I will give you the following concerning my married life. First let
me tell you I was in the place I was married from just five years as
children’s maid. I was twenty-five, my husband twenty-six the day we
married. Many, including my relatives, thought I ought to have married
better. I had been engaged previously, but he turned out to be not the
God-fearing man I thought. Then our married gardener asked me to tea,
and I met my husband that is now, a true follower of Christ. And I must
tell you, the two years we courted we only missed Church twice. I soon
saw he had won my heart, but his wages was then poor, but I remembered
my dear mother’s words--money does not bring happiness; and so we
were married against the wishes of my friends, and took two rooms and
furnished them. But, oh! I soon found out how hard it was to keep our
little home on 24s. a week, 7s. for our two rooms. Then I got a night
now and again waiting at table with the lady I had lived with and her
friends. How I pleaded to be kept all right, as I could not see our
way clear to have a baby in the home, and I would not, could not, let
any of our friends know the hard struggle I had. I have a dear, loving
husband, who agreed we would like a baby, but had no means of providing
for it. I must tell you I had bad health (bloodlessness) before I was
married, which cost me a lot of money. Then when we had been married
two years I found I was in a certain condition. I hid my condition, and
went still waiting at table, until after a big dinner I fainted, and
had to own I was so. Then came the shortage of money. I began to stint
myself in order to provide for my little one. Many a time I have had
bread and dripping for my dinner before my husband came home, and said
I had my dinner, as I would not wait. Then I was ill, and had to have
the doctor. He said I was run down, and away went some of the little
store I had been able to get together. I would not let my friends know
how we stood, remembering what they said before I was married. Then
came headache after headache, as I worried to know wherever was all
the money to come from to provide the funds for doctor and nurse. My
sister, who was very proud, and unmarried, engaged me a nurse at 14s.
a week for three weeks. She thought she was helping me by seeing that
I had a good nurse, but this only added to my worry. Then my husband,
thinking to help me get the money, had a knitting machine on the hire
system, and made socks and stockings. I had to sew up the toes and
press them into shape. I could not get them right for a long time, and
this added another worry, as we had to pay each month for the machine,
which was a failure. I worked hard at them right up to the time my boy
was born. Oh, my poor head, how it ached, as I tried and tried to do
them right; and we only got 2d. a pair for making them, and my husband
used to walk to the city to the shop with them. (They found the wool.)
I had a very bad confinement, and the baby was almost gone when it
came into the world. I had no strength to go through. The doctor would
not allow me to see anyone for nine days. This was twelve years ago.
My boy, although fat, suffers so much with his head. He had a brain
and nerve breakdown two years ago, and was ill eleven months. One day
the doctor said: “How were you when you carried this child?” Painful
though it was, I told him all. “Ah,” he said, “now we know the cause
of all this trouble.” I have suffered with my head ever since. His
heart also is slightly affected. If only I could have gone to someone
who would have understood, not my relatives, and got some nourishment.
All this that he now suffers, I am sure, is the result of my having to
work and worry so much while I was carrying. I might say the nurse was
very extravagant, and the second week I lay so ill I missed a photo
machine my husband had, and learnt--oh, it is almost too painful to
write--that he had pawned it for 7s. 6d. to help get me nourishment.
He said: “Never again will you go through this. You are too dear to
me.” Well, six years ago, my boy being six years old, my husband had
got on, and his wages increased. We had a little girl, which we had
always longed for, only to lose it as soon as it came into the world,
for I have no strength in my inside (the doctor said) to bring a child
into the world. All this weakness, you see, the result of the first
confinement. Of course, now, the doctor says it would not be safe for
me to have another child. I have a dear loving husband who does all in
his power to keep me right. But it is hard to think if I had another it
would go or be delicate. Now is there not great need for a place where
a young mother could go and get advice and, if necessary, nourishment?
I was one who thought I could do a lot on a little a week, and when I
found out my mistake would do anything rather than let my friends know
their words had come true. I remember when carrying my baby to have to
wait for a loaf of bread until my husband came home at five with his
money, as I always paid down for all we had. I must tell you we have
been married fifteen years and are _very, very_ happy.
_Wages 24s.; one child, one still-birth._