I think of coming on Sunday. In the meanwhile I must give you some sort
of explanation respecting the incompleteness of our friend's
"Saunterings."
He might indeed, in his book, have mentioned all the remarkable places
and sights of your metropolis; but he could only have _mentioned_ them.
He preferred taking up a few strong features and phases, and expatiating
on them. Of course a great deal was passed over in silence; you, as an
Englishman, have the greatest right to complain of such neglect. But,
most respectable Sir John, pray do not forget that in this manner
mention has not been made of many things which are by no means agreeable
to British ears when commented upon by foreigners. A good many capital
descriptions there are; but, dear me, how much is wanting! I tell you
the very things are wanting which we Germans, I trust, shall never think
of imitating.
Not a word of your dog and rat fights. Not a word of the manifest
incompetency of the majority of your sculptors and painters. Not a
syllable of your unequalled musical barbarism. Not a word of the
stupendous prostitution--of the dirt--the dissoluteness--the
bestiality--in the lower Thames quarters and the Borough. No detailed
descriptions of your gin palaces and sailors' saloons--your learned
professions--the intricacies of the law--medicine swamped in
charlatanism--your High Church--your Low Church, and sectarian
fanaticism--your bigotted Universities, Oxford and Cambridge--the
narrow-mindedness of your aristocracy, and the snobbism of your middle
classes: all these matters are altogether left out.
My dear Sir John, you are quite right. It _would_ take ten volumes to
exhaust the subject. Between ourselves, perhaps you would not half like
it if our friend were to continue his "Saunterings."
London is awful just now. Where in all the world can such fogs and such
a pestilential atmosphere be found, except in London? The wolves in the
Cologne Cathedral are mere creations of your free-born British fancy;
and, as for the present absence of your great coat--do I not know that
Englishmen brave even the rigours of a German winter in check trousers
and dress coats? But they are cunning enough to don those respectable
habiliments over sundry layers of flannel. Have you left off your vests,
etc.? Of course you are comfortable in your country cottage, and I shall
come to admire you in all your glory.
Yours, etc.
P.S.--Your medical advice is valuable; I mean, in part, to conform to
it. I found the Cognac, and shall take it as directed. But your pills I
shall not take. I'm reading the French papers, and they do quite as
well.
THE END.
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