The day following that on which we shot our first gorilla was a great
and memorable day in our hunting career in Africa, for on that day we
saw no fewer than ten gorillas: two females, seven young ones--one of
which was a mere baby gorilla in its mother's arms--and a huge lone
male, or bachelor gorilla, as Peterkin called him. And of these we
killed four--three young ones, and the old bachelor. I am happy to add
that I saved the lives of the infant gorilla and its mother, as I shall
presently relate.
The portion of country through which we travelled this day was not so
thickly wooded as that through which we had passed the day before, so
that we advanced more easily, and enjoyed ourselves much as we went
along. About the middle of the day we came to a spot where there were a
number of wild vines, the leaves of which are much liked by the gorilla,
so we kept a sharp lookout for tracks.
Soon we came upon several, as well as broken branches and twigs, in
which were observed the marks of teeth, showing that our game had been
there. But we passed from the wood where these signs were discovered,
out upon an open plain of considerable extent. Here we paused,
undecided as to whether we should proceed onward or remain there to
hunt.
"I vote for advancing," said Peterkin, "for I observe that on the other
side of this plain the wood seems very dense, and it is probable that we
may find Mister Gorilla there.--What think you, Mak?"
The guide nodded in reply.
"I move," said Jack, "that as the country just where we stand is well
watered by this little brook, besides being picturesque and beautiful to
look upon, we should encamp where we are, and leaving our men to guard
the camp, cross this plain--we three take Mak along with us, and spend
the remainder of the day in hunting."
"I vote for the amendment," said I.
"Then the amendment carries," cried Jack, "for in all civilised
societies most votes always carry; and although we happen to be in an
uncivilised region of the earth, we must not forget that we are
civilised hunters. The vote of two hunters ought certainly to override
that of one hunter."
Peterkin demurred to this at once, on the ground that it was unfair.
"How so?" said I.
"In the first place," replied he, looking uncommonly wise, and placing
the point of his right finger in the palm of his left hand--"in the
first place, I do not admit your premises, and therefore I object to
your conclusion. I do not admit that in civilised societies most votes
carry; on the contrary, it too frequently happens that, in civilised
societies, motions are made, seconded, discussed, and carried without
being put to the vote at all; often they are carried without being made,
seconded, or discussed--as when a bottle-nosed old gentleman in office
chooses to ignore the rights of men, and carry everything his own way.
Neither do I admit that we three are civilised hunters; for although it
is true that I am, it is well-known that you, Ralph, are a philosopher,
and Jack is a gorilla. Therefore I object to your conclusion that your
two votes should carry; for you cannot but admit that the vote of one
hunter ought to override that of two such creatures, which would not be
the case were there an equality existing between us."
"Peterkin," said I, "there is fallacy in your reasoning."
"Can you show it?" said he.
"No; the web is too much ravelled to disentangle."
"Not at all," cried Jack; "I can unravel it in a minute, and settle the
whole question by proving that there does exist an equality between us;
for it is well-known, and generally admitted by all his friends, and
must be acknowledged by himself, that Peterkin is an ass."
"Even admitting that," rejoined Peterkin, "it still remains to be proved
that a philosopher, a gorilla, and an ass are equal. Of course I
believe the latter to be superior to both the former animals; but in
consideration of the lateness of the hour, and the able manner in which
you have discussed this subject, I beg to withdraw my motion, and to
state that I am ready to accompany you over the plain as soon as you
please."
At this point our conversation was interrupted by the shriek of a small
monkey, which had been sitting all the time among the branches of the
tree beneath which we stood.
"I declare it has been listening to us," cried Peterkin.
"Yes, and is shouting in triumph at your defeat," added Jack.
As he spoke, Makarooroo fired, and the monkey fell to the ground almost
at our feet.
"Alas! it has paid a heavy price for its laugh," said Peterkin, in a
tone of sadness.
The poor thing was mortally wounded; so much so that it could not even
cry. It looked up with a very piteous expression in our faces. Placing
its hand on its side, it coughed once or twice, then lying down on its
back and stretching itself out quite straight, it closed its eyes and
died.
I never could bear to shoot monkeys. There was something so terribly
human-like in their sufferings, that I never could witness the death of
one without feeling an almost irresistible inclination to weep.
Sometimes, when short of provisions, I was compelled to shoot monkeys,
but I did so as seldom as possible, and once I resolved to go supperless
to bed rather than shoot one whose aspect was so sad and gentle that I
had not the heart to kill it. My companions felt as I did in this
matter, and we endeavoured to restrain Makarooroo as much as possible;
but he could not understand our feelings, and when he got a chance of a
shot, almost invariably forgot our injunctions to let monkeys alone
unless we were absolutely ill off for food. To do him justice, however,
I must add that we were at this particular time not overburdened with
provisions, and the men were much pleased to have the prospect of a
roast monkey for supper.
Having given our men a little tobacco, a gift which caused their black
faces to beam with delight, we shouldered our rifles and set off across
the plain towards the thick wood, which was not more than five miles
distant, if so much.
