell”).

Page 193, single quotation mark changed to double after “put on thy

hat.”

Page 193, “advance” changed to “advanced” (“returned in advanced

life”).

Page 195, double quotation mark added after “it is all down hill.”

Page 197, superfluous quotation mark deleted in “Hold, my friend,”

Page 200, single quotation mark changed to double after “I can’t help

it my dear,”

Page 200, double quotation mark added after “exactly of your

ladyship’s size.”

Page 203, double quotation mark added after “they are in law.”

Page 205, superfluous quotation mark deleted in “Indeed, my lady,”

Page 211, superfluous quote removed after “incapable of business,” and

before “but above it.”

Page 213, “fellows” changed to “fellow’s” (“over the fellow’s back”).

Page 222, double quotation mark added after “and leave these

unfortunate men?”

Page 227, comma changed to period after “Nisi dominus frustra.”

Page 230, double quotation mark added after “I think,”

Page 232, double quotation mark added before “you must say the

following words.”

Page 235, apostrophe inserted in “nobleman’s” (“he stirred the

nobleman’s”).

Page 246, “CURE” changed to “CURÉ” (“IGNORANCE OF A FRENCH CURÉ”).

Page 248, “point-” changed to “pointing” (“pointing to Mr. Whishaw”).

Page 249, period changed to comma after “is very true in the

_abstract_.”

Original scans of this book can be found here:

https://archive.org/details/englishjestsanec00edin.

English Jests and Anecdotes, Collected from Various Sources · 第 15 / 15 段