[1] _Air_—“Silver Threads among the Gold.”
[2] The words, “Till ’ee gits it he’s coal as a cokeumber,” are
interpolated in the MSS.; but doubts of their authenticity, and fears of
ruptured sides in the case of those who might think a joke was intended,
make it prudent to delete them.—ED.
[3] This pig must have been north of the Tweed, to forget his Tees
thus.—ED.
[4] _Air_—“Johnny come marching home.”
[5] It is perhaps not generally known that before troops march forth to
victory, they are first routed by the Quartermaster—General’s Department.
Should the reader think this a joke, he will probably say it is a very
poor one; but if he will take the trouble to ask any of his military
friends, he will find that they think it anything but a joke that they
get routed so often.—ED.
[6] In fun, of course. These boys had learned what all boys should learn,
never to get angry at being laughed at.
[7] Perhaps the small reader does not understand. Let him wait till he
begins Greek.
[8] If any one, with a mind not delivered from the bondage of mere
vulgar arithmetic, should object that two 2’s make 4, and not 5, we
have only to say that we don’t care a fraction, and refuse to alter our
addition for any such common multiple of a fellow. If any other spelling
B-ound individual should say that “toos” is not according to English
orthography, we beg to remind him that Eng means narrow, and we prefer to
go in for all abroad in such matters; and this being a book of fun, we
adopt the funnytick mode.
[9] If anybody should think, on reading this, that the statement is
superfluous, because all men come to a stop at their feet, he will please
remember that men often have more sole under their feet than anywhere
else: in fact, they are so fond of fishy and slippery ways that they
always go upon soles and eels; and some of them are so fast, that so
far from stopping at their feet, they go such lengths that they stop at
nothing.
[10] In the original MS., this word was written proboscition by the
author in his innocence.—ED.
[11] Boys should take this as one of their mottoes—“No bills or
promissory notes for us.” There are too many sharps ready to press them
on young naturals and flats, and they very often end in harsh keys and
gloomy bars.—ED.
[12] _Air_—“I’ll strike you with a feather.”