MONI CAN NO LONGER SING
On the following morning Moni came up the path to the Bath House, just
as silent and cast down as the evening before. He brought out the
landlord's goats quietly and went on upwards, but he sang not a note,
nor did he give a yodel up into the air; he let his head hang and looked
as if he were afraid of something; now and then he looked around
timidly, as if some one were coming after him to question him.
Moni could no longer be merry; he didn't know himself exactly why. He
wanted to be glad that he had saved Mäggerli, and sing, but he couldn't
express it. To-day the sky was covered with clouds, and Moni thought
when the sun came out it would be different and he could be happy again.
When he reached the top, it began to rain quite hard. He took refuge
under the Rain-rock, for it soon poured in streams from the sky.
The goats came, too, and placed themselves here and there under the
rock. The aristocratic Blackie immediately wanted to protect her
beautiful shiny coat and crept in under the rock before Moni did. She
was now standing behind Moni and looking out from her comfortable
corner into the pouring rain. Mäggerli was standing in front of its
protector under the projecting rock and gently rubbed its little head
against his knee; then it looked up at him in surprise, because Moni
did not say a word, and it was not accustomed to that. Moni sat
thoughtfully, leaning on his staff, for in such weather he always kept
it in his hand, to keep himself from slipping on the steep places,
for on such days he wore shoes. Now, as he sat for hours under the
Rain-rock, he had plenty of time for reflection.
Moni thought over what he had promised Jörgli, and it seemed to him that
if Jörgli had taken something, he was practically doing the same thing
himself, because Jörgli had promised to give him something or do
something for him. He had surely done what was wrong, and the dear Lord
was now against him. This he felt in his heart, and it was right that it
was dark and rainy and that he was hidden under the rock, for he would
not even have dared look up into the blue sky, as usual.
But there were still other things that Moni had to think about. If
Mäggerli should fall down over a steep precipice again, and he wanted
to get it, the dear Lord would no longer protect him, and he no longer
dared to pray to Him about it and call upon Him, and so had no more
safety; and if then he should slip and fall down with Mäggerli deep over
the jagged, rocks, and both of them should lie all torn and maimed! Oh,
no, he said with anguish in his heart, that must not happen anyway; he
must manage to be able to pray again and come to the dear Lord with
everything that weighed on his heart; then he could be happy again, that
he felt sure of. Moni would throw off the weight that oppressed him, he
would go and tell the landlord everything--But then? Then Jörgli would
not persuade his father, and the landlord would slaughter Mäggerli. Oh,
no! Oh, no! he couldn't bear that, and he said: "No, I will not do it!
I will say nothing!" But he did not feel satisfied, and the weight on
his heart grew heavier and heavier. Thus Moni's whole day passed.
He started home at evening as silent as he had come in the morning. When
he found Paula standing near the Bath House, and she sprang quickly
across to the goat-shed and asked sympathetically: "Moni, what is the
matter? Why don't you sing any more?" he turned shyly away and said:
"I can't," and as quickly as possible made off with his goats.
Paula said to her aunt above: "If I only knew what was the matter with
the goat-boy! He is quite changed. You wouldn't know him. If he would
only sing again!"
"It must be the frightful rain which has silenced the boy so!" remarked
the aunt.
"Everything all comes together; let us go home, Aunt," begged Paula,
"there is no more pleasure here. First I lost my beautiful cross, and it
can't be found; then comes this endless rain, and now we can't ever hear
the merry goat-boy any more. Let us go away!"
"The cure must be finished, or it will do no good," explained the aunt.
It was also dark and gray on the following day, and the rain poured down
without ceasing. Moni spent the day exactly like the one before. He sat
under the rock and his thoughts went restlessly round in a circle, for
when he decided: "Now, I will go and confess the wrong, so that I shall
dare to look up to the dear Lord again," then he saw the little kid
under the knife before him and it all began over again in his mind from
the beginning; so that with thinking and brooding, and the weight he
carried, he was very tired by night, and crept home in the streaming
rain as if he didn't notice it at all.
By the Bath House below the landlord was standing in the back doorway
and called to Moni: "Come in with them. They are wet enough! Why, you
are crawling down the mountain like a snail! I wonder what is the matter
with you!"
The landlord had never been so unfriendly before. On the contrary he
had always made the most friendly remarks to the merry goat-boy. But
Moni's changed appearance did not please him, and besides he was in a
worse humor than usual because Fräulein Paula had just complained to him
about her loss and assured him that the valuable cross could only have
been lost in the house or directly in front of the house-door. She had
only stepped out on that day towards evening, to hear the goat-boy sing
on his way home. To have it said that it was possible for such a costly
thing to be lost in his house, beyond recovery, made him very cross. The
day before he had called together the whole staff of servants, examined
and threatened them, and finally offered a reward to the finder. The
whole house was in an uproar over the lost ornament.
