To those who are fond of charades, and indeed to all those good people
who love to be merry, we commend what the French call _charades en
action_, or pantomime charades. These charades, as the name indicates,
are acted, not spoken. The great rule to be observed is silence, nothing
more than an exclamation being allowed. In extreme cases, where it is
utterly impossible to convey the idea by actions, a placard may be
introduced bearing some helpful inscription, as in the case of Mr. Cuffy
(in the charade on carpet which we shall presently give), who draws from
his bosom a monster letter from Mr. Swab, which he displays to the
audience. In addition to the information it conveys, the production of
this preposterously large note is calculated to create a laugh.
The chief merit in a charade actor is inventive ingenuity in so,
adapting the domestic adjuncts of an ordinary household as to supply
the place of necessary theatrical properties and wardrobe. We have seen
a very respectable Richard Coeur de Lion made up of the tinware of an
ordinary cooking-range; and Queen Elizabeth, frill, hair and all, out of
a few copies of the _Daily Tribune_. We have known a steam fire-engine
to be manufactured out of a baby's crib and a tea-kettle; and Bunker
Hill monument from two chairs, a fishing-rod, and a sheet. Those who
have followed us so far through these pages, have gone through a good
course of study, and will start with great advantages in the pursuit of
charade-acting.
For the convenience of our clients we add a list of words which may be
acted as charades.
LIST OF CHARADE WORDS.
Accent Axe--cent.
Accident Axe--sigh--dent.
Altar Awl--tar.
Artful Art--full.
Apex Ape--X.
Bagpipe Bag--pipe.
Bandage Band--age.
Bedlam Bed--lamb.
Bustard Bust--tarred.
Behead Bee--head.
Blacksmith Black--smith.
Bulrush Bull--rush.
Buttress Butt--tress.
Catsup Cat--sup.
Carboy Car--boy.
Corselet Course--let.
Cribbage Crib--age.
Crossbow Cross--beau.
Cutlass Cut--lass.
Cartel Car--Tell (William).
Cartoon Cart--tune!
Cashier Cash--ear.
Dolphin Doll--fin.
Donkey Don--key.
Ductile Duck--tile.
Definite Deaf--inn--night
Footpad Foot--pad.
Flatten Flat--ten.
Gastric Gas--trick.
Gallic Gall--lick.
Hamlet Ham--let.
Handcuff Hand--cuff.
Hartshorn Hearts--horn.
Hemlock Hem--lock.
Henpeck Hen--peck.
Humbug Hum--bug.
Humdrum Hum--drum.
Idol Eye--doll.
Ill-bred Ill--bread.
Instep Inn--step.
Implore Imp--lore.
Invest Inn--vest.
Incite Inn--sight.
Jackal Jack--awl.
Jury Jew--rye.
Sappet Sap--pet.
Linch-pin Linch--pin.
Loadstone Load--stone.
Mastiff Ma--stiff.
Messmate Mess--mate.
Mistake Miss--take.
Muffin Muff--fin.
Nightmare Night--mare.
Nightshade Night--shade.
Outfit Out--fit.
Pardon Pa--don.
Payday Pay--dey.
Phantom Fan--tom.
Picnic Pick--nick.
Pilot Pie--lot.
Pollute Poll--lute.
Puppet Pup--pet.
Prior Pry--oar.
Ringlet Wring--let.
Sauce-box Sauce--box.
Seesaw Sea--sore.
Shamrock Sham--rock.
Spinster Spin--stir.
Surtout Sir--tout, or Sir--two.
Toilet Toy--let.
Waistcoat Waste--coat.
Welcome Well--come.
Wilful Will--full.
Yellow Yell--low.
CARPET.
A CHARADE IN THREE ACTS.
ACT I.
CAR ----.
_Dramatis Personæ_,
CAR-DRIVER.
CONDUCTOR.
PASSENGERS.
SCENE--_Sixth Avenue, New York._
Scene opens and discovers street-car driving furiously along, drawn by
two chestnut acquaintances. Conductor and driver represented by two
small boys. Car composed of lounge, clothes-horse, and two chairs,
judiciously arranged and draped; wheels of band box-lids or circular
tea-trays. Noise of car simulated by confederates outside shaking
sleigh-bells or hand-bells, and drumming on door with fingers and hand;
also rattling on floor with feet.
Enter some passengers, running and hailing car. Bell rings, by knocking
goblet with spoon. Car stops.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
Passengers rush towards car. Gentleman is in the act of stepping on car
when bell rings, and car suddenly starts off, throwing gentleman
violently to the ground. Great screaming and wailing; friends gather
round and try to raise him; find he is insensible; all immediately begin
shaking their fists at conductor; then simultaneously they bethink
themselves of the propriety of taking the number of the car. All draw
out their memorandum-books and commence writing. Conductor and driver
make gestures of defiance.
