(_A HINT FOR THE COMING HOLIDAYS._)
DEAR MR. PUNCH,--As we are within measurable distance of the time when
everyone will be thinking of going abroad, perhaps you will allow me
to make a practical suggestion. No doubt you will have observed that,
according to the Correspondent of the _Times_, recounting the "recent
railway outrage in Turkey," the Brigands "chose five of the most
opulent-looking of their victims, and told them that they meant to
hold them to ransom." I am not surprised at this occurrence, for
something of the same sort once happened to me. I am very well to do,
and I am fond of what I believe is vulgarly called "globe-trotting." I
do not care to be encumbered with too much luggage, and if there is a
thorn to the rose of my sweet content it is the objection that my
wife makes to my personal appearance. She will have it that a suit of
thoroughly comfortable dittos is not the proper garb for a stroll on
the Boulevards des Italiens, or a lounge on the Piazza San Marco. As
for my wide-awake, she declares (and I can assure you that I have not
had it for more than ten years) it is absolutely disgraceful!
But to my story. I have said that I myself was once attacked by
Brigands. Our train was stopped in strictly regulation fashion. I
believe the customary number of engine-drivers, stokers, and guards
were shot, or otherwise accounted for. Then the passengers were
inspected. I was rather nervous, for, truth to tell, my pockets were
lined with untold gold and notes. The Chief of the Brigands--a most
gentlemanly person--glanced at my coat with a slight shudder of pain,
and then raised his eyes to my head-gear. That seemed to satisfy him.
"Set him free!" he cried to the two ruffians who guarded me, "and
never let him see me again!" I never did!
Yours sincerely,