SCENE.--_The Commercial Room in an old-fashioned hotel in a small
country town. An air of old-fashioned comfort is in evidence everywhere.
Old sporting prints on the walls._
_On the table up C. are half a dozen candlesticks, old-fashioned shape
with snuffer attached. Two pairs of carpet slippers are set up within
fender. Red curtains to window recess. Shutters or blinds to windows.
Armchair and about six other chairs in the room. One old-fashioned
settle. One small table. Clock. Decanter of water, half a dozen toddy
tumblers. Matches, etc. The only light is a ruddy glow from the fire.
Kettle on hob. Moonlight from R. of window when shutter is opened.
Practical chandelier from ceiling or lights at side of mantelpiece.
DOCTOR'S coat and muffler on chair up L., his cap on mantelpiece._
_All lights out, dark stage. Opening music. Curtain rise--ticking of
clock heard. Wind, then church clock chimes, the Lights come very slowly
up, when the red glow is seen in the fireplace the low murmurs of the
characters heard, and gradually get louder as lights come up to when
SOMERS' voice tops all._
(_The stage occupied by all characters except GEORGE the waiter.
Discovered, PENFOLD, sitting in arm chair L. of fire, above it. DOCTOR
LEEK standing above fire and leaning on mantel-shelf. HIRST sitting on
settle below fire and nearest to audience. SOMERS seated on settle with
him but above him. MALCOLM and BELDON on chairs R. C., facing fire. ALL
are smoking, and drink from their respective glasses from time to time.
SOMERS has just finished a story as Curtain rises._)
OMNES. Oh, I say, that sounds impossible, etc.
SOMERS. Haunted or not haunted, the fact remains that no one stays in
the house long. It's been let to several tenants since the time of the
murder, but they never completed their tenancy. The last tenant held out
for a month, but at last he gave up like the rest, and cleared out,
although he had done the place up thoroughly, and must have been pounds
out of pocket by the transaction.
MALCOLM. Well, it's a capital ghost story, I admit, that is, as a story,
but I for one can't swallow it.
HIRST. I don't know, it is not nearly so improbable as some I have
heard. Of course it's an old idea that spirits like to get into the
company of human beings. A man told me once, that he travelled down by
the Great Western, with a ghost as fellow passenger, and hadn't the
slightest suspicion of it, until the inspector came for tickets. My
friend said, the way that ghost tried to keep up appearances, by feeling
in all its pockets, and even looking on the floor for its ticket, was
quite touching. Ultimately it gave it up, and with a loud groan vanished
through the ventilator.
(_SOMERS, MALCOLM and LEEK laugh heartily._)
BELDON. Oh, I say come now, that'll do.
PENFOLD (_seriously_). Personally I don't think it's a subject for
jesting. I have never seen an apparition myself, but I have known people
who have, and I consider that they form a very interesting link between
us and the after life. There's a ghost story connected with this house,
you know.
OMNES. Eh! Oh? Really!
MALCOLM (_rising and going to mantelpiece, takes up his glass of
toddy_). Well, I have used this house for some years now. I travel for
Blennet and Burgess--wool--and come here regularly three times a year,
and I've never heard of it. (_Sits down again on his chair, holding
glass in his hand._)
LEEK. And I've been here pretty often too, though I have only been in
practice here for a couple of years, and I have never heard it
mentioned, and I must say I don't believe in anything of the sort. In my
opinion ghosts are the invention of weak-minded idiots.
PENFOLD. Weak-minded idiots or not, there is a ghost story connected
with this house, but it dates a long time back.
(_GEORGE, the waiter, enters D. L. with tray and serviette._)
Oh, here's George, he'll bear me out. You've heard of Jerry Bundler,
George?
GEORGE (_C._). Well, I've just 'eard odds and ends, sir, but I never put
much count to 'em. There was one chap 'ere, who was under me when fust I
come, he said he seed it, and the Guv'nor sacked him there and then.
(_Goes to table by window, puts tray down, takes up glass and wipes it
slowly._)
(_MEN laugh._)
PENFOLD. Well, my father was a native of this town, and he knew the
story well. He was a truthful man and a steady churchgoer. But I have
heard him declare that once in his life he saw the ghost of Jerry
Bundler in this house; let me see, George, you don't remember my old
dad, do you?
