CHAPTER XLII

It was not until dawn that the full extent of the disaster was revealed.

All night, by the flames from the sheds in the yard, which were of wood

and still burning, rescue parties had worked frantically. Two of the

long buildings, nearest to the fuse department, had collapsed entirely.

Above the piles of fallen masonry might be seen, here and there, the

black mass of some machine or lathe, and it was there the search parties

were laboring. Luckily the fuse department had not gone double turn, and

the night shift in the machine-shop was not a full one.

The fuse department was a roaring furnace, and repeated calls had

brought in most of the fire companies of the city. Running back and

forth in the light of the flames were the firemen and such volunteer

rescuers as had been allowed through the police cordon. Outside that

line of ropes and men were gathered a tragic crowd, begging, imploring

to be allowed through to search for some beloved body. Now and then

a fresh explosion made the mob recoil, only to press close again,

importuning, tragic, hopeless.

The casualty list ran high. All night long ambulances stood in a row

along the street, backed up to the curb and waiting, and ever so often a

silent group, in broken step, carried out some quiet covered thing that

would never move again.

With the dawn Graham found his father. He had thrown off his coat and in

his shirt-sleeves was, with other rescuers, digging in the ruins. Graham

himself had been working. He was nauseated, weary, and unutterably

wretched, for he had seen the night superintendent and had heard of his

father's message.

“Klein!” he said. “You don't mean Herman Klein?”

“That was what he said. I was to find him and hold him until he got

here. But I couldn't find him. He may have got out. There's no way of

telling now.”

Waves of fresh nausea swept over Graham. He sat down on a pile of bricks

and wiped his forehead, clammy with sweat.

“I hope to God he was burned alive,” muttered the other man, surveying

the scene. His eyes were reddened with smoke from the fire, his clothing

torn.

“I was knocked down myself,” he said. “I was out in the yard looking for

Klein, and I guess I lay there quite a while. If I hadn't gone out?” He

shrugged his shoulders.

“How many women were on the night shift?”

“Not a lot. Twenty, perhaps. If I had my way I'd take every German in

the country and boil 'em in oil. I didn't want Klein back, but he was a

good workman. Well, he's done a good job now.”

It was after that that Graham saw his father, a strange, wild-eyed

Clayton who drove his pick with a sort of mad strength, and at the same

time gave orders in an unfamiliar voice. Graham, himself a disordered

figure, watched him for a moment. He was divided between fear and

resolution. Some place in that debacle there lay his own responsibility.

He was still bewildered, but the fact that Anna's father had done the

thing was ominous.

The urge to confession was stronger than his fears. Somehow, during the

night, he had become a man. But now he only felt, that somehow, during

the night, he had become a murderer.

Clayton looked up, and he moved toward him.

“Yes?”

“I've had some coffee made at a house down the street. Won't you come

and have it?”

Clayton straightened. He was very tired, and the yard was full of

volunteers now, each provided at the gate with a pick or shovel. A look

at the boy's face decided him.

“I'll come,” he said, and turned his pick over to a man beside him. He

joined Graham, and for a moment he looked into the boy's eyes. Then he

put a hand on his shoulder, and together they walked out, past the line

of ambulances, into a street where the scattered houses showed not a

single unshattered window, and the pavements were littered with glass.

His father's touch comforted the boy, but it made even harder the thing

he had to do. For he could not go through life with this thing on his

soul. There had been a moment, after he learned of Herman's implication,

when he felt the best thing would be to kill himself, but he had put

that aside. It was too easy. If Herman Klein had done this thing because

of Anna and himself, then he was a murderer. If he had done it because

he was a German, then he--Graham--had no right to die. He would live to

make as many Germans as possible pay for this night's work.

“I've got something to tell you, father,” he said, as they paused before

the house where the coffee was ready. Clayton nodded, and together they

went inside. Even this house was partially destroyed. A piece of masonry

had gone through the kitchen, and standing on fallen bricks and plaster,

a cheerful old woman was cooking over a stove which had somehow escaped

destruction.

“It's bad,” she said to Graham, as she poured the coffee into cups, “but

it might have been worse, Mr. Spencer. We're all alive. And I guess I'll

understand what my boy's writing home about now. They've sure brought

the war here this night.”