It was a beautiful scene, this plain with its clumps of trees scattered
over it like islands in a lake, and its profusion of wild flowers. The
weather, too, was delightful--cooler than usual--and there was a
freshness in the air which caused us to feel light of heart, while the
comparative shortness of the grass enabled us to proceed on our way with
light steps. As we walked along for some time in silence, I thought
upon the goodness and the provident care of the Creator of our world;
for during my brief sojourn in Africa I had observed many instances of
the wonderful exactness with which things in nature were suited to the
circumstances in which they were placed, and the bountiful provision
that was made everywhere for man and beast. Yet I must confess I could
not help wondering, and felt very much perplexed, when I thought of the
beautiful scenes in the midst of which I moved being inhabited only by
savage men, who seemed scarcely to appreciate the blessings by which
they were surrounded, and who violated constantly all the laws of Him by
whom they were created. My meditations were interrupted by Jack
saying--
"I cannot help wondering why that poor monkey kept so still all the time
we were talking. One would think that it should have been frightened
away just as we came under the tree."
"I have no doubt," said I, "that although of course it could not
understand what we said, yet it was listening to us."
"I'm not so certain that it did not understand," observed Peterkin.
"You know that sailors believe that monkeys could speak if they chose,
but they don't for fear that they should be made to work!"
"Well, whatever truth there may be in that, of this I am certain, they
are the most deceptive creatures that exist."
"I don't agree with you," rejoined Peterkin. "It's my opinion that
little boys are the greatest deceivers living."
"What! _all_ little boys!" exclaimed Jack.
"No, not all. I have not so bad an opinion of the race as that. I've
had a good deal to do with boys during my naval career, and among the
middies of her Majesty's navy I have met with as fine little chaps as
one would wish to see--regular bricks, afraid of nothing (except of
doing anything that would be thought sneaking or shabby), ready to dare
anything--to attack a seventy-four single-handed in a punt or a bumboat
if need be; nevertheless, I've met boys, and a good many of them too,
who would beat all the monkeys in Africa at sneaking and deceiving. I
remember one rascal, who went to the same school with me, who was a
wonderfully plausible deceiver. I can't help laughing yet when I think
of the curious way he took to free himself of the restraint of school."
"How was it?" cried Jack; "tell us about it--do."
"Well, you must know," began Peterkin, "that this boy was what Jack tars
would call a `great, stupid, lubberly fellow.' He was a very
fair-haired, white eyelashed sort of chap, that seemed to grow at such a
rate that he was always too big for his clothes, and showed an unusual
amount of wrist and ankle even for a boy. Most people who met him
thought him a very stupid boy at first; but those who came to know him
well found that he was rather a sharp, clever fellow, but a remarkably
shy dog. We called him Doddle.
"His mother was a widow, and he was an only son, and had been spoiled,
of course, so that he was not put to school till he was nearly twelve
years of age. He had been at several schools before coming to ours, but
had been deemed by each successive schoolmaster a hopeless imbecile.
And he was so mischievous that they advised his poor mother to take him
away and try if she could not instil a little knowledge into him
herself. The old lady was a meek, simple body, and quite as stupid as
her hopeful son appeared to be. Hearing that our master was a sharp
fellow, and somewhat noted as a good manager of obstreperous boys, she
brought him to our school as a last resource, and having introduced him
to the master, went her way.
"It was near the end of play-hour when she brought him, so he was turned
out into the playground, and stood there looking like a mongrel cur
turned unexpectedly into a kennel of pointers.
"`Well, Doddle,' said one of the sixth-form boys, going up to him and
addressing him for the first time by the name which stuck to him ever
after, `where did _you_ grow; and who cut you down and tossed you in
here?'
"`Eh?' said Doddle, looking sheepish.
"`What's your name, man, and where did you come from, and how old are
you, and how far can you jump without a race? and in fact I want to know
all about you.'
"`My name's Tommy Thompson,' replied the boy, `and I--'
"At that moment the bell rang, and the remainder of his sentence was
drowned in the rush of the rest of us to the classroom.
"When all was quiet the master called Doddle up, and said, `Well,
Thompson, my boy, your mother tells me you have learned a little grammar
and a little arithmetic. I hope that we shall instil into you a good
deal of those branches of learning, and of many others besides, ere
long. Let me hear what you can do.'
"`I can play hockey and dumps,' began Doddle, in a sing-song tone, and
with the most uncommonly innocent expression of visage; `an' I can--'
"`Stay, boy,' interrupted the master, smiling; `I do not want to know
what you can _play_ at. Keep silence until I put a few questions to
you. What is English grammar?'
"`Eh?'
"`Don't say "Eh!" When you fail to understand me, say "Sir?"
interrogatively. What is English grammar?'
"`It's a book.'
"The master looked over the top of his spectacles at Doddle in surprise.
"`English grammar,' said he, slowly, and with a slight touch of
sternness, `is indeed contained in a book; but I wish to know what it
teaches.'
"`Eh?--a--I mean sir interrogatively.'
"`What does English grammar _teach_, boy?' cried the master angrily.
