Another old stage friend is the detected plotter trying to lie out of an
embarrassing situation. He is lineally descended from Tranio in the
_Most._ Tranio has just induced his master Theopropides to pay forty minae
to the money-lender on the pretext that Theopropides' son Philolaches has
bought a house (659 ff.):
"TH. In what neighborhood did my son buy this house?
TR. (_Aside to audience in comic despair, with appropriate gesture._) See
there now! I'm a goner!
TH. (_Impatiently._) Will you answer my question?
TR. Oh yes, but (_Stammering and displaying symptoms of acute
embarrassment_) I--I'm trying to think of the owner's name. (_Groans._)
TH. Well, hurry up and remember it!
TR. (_Rapidly, aside._) I can't see anything better to do than tell him
his son bought the house of our next-door neighbor here. (_With a shrug._)
Thunder, I've heard that a _steaming_ lie is the best kind.
(_Mock-heroically._) 'Tis the will of the gods, my mind's made up.
TH. (_Who has been frowning and stamping in impatience._) Well, well,
well! Haven't you thought of it yet?
TR. (_Aside._) Curses on him!... (_Finally turning and bursting out
suddenly._) It's our next-door neighbor here--your son bought the house
from him. (_He sees that the lie goes and sighs with relief._)"[120]
Another variation on this theme is the futile effort of the plotter to get
rid of a character armed with incriminating evidence. Again we quote
_Most._ (573 ff.), where Tranio is conversing with Theopropides. The
money-lender from whom young Philolaches has borrowed appears on the other
side of the stage. Tranio espies him. He must keep him away from the old
man. With a hurried excuse he flies across to meet Misargyrides.
"TR. (_Taking Misargyrides' arm and attempting to steer him off-stage._) I
was never so glad to see a man in my life.
MIS. (_Suspiciously, holding back._) What's the matter?
TR. (_Confidentially._) Just step this way. (_Looks back apprehensively at
Theopropides, who is regarding them suspiciously._)
MIS. (_In a loud and offensive voice._) Won't my interest be paid?
TR. I know you have a good voice; don't shout so loud.
MIS. (_Louder._) Hang it, but I _will_ shout!
TR. (_Groans and glances over shoulder again._) Run along home, there's a
good fellow. (_Urges him toward exit._)", etc.
Tranio has a chance for very lively business: a sickly smile for the
usurer, lightning glances of apprehension towards Theopropides, with an
occasional intimate groan aside to the audience. Other farcical scenes of
the many that may be cited as calling for particularly vivacious business
and gesture are, e.g., _Cas._ 621 ff., where Pardalisca befools Lysidamus
by timely fainting, _Rud._ 414 ff., where Sceparnio flirts with Ampelisca,
and the quarrel scene, _Rud._ 485 ff.[121]
The last four passages quoted in translation are by no means lacking in
artistic humor and a measure of reality, but they imply a pronounced
heightening of the actions and emotions of everyday life and lose their
humor unless presented in the broad spirit that stamps them as belonging
to the plane of farce. We now pass on to motives where the dialogue aims
at effects manifestly unnatural and where verisimilitude is sacrificed to
the joke, as we have seen it is in the employment of "bombast," "true
burlesque," etc.
The first of these motives is a stream of copious abuse, as in _Per._ 406
ff., where Toxilus _servos_ and Dordalus _leno_ exchange Rabelaisian
compliments.
"TOX. (_Hopping about with rabid gestures._) You filthy pimp, you
mud-heap, you common dung-hill, you besmirched, corrupt, law-breaking
decoy, you public sewer, ... robber, mobber, jobber, ...!
DOR. (_Who has been dancing around in fury, shaking his fist until
exhausted by his paroxysms._) Wait--till--(_Puffing_)--I--get--my
breath--I'll--answer you! You dregs of the rabble, you slave-brothel, you
'white-slave' freer, you sweat-of-the-lash, you chain gang, you king of
the treadmill, ... you eat-away, steal-away run-away....!" etc.[122]
Perhaps we have here the forerunner of the shrewish wife in modern
vaudeville, who administers to her shrinking consort a rapid-fire
tongue-lashing. Another phase of this profuse riot of words appears in the
formidable Persian name that Sagaristio, disguised as a Persian, adopts in
the _Per._ (700 ff.):
"DORDALUS. What's your name?
SAG. Listen then, and you shall hear: False-speaker-us Girl-seller-son
Much-o'-nothing-talk-son Money-gouge-out-son Talk-up-to you-son
Coin-wheedle-out-son What-I-once-get-son Never-give-up-son: there you are!
DOR. (_With staring eyes and gasping breath._) Ye Gods! That's a
variegated name of yours!