Graham carried the coffee into the little parlor, where Clayton sat

dropped on a low chair, his hands between his knees. He was a strange,

disheveled figure, gray of face and weary, and the hand he held out for

the cup was blistered and blackened. Graham did not touch his coffee. He

put it on the mantel, and stood waiting while Clayton finished his.

“Shall I tell you now, sir?”

Clayton drew a long breath.

“It was Herman Klein who did it?”

“Probably. I had a warning last night, but it was too late. I should

have known, of course, but somehow I didn't. He'd been with us a long

time. I'd have sworn he was loyal.”

For the first time in his life Graham saw his father weaken, the

pitiful, ashamed weakness of a strong man. His voice broke, his face

twitched. The boy drew himself up; they couldn't both go to pieces. He

could not know that Clayton had worked all that night in that hell with

the conviction that in some way his own son was responsible; that he

knew already what Graham was about to tell him.

“If Herman Klein did it, father, it was because he was the tool of a

gang. And the reason he was a tool was because he thought I was--living

with Anna. I wasn't. I don't know why I wasn't. There was every chance.

I suppose I meant to some time. Anyhow, he thought I was.”

If he had expected any outbreak from Clayton, he met none. Clayton sat

looking ahead, and listening. Inside of the broken windows the curtains

were stirring in the fresh breeze of early morning, and in the kitchen

the old woman was piling the fallen bricks noisily.

“I had been flirting with her a little--it wasn't much more than that,

and I gave her a watch at Christmas. He found it out, and he beat her.

Awfully. She ran away and sent for me, and I met her. She had to hide

for days. Her face was all bruised. Then she got sick from it. She was

sick for weeks.”

“Did he know where she was?”

“I think not, or he'd have gone to get her. But Rudolph Klein knew

something. I took her out to dinner, to a roadhouse, a few days ago,

and she said she saw him there. I didn't. All that time, weeks, I'd

never--I'd never gone to her room. That night I did. I don't know why.

I--”

“Go on.”

“Well, I went, but I didn't stay. I couldn't. I guess she thought I was

crazy. I went away, that's all. And the next day I felt that she might

be feeling as though I'd turned her down or something. And I felt

responsible. Maybe you won't understand. I don't quite myself. Anyhow, I

went back, to let her know I wasn't quite a brute, even if---But she was

gone. I'm not trying to excuse myself. It's a rotten story, for I was

engaged to Marion then.”

Suddenly he sat down beside Clayton and buried his face in his hands.

For some reason or other Clayton found himself back in the hospital,

that night when Joey lay still and quiet, and Graham was sobbing like a

child, prostrate on the white covering of the bed. With the incredible

rapidity of thought in a mental crisis, he saw the last months, the

boy's desire to go to France thwarted, his attempt to interest himself

in the business, the tool Marion Hayden had made of him, Anna's doglike

devotion, all leading inevitably to catastrophe. And through it all

he saw Natalie, holding Graham back from war, providing him with extra

money, excusing him, using his confidences for her own ends, insidiously

sapping the boy's confidence in his father and himself.

“We'll have to stand up to this together, Graham.”

The boy looked up.

“Then--you're not going to throw me over altogether--”

“No.”

“But--all this--!”

“If Herman Klein had not done it, there were others who would, probably.

It looks as though you had provided them with a tool, but I suppose we

were vulnerable in a dozen ways.”

He rose, and they stood, eyes level, father and son, in the early

morning sunlight. And suddenly Graham's arms were around his shoulders,

and something tight around Clayton's heart relaxed. Once again, and now

for good, he had found his boy, the little boy who had not so long ago

stood on a chair for this very embrace. Only now the boy was a man.

“I'm going to France, father,” he said. “I'm going to pay them back for

this. And out of every two shots I fire one will be for you.”

Perhaps he had found his boy only to lose him, but that would have to be

as God willed.

At ten o'clock he went up to the house, to change his wet and draggled

clothing. The ruins were being guarded by soldiers, and the work of

rescue was still going on, more slowly now, since there was little or no

hope of finding any still living thing in that flame-swept wreckage. He

found Natalie in bed, with Madeleine in attendance, and he learned that

her physician had just gone.

