The affair of the pressgang gave great concern to all of the council; for
it was thought that the loyalty of the burgh would be called in question,
and doubted by the king's ministers, notwithstanding our many assurances
to the contrary; the which sense and apprehension begat among us an
inordinate anxiety to manifest our principles on all expedient occasions.
In the doing of this, divers curious and comical things came to pass; but
the most comical of all was what happened at the Michaelmas dinner
following the riot.
The weather, for some days before, had been raw for that time of the
year, and Michaelmas-day was, both for wind and wet and cold, past
ordinar; in so much that we were obligated to have a large fire in the
council-chamber, where we dined. Round this fire, after drinking his
majesty's health and the other appropriate toasts, we were sitting as
cozy as could be; and every one the longer he sat, and the oftener his
glass visited the punch-bowl, waxed more and more royal, till everybody
was in a most hilarious temperament, singing songs and joining chorus
with the greatest cordiality.
It happened, among others of the company, there was a gash old carl, the
laird of Bodletonbrae, who was a very capital hand at a joke; and he,
chancing to notice that the whole of the magistrates and town-council
then present wore wigs, feigned to become out of all bounds with the
demonstrations of his devotion to king and country; and others that were
there, not wishing to appear any thing behind him in the same, vied in
their sprose of patriotism, and bragging in a manful manner of what, in
the hour of trial, they would be seen to do. Bodletonbrae was all the
time laughing in his sleeve at the way he was working them on, till at
last, after they had flung the glasses twice or thrice over their
shoulders, he proposed we should throw our wigs in the fire next. Surely
there was some glammer about us that caused us not to observe his
devilry, for the laird had no wig on his head. Be that, however, as it
may, the instigation took effect, and in the twinkling of an eye every
scalp was bare, and the chimley roaring with the roasting of gude kens
how many powdered wigs well fattened with pomatum. But scarcely was the
deed done, till every one was admonished of his folly, by the laird
laughing, like a being out of his senses, at the number of bald heads and
shaven crowns that his device had brought to light, and by one and all of
us experiencing the coldness of the air on the nakedness of our upper
parts.
The first thing that we then did was to send the town-officers, who were
waiting on as usual for the dribbles of the bottles and the leavings in
the bowls, to bring our nightcaps, but I trow few were so lucky as me,
for I had a spare wig at home, which Mrs Pawkie, my wife, a most
considerate woman, sent to me; so that I was, in a manner, to all
visibility, none the worse of the ploy; but the rest of the council were
perfect oddities within their wigs, and the sorest thing of all was, that
the exploit of burning the wigs had got wind; so that, when we left the
council-room, there was a great congregation of funny weans and misleart
trades' lads assembled before the tolbooth, shouting, and like as if they
were out of the body with daffing, to see so many of the heads of the
town in their night-caps, and no, maybe, just so solid at the time as
could have been wished. Nor did the matter rest here; for the generality
of the sufferers being in a public way, were obligated to appear the next
day in their shops, and at their callings, with their nightcaps--for few
of them had two wigs like me--by which no small merriment ensued, and was
continued for many a day. It would hardly, however, be supposed, that in
such a matter anything could have redounded to my advantage; but so it
fell out, that by my wife's prudence in sending me my other wig, it was
observed by the commonality, when we sallied forth to go home, that I had
on my wig, and it was thought I had a very meritorious command of myself,
and was the only man in the town fit for a magistrate; for in everything
I was seen to be most cautious and considerate. I could not, however,
when I saw the turn the affair took to my advantage, but reflect on what
small and visionary grounds the popularity of public men will sometimes
rest.