When Moni with his goats passed by the front of the house, Paula was
standing there. She had been waiting for him, for she wondered very
much whether he would ever sing any more or be merry. As he now crept
by, she called:
"Moni! Moni! Are you really the same goat-boy who used to sing from
morning till night:
"'And so blue is the sky there
My joy can't be told'?"
Moni heard the words very well; he gave no answer, but they made a great
impression on him. Oh, how different it really was from the time when
he could sing all day long and he felt exactly as he sang. Oh, if it
could only be like that again!
Again Moni climbed up the mountain, silent and sad and without singing.
The rain had now ceased, but thick fog hung around on the mountains,
and the sky was still full of dark clouds. Moni again sat under the
rock and battled with his thoughts. About noon the sky began to clear;
it grew brighter and brighter. Moni came out of his cave and looked
around. The goats once more sprang gayly here and there, and the little
kid was quite frolicsome from delight at the returning sun and made the
merriest leaps.
Moni stood on the Pulpit-rock and saw how it was growing brighter and
more beautiful below in the valley and above over the mountains beyond.
Now the clouds scattered and the lovely light blue sky looked down so
cheerfully that it seemed to Moni as if the dear Lord were looking out
of the bright blue at him, and suddenly it became quite clear in his
heart what he ought to do. He could not carry the wrong around with him
any more; he must throw it off. Then Moni seized the little kid, that
was jumping about him, took it in his arms and said tenderly: "Oh,
Mäggerli, you poor Mäggerli! I have certainly done what I could, but it
is wrong, and that must not be done. Oh, if only you didn't have to die!
I can't bear it!"
And Moni began to cry so hard, that he could no longer speak, and the
kid bleated pitifully and crept far under his arm, as if it wanted to
cling to him and be protected. Then Moni lifted the little goat on his
shoulders, saying:
"Come, Mäggerli, I will carry you home once more to-day. Perhaps I can't
carry you much longer."
When the flock came down to the Bath House, Paula was again standing on
the watch. Moni put the young goat with the black one in the shed, and
instead of going on farther, he came toward the young lady and was going
past her into the house. She stopped him.
"Still no singing, Moni? Where are you going with such a troubled face?"
"I have to tell about something," replied Moni, without lifting his eyes.
"Tell about something? What is it? Can't I know?"
"I must tell the landlord. Something has been found."
"Found? What is it? I have lost something, a beautiful cross."
"Yes, that is just what it is."
"What do you say?" exclaimed Paula, in the greatest surprise. "Is it a
cross with sparkling stones?"
"Yes, exactly that."
"What have you done with it, Moni? Give it to me. Did you find it?"
"No, Jörgli from Küblis found it."
Then Paula wanted to know who he was and where he lived, and to send
some one to Küblis at once to get the cross.
"I will go as fast as I can, and if he still has it I will bring it to
you," said Moni.
"If he still has it?" said Paula. "Why shouldn't he still have it? And
how do you know all about it, Moni? When did he find it, and how did you
hear about it?"
Moni looked on the ground. He didn't dare say how it had all come
about, and how he had helped to conceal the discovery until he could
no longer bear it.
But Paula was very kind to Moni. She took him aside, sat down on the
trunk of a tree, beside him, and said with the greatest friendliness:
"Come, tell me all about how it happened, Moni, for I want so much to
know everything from you."
Then Moni gained confidence and began to relate the whole story, and
told her every word of his struggle about Mäggerli and how he had lost
all happiness and dared no longer look up to the dear Lord, and how
to-day he couldn't bear it any longer.
Then Paula talked with him very kindly and said he should have come
immediately and told everything, and it was right that he had told her
all now so frankly, and that he would not regret it. Then she said he
could promise Jörgli ten francs, as soon as she had the cross in her
hands again.
"Ten francs!" repeated Moni, full of astonishment, for he knew how
Jörgli would have sold it for much less. Then Moni rose and said he
would go right away that very day to Küblis, and if he got the cross
he would bring it with him early the next morning. He ran along and
was once more able to leap and jump, for he had a much lighter heart
and the heavy burden no longer weighed him down to the ground.
When he reached home, he only put his goats in, told his grandmother he
had an errand to do, and ran at once down to Küblis. He found Jörgli at
home and told him without delay what he had done. At first the boy was
very angry, but when he considered that all was known, he took out the
cross and asked:
"Will she give me anything for it?"
"Yes, and now you can see, Jörgli," said Moni, indignantly, "how by
being honorable you will receive ten francs, and by being deceitful
only four: the ten francs you are going to have now."
Jörgli was very much amazed. He regretted that he had not gone
immediately with the cross to the Bath House, after he had picked it up
in front of the door, for now he had not a clear conscience and it might
have been so different! But now it was too late. He gave the cross to
Moni, who hastened home with it, for it had already grown quite dark.