He felt that he could not talk to her just then. She had a morbid

interest in horrors, and with the sights of that night fresh in his mind

he could not discuss them. He stopped, however, in her doorway.

“I'm glad you are resting,” he said, “Better stay in bed to-day. It's

been a shock.”

“Resting! I've been frightfully ill.”

“I'm sorry, my dear. I'll come in again on my way out.”

“Clay!”

He turned in the doorway.

“Is it all gone? Everything?”

“Practically. Yes.”

“But you were insured?”

“I'll tell you about that later. I haven't given it much thought yet. I

don't know just how we stand.”

“I shall never let Graham go back to it again. I warn you. I've been

lying here for hours, thinking that it might have happened as easily as

not while he was there.”

He hardly listened. He had just remembered Anna.

“I left a girl here last night, Natalie,” he said. “Do you happen to

know what became of her?”

Natalie stirred on her pillows.

“I should think I do. She fainted, or pretended to faint. The servants

looked after her.”

“Has she gone?”

“I hope so. It is almost noon. Oh, by the way,” she called, as he moved

off, “there is a message for you. A woman named Gould, from the Central

Hospital. She wants to see you at once. They have kept the telephone

ringing all the morning.”

Clare Gould! That was odd. He had seen her taken out, a bruised and

moaning creature, her masses of fair hair over her shoulders, her eyes

shut. The surgeons had said she was not badly hurt. She might be worse

than they thought. The mention of her name brought Audrey before him. He

hoped, wherever she was, she would know that he was all right.

As soon as he had changed he called the hospital. The message came back

promptly and clearly.

“We have a woman named Gould here. She is not badly hurt, but she is

hysterical. She wants to see you, but if you can't come at once I am to

give you a message. Wait a moment. She has written it, but it's hardly

legible.”

Clayton waited.

“It's about somebody you know, who had gone on night turn recently at

your plant. I can't read the name. It looks like Ballantine.”

“It isn't Valentine, is it?”

“Perhaps it is. It's just a scrawl. But the first name is clear

enough--Audrey.”

Afterward he did not remember hanging up the receiver, or getting out of

the house. He seemed to come to himself somewhat at the hospital, and

at the door to Clare's ward his brain suddenly cleared. He did not need

Clare's story. It seemed that he knew it all, had known it long ages

before. Her very words sounded like infinite repetitions of something he

had heard, over and over.

“She was right beside me, and I was showing her about the lathe. They'd

told me I could teach her. She was picking it up fast, too. And she

liked it. She liked it--”

The fact that Audrey had liked it broke down his scanty reserve of

restraint. Clayton found himself looking down at her from a great

distance. She was very remote. Clare pulled herself together.

“When the first explosion came it didn't touch us. But I guess she knew

it meant more. She said something about the telephone and getting

help and there'd be more, and she started to run. I just stood there,

watching her run, and waiting. And then the second one came, and--”

Suddenly Clare seemed to disappear altogether. He felt something catch

his arm, and the nurse's voice, very calm and quiet:

“Sit down. I'll get you something.”

Then he was swallowing a fluid that burned his throat, and Clare was

crying with the sheet drawn to her mouth, and somewhere Audrey--

He got up, and the nurse followed him out.

“You might look for the person here,” she suggested. “We have had

several brought in.”

He was still dazed, but he followed her docilely. Audrey was not there.

He seemed to have known that, too. That there would be a long search,

and hours of agony, and at the end--the one thing he did not know was

what was to be at the end.

All that afternoon he searched, going from hospital to hospital. And at

each one, as he stopped, that curious feeling of inner knowledge told

him she was not there. But the same instinct told him she was not dead.

He would have known it if she was dead. There was no reasoning in it. He

could not reason. But he knew, somehow.

Then, late in the afternoon, he found her. He knew that he had found

her. It was as though, at the entrance of the hospital, some sixth sense

had told him this was right at last. He was quite steady, all at once.

She was here, waiting for him to come. And now he had come, and it would

be all right.

Yet, for a time, it seemed all wrong. She was not conscious, had not

roused since she was brought it. There were white screens around her

bed, and behind them she lay alone. They had braided her hair in two

long dark braids, and there was a bandage on one of her arms. She looked

very young and very tired, but quite peaceful.

