“What branches do you teach?”
[Sidenote: THE MODERN SCHOOL.]
“Oh, all kinds,” answered the boy. “Growing branches, green branches,
lopped branches, rotten branches, branches of the service, railway
branches, railway switches, courteous boughs, sprigs of nobility, and
many others. Do you twig?”
“But what things do you teach?”
“We don’t teach them at all. Putting pupils up to a thing or two is not
approved of.”
“But I mean what is your division of subjects?”
“We don’t cut up subjects here; we have no anatomical class.”
“But,” said Norval, who had seen an education report in a newspaper, “do
you follow any standard in your teaching?”
“No, there’s no flagging with us. We try to keep in advance in our
training; we go in for the truck system, so as to keep in the van.”
They were now entering one of the class-rooms, so that Norval’s
questioning was brought to a close, leaving him quite as wise as he was
before, for which it is to be hoped he was sufficiently grateful.
[Sidenote: FRICASSEE.]
The grammar lesson was going on, and in the course of a few minutes they
had illustrations of various moods—dull moods, sulky moods, cheerful
moods, rude moods, and good moods. They also learned a new point in
grammar—that there are an indefinite number of cases. Norval objected
when this was stated; but the teacher, who had a dominiering look, though
an M A ciated Fellow, met his objection at once.
“Beg pardon, sir; we do not in our modern school submit to the teaching
of old-fashioned grammars. We stick to facts, sir—to facts. Thomas, prove
to the gentleman that there are more cases than are stated in the old
grammars.”
Thomas, who went by the nickname of Soft Tommy—being bred though not born
a duffer—tried to look crusty, and did not rise.
“Case No. 1, a case of obstinacy,” said the teacher, with a grand air.
“Then there are sad cases, strong cases, long cases, card-cases, cases
of conscience, cases of instruments, cases of divorce, dressing-cases,
hard cases, puzzling cases, pencil-cases, cases of brandy, cases of
collision, packing-cases, caucases, ukases, ca-sas——”
[Sidenote: VIRUMQUE CANO.]
How long he might have gone on nobody can tell; but the small boy that
acted as conductor, seizing a cane, began belabouring the teacher with
it most vigorously. The master seemed to take this quite as a matter of
course (as indeed the class did also), and calmly brought his speech to a
close, saying, in a voice broken by sobs, “and lastly, for the present, a
case of discipline.”
[Illustration]