(_A Natural History Note_.)
[Illustration]
The Badger (_Meles-Taxus_) is at once one of the most inoffensive and (in
one sense) offensive of our few remaining British Carnivora. He is
described by NAPIER of Merchiston, in his _Book of Nature and of Man_, as a
"quiet nocturnal beast, but if much 'badgered' becoming obstinate, and
fighting to the last, in which it is a type of a large class of Britons,
who like to be let alone, but when ill used can fight."
That great new authority on Natural History, Mr. G.A. HENTY (author of
_Those Other Animals_), should be able to tell us much about the Badger.
Therewith he would be able, in his own favourite fashion, to "point a
moral" (against the Demogorgon Democracy), and "adorn a tale" (of laboured
waggery). He might find the subject as suggestive of sardonic chaff as
American women and Republican institutions.
What says the popular WOOD? He describes the Badger as "slow and clumsy in
its actions," and as "rolling along so awkwardly that it may easily be
mistaken for a young pig in the dusk of the evening." Woe, however, to
whomsoever _does_ take the creature for "a young pig." "Being naturally as
harmless an animal as can be imagined, it is a terrible antagonist when
provoked to use the means of defence with which it is so well provided."
We tax the patience of poor _Meles-Taxus_,
Until he turns with tooth and claws and whacks us.
The natural home of _Taxus_--the Exchequer--
Harbours a creature that keeps up its pecker.
"For the purpose of so-called 'sport,' the Badger used to be captured and
put into a cage ready to be tormented; at the cruel will of every ruffian
who might chose to risk his dog against the sharp teeth of the captive
animal."
This particular sort of "sport" is a little out of date. But "drawing a
Badger" is not unknown even in these humanitarian days. Dogs will sometimes
voluntarily rush in to risk their hides and muzzles against the aforesaid
sharp teeth, &c. Look at those in the picture!
The two small, if aggressive, terriers seem unequally matched against the
"clumsy" but strong-jawed and terribly-toothed Badger. They have drawn him,
indeed, out of his hole, and one of them, at least, seems rather sorry for
it, if you may judge by the way in which he turns tail and makes for his
protector, the big Bull-Terrier. The ventripotent broken-haired tyke looks
more valorous--for the moment. Yap! yap! yap! _Meles-Taxus_ takes little
notice of him, however. His eyes are on that sturdy specimen of _Canis
familiaris_ there, whose bold eyes in turn are on _him_. Both, perhaps,
experience--
That stern joy which warriors feel
In foemen worthy of their steel."
"Drawn by those two tiny yelpers? Not a bit of it! But _you_, my complacent
canine Colossus--come on if you dare!" And he _does_ dare, evidently.
Whether he'll regret his daring remains to be seen.
* * * * *
The Memory of Milton.
MILTON forgotten? Nay, my BESANT, nay;
Not wholly, even in this petty day,
When learning snips, when criticism snaps,
And the great bulk of readers feed on scraps.
Still, still he finds his "audience fit, though few,"
The rest _forget_ not since they never knew.
* * * * *
The Off-Portsmouth Phrase-Book.
Have you caught a fish?
No, but I have bagged a cannon-ball.
Is the sea too rough for your boat?
No, the sea is not too rough, but the Torpedoes are decidedly embarrassing.
Is that a pretty shell that you are going to carry home to your children?
No, it is a live one, that, if it bursts a yard nearer, will blow us into
smithereens.
Do you propose returning to your lodging to-night?
That is a matter that will be decided by the Commander of the nearest
practising gun-boat.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE RESULT OF TOO MUCH GREEK.
_First Classic_. "BY THE WAY, HADN'T DANTE GOT ANOTHER NAME?"
_Second Classic_. "YES; ALFIERI, I THINK--OR ELSE ALIGHIERI."
_First Classic_. "AH, PERHAPS YOU'RE RIGHT. I HAD A NOTION IT WAS GABRIEL
ROSSETTI, OR SOMETHING!"]
* * * * *