His arrival had caused a small stir of excitement, his own prominence,

the disaster with which the country was ringing. But for a few minutes,

before the doctors arrived, he was alone with her behind the screen. It

was like being alone with his dead. Bent over her, his face pressed to

one of her quiet hands, he whispered to her all the little tendernesses,

the aching want of her, that so long he had buried in his heart. Things

he could not have told her, waking, he told her then. It seemed, too,

that she must rouse to them, that she must feel him there beside her,

calling her back. But she did not move.

It was then, for the first time, that he wondered what he would do if

she should die.

The doctors, coming behind the screen, found him sitting erect and

still, staring ahead of him, with a strange expression on his face. He

had just decided that he could not, under any circumstances, live if she

died.

It was rather a good thing for Clayton's sanity that they gave him hope.

He was completely unnerved, tired and desperate. Indeed, when they came

in he had been picturing Audrey and himself, wandering hand in hand,

very quietly and contentedly, in some strange world which was his rather

hazy idea of the Beyond. It seemed to him quite sane and extraordinarily

happy.

The effort of meeting the staff roused him, and, with hope came a return

to normality. There was much to be done, special nurses, a private room,

and--rather reluctantly---friends and relatives to be notified. Only for

a few minutes, out of all of life, had she been his. He must give her up

now. Life had become one long renunciation.

He did not go home at all that night. He divided his time between the

plant and the hospital, going back and forward. Each time he found the

report good. She was still strong; no internal injuries had manifested

themselves, and the concussion would probably wear off before long. He

wanted to be there when she first opened her eyes. He was afraid

she might be frightened, and there would be a bad minute when she

remembered--if she did remember.

At midnight, going into the room, he found Mrs. Haverford beside

Audrey's bed, knitting placidly. She seemed to accept his being there

as perfectly natural, and she had no sick-room affectations. She did not

whisper, for one thing.

“The nurse thinks she is coming round, Clayton,” she said. “I waited,

because I thought she ought to see a familiar face when she does.”

Mrs. Haverford was eminently good for him. Her cheerful

matter-of-factness her competent sanity, restored his belief in a world

that had seemed only chaos and death. How much, he wondered later, had

Mrs. Haverford suspected? He had not been in any condition to act

a part. But whatever she suspected he knew was locked in her kindly

breast.

Audrey moved slightly, and he went over to her. When he glanced up again

Mrs. Haverford had gone out.

So it was that Audrey came back to him, and to him alone. She asked no

questions. She only lay quite still on her white pillows, and looked

at him. Even when he knelt beside her and drew her toward him, she said

nothing, but she lifted her uninjured hand and softly caressed his bent

head. Clayton never knew whether Mrs. Haverford had come back and seen

that or not. He did not care, for that matter. It seemed to him just

then that all the world must know what was so vitally important, so

transcendently wonderful.

Not until Audrey's eyes closed again, and he saw that she was sleeping,

did he loosen his arms from around her.

When at last he went out to the stiffly furnished hospital parlor, he

found Mrs. Haverford sitting there alone, still knitting. But he rather

thought she had been crying. There was an undeniably moist handkerchief

on her knee.

“She roused a little while ago,” he said, trying to speak quietly, and

as though Audrey's rousing were not the wonder that it was. “She seemed

very comfortable. And now she's sleeping.”

“The dear child!” said Mrs. Haverford. “If she had died, after

everything--” Her plump face quivered. “Things have never been very

happy for her, Clayton.”

“I'm afraid not.” He went to a window and stood looking out. The

city was not quiet, but its mighty roar of the day was lowered to a

monotonous, drowsy humming. From the east, reflected against low-hanging

clouds, was the dull red of his own steel mills, looking like the

reflection of a vast conflagration.

“Not very happy,” he repeated.

“Some times,” Mrs. Haverford was saying, “I wonder about things. People

go along missing the best things in life, and--I suppose there is a

reason for it, but some times I wonder if He ever meant us to go on,

crucifying our own souls.”

So she did know!

“What would you have us do?”

“I don't know. I suppose there isn't any answer.”

Afterward, Clayton found that that bit of conversation with Mrs.

Haverford took on the unreality of the rest of that twenty-four hours.

But one part of it stood out real and hopelessly true. There wasn't any

answer!

Dangerous Days · 第 42 / 50 章