(_GEORGE puts down glasses over table._)
GEORGE. No, sir. I come here forty years ago next Easter, but I fancy he
was before my time.
PENFOLD. Yes, though not by long. He died when I was twenty, and I shall
be sixty-two next month, but that's neither here nor there.
(_GEORGE goes up to table C. tidying up and listening._)
LEEK. Who was this Jerry Bundler?
PENFOLD. A London thief, pickpocket, highwayman--anything he could turn
his dishonest hand to, and he was run to earth in this house some eighty
years ago.
(_GEORGE puts glass down and stands listening._)
He took his last supper in this room.
(_PENFOLD leans forward. BELDON looks round to L. nervously._)
That night soon after he had gone to bed, a couple of Bow Street
runners, the predecessors of our present detective force turned up here.
They had followed him from London, but had lost scent a bit, so didn't
arrive till late. A word to the landlord, whose description of the
stranger who had retired to rest, pointed to the fact that he was the
man they were after, of course enlisted his aid and that of the male
servants and stable hands. The officers crept quietly up to Jerry's
bedroom and tried the door, it wouldn't budge. It was of heavy oak and
bolted from within.
(_OMNES lean forward, showing interest._)
Leaving his comrade and a couple of grooms to guard the bedroom door,
the other officer went into the yard, and, procuring a short ladder, by
this means reached the window of the room in which Jerry was sleeping.
The Inn servants and stable hands saw him get on to the sill and try to
open the window. Suddenly there was a crash of glass, and with a cry, he
fell in a heap on to the stones at their feet. Then in the moonlight,
they saw the face of the highwayman peering over the sill.
(_OMNES move uneasily._)
They sent for the blacksmith, and with his sledge-hammer he battered in
the strong oak panels, and the first thing that met their eyes was the
body of Jerry Bundler dangling from the top of the four-post bed by his
own handkerchief.
(_OMNES sit back, draw their breath, and are generally uneasy. Slight
pause._)
SOMERS. I say, which bedroom was it? (_Earnestly_).
PENFOLD. That I can't tell you, but the story goes that Jerry still
haunts this house, and my father used to declare positively that the
last time he slept here, the ghost of Jerry Bundler lowered itself from
the top of his four-post bed and tried to strangle him.
BELDON (_jumps up, gets behind his chair, twists chair round;
nervously_). O, I say, that'll do. I wish you'd thought to ask your
father which bedroom it was.
PENFOLD. What for?
BELDON. Well, I should take jolly good care not to sleep in it, that's
all. (_Goes to back._)
(_PENFOLD rising, goes to fire, and knocks out his pipe, Leek gets by
arm-chair._)
PENFOLD. There's nothing to fear. I don't believe for a moment that
ghosts could really hurt one. (_GEORGE lights candle at table._) In
fact, my father used to say that it was only the unpleasantness of the
thing that upset him, and that, for all practical purposes, Jerry's
fingers might have been made of cotton wool for all the harm they could
do.
(_GEORGE hands candle, gets to door and holds it open._)
BELDON. That's all very fine, a ghost story is a ghost story, but when a
gentleman tells a tale of a ghost that haunts the house in which one is
going to sleep, I call it most ungentlemanly.
(_BELDON places his chair to L. of table R. PENFOLD goes up to C. LEEK
sits in arm chair. BELDON goes to fireplace._)
PENFOLD. Pooh! Nonsense. (_At table up C._).
(_During his speech George lights one of the candles._)
Ghosts can't hurt you. For my own part, I should rather like to see one.
OMNES. Oh, come now---- etc.
PENFOLD. Well, I'll bid you good-night, gentlemen.
(_He goes towards door L. GEORGE opens it for him; he passes out as they
all say._)
OMNES. Good-night.
(_HIRST rises, crosses to L. C._)
BELDON (_up R., calling after him_). And I hope Jerry'll pay you a
visit.
MALCOLM (_rises, goes to fire_). Well, I'm going to have another whisky
if you gentlemen will join me. I think it'll do us all good after that
tale. George, take the orders.
(_GEORGE comes down with salver to table R., gathers up glasses._)
SOMERS. Not quite so much hot water in mine.
MALCOLM. I'll have the same again, George.
BELDON. A leetle bit of lemon in mine, George.
LEEK. Whisky and soda for me, please.
HIRST. Whisky!
(_GEORGE goes to table R., collects glasses, crosses to door L.
speaks._)