[Illustration]
Grand tableau.
ACT II.
---- PET.
_Dramatis Personæ_,
HUSBAND AND WIFE.
Enter lady poutingly, followed by her husband, who tries to coax her
into a good humor, but without avail. She persists in being in a _pet_.
Husband
[Illustration]
by his gestures promises to buy her shawls,
[Illustration]
dresses,
[Illustration]
a piano,
and even
[Illustration]
a riding-horse.[8]
[Illustration]
Finding all these promises are of no use, he begins to get excited;
declares she shall have nothing; lady remains sulky; gentleman seizes
his hat, rams it on his head, and exits. Lady walks off in the opposite
direction, clenching her fists.
[Illustration]
[8] To convey this idea, the gentleman must neigh while he prances.
ACT III.
CARPET.
_Dramatis Personæ_,
IRISHMAN.
COLORED MAN.
SERVANT GIRL.
SCENE--_Street-door of fashionable house--door-plate of white paper
on door bearing the name of Swab._
Enter colored man,[9] with his face well spotted with whitewash, who
rings at door of fashionable house.
[9] The usual way of making a colored man is by blacking the face
with burnt cork; but as gentlemen at evening parties sometimes
object to undergoing this ordeal, a good nigger may be
manufactured by stretching a piece of dark silk across the
face and cutting out holes for the eyes and mouth. Hair can
be made of cotton wadding.
[Illustration]
Irish servant appears with her sleeves rolled up and her dress pinned in
the form of a dress-coat behind. She turns up her nose at darkey, who
humbly intimates that he has called for the _carpet_. Girl slams the
door in his face. Colored man considers this outrageous conduct, as he
has been specially requested to call for orders, and produces the
following note from Mr. Swab:
"MR. CUFFY:
"Please call at No. 13 Fifth Avenue, for carpet.
"JOHN SWAB."
[Illustration]
He points to note and name on door to show he has come to the right
house.
[Illustration]
Enter Irishman, who approaches Mr. Swab's door and rings bell; reappear
girl, who smiles as she produces a roll of carpet. Cuffy steps forward
and expostulates, showing Mr. Swab's letter. Irishman pitches into
Cuffy, and a furious fight ensues, in which the girl joins with a broom.
[Illustration]
THE END OF CARPET.
CATASTROPHE.
A CHARADE IN FOUR ACTS.
ACT I.
CAT.
_Dramatis Personæ_,
CAT.
DOG.
OLD GENTLEMAN.
SCENE--_Backyard of city house, with small table placed on top of
other table, to represent window._
Enter cat (head done up in brown paper, with cat's face painted on it,
brown paper ears, tail made out of lady's boa, black silk handkerchief,
or any suitable thing).
[Illustration]
Cat commences to _meow_ and caterwaul. Old gentleman appears at window
with nightcap on and sheet wrapped round him, and shakes his fist at
cat. Cat continues to make a noise.
[Illustration]
Old gentleman gets very angry, shakes both his fists, withdraws into
room, reappears with hair-brush, which he throws at cat. Cat continues
to make a noise. Old gentleman commences a fusilade of boots, books,
combs, and toilet articles generally. Cat makes more noise than ever,
putting up her back and spitting at the objects as they fell around her.
The old gentleman is almost in despair, when suddenly a bright idea
strikes him, which he expresses by pantomime, placing his finger to the
side of his nose and winking. He disappears from the window. Presently
is heard the rattling of a chain and barking of a dog.
[Illustration]
Enter dog, barking furiously, and pursues cat out of yard. Old gentleman
rubs his hands with glee, and pats dog on head. Dog frisks about.
ACT II
ASS.
_Dramatis Personæ_,
ASS.
RAG AND SOAP-FAT MAN.
SERVANT GIRL.
SCENE--_Public Street._
Enter rag and soap-fat man dragging donkey after him. Donkey dragging
cart made of chair with bandbox-lid wheels, cart filled with odds and
ends of tinware, old rags, etc. Donkey very obstinate; driver beats him
with roll of stiff paper. Servant hails soap-fat man and offers for sale
several large jarsful of drippings, sheets, pillow-cases, etc.,
belonging to her mistress. They chaffer for some time over the bargain,
but finally agree upon a price. The money (all copper pennies) is about
to change hands when the donkey, close by, gives an unearthly bray,
which, to their guilty consciences, sounds like the voice of some
avenging spirit; both scream, drop the money on the floor, and rush off;
donkey turns round and runs off too.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
ACT III.
TROPHY.
_Dramatis Personæ_,
SOLDIERS.
SCENE--_A camp, tents made of sheets hung over chairs, etc._
Enter soldiers, leading prisoners, and bearing ragged and shot-torn flag
on broomstick, band playing trumpets (sheets of music rolled up), and
beating drums (tin pails); they halt and form in line; the officer, by
suitable gestures, calls attention to the trophy.