"Doddle laid hold of his chin with his right hand, and looked down at
the floor with an air of profound thought, saying slowly, in an
undertone to himself, `What--does--English--grammar--teach--teach--
grammar--teach? It--teaches--a--I don't know _what_ it teaches.
Perhaps you can tell me, sir?'
"He looked up, and uttered the last sentence with such an air of blank
humility that we all had to cram our pocket handkerchiefs into our
mouths to prevent a universal explosion. The master looked over his
spectacles again at Doddle with an expression of unutterable amazement.
We looked on with breathless interest, not unmingled with awe, for we
expected some awful outbreak on the part of the master, who seemed quite
unable to make up his mind what to do or say, but continued to stare for
nearly a minute at the boy, who replied to the stare with a humble,
idiotic smile.
"Suddenly the master said sharply, `How much are seven times nine?'
"`Five hundred and forty-two and a half,' answered Doddle, without a
moment's hesitation.
"The master did not look surprised this time, but he took Doddle by the
shoulder, and drawing him towards his chair, looked earnestly into his
face. Then he said quietly, `That will do, Thompson; go to your seat.'
"This was all that occurred at that time. During a whole week the
master tried by every means to get Doddle to learn something; but Doddle
could learn nothing. Yet he seemed to try. He pored over his book, and
muttered with his lips, and sometimes looked anxiously up at the
ceiling, with an expression of agony on his face that seemed to indicate
a tremendous mental effort. Every species of inducement was tried, and
occasionally punishment was resorted to. He was kept in at play-hours,
and put in a corner during school-hours; and once, the master having
lost patience with him, he was flogged. But it was all one to Doddle.
All the methods tried proved utterly unavailing. He could not be got to
acquire a single lesson, and often gave such remarkable answers that we
all believed him to be mad.
"On the Monday forenoon of his second week at the school, the master
called him up again for examination.
"`Now, Thompson,' he began, `you have been a long time over that lesson;
let us see how much of it you have learned. What is etymology?'
"`Etymology,' answered Doddle, `is--is--an irregular pronoun.'
"`Boy!' cried the master sternly.
"`Please, sir,' pleaded Doddle, with deprecatory air, `I--I suppose I
was thinkin' o' one o' the _other_ mologies, not the etty one.'
"`Ha!' ejaculated the master; `well, tell me, how many parts of speech
are there?'
"`Nineteen,' answered the boy, quite confidently.
"`Oh!' exclaimed the master, with a good deal of sarcasm in his tone;
`pray, name them.'
"In a very sing-song voice, and with an air of anxious simplicity,
Doddle began, `Article, noun, adjective, pronoun, verb, adverb,
preposition, conjunction, interjection, outerjection, beginning with
_ies_ in the plural--as, baby, babies; lady, ladies; hady, hadies.
Please, sir, isn't that last one a _bad_ word?'
"`The boy is a lunatic!' muttered the master.
"The boys in the class were far past laughing now; we were absolutely
stunned. The master seemed perplexed, for Doddle was gazing at him with
a look of mild self-satisfaction.
"`I say, Peterkin,' whispered the boy next to me, `as sure as you're
alive that boy's shamming stupid.'
"Presently the master, who had been turning over the leaves of the
grammar in a way that showed he was not conscious of what he was about,
looked up, and said abruptly, `What is a proper noun?'
"`A well-behaved one,' replied Doddle.
"At this the whole school tittered violently.
"`Silence, boys,' cried the master, in a tone that produced the desired
effect so thoroughly that you might have heard a pin drop. Then laying
his hand on Doddle's shoulder, he looked him full in the face, and said
solemnly, `Thompson, _I have found you out_. Go, sir, to your seat, and
remain behind when the other boys go to the playground.'
"We observed that Doddle grew very red in the face as he came back to
his seat, and during the rest of the hour he never once looked up.
"During the whole of the play-hour the master and he remained shut up
together in the schoolroom. We never discovered what took place there
between them, for neither threats nor coaxing could induce Doddle
afterwards to speak on the subject; but from that day forward he was a
changed boy. He not only learned his lessons, but he learned them well,
and in the course of time became one of the best scholars in the school;
so that although he never would admit it, we all came to the conclusion
he had been shamming stupid--attempting to deceive the master into the
belief that he was incurable, and thus manage to get rid of lessons and
school altogether."
"A most remarkable boy," observed Jack when Peterkin concluded.
"Certainly he beat the monkeys hollow."
"I wonder," said I, "what the master said or did to him that wrought
such a mighty change."
"Don't know," replied Peterkin; "I suppose he told him that now he had
found him out, he would flay him alive if he didn't give in, or
something of that sort."
We had now entered the dark forest that edged the plain over which we
had been walking, and further conversation on this subject was stopped,
and the subject itself banished utterly from our minds by the loud,
startling cry of a gorilla at no great distance from us.
"Hist! that's him," whispered Peterkin.
Instantly throwing our rifles into a position of readiness we pushed
rapidly through the underwood in the direction whence the cry had come.