[Illustration]
Enter general and staff. General makes a speech, pointing to the trophy,
and then decorates their captain by pinning a medal (a circular
soda-cracker fastened to a bit of red ribbon will do) on his breast. All
strike an attitude, and the scene closes.
ACT IV.
CATASTROPHE.
_Dramatis Personæ_,
GENTLEMEN.
LADIES.
HORSES AND POLICEMEN.
SCENE--_Central Park._
A superb carriage, made out of the lounge with bandbox-lid wheels, and
drawn by a span of spirited bay gentleman, is discovered; an elegant
youth is seated on the box driving, whilst the carriage is filled with a
gay and festive party of youthful ladies and gentlemen.
[Illustration]
Presently the horses become restive, plunge wildly about, and, in spite
of all the efforts of the driver, dash the vehicle against a post; the
inmates scream and tumble out. Enter two policemen, who seize the
horses, put the driver on his legs, and carry the rest of the party to
the hospital on stretchers made of the clothes-horse.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
CHAPTER XXVIII.
Those tranquil moods to which allusion has already been made on several
occasions, have now become a decided feature in our character. There is
certainly something very charming in the society of well-bred women.
However, we hope before long we need not be forced from home to find
that enjoyment. We have discovered the object of Nix's recent gifts of
Brahminical works. It was a ponderous roundabout species of humor
peculiar to Nix, the works in question being supposed to furnish
appropriate study for a person in our presumed position as admirer of
Bud (or Boodh).
Nix has for some time past made himself very wearisome with continual
allusions to Vishnu, Siva, Buddhism, and so forth. We gained one idea,
however, from his jest. We have written a Hindoo play, the plot of which
turns on the love of a devout Brahmin. The play is entirely finished
save the last act, which is complete up to the point where Neer Je Haun
declares his love for the Unblown Rose.
THE LAST ACT OF THE PLAY.
We took our play to the Adams' to-night, and told Bud that it was nearly
completed, but we were in some embarrassment how to conclude it. We had
consequently come to consult her on the subject, begging at the same
time she would give it her most careful attention, as her decision was
of vital importance. We were alone. We had read the whole play through
with the utmost care, till we came to the final sentence in our
manuscript, where the hero declares his passion for the Unblown Rose. It
runs thus:
_Neer Je Haun._ "Light of my soul, whose voice is sweeter than the
murmur of the Ganges, whose name is incense to my nostrils, whose eyes
are brighter than the fire-flies by night--my highest ambition is to be
thy slave, my greatest hope to guard thee from harm, to bask in the
radiance of thine eyes. For thee I would sacrifice all other earthly
happiness. When I pray thee to share my humble fortunes, turn not away
thy proud head; parch not my soul with scorn, though well I should
deserve such a fate for my temerity."
Now turning to Bud, we asked her to decide what answer the lover should
receive; should he be accepted or rejected?
"Oh, accepted, of course!" eagerly exclaimed Bud, her bright eyes
kindling with sympathy for the ardent Hindoo.
"It is well!" we replied, and wrote down the maiden's answer.
"I will trust my life in thy hands from this day till death."
"Is that right?" we asked.
She said it was, though perhaps a little cold.
We then drew from our breast pocket one sheet of the manuscript she had
not yet seen. It was the title of the play:
THE WORSHIP OF BUD.
Bud colored--looked at us in an embarrassed way, and then with much
hesitation was about to speak, when we stretched out our hand and said:
"You will not make us alter what we have written?"
She gave no answer, but from the pressure of her hand we knew we need
doubt no more.
Now this heathen idolator would not change places with the greatest
Christian monarch in Europe.
[Illustration]
THE END.
[Illustration: A Catalogue of
BOOKS
ISSUED BY
Carleton, Publisher,
NEW YORK.
1866.]
[Illustration]
"_There is a kind of physiognomy in the_ titles _of books no less
than in the faces of men, by which a skilful observer will know as
well what to expect from the one as the other._"--BUTLER.
NEW BOOKS
And New Editions Recently Issued by
CARLETON, PUBLISHER,
NEW YORK,
418 _BROADWAY, CORNER OF LISPENARD STREET_
N.B.--THE PUBLISHER, upon receipt of the price in advance, will
send any of the following Books by mail, POSTAGE FREE, to any part
of the United States. This convenient and very safe mode may be
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desired work. State name and address in full.
Victor Hugo.
LES MISÉRABLES.--_The best edition_, two elegant 8vo. vols.,
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LES MISÉRABLES.--In the Spanish language. Fine 8vo. edition,
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JARGAL.--A new novel. Illustrated. 12mo. cloth, $1.75
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TWENTY YEARS around the world. J. Guy Vassar. do. $3.75
RURAL ARCHITECTURE.--By M. Field, illustrated. do. $2.00
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